AYNL:
Someone is struggling doesn't mean they won't make it
The wealthy people out there, started somewhere, stop being insensitive with your liability mentality
If the stomach cramp had happened in your own house, with nobody with you, what would you have done? It's even clear you're broke too, because if you weren't, you wouldn't wait on a guy to save your own life
As he no get money, why you no fit buy drugs with your own money to save your life first of all
Y'all will be preaching Independence, but wants to survive on men at the same time

Don't mind the poverty stricken hypocrite

Elder0001:


How come you didn't have any money to buy yourself drugs either? You are also broke asf, looking for somebody to dump your problems on.

Omo, it's time to deactivate my account and leave this platform. Too many dumb and illogical topics/ posts littered all over. SMH

The truth is bitter. So I understand.

Deactivate. You'll not be missed.

EriMma1:
No no no... You tell me?

A man who cannot meet your needs should not be anywhere around you because he'll only be a stumbling block to your progress and cause you to miss out on great opportunities that would have come your way through those who understand the assignment. Don't ever let such men around you.

I've never been an advocate for starting small with a man after my past experiences even before the economy got this bad not to talk of now that it has plunged deep into meltdown.

A lot of ladies who went into such mess in the early 2000s are still carrying the family till today while the men are struggling to meet up with no headways or hopes in sight. This takes me to the next point.

As a single man still struggling, don't ever brainwash or be brainwashed by any girl to go into marriage and manage with you until things get better. Y'all have seen that e go better has become the prayer of a poor man. So run away from such trap. Make it to a reasonable level first before going for a woman.

I don't want to begin to go into details of the eventualities that may likely occur and become very grave due to inability to tackle them financially. Use your tongue to count your teeth.

I remember a long time ago when I was dating one struggling guy. The aunty asked him a very good question I'll never forget in my life and that taught me a lesson I've been applying in life's situations.

He invited me to come spend the weekend with him that the aunt was around so I could feel relaxed. When I got there and the aunty saw me, she called him aside and asked him the following.
You know we are struggling to eat in this house. Your salary is not enough and you brought in a young girl. What if there's an emergency in the course of her stay, what will you do? How will you go about it? When he told me, I became scared and thought the aunt was right. I now remembered one certain time I visited a friend. So that night we strolled out to buy suya. I don't know if it was from the suya paper or the unhygienic environment it was prepared that gave me food poison. That night, I didn't know where I was. Serious stomach cramps and I was just coiling up in the room that day holding my stomach. Again this lawyer guy no get shishi to even take me to the nearest clinic. In his confusion he gave me garlic to chew. That seemed to help a little but omor, I broke up with him.

So, with this few points of mine, I believe iv been able to convince and not confuse you on the need to stay away from a man that cannot cater for your needs.

If you attack me, it shows you're a struggling guy or dating a struggling guy. Una eyes go soon clear. My own don clear tey tey.

Enjoy.

Shey dem swear for your own generation make una no fit get money?

If you have your own money why you no go fit use am pay your emergency hospital bill?

Poverty done establish junta for your family generation o, I pity your life baby

franchasofficia:
But she made a good point.


Going into marriage without having a certain level of financial stability or having a sustainable means of income is a recipe for disaster.



That mantra of building together with a girl doesn't always end well. If truly couples do become financially better after marriage as a result of some mythological belief that marriage brings blessing, then we shouldn't have more than 150 million Nigerians living in poverty with over 50million married couple struggling to feed today. So you see?



Every single man should strive to achieve a certain level of financial stability before venturing into marriage, or have a sustainable means of earning income, be it through business, trade, craft, handiwork or paid job, it is important. You are not doing it for the girl but for your own safety and mental being oh because the world of today is becoming more and more difficult to survive if you are from a poor family and it will be more difficult to maneuver through our current difficult economy with the burden of innocent kids

No she didn't.

She started by say women should not be with a man that can't provide for her needs, then go on to make points for feminism.

That alone shows the type of woman she is.

Why should a man provide for the needs of another grown up adult that has parents.

She said she broke up with a man because he was so broke he couldn't buy her drugs for stomach ache, which she herself was too broke to do anything about.

Even in marriage, a man cannot provide your 100 percent needs.

What happens when the man loses his job or business collapse?

The broke guy isn't gonna be broke for life too.

Jay Z wasn't always the Jay Z we know but Beyoncé never left him because she saw the prospect, what of Barack Obama?

