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My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Tribalism123(m): 1:01pm On Feb 10, 2023
mrblessed:
So, what is your resolution? Are you diving in with your eyes wide open?
Lol.
Omo.
Make I de collect Character fee o with her puna.
Me weh no get feelings again.
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Everlastingson: 1:06pm On Feb 10, 2023
Ideservebetter:
I'm 31


Don't let anyone deceive you. At 31 you're no longer that young as a woman. I'm not saying you're old, but neither are you that young. A man at 31 is quite younger than a woman at 31 biologically.A woman at 40 is near or into menopause but a man a 40 is still brand new. Your people pestering you about marriage are doing so out of love. They know your time is passing ( you may not like this but it's the truth). Is it at 40 you'll become serious to get married?


I'm not suggesting you jump into marriage with a man you don't love. But make sure you're not the one delaying your marriage by being unnecessarily choosy. Make sure you're not waiting for an imaginary man who would possess 100% of the qualities you're looking for. God is, however, the ultimate one you need for guidance into marriage. He knows your tomorrow. Involve Jesus and be serious so you can get married this year possibly.

2 Likes

Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Emmanuel30a: 1:07pm On Feb 10, 2023
Ideservebetter:
That's your own cup of tea
Tell dem dat u would marry me... Tell dem dat I am ur Adefemi, Olufemi, Ololufemi, Ifemi, Adeyemi, etc... Tell dem dat u are my Onitemi, Ololufemi,etc; dat u are not looking4 "Orisafemi..." or am I ur Orisafemi...? I am not Orisabunmi let alone Orisafemi... I am Olorunfemi, Olorunifemi, Nifemi, Olorungbebemi, Emabemi, Kosinkankanlabemi, Aonijolabemi,etc... So, se oni ifemi; se ofe femi? Nitotoo? Did u love me&want 2 marry me; truly, really, verily, willingly, happily,etc...? U want 2b my family or u want me 2b d Emily of&in ur family...? U want us 2 av family, happy family,etc; or u want 2b d Emily/aunty Emily in/of my family... Verily Verily Verily I say un2 u, u can be in my family, my family or d Emily in/of my family; but it must be willingly, truthfully, thankfully, submissively, surprisingly,etc... Verily*3 I said unto u, u can have a family/ur family, etc; with THE LILY OF VALLEY,etc... But, it/u must be readily&steadily...
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by drimzsmoke(m): 1:07pm On Feb 10, 2023
frozen70:


I think male from 30yrs
Female from 25yrs

Though I can be corrected

My younger brother got married at 28
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by aestake: 1:08pm On Feb 10, 2023
GboyegaD:
Be assertive in your response to them that "I will get married when I feel the time is right.
Still been fed at home...no housing and no husband to take her away? She can't be any assertive.
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by drimzsmoke(m): 1:13pm On Feb 10, 2023
Emmanuel30a:
Tell them dat u would marry me... Tell dem dat I am ur Adefemi, Olufemi, Ifemi, Adeyemi, etc... Tell dem dat u are Onitemi, Ololufemi,etc; dat u are not looking4 "Orisafemi..." or am I ur Orisafemi...? I am not Orisabunmi let alone Orisafemi... I am Olorunfemi, Olorunifemi, Nifemi, Olorungbebemi, Emabemi, Kosinkankanlabemi, Aonijolabemi,etc... So, se oni ifemi; se ofe femi? Nitotoo? Did u love me&want 2 marry me, truly, really, verily, willingly, happily,etc...? U want 2b my family or u want me 2b the Emily of&in ur family...? U want us 2 have family, happy family,etc; or u want to be the Emily/aunty Emily in/of my family... Verily Verily Verily I say unto u, u can be in my family, my family or the Emily in/of my family; but it must be willingly, truthfully, thankfully, submissively, surprisingly,etc... Verily*3 I said unto u, u can have a family/ur family, etc; with THE LILY OF VALLEY,etc... But, it/u must be readily&steadily...

