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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? (28638 Views)
Mother Wants Her Daughter To Quit Marriage Because Of This / Man Leaves His Marriage Because His Wife Beats & Abuses Him / I Am Ending My Marriage Because Of These (see Reasons And Give Advise) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by unbiased2021: 5:29pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: I’m still trying to make it make sense though, but a wicked woman will always be a wicked woman. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by GodPrince: 5:29pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
cococandy:you're still insulting me even when I never insulted you? God bless you |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by olamilarks(m): 5:30pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Giftedhands45:In all your decision-making, be wise 🦉. Overworked single mothers plenty for outside, don't join the statistics, treat your marriage like a marathon not a sprint, God will guide you! 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by lomaxx: 5:30pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
ahnie: Your choice of role models is reflective of your thought process and mentality in general. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by AmazingELixir: 5:31pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is an opportunity for Nairaland feminists to loud their campaign. I won't say anything until I hear from the guy...twisting narratives to make the other appear as the villian is all too common on this platform. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by lomaxx: 5:32pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Klass99: The risk inherent in this bet almost always works against the children. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by cococandy(f): 5:33pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
GodPrince: Leave God out of this . He created black skin and you called it ugly. I’m pretty sure he’s side eyeing you already for uttering such nonsense. Face your low self esteem and figure out how to deal with it 4 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Airdrophunter(m): 5:36pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Giftedhands45: I have been a regular Nairaland visitor, and I have never had reason to comment on any topic until now. The reason why I opened this account is to advise you because your story looks like mine from about 5 years ago. My wife had this same belief over me at that moment. I had been working and making money before I met her, but things get worse after marriage and make me lose myself, and she believes I am lazy and not ready to work. For a few years, she's been there, and suddenly she stops being herself, and I believe she's been manipulated. I tried to convince her, but it seems she had made up her mind, so I had to behave like what will be will be. She took my kids to her parent's house. It feels like I am going to die. There was a time I nearly ended it because she was the last hope, and the kids are the ones pushing me not to give up. I struggle with life, but God finally picked up my call. It feels like she's the one holding my progress afterwards, and I can now say I am a man and can do basic things after she left. I haven't had a serious relationship since she left and I am not planning to have one, but I have made up my mind that my penny will not go to her. There are times I want my kids to go to the UK for the summer, but I die it because I don't want to have anything with her again. I share this because I want you to think very well before it's too late. You guys can still talk it out, and the guy might not be as lazy as you think. May God bless you and help you make the best decision. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by unbiased2021: 5:38pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
cococandy: Well, I support the woman to go away for sometime but not outrightly leaving the marriage. This country is really hard and there are people who don’t know how to put their feelings into words. What if his job wasn’t earning him enough ? How are we going to agree with her the man has never tried without getting to hear from the man himself ? She could either be saying the truth or not saying everything. Let her go away with the kids for sometime, believe me when he’s alone he will have some time for sober reflections…. People are different and you never know where your real motivations will come from . This lady is also at fault because she explained these were happening before marriage. So how did the marriage happen? Did she pay for the bills too? |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by olamilarks(m): 5:39pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
ahnie:Is there any truth to the stereotype about SS men being lazy? |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Acidosis(m): 5:39pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
qtguru: Nothing is going on. Unemployment rate in Nigeria is currently 41%, meaning 4 out of every 10 men out there are jobless. Not everyone can "hustle" in an environment that kills opportunities. We have to first and foremost acknowledge a societal problem before crucifying anyone. 4 Likes |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by gabbytabby: 5:39pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
In marriage one is advised to start as you want to continue. Don’t be doing everything and expect that he will change. From what you say he might not be a desirable husband but a good father ie runs errands and helps take care of the children. There is a lot of value to this too. Let the rent expire if you can pay even if you have to ask for help pay if not, wait until stress from landlord makes you go temporarily to your parents. Let him know you are waiting on him. Na you choose am na you go manage am. Try not to complicate your life any further. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Kobojunkie: 5:41pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
