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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK (76398 Views)
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Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Teslim1969: 9:54am On Jul 19, 2023 |
I live in the UK and also single. You can hit me up for a chat at idowuteslim52@gmail.com , you ne ver know |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by shantti(m): 10:16am On Jul 19, 2023 |
Calitoscassius: Akwuna kwuna nwoke ![]() ![]() |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by ELKHALIFAISIS(m): 10:27am On Jul 19, 2023 |
Gerrard59:chief some people carry enough vibes to attract friendship to their side... the auntie is forming funky she a medical practitioner and looking for someone in her rank... so many hard working Nigeria guys are in UK... u can't tell me one didn't notice her.. she were busy turning them down because she want something more better ... no be London again .. boboos full everywhere |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Ojagun(m): 10:33am On Jul 19, 2023 |
Raalsalghul:I was laughing while reading that fellow's post.He must have believed he posted something profound.As a man in this world,the sooner you realize no one gives a sh.it about you, the better.Even when you start "winning",people will get more upset at you.As for you last sentence,not to sound nihilistic,but when one views life critically,it is random and meaningless. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by emmyN(m): 10:39am On Jul 19, 2023 |
Urheadmaster: What part of Germany do you live? Lots of Germans can speak english, although many pretend they can't when you meet them for the first time. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by merits(m): 10:48am On Jul 19, 2023 |
Maria96: Where exactly are you residing in UK? |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by aosunday: 11:01am On Jul 19, 2023 |
Am a Nigerian and am based in the UK, I stay in trumpington how do we meet? |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Gerrard59(m): 11:10am On Jul 19, 2023 |
I read every post. The UK should be fair enough for a black African woman. Has she tried places like South Korea, Singapore, Malaysia, China or Japan? ![]() ![]() I do agree that loneliness is a real thing when you relocate from an African country to a developed one. Due to how the system is structured, people are focused on work and other aspects of life that might not resonate with you as a first-generation immigrant. The complaints differ from the second generation. Before relocating, I thought I was an introvert, but na here I con say where my introvertness stop, na there their own start. You could be in a place, no one is saying Hi and to prevent stories that touch, you don't make the first move. Worse is the language, so one keeps to him/herself. However, having learnt the language pretty well and accepted invites to a few occasions, I gradually assimilated what I will term "work-in-progress". As for relationships, that one no concern me. Three reasons: I never had one while in Nigeria; I am laser focused on making money, and I am not too fazed about marriage. I don't see myself getting married before 40; I am not yet 30. I deprived myself of many pleasures while in Nigeria to make a good grade, getting into marriage will stifle the freedom and peace of mind I desire. While the story might be false or embellished, there are many ways to handle loneliness in the abroad. - Join associations: Meet people. The doc stated she is not too friendly. Well, she won't be able even to make acquaintances let alone friends. - Have a hobby: This is extremely important as it gives your life meaning beyond work and study. It could be anything that you love doing. Two hobbies I have are: reading newspapers and doing research into issues I have a deep interest in. I could read different newspapers on the same issue for an hour. In fact, I rather read an edition of The Economist Magazine rather than watch a live football match. For instance, I really relished the time I spent doing research to compile the stats and commentary on this thread: https://www.nairaland.com/7763389/top-jamb-scorers-where-today. A hobby I recently developed is learning Kanji. Although it is an integral part of knowing the language, I find it fun as the total number of Kanjis goes beyond the necessary ones to be certified as a bilingual speaker. The end game is to learn new ones including the Chinese variants and write the Kanji test. Now, tell me, how can I be bored? - Travel: OP has a strong passport, most likely and she is in Europe. Find time to travel. Join groups and explore. Being in Nigeria would have made it harder due to costs and strength of the Nigerian passport. As she dey Europe, visit places you ordinarily would not have. Learn new cultures and languages. I see Nigerians on Instagram doing the same even as new immigrant nurses. So, how much an established doctor? - Know what took you there and adjust: Are you going there for the money? Desire to live in a place where things work? To have an international working experience? Secure another nationality? Also understand that you can't have it have it all. You win some and lose some. I wrote everything here: https://www.nairaland.com/7650379/points-consider-before-after-japa This life no suppose hard. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Gerrard59(m): 11:16am On Jul 19, 2023 |
