PDJT:


-You think we are all kids here. .

-Mr. OP this is your chance to restore order in your home and life. Go and marry another younger wife (18 - 25 years) for your sanity and old age. DM me if you need any assistance. A woman of over 33 is already becoming a Mother Hen. Let her enter street, men of the street can't wait to welcome her.
-Look after yourself man, and be very selfish about it.

Marrying a new wife wont address his issue, the same 18-25 yr old will mature and find him unromantic

Women from 33 and above tend to be more self aware and confident of who they have became hence this guy's wife have come out open to tell hubby of his shortcomings

virginprincess:
Instead of you to look for a way to pls her by being romantic you are here complaining to bitter nairaland men that will gladly help you scatter your marriage with their negative comments.

Sometimes comments here are the truth

snthesis:
Got a shocker recently, my wife suddenly says i am not romantic after 10years of marriage and having 3 children... should i be worried
we got married young and she now in her early 30s

p.s
she now wants to get a tattoo, piercing. waistbeads and wear leg chain

If she's not doing so already, which I highly doubt, she's receiving a generous dose of outside gbola, plus an overdose of sweet praises and presents. My brother, brace your heart for what is to come.

virginprincess:
Instead of you to look for a way to pls her by being romantic you are here complaining to bitter nairaland men that will gladly help you scatter your marriage with their negative comments.

The marriage has scattered madam, she wants leg chain, and other crap like she just got to lagos, she wants to flex now.

snthesis:
Got a shocker recently, my wife suddenly says i am not romantic after 10years of marriage and having 3 children... should i be worried
we got married young and she now in her early 30s

p.s
she now wants to get a tattoo, piercing. waistbeads and wear leg chain

She is done serving you, now want to do graduation and open a sophisticated Olosho Arena.

Wawu after 3 kids she now want to be stupid you better talk to her and invite her family to talk sense into her. When as an adult you should be getting more maturity!?

snthesis:
■ well noted, my point is how can she suddenly just say this and every other thing she's planning to do...

She didn't wake up one morning with a head filled with what she said. I bet you it has been on her mind probably for months, even years, but felt it is now or never.

just2endowed:


All this for a woman? What marriage vows?

She's the mother of his kids. They built a life together.
If done frequently, it should not be seen as chore .
Is this easier than dealing with the alternative ?

harmony75:
Wawu after 3 kids she now want to be stupid you better talk to her and invite her family to talk sense into her. When as an adult you should be getting more maturity!?

Really, do you really need to invite her family for a simple thing like this ?

1 why always call family when you can directly talk to hubby or wife? lets be wise to be able to sort problems before anyone

2 the maturity is that she has talk directly of areas hubby next to improve

3 lets not be biased by gender hubby can say the same eg wife wearing those fully covering dress that hides the curves of a woman, wife can nolonget look sexy in those clothes hubby can say the same to wife to dress better

ZIMDRILL:


Marrying a new wife wont address his issue, the same 18-25 yr old will mature and find him unromantic

Women from 33 and above tend to be more self aware and confident of who they have became hence this guy's wife have come out open to tell hubby of his shortcomings

-I don't care what women over 33 years do with their lives. I care about my fellow man's dignity and respect. He must protect himself going forward. His supposed wife has being made too comfortable as all her needs have been meant by OP and now she is unto her "I want this, I want that state. So OP should let her enter street as soon as possible. She must collect from the street.

-There are loads of younger women (18 - 25 years) out there whose needs OP can meet at this difficult time. And OP will be better off for it. When a woman is done, she is done. You must let her fly the nest to go explore the other side of the divide and taste the street waters.

-So, I say Mr. OP; please take this opportunity with both hands and run with it. Go and marry another woman for your mental and physical health. Because if you fall for the gimmick of that your so-called wife, then you are gone forever. Bring back order to your life and don't let feminine chaos rule over you. Like I said earlier, if you need further assistance my DM is always open.

But what made her to move on mentally in the first place?

Let's start from there.

Olu1000:


It has nothing to do with him.The woman has moved on mentally.He has to accept it and move on mentally too.If he tries to please her , that will be his biggest mistake.

PDJT:


-I don't care what women over 33 years do with their lives. I care about my fellow man's dignity and respect. He must protect himself going forward. His supposed wife has being made too comfortable as all her needs have been meant by OP and now she is unto her "I want this, I want that state. So OP should let her enter street as soon as possible. She must collect from the street.

-There are loads of younger women (18 - 25 years) out there whose needs OP can meet at this difficult time. And OP will be better off for it. When a woman is done, she is done. You must let her fly the nest to go explore the other side of the divide and taste the street waters.

