Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by cococandy(f): 4:42pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
unbiased2021:
Sounds like you’re not married. Well there are other ways to ginger the man up through negligence. If you ginger am, he go man up. Not divorce cos it’s not rosy out there as a single momma of 2 either What else is she supposed to do for him? Since his parents didn’t raise him to have a sense of responsibility. She’s supposed to train him all over again? 3 Likes |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by RoadMozart(m): 4:43pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Giftedhands45: I have to join this forum to post this tonight.
I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain. Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide. Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.
Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money '' I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.
There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available. Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down
Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well. My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.
Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?
What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?
Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?
I can relate
My dad was like that. We the children and our mother left him. Since then we've recorded massive progress in the family 6 Likes |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by MilitantAtheist: 4:44pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
GodPrince: abeg shut up your mouth, you wise well well so how come different guys them take fhuck the hell out of you give you belle run leave you to take care of 2 bastard babies wey dey grow up with you now and they nor know their fathers? The Igbo boy wen dey fhuck you now for warri go still leave you wen he don taya to fhuck your old weak Toto after he give you 3rd child belle he go discharge leave you. U dey advice her to get problem with her jobless husband but different people don fhuck you get belle run leave children for you, abi u think say we nor know your matter for area? Kolo una too like violence, allow her give her advice in peace. Abi you dey like the babe ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) . The lady said nothing wrong bro |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by ahnie: 4:45pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Octopusssy:
He is capping rubbish with reckless abandon. Check him offline, it is possible he and the op's husband are in the same WhatsApp group At some points I had to log off because I was getting already worked up. A man that's not ready to fend for his family,feels comfy bn idle. Some peeps need serious orientation Sha. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by descarado: 4:45pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
bukatyne:
1. We use you people as example because the men dey manage provide. The other men in these cultures DO NOT provide and DO NOT do chores, DO NOT lead in the home. Take them out and their presence and absence is same.
2. I guessed as much.
3. True
4. That's why I am very insistent on a responsible husband. That wanting treatment has Kings is innate. Whether they do, they no do; they want that treatment.
5. Nice one
6. You see this ehn, will keep baffling me till the end of time. That's why I don't take most of them complaining seriously. You complain, I note how you train your sons and younger men around you. It is same, I look the other way.
7. Access to cheap help doesn't help matters. If your husband is not responsible at home, just pick a underaged child wanting to escape generational poverty and overburden.
8. 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 😄 😁 truth is if you don't hold them accountable when they are not willing to pick up the slack, you will do it all alone and be overworked and bitter.
9. As in.
It is well. So basically, our men are flawed. Who should be blamed? Mothers, fathers or both. We will discuss this as a topic one day. It's very broad. 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by CodeTemplar: 4:45pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Skyview01: Why did you get into a marriage both of you are not financially and emotionally prepared for?
Why bring the poor kids to come suffer when both of you are not ready financially?
I call it wickedness when you have kids without the means to take care of them.
I have no sympathy for you, I only pity the poor innocent kids. Instead of looking for ways to solve the problems you willfully created, you are looking for another man to shift your burdens.
You still will never learn and are always seeking for shortcuts.
MARRIAGE AND CHILDBEARING ARE NOT NECESSARY AND SUFFICIENT CONDITIONS FOR HAPPINESS IN LIFE! Stop replying to your thoughts on a public forum. 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by MilitantAtheist: 4:46pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
RoadMozart:
I can relate
My dad was like that. We the children and our mother left him. Since then we've recorded massive progress in the family why disgracing your father 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Tyktoker: 4:46pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
I'm very sure your man is very handsome. Yes they are the ones who win the heart of workaholics like you. All they want is behave cool and toosh! Yeah, hard working ladies hardly care about the toxicity and low self esteem of a handsome man until he has caused their puna to slack on both leaves in marriage from excessive cex and child birth in rapid succession! I don't want to say it's serves you right but all you need is prayer for something in him to change else cheating ain't gonna help you but instead worsen situations, neither divorce cos such men as yours don't easily cheat so no ground of divorce, and if you divorce you can't marry either all your life! Giftedhands45: I have to join this forum to post this tonight.
I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain. Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide. Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.
Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money '' I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.
There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available. Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down
Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well. My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.
Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?
What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?
Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?
