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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? (35766 Views)
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Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Kobojunkie: 12:47am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Enemyofpeace:I don't see swearing against your culture which in fact encourages men to marry and support their wives in the manner exposed by the OP. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Datedoboy: 12:49am On Mar 12, 2023 |
emmaodet: No need to answer her. Girls that talk like this are non virgins and hoes. They don't know what love and commitment means. It's all about money 2 Likes |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Kobojunkie: 12:49am On Mar 12, 2023 |
henrybangs44:1. Why curse at her when she is simply repeating what many of you already accept and do in your various lives? Yes, the average Nigerian man, even until 2023, believes it is his duty to submit to hypogamy because that is what is culturally acceptable. So why curse at OP for saying exactly the same thing? |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Kobojunkie: 12:49am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Datedoboy:Are you a virgin yourself that you are busy assaulting her without taking time out to logically process what she said? 1 Like |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by EriMma1: 12:51am On Mar 12, 2023 |
ednut1: Keep consoling yourself |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by kevotek1000(m): 12:53am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: Not really, what happens to caring and loving the man even if he doesn't have money or landed properties. Body alone has never be a enough even in the olden days. Women has always be a great pillar and support even the men couldn't farm anymore as a result of old age, the women will farm to feed their husband, my dear you are nowhere close to ancient women. 1 Like |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by ednut1(m): 12:53am On Mar 12, 2023 |
EriMma1:lol consoling myself Not my situation. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Datedoboy: 12:55am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:It seems you're not that's why you are pained. I won't answer that question cos my answer might get u upset. The lady can't cater for her needs but she wants someone that is rich to do that. So what is there to process? That's how hoes reason |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by EriMma1: 12:57am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Isabi4lov: LoL... @ awwnnning.. . True o. They'll be shaking like electric fish and drooling over a lady being taken care of by a man like them. Meanwhile their girlfriends who's now looking washed out due to lack of care will no longer appeal to them. No be men wen I know? Then theyll start creating threads like "she's no longer attractive, how can I tell her I'm no longer interested." |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Kobojunkie: 12:58am On Mar 12, 2023 |
kevotek1000:1. You realize you all convolute ideas when you attempt to mix them up. What has "caring and loving" to do in a marriage where the man sits as a god over his woman rather than as a lover and a friend? 2. Culturally, and this is based on many traditions in that same Nigeria, all the woman needs to do is prepare her body and mind to serve her husband. So for you to now state that body alone is not enough, if for you to essentially declare that pretty much all of your culture and traditional rules need to be thrown out as they no longer make sense. Are you finally accepting that ought to have happened or are you instead still stuck wanting to blame the women for all the problems? 3. Indeed, some unlucky women occupied statuses no different from slaves during the time of your forefathers. Are you saying that is what it should be? You would give your daughter away to a man who would reduce her to nothing more than a slave in marriage? |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by EriMma1: 1:00am On Mar 12, 2023 |
moralex: So any rich man now must die or become poor to justify your inability to meet up with standard. Na wa for this kind reasoning. Na poor man no dey die na. Uchu. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by marcopollo(m): 1:02am On Mar 12, 2023 |
There's something psychologically wrong with people who reason like the OP like women are like pets for men waiting to be "taken care of." Like women can't make their own money and they must look up to a man to take care of them. Even though there are truths to what the OP is saying, but that's the kinda vibe I get. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Kobojunkie: 1:03am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Datedoboy:1. Culturally, and following many of your traditions, a lady is allowed to desire that the man caters to all of her needs in marriage. OP did not make these rules up. She is instead echoing what remains a tradition in much of Nigeria today, a rule many Nigerians still hold to even as we speak. Insulting her for stating it only means you are unable to logically reason these things as they really are. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by EriMma1: 1:05am On Mar 12, 2023 |
VeeVeeMyLuv: Why must the rich man always die in your illustrations? Are you an enemy of good things? Na the struggling man e sure for say poverty no go kill am. Please snap out of it abeg! Drop this negative mindset otherwise it will become your reality. Be positive for once. If the rich man become poor yen yen yen... Una no dey see poor man becoming rich so it can manifest in your lives. Na so so doom una dey see. Biko, charam na uzo! |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Kobojunkie: 1:05am On Mar 12, 2023 |
