Good evening nairalanders
Please I need advice,I have been going through emotional and psychological trauma at the hands of my mum,neglect my mistakes please.
I finished school last two years and went for service after service,I came back home to try and get a job but couldn't. After trying for months without success,I decided to try on this jobs that pay low like pos,barman,security,etc. Luckily for me I got one that requires selling travelling bag. I started it even though the pay was small. When I told my mum about it,she asked about the pay and I told her,she said I should quit it. I told her I can't since I don't have any other job,she started insulting me that how will a graduate be collecting 25k. I told her it is just for the mean time that something better will come out. She insulted me and called my elder siblings and they too insulted me. Note before I got this job,I was facing insults from every corner bcus I was jobless,then I didn't have 100# to buy card and If I ask my mum she will insult the living out of me. I have lost count of the times she called me a corpse.
So I started working and I started using salary to do some biz and I was able to to raise good money from last year till now.
I had to stop work because it was stressful and I didn't have time for other things. So for about two months I don't go to work. I started learning python,Forex and video editing. I dedicate some hours to each of them everyday. My mum started complaining that I should go and find work that how would I stay at home from morning till night,I explained to her that I am looking at the future,skills I can learn that will be beneficial to me later in life and not stressing myself for 25k. She started complaining,telling me that my mates are riding cars, building house and getting married. I told her that I will achieve all this soon. Recently my relative who is 2years younger than me,a guy of 21 bought an expensive bike and decorated his apartment,my mum will always compare me to him . She will say he is ambitious and I am not. This guy is into fraud and she knows it.
Something happened recently that has kept me indoors and I don't know if I can ever go out because of shame. My mom came back from work and started shouting loudly(she always does that so everyone around will hear) that I don't work and she is tired of feeding me(I feed myself and sometimes buy foodstuff for the house). That I am lazy,that I sit around the house doing nothing,that I should pack my things and go. That I must leave the house. I came to her and was trying to calm her,she said I should stop telling her to keep quiet.i went to my room and started playing gospel song,she came in and started shouting that I am playing song for her,that I should go to my own house. I have been ashamed and can't even leave the house because everybody heard all she was saying. Nobody knows what I am passing through bcus I hardly discuss with people. I am an Introvert.
It is only God that has kept me going,I have begged my mum to just give me latest July I would have gotten enough money to leave. It hasn't been easy, I have thought of taking my life because the shame is too much. I cant walk with my head up. She lies and gossips about me to our neighbours. I don't know what I did to her to be getting all this. Most times I just stay and shed tears. I just need prayers from you guys. Please pray for me,all this would soon end by God's grace.

This too shall pass. Tough times dont last but tough people do. God will visit you soon in Jesus name. Amen

The skills you are trying to acquire are very valuable and will help you in the future.

Stay strong and stay focus, God will surely see you through

For no reason should you ever think of taking ur own life never no matter the situation, and I don't see any reason why you should be ashamed because your mom is insulting you loudly, try everything within your power to get ur own apartment, so that you can focus on what you intend to achieve in life, the Lord is your strength bro.

I'm sorry for all you've passed thru. I know how hard it is for fresh graduates there and I know what they face back at home.

My advice for you is to disappear for a while. All your mom needs is space. You can travel to see some family members and friends outside the town and from there lookout for something better.

Anyway, would you mind if I sent you an email?

WhereMyLoud:
This too shall pass. Tough times dont last but tough people do. God will visit you soon in Jesus name. Amen

The skills you are trying to acquire are very valuable and will help you in the future.

Thank you very much. I know God will do more,he has started already,by his grace I will overcome and I will tell it as a story one day.

eTen94:
Stay strong and stay focus, God will surely see you through

Thanks

RoadMozart:
I'm sorry for all you've passed thru. I know how hard it is for fresh graduates there and I know what they face back at home.

My advice for you is to disappear for a while. All your mom needs is space. You can travel to see some family members and friends outside the town and from there lookout for something better.

Anyway, would you mind if I sent you an email?

I would soon disappear,and I will be gone from her life forever,what I have seen at the hands of my mom,my enemies won't show me. I couldn't state all my experience in order not to make it long. I remember then when I had no work,she uses food to punish me,maybe if there is plate to wash,I have a young bro that is suppose to do that o,she would punish me for it. I would go to bed hungry. By the grace of God I would complete the money for rent by next month.
You can send the mail

Bro, You are a man!
Listen and listen very good, whatsoever situation you find yourself that crumbles or diminish your self esteem or reputation should be fought against.

