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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice (55367 Views)
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Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by cedricksly: 8:02am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Neweramify:remorse or not, the damage has been done already... It is a very simple something, he mom should go stay with her older Siblings while the wife sends her money for upkeep, life no hard, Afterall marriage is between husband wife and no 3rd party |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by HaneefahRN(f): 8:02am On Mar 30, 2023 |
What goes around comes around. She did not want her MIL around but wants her mum around now under same circumstances. She no even get conscience to get mouth to say it knowing what she had done in the past. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by richcode: 8:04am On Mar 30, 2023 |
The moment you allowed are mother to stay, the journey of your life is question. Guy don't allow the mother to stay they have first born as well ooo. No gree |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by cedricksly: 8:05am On Mar 30, 2023 |
ozalogbo:maybe u forgot very fast that marriage is between a man and wife and not between a man and wife and any of their parent, when you allow her live under your roof, just know your mother will turn in her grave and you automatically has carried a curse.... Let her mother stay in her house and she pays someone to be taking care of her.thats if she can't stay with her older Siblings... Don't be a coward alright, you wife set the rules and not you. |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by purples25(f): 8:06am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Some mother in laws want to prove to the wife that they are the first love of their son. Some sons also want only their mom in top position, while wife's relatives have no strong hand or say. It's not just a woman's thing. Omo. |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by ifygod20(m): 8:07am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Pls don't allow hervto bring in her mom into ur house coz what goes around comes around |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Joshcoli(m): 8:08am On Mar 30, 2023 |
I had a similar experience where I wanted to bring my cousin to live with us, but my wife objected. Despite her objections, I brought my cousin to stay with us and he was a hardworking and diligent person who even helped my children with their reading habits. However, my wife still disliked him and gave him numerous errands to do, even going as far as to prohibit him from using the washing machine. I had to intervene and insist that he should be allowed to use the machine, but my wife became angry with me. Eventually, I had to send my cousin back to the village after almost two years of living with us. Later, when my wife's brother needed a place to stay, she tried to guilt me into letting him stay with us, but I refused and warned her not to try to bring anyone else into our home. I told her to do the work herself since she had let her dislike of my cousin blind her to the good work he was doing for us. In the end, I walked away from the situation. In conclusion, I suggest that the person who posted the original message should stand their ground and not allow their wife to bring in her mother after rejecting their mother. They should not feel bad about their mother's death, as death is a natural part of life. They should treat their wife in the same way that she treated them and not feel any remorse about it. |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Viridis(m): 8:08am On Mar 30, 2023 |
ozalogbo:Bro I am so sad after reading this your post after remembering how my own mother can do anything for me. If ever I become rich, have a house and married a visitor to be my wife and my mother is sick. If I bring her to the house and my wife disapprove, I won't even think twice before choosing my mother over her. Bro you sent your mother home to die in loneliness just because your wife disapproved. Remember you built or rented the house by your self after you started doing well financially because your mother saw you through the university. I don't want to write epistle for you. You be fool. I have no advice for you just anger. Divorce that woman that will be your penlace for killing your mother 1 Like |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by GetMeRight: 8:11am On Mar 30, 2023 |
donaldchidi: He's right, not all parents are troublesome. And the man must know how to be in charge and not like the s!mp we have here as Op. 11 years and counting that my wife and my mother had been living together |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Viridis(m): 8:11am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Neweramify:Fear of unknown from a sick old woman. Then the OP should also fear the unknown from her own mother. If I call you mumu now they will say I am rude |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by OfficialAPCNig: 8:11am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Why would you even send your mum away because of your wife. You are fool. You'll be a bigger fool if you allow her mum to stay in your place |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by purples25(f): 8:14am On Mar 30, 2023 |
shantti: Let me tell you something. When your wife's mother comes, you are able to step out and leave her in the house and escape her if she is troublesome, right? She can't interfere in your workplace or with your leisure time, right? As for your wife, your mom will be able to enter her back to back. How? She will poke into kitchen affairs which your wife handles. She will poke into house and kids affairs, which your wife handles also. Wherever your wife moves and whatever she does, she will watch and complain. Wives are the ones more likely to be at home - if she sees your wife using her phone, resting or otherwise, she will say she is lazy. Everything, she will chook hand. Unlike you, who will be left alone cuz you are a man. Father in laws don't poke themselves into affairs like mother in laws do. They don't struggle for affection of their kids with the spouse like mother in laws do. How many times do you see father in laws coming to live in the house, struggling with the son to be holding the most power over their child. Never. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by GetMeRight: 8:15am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Joshcoli: Op: Their! Their!! Their!!! That's for non binary gender. Op is he, not their. |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by drnoel: 8:18am On Mar 30, 2023 |
ozalogbo: Two wrongs don't make a right. Never extend actions of another person unto the next person. Handle everyone's action individually. It's not about you but your children and Ur MIL |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by GetMeRight: 8:18am On Mar 30, 2023 |
