Hello everyone.

Please I need an urgent advice from the mature minds here. I'm about to take a decision that has the potential to change the course of my life.

A quick background:
I come from a family consisting of five "children", of which I'm the fourth. Right from the days of my childhood, my parents and older siblings have had a firm control over me. They often dictated the friends I'd keep, placed I'd go to, where I should be, and almost how I should behave.

I was mostly indoors because they didn't want me playing around. That had an impact on my personality, because I couldn't master the ability to make friends, express myself confidently, and get involved in social activities that my peers relished.

Fastforward to this point:

I'm in my late 20s, a graduate and an NYSC cert holder, and although the level of control has been minimized, I still experience a bit of it. I don't have a place of my own for now, so I stay in the family house, but my older ones are independent in that aspect though they don't stay far from the family house.

I have a job too, but the salary is not even enough to take care of myself and support the home for a week.

Now here's the issue, I got a job offer from someone I served with during my NYSC, in a state about 8 hours from my current state of residence. It's the same job with the one I'm on right now (a teaching job) but with a slightly better payment return.

The person has a good relationship with the principal of the school, so according to him, the job is secure. I had to accept it because I'm tired of my current situation, and I'm tired of the life I'm living here -- my social life is next to zero, I don't have friends close by, I'm not socially active, and I need to explore. With my little savings, I plan to get an apartment as cheap as possible when I get there.

The problem is everyone is kicking against , because they're concerned about my safety, how I'm going to cope alone in this harsh economy. They've told me that if I decide to leave against their wish, that I'll be on my own and won't get their hands involved if anything goes wrong.

At the moment, I'm thinking of standing my ground and sticking to my decision, because I'm depressed from being in this environment, but I'm a bit afraid of my family cutting ties with me.

Please any advice? I really need some right now.

Thanks!

Well, explore life. If it turn out good, it becomes part of your history. If it turns out bad, you learn your lessons, but always keep your head high.

Travelling is a part of education itself....

Well,just like the saying goes--"Nothing good will ever come to you when you're in your comfort zone".


And that's the bitter truth......If you don't take the bull by the horns now,na when you go don clock 50+ dem go allow you to take decisions on your own?.....

The ball really lies in your court..

DestinedForGrea:
Hello everyone.

Please I need an urgent advice from the mature minds here. I'm about to take a decision that has the potential to change the course of my life.

A quick background:
I come from a family consisting of five "children", of which I'm the fourth. Right from the days of my childhood, my parents and older siblings have had a firm control over me. They often dictated the friends I'd keep, placed I'd go to, where I should be, and almost how I should behave.

I was mostly indoors because they didn't want me playing around. That had an impact on my personality, because I couldn't master the ability to make friends, express myself confidently, and get involved in social activities that my peers relished.

Fastforward to this point:

I'm in my late 20s, a graduate and an NYSC cert holder, and although the level of control has been minimized, I still experience a bit of it. I don't have a place of my own for now, so I stay in the family house, but my older ones are independent in that aspect though they don't stay far from the family house.

I have a job too, but the salary is not even enough to take care of myself and support the home for a week.

Now here's the issue, I got a job offer from someone I served with during my NYSC, in a state about 8 hours from my current state of residence. It's the same job with the one I'm on right now (a teaching job) but with a slightly better payment return.

The person has a good relationship with the principal of the school, so according to him, the job is secure. I had to accept it because I'm tired of my current situation, and I'm tired of the life I'm living here -- my social life is next to zero, I don't have friends close by, I'm not socially active, and I need to explore. With my little savings, I plan to get an apartment as cheap as possible when I get there.

The problem is everyone is kicking against , because they're concerned about my safety, how I'm going to cope alone in this harsh economy. They've told me that if I decide to leave against their wish, that I'll be on my own and won't get their hands involved if anything goes wrong.

At the moment, I'm thinking of standing my ground and sticking to my decision, because I'm depressed from being in this environment, but I'm a bit afraid of my family cutting ties with me.

Please any advice? I really need some right now.

Thanks!

Are you a female or male and do they also extend such control to the last born of the family, regardless, please accept the new offer by moving out of the family house....Best regards!

Go and make a way that is good for you, they will look after you

Exploring is good but nothing can compare to the security and support of a loving family. If deep down you know that your people love you, then please stay at home and continue making your little savings. Other opportunities that will not require you to go against your family, exhaust your savings and start suffering for nothing will come.