unbiased2021:Really? Given that the man sits back and allows such atrocities to continue in his own marriage—you cannot tell me that the man does not see or hear all that goes on in his own home —, do you not see that it isn't just the woman but the man as well implicated in these acts of wickedness? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Aaaaarghmed(m): 5:42pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
HeartlessMan:looool..dem don come outside.The man Is just naturally stingy and lazy,no be by wether he dey spend wen una dey date or not. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Kobojunkie: 5:43pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
olamilarks:1. Is she not already one of them even as she continues to carry the "Mrs" badge around? ![]() 2. Treat marriage like a marathon while marriage treats her like an overworked single mother? Your level of reasoning dey shock-ed me. Abeg no dey mention God name in this kain muck abeg! ![]() 2 Likes
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Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Nobody: 5:46pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
SURElee:Thank you |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Kobojunkie: 5:46pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
lomaxx:Would a child be better off raised in a home by an overworked single mother carrying a "Mrs" badge desperately dragging along a deadbeat father? ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by olamilarks(m): 5:47pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:I said what I said IQ judge. Enjoy! |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Kobojunkie: 5:48pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
olamilarks:You are the one who said we should use wisdom in everything, right before you then revealed yours. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by cococandy(f): 5:49pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
If you read her story she said she did everything even when he was working because he had one story or the other regarding his income even when he worked. I don’t have any advice for her except for her to bear in mind that he won’t change and she should be ready to keep doing it all as long as she’s with him. The decision is hers unbiased2021: 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by olamilarks(m): 5:50pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:Do you have children Kobojunkie? |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Kobojunkie: 5:52pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
olamilarks:Why do you ask? ![]() |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by qtguru(m): 5:52pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Acidosis: Unemployment is a general issue in any country, that's not justification for giving up, and letting the woman be burdened. Outrageous 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Kobojunkie: 5:53pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
qtguru:Very good response! ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Amumaigwe: 5:54pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
sisisioge: @bolded He is good on bed na. Will ladies ever learn that no one can eat her cake and still have it back. 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Eldani89: 5:55pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Giftedhands45: We need to hear from the guy. Sometimes if you hear from the other party you will be shocked. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by ETTTTUBRUTTE: 5:55pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
There is nothing bad at all if a woman decides to leave a marriage. It is within a woman's prerogative to make that decision. A man might be responsible for Feeding, Clothing, Schooling, Maintenance etc; etc; for a woman and her children and her families in the last 1000 years. There would never ever be a complaint. But, let a TEMPORARY woe betides this same man and lost his job and unable to pay household bills for just 1 Hour (One Hour), Then you will hear this same woman, singing like a parrot, all over the world. It all depends on a man and a woman's upbringing. Some women stay and fight really hard for the over all Long Term benefit of her children. Some women as well chicken out and reap the big time reward of her action in the nearest future. That is why it is important for a man to do proper background verifications and analysis before settling down with a woman. A woman also needs to undertake exhaustive background verifications as well. I wish you good luck as you ponder on what to do. 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by olamilarks(m): 5:56pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
I see Naija ladies trying to "Americanize" with everything, 😂, the single mother in the western world has child support but here we have none. What I see is happening with OP is a communication gap, which could still be salvaged. Children needs both parents to be present for robust development, not multiple daddies or mummies while growing up! 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by Kobojunkie: 5:58pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
olamilarks:Children need both parents? You don't know the world and Life has yet to teach you much at all is why you make such generalizations still. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by lomaxx: 5:59pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: I think labels are overrated. She can leave (she wants to and she will). Entirely her choice. However, the fact remains. The risk inherent in the bet against dual parent households almost always works against the children. |
Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by olamilarks(m): 6:00pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:Because I gave my opinion from the POV of children, they suffer the most when their parents separate. Marriage is Hardwork sir/ma'am, that's why I prayed for wisdom for the lady, because I can't advice her! |
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