Arghhhhh...and I read all this tori olorun,bicycle will jam you before the end of the day!!!
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by stormborn28(m): 1:26pm On Feb 10, 2023
Vijuchoco:
Ha! You're mean


During my university days my ICH lecturer would say "if 5 people tells you that you're drunk, even if you've never tasted alcohol before, check yourself something is wrong with you"

If you've had above 3 serious relationships in the past, and none worked out, I'll recommend you take a break a reflect inwardly, ask yourself certain questions like where am I getting it wrong, should I be more patient, do I overreact to irrelevant issues, am I trustworthy, am I honest, do I talk too much...etc.
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by stormborn28(m): 1:26pm On Feb 10, 2023
Ideservebetter:
Oh God! Nairaland has become so porous. It's premature minds like yours I don't need advice from.
Keep your advice to yourself, it'll be more beneficial to you


During my university days my ICH lecturer would say "if 5 people tells you that you're drunk, even if you've never tasted alcohol before, check yourself something is wrong with you"

If you've had above 3 serious relationships in the past, and none worked out, I'll recommend you take a break a reflect inwardly, ask yourself certain questions like where am I getting it wrong, should I be more patient, do I overreact to irrelevant issues, am I trustworthy, am I honest, do I talk too much...etc.
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Emmanuel30a: 1:29pm On Feb 10, 2023
Ideservebetter:
That's your own cup of tea
So, are you ready to marry or to have a family&happy family with THE LILY OF THE VALLEY...? You don't need Jetli, Bruce Lee, Bahubali, Mohammed Ali, Dele Ali, etc; in ur family or of your family...? You don't need to be in their family, or u don't need to become a family with them... Become a family and an ally of/with THE LILY OF THE VALLEY... Not with Naphtali, Jetli, Bruce Lee, Mohammed Ali, Dele Alli, etc; of Burundi or in Burundi...,etc...
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Isabi4lov: 1:29pm On Feb 10, 2023
neztar:
are you celibating?
Nope
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by stormborn28(m): 1:30pm On Feb 10, 2023
Everlastingson:



Don't let anyone deceive you. At 31 you're no longer that young as a woman. I'm not saying you're old, but neither are you that young. A man at 31 is quite younger than a woman at 31 biologically.A woman at 40 is near or into menopause but a man a 40 is still brand new. Your people pestering you about marriage are doing so out of love. They know your time is passing ( you may not like this but it's the truth). Is it at 40 you'll become serious to get married?


I'm not suggesting you jump into marriage with a man you don't love. But make sure you're not the one delaying your marriage by being unnecessarily choosy. Make sure you're not waiting for an imaginary man who would possess 100% of the qualities you're looking for. God is, however, the ultimate one you need for guidance into marriage. He knows your tomorrow. Involve Jesus and be serious so you can get married this year possibly.

Waooow.. An excellent advice
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by blacksam01: 1:35pm On Feb 10, 2023
Ideservebetter:
That's your own cup of tea

we aall did this same thing to my sis who became too selective and continue to wait for a charming prince from france...at laast sh married 8years after the pressure started and guess what...sh regreted not listening to us...from my elder sis point of reason...sh is getting older and pregnancy might get complicated...

alas, sh is now married for 3 years..no belle, fibriod don block block everywhere..and doc said fibriod can obstruct pregnancy but it hardly get successful with younger ladies even when they have firiod

long story short...anty is drinking all concussion now and visiting pastors up and down...sh is just 34 ooo..

u nevr see something...wait till time pass u...small work u got, u forgot ur a lady ..and ladies work with time..

dey shod stop begging u like we also planned and stopped talking to Uzo..now sh nor fit talk....

her decision , her life
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Brownshoe: 1:36pm On Feb 10, 2023
If you are not selective and of AA genotype quote me in my dead thread.
Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please. cry
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Emmanuel30a: 1:42pm On Feb 10, 2023
drimzsmoke:


Arghhhhh...and I read all this tori olorun,bicycle will jam you before the end of the day!!!
Have you smoked again today or did you smoke again today...? Slow poke or drimzsmoke or what is your name... Bicycle ko, motorcycle ati tricycle ni... You don't even know your lifecycle... You better start reading The Book of Mark, Luke, Habbakuk, Chronicles, etc...in THE BIBLE or of THE BIBLE... Yee ti kuku bo inu uku, yee sun boloku sori uku, talofe maba di ikuku? Nkunku? Abi iwo ni Atiku olorikuku, tiunpe arare ni olori ikuku ati olori awon adi ikuku...? Olori kuku abi olori awon adi ikuku...? Iwo ni Atiku olori kuku tiko mo ojo iku re...? Ti oba fe di ikuku, tabi ti on banwa eni ti e ojoma di ikuku, losi Okuku lodo awon Luku leke mo ile kewu... Osi le loba Kiriku alaini ajeseku, tabi Kiriku tiun gba owo alajeseku, ati beebeelo; ki e jo maba arayin din ikuku o...
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by MoneyMustBMade(m): 1:44pm On Feb 10, 2023
Brandiebird:
This place is full of children! Where are the adults