In this my little life I've explored oh! But success is sweeter when you succeed by defying wicked people. If you know your people are not wicked please listen to them at this time. There's really no hurry. Some are already 50yrs with nothing even after leaving home at 25.

Move asap !!!
A prophet is not respected at home
Birds can't fly in a cage
A ship is not meant for the shore.Move!!!

You cannot keep remaining in your comfort zone. Your family won't be there to protect you, the better. If I were you, I will defy their odds and leave immediately. Even if you eventually get to be drinking garri everyday, it's part of what you have to go through to become a real man. No woman will take a mummy's boy seriously and don't think you're getting any younger.

If you are making your own money, go rent your own house even if it is a one roof face-me-i slap-you. You will thank me later.

Before I can advise you, Are you a pinis or a Virginia?

saintopus:
Well, explore life. If it turn out good, it becomes part of your history. If it turns out bad, you learn your lessons, but always keep your head high.

Thank you, bless you for this.

Sonnobax15:

Travelling is a part of education itself....

Well,just like the saying goes--"Nothing good will ever come to you when you're in your comfort zone".


And that's the bitter truth......If you don't take the bull by the horns now,na when you go don clock 50+ dem go allow you to take decisions on your own?.....

The ball really lies in your court..

My desire is to take the bull by the horns, inspite of the conquences.

Thanks.

2special:
Are you a female or male and do they also extend such control to the last born of the family, regardless, please accept the new offer by moving out of the family house....Best regards!

Thank you.

I'm a male, I'm sorry I should have stated that initially.

hakeemhakeem:
Go and make a way that is good for you, they will look after you

Thank you.

Look after me? They've made themselves clear that I'm on my own if they leave, and I think I'm prepared for that.

Nebes:
Exploring is good but nothing can compare to the security and support of a loving family. If deep down you know that your people love you, then please stay at home and continue making your little savings. Other opportunities that will not require you to go against your family, exhaust your savings and start suffering for nothing will come.

In this my little life I've explored oh! But success is sweeter when you succeed by defying wicked people. If you know your people are not wicked please listen to them at this time. There's really no hurry. Some are already 50yrs with nothing even after leaving home at 25.

Thanks for this sir.

My family is loving and caring, I love them so much but they're overprotective, and it's a form of limitation for me.

matrixme:
You cannot keep remaining in your comfort zone. Your family won't be there to protect you, the better. If I were you, I will defy their odds and leave immediately. Even if you eventually get to be drinking garri everyday, it's part of what you have to go through to become a real man. No woman will take a mummy's boy seriously and don't think you're getting any younger.

Thanks for this.

But what if they cut ties with me and then I need them in the future?

DenreleDave:
Before I can advise you, Are you a pinis or a Virginia?

Male.

DestinedForGrea:

Male.

Leave if you want to leave...... Go and be your own man but before you leave, make plans well well so you know go run back to them in a short time

Skyview01:
If you are making your own money, go rent your own house even if it is a one roof face-me-i slap-you. you will thank me later.

Thanks.

Had an experience?

DestinedForGrea:

Thanks.

Had an experience?

Yes. My mom.

I told her to her face that i was an adult now and she could not control my life anymore..
She was hurt as i was her fav. child sort of.

My regret was not leaving home early to get my own place at the time.

DestinedForGrea:
Hello everyone.

Please I need an urgent advice from the mature minds here. I'm about to take a decision that has the potential to change the course of my life.

A quick background:
I come from a family consisting of five "children", of which I'm the fourth. Right from the days of my childhood, my parents and older siblings have had a firm control over me. They often dictated the friends I'd keep, placed I'd go to, where I should be, and almost how I should behave.

I was mostly indoors because they didn't want me playing around. That had an impact on my personality, because I couldn't master the ability to make friends, express myself confidently, and get involved in social activities that my peers relished.

Fastforward to this point:

I'm in my late 20s, a graduate and an NYSC cert holder, and although the level of control has been minimized, I still experience a bit of it. I don't have a place of my own for now, so I stay in the family house, but my older ones are independent in that aspect though they don't stay far from the family house.

I have a job too, but the salary is not even enough to take care of myself and support the home for a week.

Now here's the issue, I got a job offer from someone I served with during my NYSC, in a state about 8 hours from my current state of residence. It's the same job with the one I'm on right now (a teaching job) but with a slightly better payment return.