-So, I say Mr. OP; please take this opportunity with both hands and run with it. Go and marry another woman for your mental and physical health. Because if you fall for the gimmick of that your so-called wife, then you are gone forever. Bring back order to your life and don't let feminine chaos rule over you. Like I said earlier, if you need further assistance my DM is always open.

remember we are just sharing our point of views as individual, to you that how you solve that issue, to me i got a different approach

like i said getting a new wife, wont solve hiis issue if he is really unromantic

He needs a self reflection eg by asking wife the specific thats the wife view as not being romantic and he reflects on it and
see if he willing to change

in simple terms both can chat on things that each other think are lacking each other's sife

Gamesmart:


You want him to tell her she is putting on weight?

How do you think that will go down with her?

If he told her that, and she comes to NL to ask for advice, will majority of you women also be saying she needs to ask him what weight he would like her to be? Or you women would be telling her "he is a bastard" for commenting on her weight when she has given him 3 kids?

And who told you is all women who has given birth that have unhealthy weight gain?

She might also be doing anything else asides adding unnecessary weight. Moreover, don't most Nigerian men like women who are fleshy, rather than skin and bones?

You get time ?you better focus on other important things ,....leave woman with their funny ways of reasoning

rickleye:


Haha, it’s called midlife crisis.

Just tell her she is right and start the dating process again.
Many of us think our wives are like our mothers . Marry and keep for home. The game is changing bro. I am sure she has a friend on WhatsApp with whom she has discussed this with already.

1. Plan a date nite every week . Go catch a flick and have someone watch the kids.
2. Do something together with the family once a month. Go to Olumo Rock and Beach . A family outing .
3. Don’t forget her birthday make it exciting ( get her flowers or money - depending on her love language)
4. Make an effort to show PDA infront of the kids. Steal a kiss 💋, slap her buttocks , call her sexy mamacita or siren.
5. Make sex impromptu. After coitus , ask would like a glass of water or wine to relax ( she will laugh and say , thank you yes or no )
6. If you are just Spooning dude , change into missionary or doggy . ( now sex and love are not the same) . Massage and ask her where she may want to be touched to excite her …

Make the effort !!! You might not be comfortable doing any of the above but as you mentioned it appears she never “ lived “ done anything she wanted to do . Her first born is 10.
And it’s been mummy this , mummy that !

I would give her the leg chain *

Don’t ignore her warnings or else someone else will fill the void.

Rokiat:
Maybe you are actually not romantic but you can change that if you want.

Just a simple
Question, if I was to ask you what your wife love language was do you know it?


Now for your wife, wanting to get a tattoo etc just have a talk with her if that is something you are against.

Also ask her what she means by you not being romantic. Ask her what are things she considered romantic and start implementing those in your relationship. People make relationship harder than it is really.

There was no need to even come online with this, you could have simply have a conversation with her and fix things but your male ego got hurt because she called you unromantic so now you came online and highlight some bad things she’s considering doing just so we can now bad mouth her for those and deflect the attention from on you thereby stroking your own ego.


That is not how marriage work my gee you have to put your ego aside if you want to make it work.


Many people married young when they have no clue even what marriage is all about and what they even really want and then enter their 30s and start questioning all their decisions.


Because the 30s
Is when you truly know who you are and what you really want.

Good advice and long stories at the same time. But the truth is that, if she is determined to explore and see what is outside her marriage, no romantic gestures from her husband can stop her.
Telling her husband that he's not romantic is just an excuse to do what is on her mind. We can't ignore the fact that she married very early and we all know the possible outcome of this for women.
At the same time, we can't ignore the effects of social media and the kinds of people and things she might be exposing to online.
She wants piercings (could it be nose, ears or somewhere more private?), tattoos, leg chains, waist beads! Is all these new cravings is as a result of the husband not being romantic too?

snthesis:
Got a shocker recently, my wife suddenly says i am not romantic after 10years of marriage and having 3 children... should i be worried
we got married young and she now in her early 30s

p.s
she now wants to get a tattoo, piercing. waistbeads and wear leg chain

Congratulations

snthesis:
Got a shocker recently, my wife suddenly says i am not romantic after 10years of marriage and having 3 children... should i be worried
we got married young and she now in her early 30s

p.s
she now wants to get a tattoo, piercing. waistbeads and wear leg chain

To make it easier can you tell us what you have done to your wife which is romantic in your own world of being romantic

