do4luv14:
■ Cause you don't live together , How often do you see her unclothness, how often did you both got under the shower together

there are things, you do that will spices up your drive, as well get her Aroused

jagorinho:

The same reason you have been off and on with her before deciding to make it serious, look Mr Man, somethings can no be mitigated, what made you not take her seriously in the first place? Maybe the thing is coming up again, your answer might be there.

Kobojunkie:
Op likely also doesn’t live together with the other women he is turned on by so how can this have to do with their not living together?

TheBTCinvestor:


Bro I'm facing same problem bro and we just 1year together but luckily we have a kid. Outside eh my dick go stand kakaraka but with my wife my dick will be falling that I have to struggle to finish one round in weeks of no sex. Its crazy bro! We were having sex well b4 marriage b4 I got her pregnant. I think it's spiritual o or psychological cos I'm confused my self

Mokole2023:


Hmmmm that's worrisome! My wife's pretty, fair n endowed. Why is there no signal from my brain for arousal?

linearity:


Post her picture, so we can judge accurately.

Samantha124:
Tell her the truth and if possible, get a divorce and move on with those other ladies that you're already cheating on her with.

Set her free while she's still young and you guys don't have a child... The sooner you do it, the easier it's gonna be for her to move on.

WantsandMore:
have you ruled out psychological & clinical factors?

jaxxy:


Confess what exactly to ur wife? Lol


2ndly is ur wife complaining about ur sexual life or is she satisfied or even unbothered with ur failed sexual life? Has she given any advice or suggestions?

I'm trying to diagnosis the cause of ur problems at home match and success at away matches.

I don't want to jump into conclusions yet.

SunMusk:
Story story. I no the believe this kind story. A whole week you can't do one round with your wife. But you are horse rider or dragon rider for outside. U re only impotent for ur wife side. Hmmmmmmm

Mokole2023:
Dear Nlders,

I cant say if this problem is peculiar and I would sincerely appreciate mature comments and suggestions.

My marriage is just about a year old though I had an on/off online friendship with my now-wifey since 2017 before we decided to get serious late 2021. Our physical courtship was kinda brief - about 6 months - while we both resided in the same state but different Cities (about 3hrs apart).

I used to be very sexually active in my previous relationships - trust me when i say I'm quite good in bed - but with my now-wifey, I decided to limit the sex part cos i felt at a man's age (tho my sisters also advised same) that there r other things to look out for in a woman. So basically, we did not get too intimate during courtship. Worryingly, even the few times we did it, I rarely got to orgasm cos she couldn't match my stamina.

Fast forwards to 1 month into the marriage, I was diagnosed with High blood pressure which the doctors advised BP drugs might affect my libido but it will later regulate/normalize. Then the problems started! First, I get aroused normally with good turgidity enough to penetrate my Wifey's tight "body" but I tend to loose erection after some mins of thrusting and that's the end. Never comes back on again. Few times I was able to finish but that's not without alot of mental imagination to make me finish ontime.

Very worryingly for me, I decided to check myself with other women and dear readers, I achieved stronger turgidity and no fail moment. That was my first shock.

Summarily, my wife and I still dont live together but this situation has gone worse now. I got no sexual feelings towards her and na by force we dey manage run 1 round in weeks. Meanwhile, I get sex requests from other girls on a daily. I'm very sad about this situation especially when i look at my wife because she ought to be enjoying this thicke alone forever.

As a man, you can imagine how you'd feel when your woman feels ur impotent while other women are bugging you for your time.

Various extreme thoughts have crossed my mind and I'm seriously bothered which isn't even good for my health. Should i confess to my wife?

I await your responses, suggestions and advice.

Many thanks,

Angelfrost:


Sexual compatibility, you say??! Lol!

It's never that cut and dried!

A lot of couples were highly sexually compatible and attractive to one another prior to marriage... As soon as they got into the union, the attraction for sex went down!

My grandfather used to describe such situation as the "Over-familiarity crisis"! Meaning, what you get so easily and daily becomes quite regular and average for a lot of men!

My advice is that there be more than just sexuality in every marriage, and both partners learn to make out time to spice up the union!

The worst hit are usually the men! A lot of them get more aroused by women outside their marriages and seemingly beyond their reach than their wives...! Some guys will argue against this point; some will even pretend that they don't experience this in their marriages! Lol!

Las las, marriage will uncover and expose all bullshits!...

blaise26abj:


Thanks jare . Other girls are asking for your stupid , wandering prick . Leave that poor woman alone and marry one of your numerous side chicks .

How would you feel if she too went to ride a prick that doesn’t go flaccid before the end of one round to check if she is the problem . Yeye dey smell

Mokole2023:
Dear Nlders,

How i wish i can call you.

There's nothing wrong with you. It's all in your head.

The thing is; There's a certain level of expectations you desire, when it comes to sex, which your wife didn't meet. So, you've concluded that; great sex cannot be enjoyed with your wife.

It is more worse, cos you're seeing other girl/women, so you get to compare them with your inexperienced wife.