purples25: Aunty didn't even address the issue at hand. Aunty was saying something completely different |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by rezky(m): 8:18am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Never! I will not allow her Mum new my house., she should go and take care of her mum and come back when her she's done. She can't eat her cake and have it...Rubbish! |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by abdabass: 8:18am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Please, my brother, follow your friend's advise. In addition, see her as your mother too and find a way to accommodate her. Meanwhile, I will want you to note one thing; you may ended up mediating between the two of them in future, when she may not be able to tolerate her at the end. |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by purples25(f): 8:19am On Mar 30, 2023 |
GetMeRight: Na so o. The issue made me think of something. Its a chat forum o, say your own. |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by jagaban002(m): 8:20am On Mar 30, 2023 |
elijah101:This one no get sense nah and always sentimental with her comment. |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by jagaban002(m): 8:22am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Eserise1: Your comment is very stupid sir . |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by rollywise(m): 8:23am On Mar 30, 2023 |
ozalogbo: Sit her down and remind her what she said she how she behaved when your mum came around. Even let her know your mum not staying with you at her feeble age contributed to her death. See her reaction. It will determine if you will allow her mum come over. Need I remind you that peace in marriage should be pursued by both parties, not just one. If eventually she shows remorse, then let her mother come stay. A day after she comes, call a meeting between the three of you including her mum and let her mother know how the daughter treated your mum whenever she came around. Let her mother know you don't have her daughter's kinda heart so you'll allow her stay peacefully. This is necessary so that she will know she's privileged to be staying with you and not begin to cause troubles. My humble take. |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by eteebanky1: 8:26am On Mar 30, 2023 |
You're a bastard for pushing your mom away when she needed you the most It is obvious she is lonely and needs to live with you and constantly play with her grandchildren, that would have prolonged her life. But she eventually died due to loneliness, thunder go fire you...... I'll never forgive you if I happen to be one of your siblings
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Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by solexybaba(m): 8:28am On Mar 30, 2023 |
OlawaleBammie:u r also a fool 4 ur approach. U r uncivilized n very ill tutored. U r not matured 2 b admitted in2 ds forum. Cow |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by NaBanga: 8:30am On Mar 30, 2023 |
eyinjuege: Bringing a maid into the home would have caused further confusion in their marriage. The wife would have felt the husband was getting too close to the maid, because of his mother. It would have bred insecurities that were not there before. Having his wife care for his mother would have put a lot of stress on the wife, who was likely caring for young children at that time. By this point in caring for her own mother, his wife would have been like a broke down horse. Would I personally let her bring her mother into our home, maybe. However if it began to cause stress I would help her find a maid and a place nearby to house her mother. What he should have done was to rent a place nearby to house the mother and the maid. In that way, he and his family could have visited his mother regularly to make sure she was being well managed. His wife is likely in a better position to care for her own mother due to her children's ages. In addition, it is her mother and she is taking on the responsibility. The husband would not have been in the position of taking care of his mother. It would have always been on the wife to do so, even with a maid helping. |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Justbehave(m): 8:30am On Mar 30, 2023 |
purples25:May you never grow to be a mother in law. Wicked soul. When we call most of you women fish brain it's because of your type. |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Nobody: 8:32am On Mar 30, 2023 |
So when a person doesn't understands you it means he or she is dump? Wow! Interesting. Last time I checked, it takes a dump person to identify another one. But anyway, let me go do my job as a lawyer, so that I can receive my achievement at the end of the month, which is today of course..πππ iInjureHerYansh: |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by OlawaleBammie: 8:35am On Mar 30, 2023 |
solexybaba:Ahaa ImbecΔ«l3 I did even refer to anybody na...not even the op. Didirin why are u so pained? Eranko arindin why are u attacking me laidis na Monki can't u see I just delivered a life lessons ni?? Oohh this kao just wounded my emotions Just because u re living with wild animers doesn't mean u should talk like animers na |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by purples25(f): 8:35am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Justbehave: Easy for you to say as you are not the one whose relative will be poking hands into your eyes. You care less as the man. Anyway, my theory only applies to interfering and troublesome mother in laws. You can be emotional or you can get it. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by ojun50(m): 8:36am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Slurity: My problem here is, people who are not married and family oriented will be giving advice to married couples. If you want a peaceful home don't pay evil for evil |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by iInjureHerYansh: 8:38am On Mar 30, 2023 |
Samantha124:You just proved me 100% right @emboldened. Dump really?π Shame on whoever made you a lawyer |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Nobody: 8:44am On Mar 30, 2023 |
We all make mistakes at the end of the day and I take full accountability for my own mistakes and I'm not even ashamed of it. You can call me dumb all you like, but what matters is that I'm getting my achievement for my hard work while you see receiving social media likes as an achievement. Anyway, good luck receiving your likes. iInjureHerYansh: |
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Justbehave(m): 8:47am On Mar 30, 2023 |
purples25:That's why I said that God should never allow to grow to be a mother in-law because you will be among the troublesome mil. Just say amen to my prayers. |
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