cococandy: The reason I blame the men is that instead of understanding that they are in it together with their women, Obviously, the men are to be blamed. It is men who chart the course of a society/racial group/ethnic group. they hate the women for things that are entirely not their fault and think going to white women will solve the issue. What are these things which are not the fault of black women? How do white women come across as a group of people who can solve these issues? Then of course it doesn’t. So they bounce and circle the block. Only to do it again. all over again. They often don’t take the opportunity for self reflection and re-strategizing. If there is one thing I have noted about black people, at least online, it is never taking responsibility for one's actions. God! When compared to East Asians, there is a stark difference. So, I am not surprised. This is not say BW are blameless but statistically when things go sideways, they are the ones who often stay to “hold down” the forte. BM don’t give them the same grace when things go sideways What are these issues? Let's remember that in the US which is our focal point, blacks marry themselves more than they marry other races. This cuts across both genders. One question, though, does your post apply to black African men and women? 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Freemasonry: 11:36am On Jul 19, 2023 |
I think this lady poured her heart into these words, and I do wish that her hopes of finding a real sweetheart comes true. |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by ednut1(m): 11:46am On Jul 19, 2023 |
cococandy:hmmmm another angle 😆 |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by cococandy(f): 11:46am On Jul 19, 2023 |
Gerrard59: WW come across as a group that will let them do as they please. They often say black women do not let them lead. Citing hyper independence as a reason. But fail to understand that given the history of slavery, followed by Jim Crow, segregation and the continued targeting of black communities by the state, the black women have had no choice but to step up and lead the homes in the very often scenario that the man was away (in the fields. Locked up etc). Now they could fix this by showing BW that they are up to the task by stepping up, being present, completing their education, keeping consistent employment and making sure they can provide not just money but male parenting. Instead they often end up running away and blame the women for not being soft and feminine enough to be led. BW have had no choice but to be strong. WW could afford to hand over the reigns of leadership to their men because WM were out there conquering nations for them and their descendants.
To add to this, Jews and Asians keep their wealth in their communities. America is hyper capitalist. That’s the only way to hold onto power. BM who succeeded to become millionaires marry out and if unfortunately they get divorced, the wealth often gets split hence a reduction in overall community wealth.
The main issues AA face in America is financial. There have been multiple systemic roadblocks placed strategically for AA to not rise. Too many to fit in one NL post. But yea red lining is still a thing. The financial, health, educational and justice institutions still have observable biases against them. A lot of opportunities now exist for individuals to try to better themselves, so it’s a work in progress. However when BW take it on themselves to keep moving forward to change these situations, they are accused of being too educated, too entrepreneurial, independent, too feministic hence they can’t make good submissive wives. I feel like if their men wanted to take on those roles and propel the community forward, a good number of BW won’t mind standing back and letting them take charge. But how can they? No. my post doesn’t apply to Africans. The reason why these conversations crept into nairaland is because I’m beginning to see nairaland dudes regurgitating the same BS of BW being bottom of the barrel in desirability. That’s all the stuff they see online without even understanding how weak it makes them look. If there’s one thing WM or Asian men won’t do, they won’t make it a point to tell the world that they despise their women. I know misogyny exists in all those communities as well. The men there are not inherently better than BM. But at least they understand the power in keeping a united front. 5 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by ednut1(m): 11:47am On Jul 19, 2023 |
1Sharon:are white men not marrying on an average of 3 times ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by ProfessorAlex: 11:56am On Jul 19, 2023 |
A man will simply hustle, save up money, come to Nigeria, marry a Nigerian girl and take her to UK and build his own family, but a Nigerian woman will never do this or even think of it, they'll rather suffer depression. 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by 2hrt(m): 12:10pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
Ilekokonit: |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by obaidan: 1:40pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
Lewisjohnson:Actually make we no lie they are fine, a well maintained black or brown skin is far ahead of those white skin people in my books....na make God give dem better attitude n sense remain 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by DaddyGngeess(m): 1:46pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