The repulsive attitude here is her leechy attitude which she's advertising. It takes away any work or perseverance from women, just wake and start running after the made and dumb your needs on them.

Anyway, let she and her type keep avoiding the broke with prospect, the future will decide which girl made the right choice.

@Op, your write is from a shallow mind, when you compared the likes of Ned nwoko & co, do they get fortunes overnight? Fortune is a process, so if you dont stay with that your broke man & support him then forget to share from the dividends when he makes fortune.If you are finding an already made man you will loose inthe fullness of time cuz you werent there when he made it so you will be a cast away one day. Reason well before gallivanting!

shineeye1:


You can do better. This is an age of gender EQUALITY. TEAM50-50

Okay ooo

LEGALSER:


Some of you will wake up once morning, come to nairaland and start creating topics to post absolute nonsense. This is 21st century try and do away with entitlement mentality if you can support a man to grow do so and if you can’t stay clear and look for those who are ready to carry your loads of nonsense. Stop bothering us with your petty stories that shows nothing but insensitivity, all men can’t be same and even if a man finally gets a breakthrough there are ups and downs, don’t degrade a man simply because he can’t provide your needs now. You that can provide your needs, what do you need a man for? It simply means you are a broke ass looking for a man that you’ll suffocate with your insatiable desires.

Always pained each time you're reminded of your reality. Instead of picking the part that concerns you and try to work on it, you resort to insults and weak defence as expected anyways.

The 💊 is always too bitter for you men to swallow.

sunbreaker:
can't you meet the need of yourself. Must you live by man? If you do,that means you are liability

We are not talking about me here but the men.

DREAMHOMES6970:


Do you believe in equality?

Not really.

So what can you offer the guy in return? Sex right? U no serious..

Wrong perception.

franchasofficia:
My brother, the op have a good point, let single men learn from her write up instead of getting worked up.



There is a difference between our forefathers and father's time and our present time.


During our forefathers' or father's time, the population of the world was very small, in fact sizable and opportunities were enough for willing men ready to exploit them unlike now that overpopulation is fast depleting available opportunities and making things highly competitive.


Some decades ago, Europe had so many opportunities such that once you find your way and enter Europe, your life will become better but the case is different today.


US DV lottery existed for Nigerians and many countries some years back which helped a lot of Nigerian families to escape generational poverty, is that opportunity available today again?


There were several scholarships for intelligent students in Nigeria back then, today such scholarships are highly competitive.


In our forefathers' time, women were mostly housewives and helped their husbands in the farm, but today we have even more educated and qualified women than men who have taken up jobs that men once had exclusively.


Where do I even start and stop?



So don't expect the dynamics of marriage to remain the same brother, marriage must change, husbands and wives must change as life and situation changes too. We are humans born to adapt to changes in order to survive

Please, go read the ops point of view again... You are equally aligning with my point

For every action, there must be a proportional reason.

Now ask, as a lady, why do I want a relationship? Is the relationship because I want a man who will feed and take care of me?

If your problem is money, then, you don't need a man. All you need as a lady is job

EriMma1:



Why should a woman be the one to meet your needs? Are women meant to til the ground? That's the man's duty from creation and even though women are now doing it. It still doesn't give a man the right to her money.

They have insulted you enough. Please deactivate your account. How could you bear that shame?

You should have waited for you to be married before making such post.

Now I curse you.
You won't find a man that will love you not to mention a man that will cater for you need.

Karleb:


No she didn't.

She started by say women should not be with a man that can't provide for her needs, then go on to make points for feminism.

That alone shows the type of woman she is.

Why should a man provide for the needs of another grown up adult that has parents.

She said she broke up with a man because he was so broke he couldn't buy her drugs for stomach ache, which she herself was too broke to do anything about.

Even in marriage, a man cannot provide your 100 percent needs.

What happens when the man loses his job or business collapse?

The broke guy isn't gonna be broke for life too.

Jay Z wasn't always the Jay Z we know but Beyoncé never left him because she saw the prospect, what of Barack Obama?

The repulsive attitude here is her leechy attitude which she's advertising. It takes away any work or perseverance from women, just wake and start running after the made and dumb your needs on them.

Anyway, let she and her type keep avoiding the broke with prospect, the future will decide which girl made the right choice.

