Skyview01:
Why did you get into a marriage both of you are not financially and emotionally prepared for?

Why bring the poor kids to come suffer when both of you are not ready financially?

I call it wickedness when you have kids without the means to take care of them.

I have no sympathy for you, I only pity the poor innocent kids. Instead of looking for ways to solve the problems you willfully created, you are looking for another man to shift your burdens.

You still will never learn and are always seeking for shortcuts.

MARRIAGE AND CHILDBEARING ARE NOT NECESSARY AND SUFFICIENT CONDITIONS FOR HAPPINESS IN LIFE!

Klass99:


We need to start changing the narrative for such men. I absolutely love how Realtalk tackled her own situation. She was practical, decisive and actionable. No time wasted praying and fasting for a dead beat to change.

cococandy:


What else is she supposed to do for him? Since his parents didn’t raise him to have a sense of responsibility. She’s supposed to train him all over again?

unbiased2021:


Sounds like you’re not married.
Well there are other ways to ginger the man up through negligence. If you ginger am, he go man up. Not divorce cos it’s not rosy out there as a single momma of 2 either

RoadMozart:

I can relate

My dad was like that. We the children and our mother left him. Since then we've recorded massive progress in the family

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

RoadMozart:

six years in secondary school, 5 years in the University. Not support from him. I remember a time in school when NEPA brought light and burnt down all my fan,laptop charger, phone charger, and so on. I called him cos I was short of cash then, he said he had no money that if I was pained I should come back home. I later learned that that time I called he haf over 300k on him.

I suffered in school because of his lackadaisical attitude. I always came home to do farm work to raise fees for myself and siblings. I went into freelance driving cos of him. Got to a time when I was do depressed that I attempted suicide. I was dejected and even thought its better to be fatherless than have someone like him.

I graduated from school with him not knowing the name of my school. All he did was sleep, wake up, listen to radio, watch tv, spend the little he had on suya and all kinds of nonsense.

all these talk op top your papa head? he must be a very irresponsible father. could even be that he is not the one that gave birth to you or you your mum cheated at the pointed she claimed she had your pregnancy. but laslas sha, your papa na your papa

moneyissweet:
Stupid questions, even dangote can go bankrupt and loose everything.

You asked as if she is God who knows when everything will turn upside down

cococandy:
Just know if you continue you will do everything by yourself until the end of your lives. He will never change and he will never take on your responsibilities seeing as you’re taking his. Instead he will consider it insulting if you ask him to. So you’ll end up married but single. Decide what you want

Jovialjune1:



What is this one saying? Who is fvcking anyhow? Why are you dumb pls?

bukatyne:




Maybe that's the type of men the women like? Or grew up to see?

Apart from the SE, I can count the tribes/regions that believe in a husband who provides any form of leadership

I know SW and SS regions don't. Their women provide, protect and defend the home (read a lady describing how her mother checks if the main door is locked every night), leas in prayers/spirituality, lead in child training etc.

A lot of Nigerian women need training on what a husband should be like and the men trained on the duties of a husband.

Some provide money and think that's all there is to husbandhood.

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

kkins25:
Maybe his suffering from some mental health issue.

fortunateme:
Giftedhands45
With 2 kids, finding true love is a mare wishful thinking.

cococandy:
Just know if you continue you will do everything by yourself until the end of your lives. He will never change and he will never take on your responsibilities seeing as you’re taking his. Instead he will consider it insulting if you ask him to. So you’ll end up married but single. Decide what you want

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

Klass99:


Lol 🤣. I can't deal with men who think that way or act that way. Weren't they created first to lead, subdue, dominate, multiply and be fruitful............long before we were ever created?

Aren't they meant to be the head and captains of their homes again? How do you even begin to submit to such men who want to be given reorientation and purpose by a woman? I can't deal ooo. What calibre of men exist today like this?

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

JeffreyJunior:
No no no, I disagree with this. That man may be going through depression which makes him behave the way he does. The signs are there. It's hard for a grown man to always be on bed when his mates are out there struggling. I think we are dealing with a man who has subtly given up on life due to frustrations necessitated by lack of job and money to take care of his family.
His kids are close to him meaning he is not a bad person, kids are sensitive. He can't be a bad husband or person and still be a good dad to the kids. I did not read anywhere he is being accused of abuse in any form which means that all he needs is a heart to heart talk and someone he can share his frustrations with.Divorcing him is her choice though.

descarado:

How will she start the training.
Basic knowledge or science?
Which one comes first?
Nairaland

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

cococandy:
■ No seriously if you ask them to give specifics about how she’s supposed to do it. All they’ll say is “Talk to him. Call family meeting. Talk to your pastor.” Well what if after that he doesn’t change?
Then their next solution is to “pray and continue suffering”. Just to avoid calling a spade a spade. If he doesn’t care he doesn’t care. If he cares he’ll make the effort

JeffreyJunior:
No no no, I disagree with this.

That man may be going through depression which makes him behave the way he does. The signs are there.

It's hard for a grown man to always be on bed when his mates are out there struggling. I think we are dealing with a man who has subtly given up on life due to frustrations necessitated by lack of job and money to take care of his family.

His kids are close to him meaning he is not a bad person, kids are sensitive. He can't be a bad husband or person and still be a good dad to the kids.

I did not read anywhere he is being accused of abuse in any form which means that all he needs is a heart to heart talk and someone he can share his frustrations with.

Divorcing him is her choice though.

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

cococandy:
Just know if you continue you will do everything by yourself until the end of your lives. He will never change and he will never take on your responsibilities seeing as you’re taking his. Instead he will consider it insulting if you ask him to. So you’ll end up married but single. Decide what you want

Tompson88:
Help him get another job,maybe he hasn't been responsible of late due to being joblessness, if the same attitude persist then you can decide because backing out and leaving him in such situation won't help any of you considering he is the father of your children.

GodPrince:
don't insult me little girl, I'm old enough to be your elder brother because I'm sure you are not more than 20, respect yourself. You know nothing about life, go wash your panties because it's obvious you don't have any clean pant to wear to school tomorrow