Do not be draged down by situations, rather it should be seen as a tool for motivation.

There is limit to what people can do in your life. By people I mean family & friends.

Leave her house and Chase a life. and please note you are still on a wrong track.

You can't acquire does skills at once with the way you are planning to learn it, rather focus on one.

Believe me they are all lucrative.
Choose one of the skills, find a mentor, learn from him, be an expert, build a name and a brand..

Then enjoy...

Is she your biological parent and how about your dad?

GeneraVieve:

Thank you very much. I know God will do more,he has started already,by his grace I will overcome and I will tell it as a story one day.

Where is your dad?

Anything that would make u not to see heaven, cut it off... including your mother..

N:B:- I would also do the same..

Aigbedion141:
Bro, You are a man!
Listen and listen very good, whatsoever situation you find yourself that crumbles or diminish your self esteem or reputation should be fought against.

Do not be draged down by situations, rather it should be seen as a tool for motivation.

There is limit to what people can do in your life. By people I mean family & friends.

Leave her house and Chase a life. and please note you are still on a wrong track.

You can't acquire does skills at once with the way you are planning to learn it, rather focus on one.

Believe me they are all lucrative.
Choose one of the skills, find a mentor, learn from him, be an expert, build a name and a brand..

Then enjoy...

Thanks for the motivating words and your suggestion,I think I will focus on python now,then learn video editing later. Thanks once again.

Ofemmanu1:


Where is your dad?

He died four years ago

GeneraVieve:
He died four years ago

Are you a Capricorn?

Ofemmanu1:


Are you a Capricorn?

I don't get you

Why is this in crime section

You're making a terrible mistake trying to learn 3 tough skills at the same time.

Examine your proclivities, select the skill that best suits YOU, then dig in.

Dedicate one whole year to become a master in it.

Get menial jobs, cashier, bricklayer etc to survive the year.

I promise you... by the time you focus for a year, the speed with which you will climb the labour market will shock even your enemies.

Reread all I have written and start now.

Ofemmanu1:


Are you a Capricorn?

this question is strong abeg I am a Capricorn and I can relate with OP so why did you ask abeg ... I need to check sontin... Becasue e be like Capricorn come collect gbas gbos for woman hand.

Op focus, no let another person talk scatter road for your eyes .... FOCUS!!!! When e pure your mama go carry your talk go AIT dey sing your praise... FOCUS!!

You need focus but she's not reasonable at all. If you would take my advice, get your own apartment no matter how cheap and poor it is and pack into it. There will be your interim heaven. Maintain communications with your mom but make sure that in the next 4 years, she never sets eyes on you. Then thank me later.

GeneraVieve:
Good evening nairalanders
Please I need advice,I have been going through emotional and psychological trauma at the hands of

I really felt for you reading this. I can tell it is authentic, not all these stories people make up here.
I want you to bear this in mind: every great person goes through a period like this. You also go through a period when someone or circumstances or shame will try to throw you off a path you know in your mind is your path to success. It is your defining moment. Your mum means well - she wants to nag you into taking risks, into doing something big. But it is people like her that cause people to carry drugs or such and end up in jail. Use her nagging as motivating fuel, but also guard against people like her. Maybe NLFPMod will move to FP for more advice.

She doesn't know she is pushing you into a suicide mission by her demoralising insult.By the time you take your own life,she will be the one to cry a lot.This can of insult fit make me jump inside third mainland bridge dirty river.


Nigerian politicians don't have the means to provide enabling environment for job creation.But they have the means to deal with jobless youth who turns to criminals.