marcopollo:1. Your very culture, and traditional laws, reason the same way, and since most of you hold Culture high, it means you also reason pretty much like the OP does, only you don't openly admit it. So doesn't that then mean you are also psychologically wrong? 2. You think by accepting and opening admitting the truth of your culture, she is somehow worse than you lot who pretend you don't accept it yet pretty much every aspect of your lives is colored by it? |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Flamemignon1(m): 1:09am On Mar 12, 2023 |
This is how toxic feminity uplifts toxic masculinity 1 Like |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by EriMma1: 1:11am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Karleb: You lie! The man was not lazy. He was working but not financially stable and they both overlooked that part and rushed into marriage. Now the die is caste, she wants out because the heat is too much for one person to bear. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by EriMma1: 1:14am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Business3600: Be deceiving yourself. Even if she's the CEO of a company, she can never split the responsibilities half with you. You'll still be the one carrying 90% of the whole thing. Na mouth una get. We know how we run you guys that think you're smart. No be woman I be. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by ogwumgbe: 1:14am On Mar 12, 2023 |
EriMma1: Your cup of tea and no man cares about your muthafucking ass, I pity men that allow women to intimidate them. Go to Churches, half of the congregation are women seeking for husband by all means, who cares? Men who knows their worth don't give a Bleep about any goddamn entitled women. Many are even begging to use their money and pay their bride prize and even feed the man provided the man will just cover their shame of being single. Keep deceiving yourself, time wait for not man. Ladies far more beautiful, educated and richer than you are out there begging God to give them a husband, you are irrelevant dude 2 Likes |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Datedoboy: 1:15am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:Going by traditions, op is not qualified to talk cos I'm sure, she isn't a virgin. I will agree with her on one condition, if she is a virgin cos she brings the value of purity while i bring the value of resources. Anything else, i see it as a biiiig scam to manipulate men which i can't fall for 2 Likes |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 1:19am On Mar 12, 2023 |
EriMma1:U still don't get me And you are missing the point If you later found out that a guy that you started developing feelings for, falling for or giving green light, all along na borrow pose, everything he was using down to boxer and toothbrush is someone else's own probably his boss or friend! How would you feel? are you aware that some Broke guys or guys that look broke have rich friends and powerful connect? There was a time, I was broke while in university, there's this rich friend I usually hang out with... We were really close, luxury apartment, some expensive toys U need to be discrete, use your discretion. Be reasonable. I leave you with this question, realistically speaking, is it possible for every lady to get rich men each for themselves in this hardship economically battered Nigeria? |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by EriMma1: 1:24am On Mar 12, 2023 |
biyiwyle: Yes because I don't want to stress somebody's son who's still struggling to find his feet in the name of relationship. If peradventure impromptu marriage happens, na everybody, including innocent children go suffer am a d me I don't want to suffer my kids by marrying a broke husband. 2 Likes |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Kobojunkie: 1:26am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Datedoboy:1. Tradition does not actually stipulate that only virgins need apply, so I suggest you find out where your virgin requirement in fact came from. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Desusi: 1:28am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:Thank you brother! If you're looking for a man who will be your boy, boy,my dear, you will melt.Gone are those days when men would be carrying unnecessary responsibilities.! Marriage is give and take. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by EriMma1: 1:29am On Mar 12, 2023 |
Datedoboy: Love and commitment that has destroyed many homes and lives due to lack of the basic needs of life,? Na love go pay your medical bills. Just tell her I love you and she'll be well. Na love and commitment to poverty go feed your wife and children. Sorry onyen love. Don't work hard to become a man. Be looking for excuses where there's none. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by GUNITGuy: 1:36am On Mar 12, 2023 |
No go find work keep looking for SIMPS 1 Like |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by EriMma1: 1:37am On Mar 12, 2023 |
VeeVeeMyLuv: Again, why should the rich man always have comma in the instances you're giving? |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by tochuukwu(m): 1:39am On Mar 12, 2023 |
