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I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged - Family - Nairaland

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I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Nobody: 4:41am On Jul 30, 2023
Good morning everyone. I have to create this account to post this.
I can't even sleep at night lately.

I'm so tired and I need help right now. I have been doing this all by myself for so long now, without much complain but now, I need help.
Before I got married to my husband, I didn't know he had a seasonal mental health challenge, but not violent.

I met him in the university, he was in medicine, he had dreams, very ambitious, one of the best in his department, Working his way to travel abroad to continue his education. We were just friends, but I liked him. He kept on asking me out, but I declined. I wanted to graduate first.
We parted ways in year two. He changed school, so, I knew nothing about him again till years later.
Reconnected with him years later after graduation, to my greatest surprise, he didn't graduate, wasted all his resources and couldn't travel out. We still love each other, so we got married.
after the birth of my first child, I wanted to leave him, but I couldn't because he was a good man, but with too many changes and I was the only one who truly care and was there for him.
Three years ago, he became much better. He got a small job, Started bringing in little for upkeep. I saw change and I was happy. We had our second child last year after 8yrs.
Since early this year, the whole thing came up again. Since then, he became jobless again.
The financial burden is all on me. Right now, we can't afford to renew our rent.
I lost my business capital some times ago in wrong business, since then, it has been so much struggles.

I'm trying hard but it's not enough.
I'm thinking of working away, but to where? what about my children? Who will be there for them? What about him? But I'm tired of being in a marriage where I have to struggle for everything, where I can not depend on my man.
Pls, help us renew our house rent.

What do I do?

46 Likes 7 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by silvoclaira: 4:43am On Jul 30, 2023
What an experience...I feel your troubles.


You can't be everything and everywhere in life, or else you'll miss out. Concerning Some businesses, no matter how lucrative, may not align with your strengths. Identify your abilities, choose a career path in that direction not just for money, but also for a fulfilling life.

58 Likes 6 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by poshestmina(f): 4:57am On Jul 30, 2023
"Help us renew our house" undecided. lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

120 Likes 6 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Nobody: 5:01am On Jul 30, 2023
I've read similar story here. Hmmm

10 Likes

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by talented321: 5:04am On Jul 30, 2023
U want to run''
Madam plan things with ur husband'' give up no join.
Don't u two have family members that can help with what they can? U seems business minded and hard working, no be small ya.
It is well

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by libertyfather(m): 5:20am On Jul 30, 2023
This life sef!

3 Likes

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Kobojunkie: 5:35am On Jul 30, 2023
beautifulsoul12:
■ Good morning everyone. I have to create this account to post this.
I can't even sleep at night lately. I'm so tired and I need help right now. I have been doing this all by myself for so long now, without much complain but now, I need help. Before I got married to my husband, I didn't know he had a seasonal mental health challenge, but not violent.
I met him in the university, he was in medicine, he had dreams, very ambitious, one of the best in his department, Working his way to travel abroad to continue his education. We were just friends, but I liked him. He kept on asking me out, but I declined. I wanted to graduate first.
We parted ways in year two. He changed school, so, I knew nothing about him again till years later. Reconnected with him years later after graduation, to my greatest surprise, he didn't graduate, wasted all his resources and couldn't travel out. We still love each other, so we got married. after the birth of my first child, I wanted to leave him, but I couldn't because he was a good man, but with too many changes and I was the only one who truly care and was there for him. Three years ago, he became much better. He got a small job, Started bringing in little for upkeep. I saw change and I was happy. We had our second child last year after 8yrs.
Since early this year, the whole thing came up again. Since then, he became jobless again. The financial burden is all on me. Right now, we can't afford to renew our rent. I lost my business capital some times ago in wrong business, since then, it has been so much struggles.
I'm trying hard but it's not enough. I'm thinking of working away, but to where? what about my children? Who will be there for them? What about him? But I'm tired of being in a marriage where I have to struggle for everything, where I can not depend on my man.
Pls, help us renew our house rent. What do I do?
▢ What mental illness(es) would that be?

▢ Has your husband been getting regular treatment for the condition or have you both not been paying attention to these things?

▢ You learned right after your first child that your husband was mentally ill, so you must have done some serious background to at least learn whether the condition is hereditary before having your second child. Or did you think it was all Ok to leave such things to chance? undecided

▢ Your husband does not work and he is mentally ill, have you both tried coming together as a couple to maybe replan your union in such a way that would maybe get you to become the major breadwinner while he transitions more into the role of househusband during his down seasons? I mean what have you both tried up until this point in time that has not worked for you still? undecided

119 Likes 6 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by immortalcrown(m): 5:59am On Jul 30, 2023
May God help you and your family.

If he is not violent and abusive, I advise you to cope. Those who have suffered abuse in rich homes understand that happiness is not always determined by money. Those who have not suffered in rich homes, claim money is everything.

33 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Foodqueen(f): 6:58am On Jul 30, 2023
Your story is incomplete o jare.

His family members should care about him.