Bro please don't bring American scenario into Nigerian situation. American scenarios are quite different. Whoever wishes to succeed will succeed in America if the person stays focused in one thing and master it. Same cant be said about Nigeria. To succeed in Nigeria, most times you need hardwork, smartness, right friends, good background, luck and even some element of spirituality again, which makes Nigerian case very complicated



The only point I picked from her write up is the fact that every single man out there need to productive and have something doing before venturing into marriage.


We cannot continue to encourage broke single men to get married and be overpopulating Nigeria and complicating our already complicated situation.



We need a new reorientation on marriage.



Broke guys can date and catch fun no issue, but I do not support any man getting married without a sustainable means of livelihood, I don't care what it is but let it be legitimate and sustainable with possibility of growth/expansion.

EriMma1:


Do you know my age? No. So don't conclude yet.

I still maintain my stance. Don't ever be with a man that cannot meet your needs.

Any grown, able bodied, adult man/woman with this mindset is a THIEF, PARASITE, SELF ENTITLED, LAZY, AIR HEAD!!! and deserves NO MAN!!!
If u know u have needs go n meet them yourself and stop writing rubbish here looking for the next host to leech on.
Its so disgusting to read posts from such entitled parasites

Isabi4lov:
Tell them o , some women will be forming super woman but deep down in their hearts they're dying .

You better don't start what you cannot finish.

If your man don't spend on you , definitely he's spending on someone else .

To look good and healthy it entails money .

Make nobody bobo you .

Don't mind them. One is now telling him she wants to leave the man. Another one on front page is seeking divorce because of this same issue.

See all the affected men wailing all over my post. I'm not shaming anyone, just trying to warn them of the dangers in commiting to such relationships. Even the bible says a man that can not take care of his household is worst than an infidel. That is what we are seeing today.

EriMma1:
No no no... You tell me?

A man who cannot meet your needs should not be anywhere around you because he'll only be a stumbling block to your progress and cause you to miss out on great opportunities that would have come your way through those who understand the assignment. Don't ever let such men around you.

I've never been an advocate for starting small with a man after my past experiences even before the economy got this bad not to talk of now that it has plunged deep into meltdown.

A lot of ladies who went into such mess in the early 2000s are still carrying the family till today while the men are struggling to meet up with no headways or hopes in sight. This takes me to the next point.

As a single man still struggling, don't ever brainwash or be brainwashed by any girl to go into marriage and manage with you until things get better. Y'all have seen that e go better has become the prayer of a poor man. So run away from such trap. Make it to a reasonable level first before going for a woman.

I don't want to begin to go into details of the eventualities that may likely occur and become very grave due to inability to tackle them financially. Use your tongue to count your teeth.

I remember a long time ago when I was dating one struggling guy. The aunty asked him a very good question I'll never forget in my life and that taught me a lesson I've been applying in life's situations.

He invited me to come spend the weekend with him that the aunt was around so I could feel relaxed. When I got there and the aunty saw me, she called him aside and asked him the following.
You know we are struggling to eat in this house. Your salary is not enough and you brought in a young girl. What if there's an emergency in the course of her stay, what will you do? How will you go about it? When he told me, I became scared and thought the aunt was right. I now remembered one certain time I visited a friend. So that night we strolled out to buy suya. I don't know if it was from the suya paper or the unhygienic environment it was prepared that gave me food poison. That night, I didn't know where I was. Serious stomach cramps and I was just coiling up in the room that day holding my stomach. Again this lawyer guy no get shishi to even take me to the nearest clinic. In his confusion he gave me garlic to chew. That seemed to help a little but omor, I broke up with him.

So, with this few points of mine, I believe iv been able to convince and not confuse you on the need to stay away from a man that cannot cater for your needs.

If you attack me, it shows you're a struggling guy or dating a struggling guy. Una eyes go soon clear. My own don clear tey tey.

Enjoy.

Nothing is wrong with wanting the best in your life. You just don't know how to get it. It's understandable

EriMma1:



Why should a woman be the one to meet your needs? Are women meant to til the ground? That's the man's duty from creation and even though women are now doing it. It still doesn't give a man the right to her money.

haven't you heard of equality between men and women.Most broke women reason this way,it is the man duty to pay my bills.Complete dependence on a man for survival is a form of slavery.What happens if tommorow the man goes broke.You would leave him and go and be a prostitute.My sister go and hustle.Making money is not just for men.Just like poverty is not only for women.