The sweetest victory is the one that comes after the strongest battle...hang on bro, your testimony is just by the corner. Pin this! 📌

GeneraVieve:
Good evening nairalanders
Please I need advice,I have been going through emotional and psychological trauma at the hands of my mum,neglect my mistakes please.
I finished school last two years and went for service after service,I came back home to try and get a job but couldn't. After trying for months without success,I decided to try on this jobs that pay low like pos,barman,security,etc. Luckily for me I got one that requires selling travelling bag. I started it even though the pay was small. When I told my mum about it,she asked about the pay and I told her,she said I should quit it. I told her I can't since I don't have any other job,she started insulting me that how will a graduate be collecting 25k. I told her it is just for the mean time that something better will come out. She insulted me and called my elder siblings and they too insulted me. Note before I got this job,I was facing insults from every corner bcus I was jobless,then I didn't have 100# to buy card and If I ask my mum she will insult the living out of me. I have lost count of the times she called me a corpse.
So I started working and I started using salary to do some biz and I was able to to raise good money from last year till now.
I had to stop work because it was stressful and I didn't have time for other things. So for about two months I don't go to work. I started learning python,Forex and video editing. I dedicate some hours to each of them everyday. My mum started complaining that I should go and find work that how would I stay at home from morning till night,I explained to her that I am looking at the future,skills I can learn that will be beneficial to me later in life and not stressing myself for 25k. She started complaining,telling me that my mates are riding cars, building house and getting married. I told her that I will achieve all this soon. Recently my relative who is 2years younger than me,a guy of 21 bought an expensive bike and decorated his apartment,my mum will always compare me to him . She will say he is ambitious and I am not. This guy is into fraud and she knows it.
Something happened recently that has kept me indoors and I don't know if I can ever go out because of shame. My mom came back from work and started shouting loudly(she always does that so everyone around will hear) that I don't work and she is tired of feeding me(I feed myself and sometimes buy foodstuff for the house). That I am lazy,that I sit around the house doing nothing,that I should pack my things and go. That I must leave the house. I came to her and was trying to calm her,she said I should stop telling her to keep quiet.i went to my room and started playing gospel song,she came in and started shouting that I am playing song for her,that I should go to my own house. I have been ashamed and can't even leave the house because everybody heard all she was saying. Nobody knows what I am passing through bcus I hardly discuss with people. I am an Introvert.
It is only God that has kept me going,I have begged my mum to just give me latest July I would have gotten enough money to leave. It hasn't been easy, I have thought of taking my life because the shame is too much. I cant walk with my head up. She lies and gossips about me to our neighbours. I don't know what I did to her to be getting all this. Most times I just stay and shed tears. I just need prayers from you guys. Please pray for me,all this would soon end by God's grace.

Your only mistake was going back home after service. That was a grave mistake

Please never allow what's happening cause depression or low self esteem in your life try to be courageous ,and hopeful things will surely turnout good for you, all things will surely fall into pleasant places for your sake.

GeneraVieve:
Good evening nairalanders
Please I need advice,I have been going through emotional and psychological trauma at the hands of my mum,neglect my mistakes please.
I finished school last two years and went for service after service,I came back home to try and get a job but couldn't. After trying for months without success,I decided to try on this jobs that pay low like pos,barman,security,etc. Luckily for me I got one that requires selling travelling bag. I started it even though the pay was small. When I told my mum about it,she asked about the pay and I told her,she said I should quit it. I told her I can't since I don't have any other job,she started insulting me that how will a graduate be collecting 25k. I told her it is just for the mean time that something better will come out. She insulted me and called my elder siblings and they too insulted me. Note before I got this job,I was facing insults from every corner bcus I was jobless,then I didn't have 100# to buy card and If I ask my mum she will insult the living out of me. I have lost count of the times she called me a corpse.
So I started working and I started using salary to do some biz and I was able to to raise good money from last year till now.
I had to stop work because it was stressful and I didn't have time for other things. So for about two months I don't go to work. I started learning python,Forex and video editing. I dedicate some hours to each of them everyday. My mum started complaining that I should go and find work that how would I stay at home from morning till night,I explained to her that I am looking at the future,skills I can learn that will be beneficial to me later in life and not stressing myself for 25k. She started complaining,telling me that my mates are riding cars, building house and getting married. I told her that I will achieve all this soon. Recently my relative who is 2years younger than me,a guy of 21 bought an expensive bike and decorated his apartment,my mum will always compare me to him . She will say he is ambitious and I am not. This guy is into fraud and she knows it.
Something happened recently that has kept me indoors and I don't know if I can ever go out because of shame. My mom came back from work and started shouting loudly(she always does that so everyone around will hear) that I don't work and she is tired of feeding me(I feed myself and sometimes buy foodstuff for the house). That I am lazy,that I sit around the house doing nothing,that I should pack my things and go. That I must leave the house. I came to her and was trying to calm her,she said I should stop telling her to keep quiet.i went to my room and started playing gospel song,she came in and started shouting that I am playing song for her,that I should go to my own house. I have been ashamed and can't even leave the house because everybody heard all she was saying. Nobody knows what I am passing through bcus I hardly discuss with people. I am an Introvert.
It is only God that has kept me going,I have begged my mum to just give me latest July I would have gotten enough money to leave. It hasn't been easy, I have thought of taking my life because the shame is too much. I cant walk with my head up. She lies and gossips about me to our neighbours. I don't know what I did to her to be getting all this. Most times I just stay and shed tears. I just need prayers from you guys. Please pray for me,all this would soon end by God's grace.