61 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by jeromestarks: 7:02am On Jul 30, 2023
Handle your problem alone.
You rejected good men who approached you when you were younger and beautiful to marry this mentally retardant.
You chose your destiny. You should suffer it alone.

Never pity a woman who is suffering in her home. Good men came for her but she rejected them saying "he's too short, he doesn't have money, he's to tall, he doesn't have a car etc" and settled for a guy who used suya to bribe her.

Many women wished the men they rejected came back. But guess what, none will come back.

50 Likes 6 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Yankee101: 7:20am On Jul 30, 2023
I thought you wanted a solution for his mental health

85 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by ibechris(m): 7:32am On Jul 30, 2023
Sorry for everything.

This is where many young men and women rush in to love someone without first finding out about the person,family and backgrounds.

I am saying this because of many more ladies or men that may soon find themselves in this kind of quagmire.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by verifiablefacts: 7:35am On Jul 30, 2023
Yankee101:
I thought you wanted a solution for his mental health
She no gree mention the mental part again.

84 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Mozino007(m): 8:12am On Jul 30, 2023
beautifulsoul12:
Good morning everyone. I have to create this account to post this.
I can't even sleep at night lately.

I'm so tired and I need help right now. I have been doing this all by myself for so long now, without much complain but now, I need help.
Before I got married to my husband, I didn't know he had a seasonal mental health challenge, but not violent.
From mental problem to house rent renewal,just dey play!!!
I met him in the university, he was in medicine, he had dreams, very ambitious, one of the best in his department, Working his way to travel abroad to continue his education. We were just friends, but I liked him. He kept on asking me out, but I declined. I wanted to graduate first.
We parted ways in year two. He changed school, so, I knew nothing about him again till years later.
Reconnected with him years later after graduation, to my greatest surprise, he didn't graduate, wasted all his resources and couldn't travel out. We still love each other, so we got married.
after the birth of my first child, I wanted to leave him, but I couldn't because he was a good man, but with too many changes and I was the only one who truly care and was there for him.
Three years ago, he became much better. He got a small job, Started bringing in little for upkeep. I saw change and I was happy. We had our second child last year after 8yrs.
Since early this year, the whole thing came up again. Since then, he became jobless again.
The financial burden is all on me. Right now, we can't afford to renew our rent.
I lost my business capital some times ago in wrong business, since then, it has been so much struggles.

I'm trying hard but it's not enough.
I'm thinking of working away, but to where? what about my children? Who will be there for them? What about him? But I'm tired of being in a marriage where I have to struggle for everything, where I can not depend on my man.
Pls, help us renew our house rent.

What do I do?



Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Nobody: 8:39am On Jul 30, 2023
.

3 Likes

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by fyzaila: 8:49am On Jul 30, 2023
I don't know why members here on nairaland who need financial help will still have the nerve to create a new account. But why? It's ok if you create a new account to seek for advice or counselling but to solicit for financial help is a no no. If you want genuine help then you have to come out clean, there is nothing to be ashamed of and also helpers can be sure you're not a scammer.

Maybe, you have a bad record here or you don't want to bruise the ego you've been carrying on this forum.

117 Likes 9 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Yankee101: 8:57am On Jul 30, 2023
beautifulsoul12:
Yes.
We've tried and still trying.
They said is not attack. Family problem. We have been praying, maybe is yet time for God to intervine otherwise we have tried all our best

There’s a process
Mental illness has various types
He needs diagnosis then a prescription of requisite medication
The best place to take him to is a specialist psychiatrist
And if he is given medication, supervise him to ensure he takes it in the RIGHT quantity and time

What’s your location?

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Nobody: 8:57am On Jul 30, 2023
.

47 Likes 9 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Kaido: 9:01am On Jul 30, 2023
Don't give up, ma'am.

You can share your story on Twitter... someone might help

8 Likes

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Benwallt(m): 9:58am On Jul 30, 2023
You can't be tired o. Marriage is for better for worse

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by ChatterHouse: 10:06am On Jul 30, 2023
I don't like sob story


Madam if you need help state it


Maybe someone might help not by using emotional blackmail to solicit for support

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by ExudeLoveToAll: 10:06am On Jul 30, 2023
beautifulsoul12:
Yes.
We've tried and still trying.
They said is an attack. Family problem. We have been praying, maybe is yet time for God to intervine otherwise we have tried all our best

Leave superstitious believes and seek the help of a psychiatrist. His ailement should be known firstly and then medication follows.

17 Likes

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Purvan(m): 10:07am On Jul 30, 2023
Mental illness is not a bad thing


There are people that are living with mental illnesses and earning a living
Elon musk has aspengers syndrome

Find out the type of mental illness your husband has and look for a way to take care of it

Btw you and your husband need to go for marriage counseling

16 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by N3wman: 10:09am On Jul 30, 2023
beautifulsoul12:
Good morning everyone. I have to create this account to post this.
I can't even sleep at night lately.

