Ideservebetter:
Honestly, I've never entertained the thought of sex outside of marriage..

you mean to tell me you've not had sex at 31?

aestake:

Still been fed at home...no housing and no husband to take her away? She can't be any assertive.

Hmmm.. You people and your terrible assumptions. Na wa o.
I've got my own apartment but I go to my family house almost every time I'm free from work.

Come nd marry me nd save ur self the stress jeje

Arizoner:
you mean to tell me you've not had sex at 31?

Is it strange to you?

Ideservebetter:
Is it strange to you?

are you sexually active?

Ideservebetter:
Hmmm.. You people and your terrible assumptions. Na wa o.
I've got my own apartment but I go to my family house almost every time I'm free from work.

Enjoy yourself then. But we know it is a lie.

Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please.

You can minimize your contact hours with them to reduce the pressure. If you used to call them twice a week, reduce it to once a week.

Most people don't seem to realize that many people who are of marriageable age and are not yet married wish to get married but have not found someone or lack the resources required. It is becomes double wahala when people start bugging them to get married.

Rubbiish:

Oga that man is saying the truth.
If as a lady she is not a clergy, like a rev. Sister, she will suffer at old age o. If ur mom is above 55, Picture your mom as a single lady in this stage of her life, no husband nor kids, u think it will be easy for her to cope? Raising a family is extremely important. Anyone telling u otherwise doesn't care about u.

s
Are you saying there are no women at 55-year-olds who are not suffering and are happy with their lives?
Or are you saying there are no women at 55-years-olds with husbands and children who are still suffering?

What exactly would a 55-year-old married woman get from her husband and kids that would make her suffer if she wasn't married with kids?

Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please.

Hehehehehe... this used to be my story when i was 28-31 yrs living in my family house then. My tenants and street people no dey allow me rest. Any little thing, - they say "go and marry". It was when I got my own apartment in a new area that nobody knew me I had rest.

If you don't mind can I get to know you more?

aestake:
But we know it is a lie.

Lol.. I don't think telling lies here would be necessary..
I work and I've got my own apartment.
I just don't want to give too much details in one post because I've got so many of my people on nairaland. There's a way I would write my story and they'll know it's me, I don't want that

Ideservebetter:
Lol.. I don't think telling lies here would be necessary..
I work and I've got my own apartment.
I just don't want to give too much details in one post because I've got so many of my people on nairaland. There's a way I would write my story and they'll know it's me, I don't want that

Okay. I know when you are independent the pressure reduces a little bit. What I hate most is after getting a man and marriage, you start bugging those leftovers.

aestake:

Okay. I know when you are independent the pressure reduces a little bit. What I hate most is after getting a man and marriage, you start bugging those leftovers.

What leftovers are you referring to please?

If you think you are independent, take hard decision to move away from your family.. At this age you perfectly knows what to do... May be you lacks enough courage to take the step 🤷‍♂️

Ideservebetter:
What leftovers are you referring to please?

google leftover women.

Travel far away abroad.

I'm not really a Big Fan of Marriage too.

I'm very Adventurous. Marriage and bringing Kids to this world are the last things on my mind.

Do not ever let anyone pressure you into marriage. Don't listen to your parents, they are just a product of their society.
They want you to conform and be like their friend's children.

Nobody will bear the burden of marriage with you. Not even your own parents.
Make up your own mind and when you are ready to marry, date your partner extensively, know him very well, know what he does for a living, his future ambitions, brothers, sisters, parents very well.
Do not ever jump into marriage and do not ever listen to any Nigerian pastor when it comes to marriage.

You will thank me later.

Akin1212:


Threaten suicide? Na wa o

Your ICH lecturer has poor philosophy, the majority or 5 people can also be wrong. If 5 people say you are drunk, it doesn't mean something is wrong with you, because they may all be blind. Life is bigger than this.

Despite the fact that parents may have a genuine interest and care about their children and want the best for them, pressuring them to get married is wrong! Parents should let their children live their lives how the children want it, not how they want them to live.

The aim of living life is not to get married or be in relationships, there is more to life than that.

Infact I was Just smiling as I was reading that guy's post☺

If someone can't find someone like his/her heart, It's better to remain Single than being miserable In a forced union because you want to Impress and satisfy the Society.

Marriage Is not a Must or a Do or Die Thing.

Live And Let Others Live👆

Akin1212:


You have seen many things that do not exist, it only proves that you are blind.

We are definitely not mates, at least in the department of thinking, you are way below. All you do is project your whims, caprices, and conjectures on strangers online. It must really hurt to be you.

If your parents had shown love to you when you were a kid, you would know very well that human beings are supposed to be given the freedom to live their lives on their own terms and not pressured to live the way others want. I am guessing you are one of those kids your parents hit every time you express your desires, hence you grew up with that attitude that everyone must do this or that, instead of doing what they want in line with their desires.

You will be fine, or not, it may be too late, I only pity you.

You have made my day so Colorful with this beautiful piece.

Isabi4lov:
Nowadays to see a guy that's serious for marriage is also difficult, na pipe and swipe with baby mamas mentality full outside. God will help we the single ladies .