Wellington123: Alright, i shuttle between Lagos and Abuja shall, presently i am in Abuja now check ur email |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Abbey2sam(m): 2:01pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
One thing you haven't realised is that you're getting old alone |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by gforce5: 2:13pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
When I tell people that it's best to Japa when you are in your prime (18-27), I was insulted and called a drunkard. ![]() ![]() The best time to establish everlasting relationships with people is secondary school and university (1st Degree). You will interact with people from the same age group as you. People who moved abroad at a younger age find it easier to make friends and have a relationship with someone than someone who moved in their late twenties and above. People in their late twenties and above have spent all their formative years in Nigeria (primary, secondary, university). As a result, their all their closest friends are those they went to school with in Nigeria. All their dating experience is with a Nigerian under a Nigerian setting. Abroad is a different kettle of fish. It is a very introverted society. An extroverted person will find it difficult to comprehend the introverted nature of the natives the same way people from the mainland struggle to understand why Islanders are introverted. For Nigerian women it's worst as black women are not high in the dating pool. A lot of black men go for white women. Even within the black community, Nigerian women aren't a big attraction. It's either Caribbean women or women from the Horn of Africa. Men don't have patience for Nigerian women and their sense of entitlement. For Nigerian women who want to Japa, try and establish a relationship in Nigeria before you go. It's much better that way. If i am lying, ask Pansophist and other foreign experts. They will let you know what dating life is like in the west. 4 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Sweetvie: 3:02pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
Hmm You'll be fine😔 |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by KaptainAfrika: 3:12pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
Why haven't you gotten a drilling license for each of those lonely p*ssies ![]() Calitoscassius: |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Calitoscassius(m): 3:49pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
KaptainAfrika:I have a drilling licence already, how did you think i knew they are lonely vaginas? ![]() |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Ojogracebosede(m): 3:55pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
No 1, you will need to go for deliverance for the bad luck following you to die and loose their holds on you. No 2, you will have to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour if you want to retain your deliverance and freedom. No 3, You will need to pray and wait on God to give you direction and stop doing Kalokalo. No 4, If you don't mind, I have an engr son in Canada that I can connect you with if you will be the best for him. No 5, You can connect with me on my private number 07086503009 for more private chats. |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by 1Sharon(f): 3:59pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
ednut1: The key word is marraige. |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Mozillafire: 4:01pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
nawa oh |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Ojogracebosede(m): 4:03pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
Response to a Nigerian Dr who is lonely in UK. No 1, you will need to go for deliverance for the bad luck following you to die and loose their holds on you. No 2, you will have to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour if you want to retain your deliverance and freedom. No 3, You will need to pray and wait on God to give you direction and stop doing Kalokalo. No 4, If you don't mind, I have an engr son in Canada that I can connect you with if you will be the best for him. No 5, You can connect with me on my private number 07086503009 for more private chats. |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Bananapill: 4:39pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
Maria96: There must be a good brother out there for her. |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Tunagee(m): 5:18pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
CSTRR: Great advice. |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Tunagee(m): 5:34pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
flokii: Exactly |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by kwaraguy(m): 6:28pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
geedot: That's because you can't explain experience, no matter how simple the examples you're using to explain it. Reason why some things can never be understood by just anyone except those that has previously had such. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by LastProphet: 7:30pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
blazepascal: White people make friend with you?? Hahahahahaha, your eye will open 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Doctor Shares Her Battle With Loneliness In The UK by Wellington123: 9:44pm On Jul 19, 2023 |
DaddyGngeess: Ok kindly check your email for my response |
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