I'm so tired and I need help right now. I have been doing this all by myself for so long now, without much complain but now, I need help.
Before I got married to my husband, I didn't know he had a seasonal mental health challenge, but not violent.

I met him in the university, he was in medicine, he had dreams, very ambitious, one of the best in his department, Working his way to travel abroad to continue his education. We were just friends, but I liked him. He kept on asking me out, but I declined. I wanted to graduate first.
We parted ways in year two. He changed school, so, I knew nothing about him again till years later.
Reconnected with him years later after graduation, to my greatest surprise, he didn't graduate, wasted all his resources and couldn't travel out. We still love each other, so we got married.
after the birth of my first child, I wanted to leave him, but I couldn't because he was a good man, but with too many changes and I was the only one who truly care and was there for him.
Three years ago, he became much better. He got a small job, Started bringing in little for upkeep. I saw change and I was happy. We had our second child last year after 8yrs.
Since early this year, the whole thing came up again. Since then, he became jobless again.
The financial burden is all on me. Right now, we can't afford to renew our rent.
I lost my business capital some times ago in wrong business, since then, it has been so much struggles.

I'm trying hard but it's not enough.
I'm thinking of working away, but to where? what about my children? Who will be there for them? What about him? But I'm tired of being in a marriage where I have to struggle for everything, where I can not depend on my man.
Pls, help us renew our house rent.

What do I do?




Most of the thing you mentioned are signs of depression caused by the situation of things. He was fine when he was making money, and when he lost his job he was back to being "mentally ill" He's just depressed, get medical help and counseling for that and don't wish the worse upon him.

31 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Jewessgratitud3: 10:16am On Jul 30, 2023
Madam, if you truly love him like you claim, don't leave him. He's now a part of you.

You know it's not his doing that he has mental health issues, the best you can do is help him get through this phase until he gets back on his feet again cos if you leave him, you may regret the outcome of your actions if he plunges deep into depression and it gets out of hands
Or leads him into the street. The shame will be on you and your children.

Don't think it is Rosy out there. Every one has one thing or the other they are passing through that even when you hear it, you'll thank God. It is not better out there.

So it's better you try and look for help and find something to do in the meantime. cover your shame/man until he can bounce back again. Lastly, don't forget to pray.

I

20 Likes

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Jewessgratitud3: 10:22am On Jul 30, 2023
poshestmina:
"Help us renew our house" undecided. lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Ehen? What problem do you have with that? Or has she dipped hands into your pocket to pay the rent? I don't understand.

If you can't help her, pass. before you spoil other people's mind towards her because that is what you're trying to start here now.

Until we find ourselves in certain conditions, we will never show empathy to others.

40 Likes 6 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Kobojunkie: 12:45pm On Jul 30, 2023
beautifulsoul12:
Yes.
We've tried and still trying.
They said is an attack. Family problem. We have been praying, maybe is yet time for God to intervine otherwise we have tried all our best
Praying for what exactly? You both went to school.... your husband a former medical student... and are both aware it is mental illness, yet you believe that claim that it is an attack? Are you saying that your husband is not currently getting treatment for the mental illness?

By the way, God does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous; the prayers, praises, vows, offerings, tithes, gifts, petitions, etc., of the unrighteous are made filthy by their sins and are hence an unholy abomination to God. You would have faired better if you had both first focused on making sure he got his daily treatment instead. It is not too late to start. And it will help should your kids ever encounter similar. undecided

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Newborn27(f): 12:48pm On Jul 30, 2023
Life is indeed a misery!


I pray God strengthen you and send help your way IJN.

4 Likes

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Kobojunkie: 12:48pm On Jul 30, 2023
Purvan:
■ Mental illness is not a bad thing. There are people that are living with mental illnesses and earning a living
Elon musk has aspengers syndrome. Find out the type of mental illness your husband has and look for a way to take care of it Btw you and your husband need to go for marriage counseling
Indeed. Mental illness is not a bad thing nor is it a result of sin or evil perpetrated. The man is not at fault for being mentally ill and most of the world's brilliant minds struggle with at least one mental illness or another meaning that if properly treated, many mentally ill can in fact excel even beyond the level of their peers. undecided

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by NairalandGossip: 1:01pm On Jul 30, 2023
jeromestarks:
Handle your problem alone.
You rejected good men who approached you when you were younger and beautiful to marry this mentally retardant.
You chose your destiny. You should suffer it alone.

Never pity a woman who is suffering in her home. Good men came for her but she rejected them saying "he's too short, he doesn't have money, he's to tall, he doesn't have a car etc" and settled for a guy who used suya to bribe her.

Many women wished the men they rejected came back. But guess what, none will come back.

you don't sound normal, or are you the mentally retarded husband

@op, if i had anything at all right now, i sincerely would have helped. Whether you are telling the truth or not, the fact that you come here means you need financial assistance. But the economy of this country has collapsed and things has become too tight for even the rich and average class.

16 Likes

Re: I'm Tired, My Husband Is Mentally Challenged by Nairalander248: 1:21pm On Jul 30, 2023
Hmm

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