There are some serious, responsible and modest guys out there. But would you guys be able to spot them and act civil when they approach you then give them chance and also be ready to build with them? I guess Not.

These days, Most of you want an "unrealistic reality, flashy things, ready made" and you keep on complaining afterall. To sum It up, There are too many Unfaithful People both Guys/Ladies out there these days.

Well everyone will be fine, That's for sure.

Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please.

Just take ur time.
I feel ur plight.
A compatible spouse is like a diamond,u rarely find it when you are eagerly looking for it.
Bet me ,u will soon find the right man if u think less of the issue.

JASONjnr:
The problem is this Z-generation of girls...

Infact, I've been facing challenges finding a suitable wife....And I don't mind snatching any good girl from any unserious boyfriend like this...


About your family pressure, you give them the chance to talk down on you and you smile it out.

The moment you sound strong and have someone as a scapegoat, the rest will avoid talking down on you.


Probably, you're too soft and you give chances for people to ride on you easily...

Well you have a point, but one don't have to create enemies or become unapproachable just because of some silly questions. If she acts like that, she'll gradually become a very angry person cos right now she's not even happy with her situation, she wants to get married.

Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please.

Dear sis, pls stay calm and don't get mad at them. You're currently in a situation that they don't understand, and you too may not understand how they feel right now. I'll advise you keep your cool cos at the end FAMILY matters. Whenever they ask you "when are you getting married?" Tell them very soon, don't make mountain out of it, I know it's not easy but it's best to avoid quarrelling or getting bitter.

anthonyuncle:


everyone should express themselves

Nobody is stopping anybody from from expressing his or herself, but those old people has a way of reasoning. They might scold her or add more insults for her. The best solution is ignore them, don't take their words serious.

HoneySwag:

Well you have a point, but one don't have to create enemies or become unapproachable just because of some silly questions. If she acts like that, she'll gradually become a very angry person cos right now she's not even happy with her situation, she wants to get married.

Getting married shouldn't make her out pressure on the man....

But working together to make it happen.

For instance, if you're purging and you can control yourself to get to the house and eventually rush to the toilet, then it means self-control....Rather than pooing on yourself because you're press or purging....

Treassured:


There are some serious, responsible and modest guys out there. But would you guys be able to spot them and act civil when they approach you then give them chance and also be ready to build with them? I guess Not.

These days, Most of you want an "unrealistic reality, flashy things, ready made" and you keep on complaining afterall. To sum It up, There are too many Unfaithful People both Guys/Ladies out there these days.

Well everyone will be fine, That's for sure.

You can only speak for yourself, some of us were ready to build with them but then life happens. What will be will be .

Rubbiish:

Let me shock u now
Can we get married next week?
Let's see if the fault will not come from u
Men don't have problems, the issue is with u ladies...honestly

Some men do have problems ..... If you don't tell them what to do ... They won't do anything.... They're never serious with anything in this life especially the ones that are advance in age .

Rubbiish:

the bold was funny to read
She never see that part of u before
But u just have to becareful sha, that her calmness is not temporary. Ladies that engage in this piercing of a thing got attitude problems

She can not even think of any mess. Na shout I go carry open door for her.
Who cares

That was how mine pressured me and I was barely twenty-one. It started from then on until I became 'depressed', nervous and worried. I was never truly happy. I left home but I wasn't free.

One man was even telling me to 'loosen' up, that I was too religious and people were finding it hard to approach me. So I should be smiling at anybody I see or open my doors to any Tom and Jerry? Mtchew I knew what he wanted anyway and I never gave him or anyone else.

Anyway, you will be fine. Move out of the house, get yourself stable and be open. Don't compromise unnecessarily. And above all, pray for God's guidance. You will need it. Don't go into sexual relationships because they are not moral. You will be fine.

achimendy:



Nobody is stopping anybody from from expressing his or herself, but those old people has a way of reasoning. They might scold her or add more insults for her. The best solution is ignore them, don't take their words serious.

there are ways to deal with oldies.
listen to them.
convinced them that their opinions are good.
weigh their options yourself.
tell them what you are opting for.
go ahead and do what will be beneficial to you.

don't give a fück about their reaction

[sup][/sup]

Autobot05:


That means you are qualified to be called an evening newspaper

Goodlady .. is this you ??

getat

Lovelydaisies:
That was how mine pressured me and I was barely twenty-one. It started from then on until I became 'depressed', nervous and worried. I was never truly happy. I left home but I wasn't free.

One man was even telling me to 'loosen' up, that I was too religious and people were finding it hard to approach me. So I should be smiling at anybody I see or open my doors to any Tom and Jerry? Mtchew I knew what he wanted anyway and I never gave him or anyone else.

Anyway, you will be fine. Move out of the house, get yourself stable and be open. Don't compromise unnecessarily. And above all, pray for God's guidance. You will need it. Don't go into sexual relationships because they are not moral. You will be fine.

You capped at the end, nothing concerns sexual relationships with morality, over religiousness won't be the end of you.