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Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Klass99(f): 4:46pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
3 Likes |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by nairalanda1(m): 4:47pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
unbiased2021:
Sounds like you’re not married. Well there are other ways to ginger the man up through negligence. If you ginger am, he go man up. Not divorce cos it’s not rosy out there as a single momma of 2 either A man who cannot ginger himself, is it his wife that would do it for him? Women can only encourage. But if a man has not woken up to his responsibility after fathering two children... I would have told the op if her husband was actively looking for job to be at least patient with him. But it seems the man himself is not even trying. 4 Likes |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by kkins25(m): 4:47pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Maybe his suffering from some mental health issue. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Nobody: 4:48pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
President2001:
You can never know his pain until you're in his shoe, just because he was silent does not making him a lazy man you need to put your best together so that he can overcome [ when you cheat you have a regret you will nurse till end of your life ] prayer is the key All these people that will be giving unsolicited advise sef So the Op that is providing is not in pain abi? The pain that made him useless when he was working and when he was jobless right? Pls explain the pain to us The husband should also put himself in his wife's shoe instead of sleeping and being lazy and useless, it is not easy for Op, he should also pray for himself so that he can overcome his laziness and be useful in life. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Luckysbab: 4:48pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
cococandy: Just know if you continue you will do everything by yourself until the end of your lives. He will never change and he will never take on your responsibilities seeing as you’re taking his. Instead he will consider it insulting if you ask him to. So you’ll end up married but single. Decide what you want Will you offer your husband to take her in as a second wife? |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by RecentHistory: 4:48pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Giftedhands45: Age is not our problem here. Not going out to source for a means of livelihood is the problem here. "Just 2 years older" You should have married your father's age mate na. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Nobody: 4:49pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
CodeTemplar:
Stop replying to your thoughts on a public forum. . |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Chetas81(m): 4:49pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
You that married someone from roadside should get ready for the drama |
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Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by cococandy(f): 4:50pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
The thing is that it’s not even knew ![cry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cry.gif) . At least in my opinion I’ve been hearing similar stuff for so long. The woman is given all the leadership’s duties but she’s to submit. She’s held to a higher standard and the man can do anything because his flesh is weak yet he’s the leader. How? Klass99:
Lol 🤣. I can't deal with men who think that way or act that way. Weren't they created first to lead, subdue, dominate, multiply and be fruitful............long before we were ever created?
Aren't they meant to be the head and captains of their homes again? How do you even begin to submit to such men who want to be given reorientation and purpose by a woman? I can't deal ooo. What calibre of men exist today like this? 3 Likes |
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Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by AgentGoat: 4:50pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
These are the types of modafuvka one is far better than but keep on disturbing our peace asking when are we getting married.
Even as a single niggar we know how many responsibilities dey our shoulder.
Both of you no get better hustle but una rush go marry. 3 Likes |
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Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Karlifate: 4:52pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Separate from him, but don't divorce him officially.
You can stay with your parents during this separation period. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Nobody: 4:52pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Luckysbab:
Will you offer your husband to take her in as a second wife? Ask yourself, does your reasoning make sense? if a woman leaves her husband, she automatically becomes someone else's second wife abi? What is wrong with you? 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by uwagboe1: 4:53pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Giftedhands45: I have to join this forum to post this tonight.
I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain. Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide. Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.
Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money '' I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.
There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available. Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down
Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well. My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.
Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?
What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?
Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?
Let me guess the man is an irobo or isoko man..that behavior is common with them 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Nobody: 4:53pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
GodPrince: abeg shut up you know nothing. You think life is about fhuckin anyhow for 2k n indomie What is this one saying? Who is fvcking anyhow? Why are you dumb pls? 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by RoadMozart(m): 4:54pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
MilitantAtheist: why disgracing your father six years in secondary school, 5 years in the University. Not support from him. I remember a time in school when NEPA brought light and burnt down all my fan,laptop charger, phone charger, and so on. I called him cos I was short of cash then, he said he had no money that if I was pained I should come back home. I later learned that that time I called he haf over 300k on him.
I suffered in school because of his lackadaisical attitude. I always came home to do farm work to raise fees for myself and siblings. I went into freelance driving cos of him. Got to a time when I was do depressed that I attempted suicide. I was dejected and even thought its better to be fatherless than have someone like him.
I graduated from school with him not knowing the name of my school. All he did was sleep, wake up, listen to radio, watch tv, spend the little he had on suya and all kinds of nonsense.
14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Blitzking: 4:54pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Giftedhands45: I have to join this forum to post this tonight.
I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain. Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide. Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.
Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money '' I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.
There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available. Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down
Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well. My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.
Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?
What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?
Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?
U don't need love.you need support..let me not roast the man becos I haven't heard his own pt..but wat kind of man sits down and watch his wife and kids go hungry |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Klass99(f): 4:54pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by skj1377(m): 4:55pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
People realise too late that love is not enough for a marriage to succeed. Anyways why did you marry him in the first place. 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by BloomingDale(f): 4:55pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Trizyd: Leave your husband and that will be a mistake you will live to regret forever. You can mark my words.
It's only your side of the story I read, but even from the second sentence, I can spot issues coming from you yourself.
Be wise. Lol. Regret?? 1 Like
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Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by jackmrandy: 4:55pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
so many sacastic remarks. no one wants to listen to one another. before i start judging any case now, i must hear from both side. ever since the day i supported a friend who actually took a phone but he denied and i also joined hands to say he was not the one, but eventually he aggreed he was the one. since that day i don't support anybody again in any case even if you be my blood.
now back to this woman's case. we just heard her own side of the story. wish the man is here to to attest to all these statement the woman has said about not meeting up to his responsibilities. its good we hear from both side.
now to the woman, what business/work was your husband doing before?
now that he has no job/business, have you sat down and ask him what his next next steps are.
the fact that you are providing now, does not mean you should look down on him or leave your marriage.
sit him down, talk to him, ask him what the problems are. men can be very secretive. let him tell you why he don;t want to get a job.
you will be amazed at the amount of secrets he will open up to you. 1 Like 1 Share |