The person has a good relationship with the principal of the school, so according to him, the job is secure. I had to accept it because I'm tired of my current situation, and I'm tired of the life I'm living here -- my social life is next to zero, I don't have friends close by, I'm not socially active, and I need to explore. With my little savings, I plan to get an apartment as cheap as possible when I get there.

The problem is everyone is kicking against , because they're concerned about my safety, how I'm going to cope alone in this harsh economy. They've told me that if I decide to leave against their wish, that I'll be on my own and won't get their hands involved if anything goes wrong.

At the moment, I'm thinking of standing my ground and sticking to my decision, because I'm depressed from being in this environment, but I'm a bit afraid of my family cutting ties with me.

Please any advice? I really need some right now.

Thanks!

Your family loves you, but you have to start taking risks that will build you up as a man

Everything in this life is a risk

If you are sure of this job offer, you accept it and be ready to take a bold step to start finding your bearing now before you loose the ability to stand as a man

If you stay on your own by getting an accommodation., you will face challenges but those challenges are what you need to build you up as a man

From there, you will understand what it is to start living outside your family

Among all the challenges you will face is, women

They will come around you and flaunt themselves on you and if you are not principled, you are hooked already with pregnancy

If you know that your salary can't sustain just you alone then don't get entangled with women because that web is for experienced men

The summary is take that hold decisions and relocate

Your family will never neglect you but make sure you don't come back to them for assistance

Rather come back to visit them and impress them with love to show them that you are ok and they will be happier with you

Lastly, make sure your parents prays for you and especially your mum for favour and success as you take that bold step

Good luck

That's why I mentioned the comfort zone issue. You only feel you need them in the future when things go south and you're back to their arms, so they tell you "we told you so".
You must burn your bridges and take a manly decision. It's not like you're exactly cutting them off. You can always call and check up on them. They will understand eventually

DestinedForGrea:

Thanks for this.

But what if they cut ties with me and then I need them in the future?

DenreleDave:


Leave if you want to leave...... Go and be your own man but before you leave, make plans well well so you know go run back to them in a short time

Thanks.

Skyview01:


Yes. My mom.

I told her to her face that i am an adult now and she could not control my life anymore..
She was hurt as i was her fav. child sort of.

My regret was not leaving home early to get my own place at the time.

Oh! My mom is being unusually nicer to me, to see if I'll change my mind. She doesn't know my mind is made up.

I will have to hurt her when I break the news to her the day before I leave, but she'll get used to it.

Thanks for your advice though.

frozen70:


Your family loves you, but you have to start taking risks that will build you up as a man

Every thing in this life is a risk

If you are sure of this job offer, you accept it and be ready to take a step to start finding your bearing now before you loose the ability to stand as a man

If you stay on your own by getting an accommodation., you will face challenges but those challenges are what you need to build you up as a man

From their, you will understand what it is to start living outside your family

Among all the challenges you will face, is women

They will come around you and flaunt themselves on you and if you are not principled, you are hooked already with pregnancy

If you know that your salary can't sustain just you alone then don't get entangled with women because that web is for experienced men

The summary is take that hold decisions and relocate
Your family an never neglect you but make sure you don't come back to them for assistance

Rather come back to visit them and impress them with love to show them that you are ok and they will be happier with you

Lastly, make sure your parents prays for you and especially your mum for favour and success as you take that bold step

Thanks, Frozen.

You're never short of good counsel.

matrixme:
That's why I mentioned the comfort zone issue. You only feel you need them in the future when things go south and you're back to their arms, so they tell you "we told you so".
You must burn your bridges and take a manly decision. It's not like you're exactly cutting them off. You can always call and check up on them. They will understand eventually

I hope they understand, because they seem dogged about their stance, especially my older siblings.

Thanks though.

Because maybe u don't have money 🤑
Have money and pack out of family house

Depends on where you are my brother. If you are in an Area where the Military have not yet fully flushed out the most heartless Brutish Killers in Nigeria (they have really tried for majority parts of the Nation since President Tinubu gave them matching order) then, better still stay with your family till the Military has flushed them out from your Forests and Farms too. Have you seen the trending video of that handsome young Nasarawa Farmer holding his 2nd Hand that was cut off by the Fulenni herdsmen just yesterday?! Imagine if their person continued in Power as President of Nigeria, God forbid!

Zd

Go out and hustle