lummy247:
Please, I need advice. I went through my husband's phone and I saw a message he shared with his side chick.

In the text message, the side chick was telling him to get something for her mother. He responded that he doesn't have an idea on what to buy. The lady later suggested that He should buy Provisions for her.

They talk everyday and they exchange romantic texts everyday. They even have a pet name for each other.
My husband is a Civil Engineer and some weekends he travels for 'work', I know he has gone to see her.

This relationship with the side chick is gradually affecting my marriage. I have the fear of what will happen if she gets pregnant. For him to see her mother, it shows that they are already very close. He also sends her money. I see the transactions on his Bank App.

Please I need advice, what can I do.

tell him to marry more wives than cheating on you for his own safety and yours and wait for his responses.

Kobojunkie:
If a wife is pushing him to take a concubine, shouldn't he in that case divorce her so he can be with the other woman then? In both cases, the man is a scoundrel.

Marriage isn't a death sentence.

If it isn't working make everybody find him way, amicably.

advanceDNA:


Weda she is depending or not depending... side chick is winning...

allow me play the card u women usually play by always blaming the man for ur infedility....

... " there's something she's not doing right that is pushing her man out".... she should sit him down lovingly, find out, and do the right thing to make him happy " ....

Exactly... we deserve to be happy too. How can I be providing and yet u still be giving me bs on top when I know my worth? Side chick too small sef na side poultry

IyaebeTheGreat:
Yes, I’ll stay where my love and peace is guaranteed and that is my father’s house. My brothers won’t complain either

Their wives will.

you think leaving your husband because he is cheating is the best option?

IyaebeTheGreat:
Will you agree to share wife? See it’s not even about the cheating, it’s about the commitment he’s giving outside, it’s very risky and unknowingly to the bold cheat of a husband he’s putting his wife at a very big risk at the mercy of his sidechick and her mother ( despiracy can set in for them since he’s already doing son-in-law’s duty ) . His wife is not safe but lust will not let him reason well now, some men who toed this path lost their wife in the process while leaving the kids to suffer, we are living a very risky life and I don’t expect a husband to put his family at risk for a sidechick. I can’t endure this kind of ops situation, I’ll go back home to my father’s house while I still have my life intact.

Karlifate:


💯

OP, as much as I detest your husband's actions.

Check yourself first. Human beings are always flawless, perfect & without stain in their own version of a story.

- Have you been nagging, outrightly or subtly?

- Do you still take care of your appearance, or you believe no one is looking at you again, since you're "married"?

- Are you idle, or do you contribute to the progress & well-being of the family?

- Do you encourage him & spontaneously call him and/or send text (online & offline) to him, just to show that you care about him?

- Do you speak his love language to him, or you just assume he's comfortable doing things your own way?

- Do you guys communicate comprehensively, or it's the usual Nigerian papa-mama talk?

- If you're religious, do you pray for him?


After self-introspection, you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with him, you can use this medium to tell him other areas he's been lagging behind. He's your husband & I believe he'll reason with you, if he's not yet deep in promiscuity.

You're so on point.
All married people should take stock from time to time so as to improve on their marriage

This is a fxxxxing case,,,you have to be bold to confront your man,let him know that what he's doing is not good..

Goodlady:

You mean a wife that's depending on her husband abi?
My advise, dear females, empower yourself.
Don't be a second class citizen in the house of any man. They all v tendencies to cheat. It's just that some are hiding cos of their financial ability. The first thing that enter a hustling man's head after getting rich is how to sleep with all.the girls that do him yanga before. That's the begining of badluck!
Men are scum!

Your advice won't ever be adhered? Women always look for men with money or prospects. When it doesn't work out, they start crying.

gfelo:
you think leaving your husband because he is cheating is the best option?

What is the best option? Don’t tell me to pray and endure

aestake:

Their wives will.

My brothers are going to be living their own life apart and not staying put in my father’s house.

u need to really know and study ur husband, find the emptiness he is trying to fill.

IyaebeTheGreat:
What is the best option? Don’t tell me to pray and endure

just collect his phone and block the lady first . let them start to quarrel each other

Chasito:
I'm the first born, and am just 22, I just graduated from school few months ago.
And my mum is just a secondary school teacher... There is nothing much we can do.

WTF

This is the most defeatist mindset I've come across this month.

There are people with worse circumstance than you, but they took decisive actions to change their situations.

You're young, agile & still have time: Why can't you sit down & think about what you're good at, learn the appropriate skills to improve it.

I don't know what you studied in school, but it'll do you much good to learn the practical aspects and to know the correct areas of application.

From your comments, I can deduce that you're religious & you're waiting for some 'divine' or 'mysterious' destiny helper.

Newsflash: God won't bless the works of your hands, when your hands are empty.
Besides, anything multiplied by zero is zero.

Look for internships, part-time work, volunteering works (if you study a Professional course), research & strategize on getting relevant Professional Certifications etc.


Nobody helps men in this life, expect the man helps himself.

Only women enjoy the luxury of random 'helps'.


Wise up!

gfelo:
u need to really know and study ur husband, find the emptiness he is trying to fill.