Plenty kids are on nairaland. From thier comments here
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by drimzsmoke(m): 1:46pm On Feb 10, 2023
Emmanuel30a:
Have you smoked again today or did you smoke again today...? Slow poke or drimzsmoke or what is your name... Bicycle ko, motorcycle ati tricycle ni... You don't even know your lifecycle... You better start reading The Book of Mark, Luke, Habbakuk, Chronicles, etc...in THE BIBLE or of THE BIBLE... Yee ti kuku bo inu uku, yee sun boloku sori uku, talofe maba di ikuku? Nkunku? Abi iwo ni Atiku olorikuku, tiunpe arare ni olori ikuku ati olori awon adi ikuku...? Olori kuku abi olori awon adi ikuku...? Iwo ni Atiku olori kuku tiko mo ojo iku re...? Ti oba fe di ikuku, tabi ti on banwa eni ti e ojoma di ikuku, losi Okuku lodo awon Luku leke mo ile kewu... Osi le loba Kiriku alaini ajeseku, tabi Kiriku tiun gba owo alajeseku, ati beebeelo; ki e jo maba arayin din ikuku o...

Lolz....Enjoy the rest of your day,bye!!!
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by frozen70(f): 1:52pm On Feb 10, 2023
drimzsmoke:


My younger brother got married at 28

That was a good one, probably he is among the last in the family, meaning that you guys who are his seniors must have positioned the entire family well

What age did you get married
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Emmanuel30a: 1:57pm On Feb 10, 2023
drimzsmoke:

Lolz....Enjoy the rest of your day,bye!!!
Okay o... Thanks you too...
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Bluezy13(m): 1:59pm On Feb 10, 2023
NutFunny:
Who told you they didn't understand the msg?

The board did.
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by drimzsmoke(m): 2:01pm On Feb 10, 2023
frozen70:


That was a good one, probably he is among the last in the family, meaning that you guys who are his seniors must have positioned the entire family well

What age did you get married

Lolz....you're wrong on all count....he's the 3rd,1st male to be married in the family.Ma,I'm not married jare,stop whining me....a very close friend of mine got married late last year,his younger brother has been married since 2020

MODIFY: Ma,on the average,I think educated yoruba men or people who live in Lagos do marry early
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by MoneyMustBMade(m): 2:04pm On Feb 10, 2023
Tribalism123:
Nne, Let me be frank.
I was introduced to a girl this December because I intend marrying this year. She will be 26 on her birthday this year. I realized she opened her nose, double ear and has a waist bead. I told her that those things are red flags to men but she kept arguing. She starts call conversations with argument of 'you supposed that have called me before now". I kept mute for a while and keep swallowing the pill so that I can see if I can correct some of her nonsense before saying goodbye at least to prepare her for marriage. The day I traveled, she called me that I should send her some data and I was on transit. After sending the data, she didn't call all through my long journey. I kept quiet. She called two days later. I sounding polite and told her I will call her at night. The night was yesterday. So when I called she rushed me the way she will always do. I listened to all her rubbish. Then I took my time to talk to her and whenever she wants to interfere to my talk I WILL SHOUT ON HER HEAD "keep quiet and listen!". I did this until I spent 15 good minutes on her head. She was so sober. She told me good night in soberness. This morning, her call woke me up. She didn't start her usual rubbish but asked me how will my day be and wished me good luck for the day. All her sense of entitlement diminished immediately.

So I will ask, have u checked your path?
Are u looking for already made guy or someone you can assist with advise to make it.
There are some guys that need only a lady who can look into what they are doing wrong and encourage them to do it right. Some guys are suffering but at the edge of making it. Ladies throw away these guys because they don't see what the future holds for such guys who may not have anything to offer, not even the money that entice them.

If it is standard, work on it. Men have standards but when it comes to marriage, their standards is aligned to character first before beauty.

Take it slow, u will get it right soon and get the cool guy for u.


And as for your people, look for something that annoys them and ask them that anytime they bring forth the topic. Don't complain. There must be there weak point. Let them see it as insult. But u will have ur peace henceforth.

Aunty: Nne when are u bringing someone to us?
Nne: Aunty, he will come... But how are u coping with F F that Chimezie is packing?. Children of this days. But aunty you are not that dull na.
Tomorrow, aunty go de her lane.

I respect you bro
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by JoyceNelly(f): 2:09pm On Feb 10, 2023
Berrityga:
you that have mature mind you came to nairaland to seek advice. Deluded sycophant. Your family should sale you into slavery since your not tired of eating free food at your age. Oloribruku
People no get joy wahlai...... Take it easy nairalander
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Tayorshd2(m): 2:17pm On Feb 10, 2023
Nazgul:
This is a very common practice in most Nigerian homes. Some parents (most especially mother's) get worried once their daughter starts clocking 25 and above and isn't showing any sign of settling down anytime soon.