Lets take away dates that are on the calendar becoz you can be easily forced to remember them and do something

i want something you did with your own will, love, affection, and appretition of your wife

ZIMDRILL:


remember we are just sharing our point of views as individual, to you that how you solve that issue, to me i got a different approach

like i said getting a new wife, wont solve hiis issue if he is really unromantic

He needs a self reflection eg by asking wife the specific thats the wife view as not being romantic and he reflects on it and
see if he willing to change

in simple terms both can chat on things that each other think are lacking each other's sife

-You think you can satisfy a woman like that? Good luck. Abeg, there is someone for everyone. Assuming OP is not romantic, there are many women out there who are not looking for a romantic man. OP should go for them and save himself from future mental and physical health challenges. After 10 years of marriage, the supposed-wife suddenly realised her hubby is not romantic. Smh.

-Please, Mr. OP this is your golden opportunity to avoid untimely death. No man deserve a whinging woman at home. Your home should be a place of refuge and peace for yourself. Please, let that woman go as soon as possible.

ZIMDRILL:


remember we are just sharing our point of views as individual, to you that how you solve that issue, to me i got a different approach

like i said getting a new wife, wont solve hiis issue if he is really unromantic

He needs a self reflection eg by asking wife the specific thats the wife view as not being romantic and he reflects on it and
see if he willing to change

in simple terms both can chat on things that each other think are lacking each other's sife

Telling her husband that he's not romantic after 10 years of marriage! As if that's not enough, now she wants to pierce, get ankle chains, get tattoos and so on. How does these things related to her husband not being romantic?

JustcallmeFavou:


And who told you is all women who has given birth that have unhealthy weight gain?

She might also be doing anything else asides adding unnecessary weight. Moreover, don't most Nigerian men like women who are fleshy, rather than skin and bones?

Is there anywhere I said all women who has given birth that have unhealthy weight gain?

The reality is that most Nigerian women do.

Romantic gestures are mostly subconscious, spontaneous and spurred from a man being in lust. So, if he has stopped doing it and it is because she is not looking good enough to lust after her anymore, should he be telling her that?

And would you be telling her that she needs to ask him what weight loss level he wants? Or you would be hissing under your breath and saying he is a bastard that does not appreciate his wife.

Secondly, don't present me with false binary. Please qualify "flesh".

Nigerian men like women with flesh, does not mean Nigerian men like women with fat or flab.

Nigerian men like women with reasonable flesh that are highly shapely. That is why many Nigerian girls are doing surgery to attain these.

Nigerian men don't want obese and wobbly.

Nigerian men tend to get slimmer girls as side chics when theirs wives have "flesh" that is obese, shapeless and wobbly.

ZIMDRILL:


Really, do you really need to invite her family for a simple thing like this ?

1 why always call family when you can directly talk to hubby or wife? lets be wise to be able to sort problems before anyone

2 the maturity is that she has talk directly of areas hubby next to improve

3 lets not be biased by gender hubby can say the same eg wife wearing those fully covering dress that hides the curves of a woman, wife can nolonget look sexy in those clothes hubby can say the same to wife to dress better

The way this issue is going, it is not simple anymore. The relationship might be heading towards the rock going by what want the wife is saying and wants

snthesis:


hmmm, i'm thinking of going through her phone, something is not right

Please do it asap

check her friends, someone is misleading her..

GetMeRight:


Telling her husband that he's not romantic after 10 years of marriage! As if that's not enough, now she wants to pierce, get ankle chains, get tattoos and so on. How does these things related to her husband not being romantic?

why worry about things that havent happened, than focus on things thats have been said

Time doesnt matter 10 years or not, definately she has been either putting up with it or may be busy making hubby happy than also focusing on her own needs

Have every heard of women pretending, eg faking orgasm ? its becoz they put up with it

Do you realise that the first 5 years of marriage, is run by what one really wished (dream marriage) for before they got married than actually understanding your wife/hubby

You would be wanting your wife/hubby to be the perfect hubby/wife you have in your heard as time goes by to start to learn who your wife/hubby is really is

Thats the reason sometime husbands fight with wives, or vice versa each partner is saying my wife should be like this/my hubby should be like this, we tend to like to change them for the person we have in our minds than accepting who they really are

Samantha124:
Maybe you used money to woo her, isn't that how you Nigerian guys woo ladies? By using money?

She might've fallen for it hoping that you're this romantic guy, only to find out that you're not.
B

The last time I checked, that's the only language many Nigerian ladies understand. We have seen how you guys responded to men who try to date you but lack money.
Go and ask random dudes out there who don't have money how their relationship life with their girlfriends is? It is rejection after rejection. You too would have seen it on Facebook week in, week out how your gender see relationship with men.