As a virtuous woman I’ll only build with a man that will be very richhhhhhh. Like transforming from a millionaire to a billionaire to a trillionaire and zillionaire

Autobot05:
Another potential evening newspaper

Are you an orphan or you simply don't understand that adulthood is simply about looking out for yourself

When he meets your needs what do you bring to the table ?

She bring pussy senseless idiot

franchasofficia:
My brother, the op have a good point, let single men learn from her write up instead of getting worked up.



There is a difference between our forefathers and father's time and our present time.


During our forefathers' or father's time, the population of the world was very small, in fact sizable and opportunities were enough for willing men ready to exploit them unlike now that overpopulation is fast depleting available opportunities and making things highly competitive.


Some decades ago, Europe had so many opportunities such that once you find your way and enter Europe, your life will become better but the case is different today.


US DV lottery existed for Nigerians and many countries some years back which helped a lot of Nigerian families to escape generational poverty, is that opportunity available today again?


There were several scholarships for intelligent students in Nigeria back then, today such scholarships are highly competitive.


In our forefathers' time, women were mostly housewives and helped their husbands in the farm, but today we have even more educated and qualified women than men who have taken up jobs that men once had exclusively.


Where do I even start and stop?



So don't expect the dynamics of marriage to remain the same brother, marriage must change, husbands and wives must change as life and situation changes too. We are humans born to adapt to changes in order to survive

Please, go read the ops point of view again... You are equally aligning with my point

For every action, there must be a proportional reason.

Now ask, as a lady, why do I want a relationship? Is the relationship because I want a man who will feed and take care of me?

If your problem is money, then, you don't need a man. All you need as a lady is job

The lady said, she can never marry a guy who's trying to make it or a struggling guy. She can only date guys that can take care of her needs.
So, you think the made guys don't have histories? They don't have ladies that gave them values? So, you'll just come from nowhere, without significance, and start dating and eventually, marriage. The ops must have watched too much Nollywood movies about luck

franchasofficia:
My brother, the op have a good point, let single men learn from her write up instead of getting worked up.



There is a difference between our forefathers and father's time and our present time.


During our forefathers' or father's time, the population of the world was very small, in fact sizable and opportunities were enough for willing men ready to exploit them unlike now that overpopulation is fast depleting available opportunities and making things highly competitive.


Some decades ago, Europe had so many opportunities such that once you find your way and enter Europe, your life will become better but the case is different today.


US DV lottery existed for Nigerians and many countries some years back which helped a lot of Nigerian families to escape generational poverty, is that opportunity available today again?


There were several scholarships for intelligent students in Nigeria back then, today such scholarships are highly competitive.


In our forefathers' time, women were mostly housewives and helped their husbands in the farm, but today we have even more educated and qualified women than men who have taken up jobs that men once had exclusively.


Where do I even start and stop?



So don't expect the dynamics of marriage to remain the same brother, marriage must change, husbands and wives must change as life and situation changes too. We are humans born to adapt to changes in order to survive

Please, go read the ops point of view again... You are equally aligning with my point

For every action, there must be a proportional reason.

Now ask, as a lady, why do I want a relationship? Is the relationship because I want a man who will feed and take care of me?

If your problem is money, then, you don't need a man. All you need as a lady is job

The lady said, she can never marry a guy who's trying to make it or a struggling guy. She can only date guys that can take care of her needs.
So, you think the made guys don't have histories? They don't have ladies that gave them values? So, you'll just come from nowhere, without significance, and start dating and eventually, marriage. The ops must have watched too much Nollywood movies about luck

To every action, there's a corresponding equal and opposite reaction

Skyview01:
Erinmma,

As a guy, i wholeheartedly agree with you.

My brother, see me o. I'm not shaming anyone but simply stating the obvious. That's why I used my experience as a case study.

udeh3:


Please, go read the ops point of view again... You are equally aligning with my point

For every action, there must be a proportional reason.

Now ask, as a lady, why do I want a relationship? Is the relationship because I want a man who will feed and take care of me?

If your problem is money, then, you don't need a man. All you need as a lady is job

You are right.


But let us be Frank to ourselves, since the beginning of the world, the number one reason women marry men is for provision and defense, every other reason is secondary to them.



So don't be deceived oh, behind all those lovey dovey from your sweetheart, know it that if she doesn't see prospect of a good life in you at the moment or in the future, she will never accept to be with you.



Women are definite with their goals before settling down, except those that got unwanted pregnancy and ended up being married cos of pregnancy.



Ordinarily, every women considers her present and future well being before accepting to marry a man.