And you are sure she is your real mother? Like she gave birth to you? And gave you her breast to suck as a baby?
Guy go look for one room , face me i face you, anywhere far away from her and hustle like mad. No do illegitimate o
If it’s to go back to your 25k job go back while still learning the skills

GET OUT!

Your mother loves you, and you are too emotional.

You are comfortable in her house.

Leave her house.

Get a menial job.

Rent a room with what your salary can afford, and start from there.

You are alone in this world.

No one will help you.

You must to learn to survive on your own.

PoliteActivist:


I really felt for you reading this. I can tell it is authentic, not all these stories people make up here.
I want you to bear this in mind: every great person goes through a period like this. You also go through a period when someone or circumstances or shame will try to throw you off a path you know in your mind is your path to success. It is your defining moment. Your mum means well - she wants to nag you into taking risks, into doing something big. But it is people like her that cause people to carry drugs or such and end up in jail. Use her nagging as motivating fuel, but also guard against people like her. Maybe NLFPMod will move to FP for more advice.

Thank you very much for this,I really appreciate. My mum doesn't mean well for me at all,even if I should get a job of 150k,she will still complain that it will take time for me to buy a car,I don't know if she has wants me to go illegal, imagine comparing me with a my relative that is into fraud. What pains me the most,is that she is a leader in one of church programs and she preaches about being good and avoiding crimes. I have stopped going to the program bcus I don't like hypocrites.
All that is in my mind is to hustle harder and leave here soon. After that I will cut all ties with her.

Victor2707:
Your mother loves you, and you are too emotional.

You are comfortable in her house.

Leave her house.

Get a menial job.

Rent a room with what you salary can afford, and start from there.

You are alone in this world.

No one will help you.

You must to learn to survive on your own.

You call this love? Do you know they are people that would have been pushed to go into crime because of this pressure she is mounting on me. I have something doing that is giving me small money. I have savings, I plan on starting small business soon that will increase my earnings,I am learning some skills. Why is she giving me pressure,she wants me to be a millionaire overnight. If it was that easy let her make the millions.
I would understand her if there is work out there that once you apply they employ you immediately and start paying you 200k. If I should go back to my work of 25k she will not let me rest.

YoungBlackRico:
Your only mistake was going back home after service. That was a grave mistake

That was my biggest mistake,I regret coming here.

TsbAfrica:
this question is strong abeg I am a Capricorn and I can relate with OP so why did you ask abeg ... I need to check sontin... Becasue e be like Capricorn come collect gbas gbos for woman hand.

Op focus, no let another person talk scatter road for your eyes .... FOCUS!!!! When e pure your mama go carry your talk go AIT dey sing your praise... FOCUS!!

Please can you explain what a Capricorn is?

GeneraVieve:

You call this love? Do you know they are people that would have been pushed to go into crime because of this pressure she is mounting on me. I have something doing that is giving me small money. I have savings, I plan on starting small business soon that will increase my earnings,I am learning some skills. Why is she giving me pressure,she wants me to be a millionaire overnight. If it was that easy let her make the millions.
I would understand her if there is work out there that once you apply they employ you immediately and start paying you 200k. If I should go back to my work of 25k she will not let me rest.

Don't go into fraud.

You are allowing disrespect from her because you are in her house.

She is a female, and that is their nature. Learn more about female nature.

If you get married today, your wife will also disrespect you if you are not providing.

A female is a female, no matter who she is to you or how old she is.

Ignore her, and focus on your life.