EriMma1: OP, the first part of your post is actually very true... A man should actually be financially stable upto certain extents before having a serious partner... Money is very vital to life... Simple and short. But the part where I'd say you're wrong and also why alot of people commenting are attacking you is when you put it that the man's earnings should be to "meet a woman's needs" (woman way no be him wife, kai)... A guy can assist a girl in several ways, but it is never a guy's calling in life to meet your needs. The girl in question also has to be useful to the guy's life in ways other than just being useful in bed. You've mentioned the Bible when responding to some people's comments; but even in the same Bible, there are hundreds of instances where a woman played a vital role in a man's success story. It's as simple as that. If you want a man to be useful to you, you too have to be useful to the man. Life is always give and take. That's my take on this. I don't see the need to throw insults at anybody. I believe we're here to reason together. Your advice still remains true though; as a young man coming up, it's very important to find all means to stand on your feet financially. Very importanta! So much can not be achieved without money. 1 Like
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Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by pansophist(m): 1:39am On Mar 12, 2023 |
op, if you mean this post in the context of marriage, then of course you made a whole lot of sense. The worth of a man is in the provision, to be able to take care of his family. But if it is in the context of a mere relationship, then no, he owes you nothing. And also, feel free to assume your duty as a woman only after marriage. So no sex, kissing, and domestic duties. It's fair that way. In my book, a vulcanizer that has his own self-contain, who earns honorably, and who can take care of a woman reasonably is responsible in my book. Lots of men can start a family, but the expectations of women these days are very high, making men feels like they are not good enough. If you want an iPhone 14 pro that costs over a million, then a banker earning 300k monthly won't be able to afford it for you. Does it mean he is not responsible again? The issue here is the disconnect between women's desires and the reality of things. Women's needs are not proportional to realities on the ground, but exponential. So for example, a man earning 200k naira monthly in the context of Nigeria is above average, but lots of women will consider him poor, that he is not good enough for them. This is the lack of proportionality I mean. If both of you live modestly, his salary should be enough, and if you are not lazy, you can make it easier if you work as well. Also, the way women analyze the financial depth of a man's pocket, the man is also analyzing if this girl is a gold digger. There is this story in the bible where Jesus appreciated the offering of a poor widow and rejected the ones by the wealthy men simply because it came from a good heart, and it was over-proportionate to what she had. She basically gave all. In my book, a vulcanizer that gives you 50k, but earns 100k a month is a hero, compare to a yahoo thief that buys you a phone worth millions. But in this Nigeria, many girls will choose the yahoo boy over the vulcanizer. So it is not black and white. Men are trying. The average man wants to be loved and will do everything to get that taste of a woman's warmth who loves him purely. A bit of empathy is needed for men. For men, the love they experience dries as they grow older. So for example, a girl of 16 years will be receiving love and attention from multiple channels, such as parents, toasters, boyfriends, brothers, and so forth. A boy of 16 probably gets love only from his parents, no girls are lining up to take him out. If he asks a girl, then love in form of cash will go from him to her. And the older he gets, his parents will become his dependents. Meanwhile, a girl will marry and her husband continues showering her love from where everybody stopped. But of course, after she has selected the best of men in all her charity givers. But even if a man marries his choice, he still has to spend heavily. She will probably love the kids more than him, and her love is only as valid as how long he can be useful materially. This is the reality of men. Even in these circumstances, men still accepted it. The least women can do is to match their desire with the realities on the ground, this is Nigeria, not Netherlands. We are broke in this country. Whatever. 20 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by tochuukwu(m): 1:40am On Mar 12, 2023 |
EriMma1: It's not possible oh my brother. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by EriMma1: 1:43am On Mar 12, 2023 |
tochuukwu: Shebi na from relationship she'll turn wife. I'm not talking about a flirting girlfriend. Someone you intend to marry and the wifes too. |
Re: What Are You Doing With A Man That Can't Meet Your Needs? by Gerrard59(m): 1:44am On Mar 12, 2023 |
EriMma1: Actually, it does. I perfectly agree with you that a man must be a provider. In fact, it is better to be dead than be alive as a man who has no money. Of what use is a man without money? I have seen the disrespect men get when they have no money from their wives, wives' family members, society and even their friends. So, the rants on the first page are ignorant of how the world works. However, as much as you want a man who works and provide, you need to bring something to the table which are your feminine values and character. I find it odd for a lady to expect the top 1% man yet she is not also a top 1% lady. It is a merger of unequals. Most men, especially traditional men since you referenced men of those days, are not interested in a woman's money. At the same time, these men need you to be chaste and have high feminine values. But then, I can't blame young ladies who desire the top 1% yet are in the bottom 20% since the average Nigerian man lacks standards. If I was a Nigerian lady, I would do the same. Flirt around and do unimaginable things then turn around and get a rich man. Honestly, I hail una. The strategy has been working for donkey years, notwithstanding the alfa meil chants (most of whom are very poor). 4 Likes 1 Share |
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