What happens in Nigeria is that most ladies marry guys who aren't financially buoyant with the great hope that he would become rich someday and she would then enjoy all his wealth alone as the one that stood with him from his struggling days. When you analyze this, you will realize that its still boils down to the fact that ladies marry men mostly for provision and prospect of a good life.


Some Nigerian ladies go as far as going spiritual to enquire about the future of that their so called broke boyfriend before they agree to marry him, so don't even think that some ladies marry broke guys because they are angels, na so.



In all these, there are exceptions who marry for other reasons like sexual needs, and it mostly applies to ladies who have met their financial needs and just looking for a man to meet their sexual and emotional needs, and they usually come as older women.


Some also marry for procreation.

EriMma1:


My brother, see me o. I'm not shaming anyone but simply stating the obvious. That's why I used my experience as a case study.

Your case study dosent add up because you're not married...if you were married then yes you're entitled to your husbands resources....but you were only dating a guy who hasent married you and you expect him to provide drugs that you cant even provide for yourself? Go and borrow shame.

Even if a guy is well to do he wont even look twice at a liability like you talk less of marrying...you go dey your pman house gan

jeromestarks:

They have insulted you enough. Please deactivate your account. How could you bear this shame?

You should have waited for you to be married before making such post.

Now I curse you.
You won't find a man that will love you not to mention a man that will cater for you need.

No curse is bigger than the one currently following you. You have no house,no car,no wife,no honor,no child and you are in your 30s!

You are an emblem of suffering and reproach. The reason you are poor is because you wish others bad. You curse people,and inadvertently you curse yourself. What did this woman do that you are cursing her?

Start praying for people and wishing then we'll and God will deliver you from the curse of non achievement that has overshadowed your life.

Plus you are malnourished.
@EriMma1 has more prospects than you in life.


For all women reading this post,don't marry a poor or struggling man. So you can pass legacy down. Imagine otedola son or dangote son doing this online? If your son is jeromestark,will you be happy?

franchasofficia:
Bro please don't bring American scenario into Nigerian situation. American scenarios are quite different. Whoever wishes to succeed will succeed in America if the person stays focused in one thing and master it. Same cant be said about Nigeria. To succeed in Nigeria, most times you need hardwork, smartness, right friends, good background, luck and even some element of spirituality again, which makes Nigerian case very complicated



The only point I picked from her write up is the fact that every single man out there need to productive and have something doing before venturing into marriage.


We cannot continue to encourage broke single men to get married and be overpopulating Nigeria and complicating our already complicated situation.



We need a new reorientation on marriage.



Broke guys can date and catch fun no issue, but I do not support any man getting married without a sustainable means of livelihood, I don't care what it is but let it be legitimate and sustainable with possibility of growth/expansion.

You didn't know Simi and Adekunle has been since Uni days?

Was it not hardworking men she's shaming here, I'm sure that her broke lawyer ex isn't broke anymore.

Isn't it funny that you people broke shame guys just starting out their lives?

Anyway, broke men and women should stay off marriage.

UAObi:
She should go, so that the man can have his peace and manage his life. Simple

Don't beg anybody to stay with you. Let her go

Exactly my point. If im with a man and I discover he can't cater for me, omor, I'll take to my heels. I'm working and can fend for myself but my man should be responsible for me in some areas or what will be doing in my life if he's not contributing to my welfare? Na spectator him be? Abi body wey dey service you no need maintenance?

You too think am now.

marlow1962:

But I wi til the ground finish and that gives her the right to my money abi?
Sometimes eh una reasoning no just the correspond.
Have you forgotten “what a man can do a woman can do better”
Make she go hustle for her money and stop depending on a man for survival, na una post they give all this useless gals on and off nairaland moral to the do rubbish.

Don't worry bro

A time is coming that all these women will be prohibited entirely from the workplace, from holding a position, holding office if they continue to behave in a toxic, unreasonable manner. The workplace will be squarely or strictly meant for men once again as it was in the days of our Fathers.

While the female gender will be relegated and restricted to domestic affairs.

Later they'll be chanting equality nonsense

Can you picture a Man saying this?


Selective feminism smh

EriMma1:


Go and read your bible oga. God placed that responsibility on the man.

So far, women have been getting empowered financially and meeting their needs by themselves since the men are beginning to fall short in their responsibilities and original position. So no biggies but that does not erase the fact that a man should cater for her needs.

Emotional blackmail