In as much as their nagging might be annoying and embarrassing, you must understand that it's bore out of geninue care about your well-being.

For starters, I'll recommend you sit your dad and mom down and have a heart-to-heart conversation with them. Tell them what their constant nagging is doing to your mental health and threaten to commit suicide if they don't let you be.

You should work on yourself as well. During my university days my ICH lecturer would say "if 5 people tells you that you're drunk, even if you've never tasted alcohol before, check yourself something is wrong with you"

If you've had above 3 serious relationships in the past, and none worked out, I'll recommend you take a break a reflect inwardly, ask yourself certain questions like where am I getting it wrong, should I be more patient, do I overreact to irrelevant issues, am I trustworthy, am I honest, do I talk too much...etc.

If you can truthfully do an honest assessment on yourself this way, and change or adjust where necessary, I believe that your next relationship would be great.

You are truly matured thanks for this advise

1 Like

Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by victorazy(m): 2:27pm On Feb 10, 2023
nicerod:
U need to start shouting at them or talk to them rudely anything they talk about it.ime

Then husband go come grin

U want to talk to your ppl rudely rather than to check yasef for I'll characters that repels men from you.
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by emmaodet: 2:31pm On Feb 10, 2023
Ideservebetter:
I'm 31


Oshonofiaaaaaaa shocked shocked shocked shocked
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Olodo24: 2:32pm On Feb 10, 2023
If you're jobless or single in your 30s, avoid family gatherings at all cost

1 Like

Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by emmaodet: 2:45pm On Feb 10, 2023
ikeno:

You still very young na,they should stop pestering your life.at this age your still getting to understand your body and explore more.see mumu wey I be I think say you don clock 40 sef.



Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Aye oooo

You people are evil aje
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by dazzlingd(m): 2:54pm On Feb 10, 2023
Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please. cry

African parents need to stop this. They have destroyed people’s lives for this kind of pressure
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by franchasng: 2:59pm On Feb 10, 2023
Nazgul:
This is a very common practice in most Nigerian homes. Some parents (most especially mother's) get worried once their daughter starts clocking 25 and above and isn't showing any sign of settling down anytime soon.

In as much as their nagging might be annoying and embarrassing, you must understand that it's bore out of geninue care about your well-being.

For starters, I'll recommend you sit your dad and mom down and have a heart-to-heart conversation with them. Tell them what their constant nagging is doing to your mental health and threaten to commit suicide if they don't let you be.

You should work on yourself as well. During my university days my ICH lecturer would say "if 5 people tells you that you're drunk, even if you've never tasted alcohol before, check yourself something is wrong with you"

If you've had above 3 serious relationships in the past, and none worked out, I'll recommend you take a break a reflect inwardly, ask yourself certain questions like where am I getting it wrong, should I be more patient, do I overreact to irrelevant issues, am I trustworthy, am I honest, do I talk too much...etc.

If you can truthfully do an honest assessment on yourself this way, and change or adjust where necessary, I believe that your next relationship would be great.
Great advice.



Every average looking lady gets approached by guys on a daily basis and most average looking ladies meet their Mr Right before they clock age 30, but unfortunately most miss their Mr Right out of some self inflicted issues that I cannot begin to breakdown now cos we are focused on redeeming Nigeria from notorious treasury looters like Emilokan aka Balablubulabo grin




The golden rule of life for those who want to live a fulfilled life devoid of disappointments is to expect less from people.



Don't have too much expectation from anybody. As a single girl, don't have too much expectation of what and what qualities your man must have, just make sure he has some of the qualities you can tolerate and you must increase your tolerance level to find happiness and to find true friends and lover.




People that have too much expectation from others, especially from boyfriends, girlfriends, fiance, husband, wife always end up disappointed.




I have never expected much from the opposite sex, I depend solely on myself and my ability and lastly on God my maker.




As a single lady, that expect that the man you must be with or marry must be tall, dark, fair, rich, faithful, well educated, etc, what happened, are you God? Fear God with your expectations from the opposite sex.



As a single lady, learn to tolerate, learn to delay your gratification, learn to demand less, learn to add value to your friends and relationship, learn to be a helpmate and not just a chopmate.



Men of today are no longer looking for chopmate, they want helpmate they can partner with to build a better future.
Re: My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy by Akorkor(f): 3:17pm On Feb 10, 2023
neztar:
are you married?

Yes. Are you? How many years have you been? As a married person, I got married when I felt I was ready and it was not forced on me. You need to be happy as a single person before you can be happy as married.

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