As long as you keep running back to those experienced concubines of yours, your marriage and sex life will not work.Your dick responds to other girls better, because your brain sensed that the other girls make you feel satisfied, unlike your wife who wouldn't put your dick in her mouth, or let you try different styles due to her religious background. Your brain is seeing sex as stressfull, alot of work, with your wife. There's nothing spiritual about it and your wife is innocent.

In all that you do, be patient with your wife. Do not loose her, she's a good woman and you know it. Do not use promiscuity to destroy your marriage. Do not bring STD to her. Work with her and encourage her, to be adventurous, try out new things when it comes to sex and see how things change gradually.
The whole lack of libido thing has nothing to do with your HBP drug. it is lack of satisfaction, expectations not met, and the fact that you're sleeping with other people where you are, and you're getting mind blowing sex, that destroyed your libido with your wife.,

Kobojunkie:
OP'S problem is not a side-effect of medication he is taking. I think he already knows that much. So how do you power a marriage for life with libido boosters? Won't that take a toll on a person's health?

Mokole2023:
■ There r libido boosting natural foods like dates etc. I cant even use drugs for that.

Mokole2023:
Dear Nlders,

I cant say if this problem is peculiar and I would sincerely appreciate mature comments and suggestions.

My marriage is just about a year old though I had an on/off online friendship with my now-wifey since 2017 before we decided to get serious late 2021. Our physical courtship was kinda brief - about 6 months - while we both resided in the same state but different Cities (about 3hrs apart).

I used to be very sexually active in my previous relationships - trust me when i say I'm quite good in bed - but with my now-wifey, I decided to limit the sex part cos i felt at a man's age (tho my sisters also advised same) that there r other things to look out for in a woman. So basically, we did not get too intimate during courtship. Worryingly, even the few times we did it, I rarely got to orgasm cos she couldn't match my stamina.

Fast forwards to 1 month into the marriage, I was diagnosed with High blood pressure which the doctors advised BP drugs might affect my libido but it will later regulate/normalize. Then the problems started! First, I get aroused normally with good turgidity enough to penetrate my Wifey's tight "body" but I tend to loose erection after some mins of thrusting and that's the end. Never comes back on again. Few times I was able to finish but that's not without alot of mental imagination to make me finish ontime.

Very worryingly for me, I decided to check myself with other women and dear readers, I achieved stronger turgidity and no fail moment. That was my first shock.

Summarily, my wife and I still dont live together but this situation has gone worse now. I got no sexual feelings towards her and na by force we dey manage run 1 round in weeks. Meanwhile, I get sex requests from other girls on a daily. I'm very sad about this situation especially when i look at my wife because she ought to be enjoying this thicke alone forever.

As a man, you can imagine how you'd feel when your woman feels ur impotent while other women are bugging you for your time.

Various extreme thoughts have crossed my mind and I'm seriously bothered which isn't even good for my health. Should i confess to my wife?

I await your responses, suggestions and advice.

Many thanks,

LLSAINT:
I think OPs, you are the problem.
First of all, welcome to the institution called marriage.
S$x starts with the mind. If you lose it, you lost it.
If other girls call and your dickkie comes alive, it simply means you have already engaged them in your mind before the very act.
Work on your mind and communicate more with your wife.
Cuddle her on bed still you sleep off.
Let the thoughts of other girls leave your mindset for you to get focused.
Her 'doughnut' is not different from the ones you fantasize.
Wetin dey sweet man for outside, easy to kill am o!

Kobojunkie:
But what you described is mental in scope and even dates cannot solve mental issues.

I would have suggested sex therapy along with maybe mental counseling on your part given the loss you revealed you and your wife had suffered BUT your OP says that would probably not work at all and this because of you.

mariahAngel:


The problem is not in your brain, it is in your heart.
You're trying to have sex with your wife, instead of making love to her.
Learn to love your wife, and make love to her wholesomely.
She's not some random girl, she's your wife.

One problem with the black man is that they don't know how to love. 🙄

Mokole2023:
■ So after all claims and counterclaims, what would you advice?

vickydevoka:

You might be right. But there is more to marriage than sex especially this abroad we dey. Most people for hear don marry two times, bcus first wife na papers, or cos or rush rush or referrer. Abroad really get disadvantage especially if you de rush to marry. Currently I'm put under pressure to marry, even babe I de follow now for 9ja, though I like her but I de fear to wife woman way get weight. Na my first time I de follow big woman. Though I never go intimate with her but she de really coner mark me. In reality you don't marry out of pity , you marry based on fact. E.g. you be first boy out of 9 children and your earn 300k , you fell in love with a lady that is Ada ( first daughter) , she also has 8 siblings. No matter how you love her , you are supposed to end the relationship not to talk of marrying her. Marriage is a burden , do not be deceived, you have a lot of responsibility especially if you're from poor or average home , worst still you happen to be the first boy or girl ( omo na die o).

In this life just use your sense and pray. I love you, I love you no de pay school fees.

Mokole2023:


Your quote is a big ? for me. I did consult with some "elders" and they say in such situations, traditionally its an issue with the woman (something like a spiritual attack). During a recent public holiday, i got myself viagra, I couldn't sleep cos my head was banging all thru d night. I have taken herbs, exercises, weight loss, dates fruit etc but e be like na other people dey enjoy am!