It’s no emptiness, it’s uncontrolled lust and carelessness. No man who values his family will be doing son-in-law’s duties outside. Smart men who cheat do make sure they don’t fall in love, they don’t keep sidechick for long( maximum 2weeks and they’ll dump her) . I learnt this here from franchasng. A woman knows her husband may be cheating outside but if he’s sensible enough not to let it affect his home in any way they’ll mostly overlook ( hidden truth) . The ops husband is a wicked soul

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This case has gone beyond sitting down to fold your hands, this is war but not physical one, l mean spiritual battle because for your husband's side chick mother to be involve, it means they are ready either to push you out of your matrimonial home or kill you. So this is real war, you have to engage in prayer and fasting to scatter their plan and forcefully take back your home from home breakers.. The Lord will give victory, your home will not be taking over by stranger. The might God will scatter everyone of their evil plan against your life and family. In the name of Jesus Christ.

IyaebeTheGreat:
My brothers are going to be living their own life apart and not staying put in my father’s house.

It doesn't go well. Maybe you build your own house. However if your brothers develop theirs, you are safe in there then.

aestake:

It doesn't go well. Maybe you build your own house. However if your brothers develop theirs, you are safe in there then.

How about remarrying, this is not an impossibility.

IyaebeTheGreat:
It’s no emptiness, it’s uncontrolled lust and carelessness. No man who values his family will be doing son-in-law’s duties outside. Smart men who cheat do make sure they don’t fall in love, they don’t keep sidechick for long( maximum 2weeks and they’ll dump her) . I learnt this here from franchasng. A woman knows her husband may be cheating outside but if he’s sensible enough not to let it affect his home in any way they’ll mostly overlook ( hidden truth) . The ops husband is a wicked soul

You need to hear from the man.

OP makes alot of mistake, the day u started monitoring and suspecting ur husband is the day you loose ur peace same goes for men too.

IyaebeTheGreat:
It’s no emptiness, it’s uncontrolled lust and carelessness. No man who values his family will be doing son-in-law’s duties outside. Smart men who cheat do make sure they don’t fall in love, they don’t keep sidechick for long( maximum 2weeks and they’ll dump her) . I learnt this here from franchasng. A woman knows her husband may be cheating outside but if he’s sensible enough not to let it affect his home in any way they’ll mostly overlook ( hidden truth) . The ops husband is a wicked soul

IyaebeTheGreat:
How about remarrying, this is not an impossibility.

Most men don't marry divorcée esp in ìgbo land. Or the men who would like won't make sense to the divorced woman.

aestake:

You need to hear from the man.

Nothing to justify the evil he’s doing, absolutely nothing.

IyaebeTheGreat:
Nothing to justify the evil he’s doing, absolutely nothing.

There's something to justify it.

aestake:

Most men don't marry divorcée esp in ìgbo land. Or the men who would like won't make sense to the divorced woman.

O know igbo women who remarried an Igbo man, divorced women do get married everyday. Social media is different from reality.

aestake:

There's something to justify it.

What could that be?

Goodlady:

You mean a wife that's depending on her husband abi?
My advise, dear females, empower yourself.
Don't be a second class citizen in the house of any man. They all v tendencies to cheat. It's just that some are hiding cos of their financial ability. The first thing that enter a hustling man's head after getting rich is how to sleep with all.the girls that do him yanga before. That's the begining of badluck!
Men are scum!

I just hope you'll say thesame thing when your fellow woman do exact same thing .

IyaebeTheGreat:
What could that be?

No womb, no respect or no regular anyhow sex.

There is love in sharing

Merch:
nonsense post wetin be husband wey you no fit share with side chick

gfelo:
OP makes alot of mistake, the day u started monitoring and suspecting ur husband is the day you loose ur peace same goes for men too.

Her husband wasn’t a husband anymore, he gave room for monitoring and suspicions. Somebody that might have been trapped by kanyamatta outside. Forget it he has no case

Tenrack:
cheat on him.

Haa you are a wicked soul ,how can you advice to go and cheat .
The best she can do is to monitor and pray that God put sand into the side chik soup . Don't over react we do not know your character how you behave to your husband ,family and friends . It is difficult to judge by your complaints

IyaebeTheGreat:
O know igbo women who remarried an Igbo man, divorced women do get married everyday. Social media is different from reality.

It is little compared with other tribes. The divorced woman works times 3 to get the guy to marry her.

Karlifate:


WTF

This is the most defeatist mindset I've come across this month.

There are people with worse circumstance than you, but they took decisive actions to change their situations.

You're young, agile & still have time: Why can't you sit down & think about what you're good at, learn the appropriate skills to improve it.

I don't know what you studied in school, but it'll do you much good to learn the practical aspects and to know the correct areas of application.

From your comments, I can deduce that you're religious & you're waiting for some 'divine' or 'mysterious' destiny helper.

Newsflash: God won't bless the works of your hands, when your hands are empty.
Besides, anything multiplied by zero is zero.

Look for internships, part-time work, volunteering works (if you study a Professional course), research & strategize on getting relevant Professional Certifications etc.


Nobody helps men in this life, expect the man helps himself.

Only women enjoy the luxury of random 'helps'.


Wise up!

I help him out in his shop, and I live In Adamawa state, it is not a developed place like Lagos, or PH.
I'm just waiting for NYSC Batch B, so that I will get posted somewhere, then I will find something to do.