ZIMDRILL:


why worry about things that havent happened, than focus on things thats have been said

Time doesnt matter 10 years or not, definately she has been either putting up with it or may be busy making hubby happy than also focusing on her own needs

Have every heard of women pretending, eg faking orgasm ? its becoz they put up with it

Do you realise that the first 5 years of marriage, is run by what one really wished (dream marriage) for before they got married than actually understanding your wife/hubby

You would be wanting your wife/hubby to be the perfect hubby/wife you have in your heard as time goes by to start to learn who your wife/hubby is really is

Thats the reason sometime husbands fight with wives, or vice versa each partner is saying my wife should be like this/my hubby should be like this, we tend to like to change them for the person we have in our minds than accepting who they really are

Three kids in this Nigerian economy with two adults to feed and cater for, but the issue is the husband not being romantic? Lol.
Must we kill ourselves to make someone happy? Someone who is just looking for a flimsy excuse to do what she's determined to do!
BTW: why ignoring? Something is fueling that cravings, right? But we must pretend like it is not there? Okay.

GetMeRight:


The this issue is going, it is not simple anymore. The relationship might be heading towards the rock going by want the wife is saying and wants

The wife wants him to be romantic period and nothing more, of cause i understand that our brothers ego might have been bruised, but this is were he needs his own reflection on how he has been really romantic both in his own defination and wife's

If i was him i would ask wife how she wants him to be romantic very simple in my own world

GetMeRight:
■ Three kids in this Nigerian economy with two adults to feed and cater for, but the issue is the husband not being romantic? Lol. Must we kill ourselves to make someone happy? Someone who is just looking for a flimsy excuse to do what she's determined to do! BTW: why ignoring? Something is fueling that cravings, right? But we must pretend like it is not there? Okay.

1. Whether you have kids or not, you still need to work on your marriage which is an agreement between the husband and the wife. Having kids does not give you a free pass as far as working on your marriage relationship. This we all know to be the truth whether it is the man complaining or the woman complaining.

Ah ah!!! Don't say you guys because where I'm from our men encourage us to make our own legit money.

You guys are the ones who corrupted your women by making them believe that there's no love without money, and you still try to do the same thing when you travel to other countries.

You Nigerian men are your own problem, but your ego won't let you see it.

I've seen a good number of unemployed men or men with low paying jobs building families with women who have good paying jobs.

GetMeRight:


The last time I checked, that's the only language many Nigerian ladies understand. We have seen how you guys responded to men who try to date you but lack money.
Go and ask random dudes out there who don't have money how their relationship life with their girlfriends is? It is rejection after rejection. You too would have seen it on Facebook week in, week out how your gender see relationship with men.

GetMeRight:


Three kids in this Nigerian economy with two adults to feed and cater for, but the issue is the husband not being romantic? Lol.
Must we kill ourselves to make someone happy? Someone who is just looking for a flimsy excuse to do what she's determined to do!
BTW: why ignoring? Something is fueling that cravings, right? But we must pretend like it is not there? Okay.

why are rushing to say "must we kill ourseves to make someone happy"

in this case, one should reflect on what they have done or tried in their own capacity and if questioned they point at what they have done

Hubby didnt disclose what he has dobe romatically for past 10 years so we can not full say hubby is wrong what if done what he thinks is being romantic while wife doesnt see it that way

Eg hubby buys flowers, while wife wants spend a night in a hotel with a good meal

Ayopercent:

Sope oti lo😂

Geovanni412:

Run DNA test for ya children.

I get sth we wan check - the transformation is too sudden.

But I dey fear you guys on Nairaland o. Most comments would make you laugh because it look like jokes or comedies but there is always elements of truth in it.

Samantha124:
Ah ah!!! Don't say you guys because where I'm from our men encourage us to make our own legit money.

You guys are the ones who corrupted your women by making them believe that there's no love without money, and you still try to do the same thing when you travel to other countries.

You Nigerian men are your own problem, but your ego won't let you see it.

Okay, you're not in Nigeria. But wherever you are, it is not your men encouraging you to make your own money, it is the culture and mentality. You don't have options than to work for your own money. Here in Nigeria, the culture and mentality of our ladies is totally different.

I've seen a good number of unemployed men or men with low paying jobs building families with women who have good paying jobs .

I'm not sure you are referring to Nigeria situation. But if you are, there are few exceptions to every rule. An average Nigerian guy without loaded pockets is prone to a series of rejection. We have all been there.