She's interested in staying with him because she still loves him and she was only trying to teach him a lesson for destroying her dishes and beating her up.

She's been tolerating him all these years hoping that he'll change, but she's finally reached a breaking point.

And let's be honest here, if she leaves now, he'll be homeless.

Luckysbab:


So why is she still interested in staying on with him, if it is as she painted it?

Most of you are fond of putting out only the half truths.

UnfairLife7:
Your Emilokan is a puppet to the west. The West cannot be a standard but keep progressing while your shithole country keep retrogressing. Your country top the ladder of poverty and unemployed graduates. Your people in Nigeria cannot afford food anymore. After school, your youths are either jobless, underemployed or indulge in cyber fraud. Don't worry you will soon buy a bag of rice 60k before Xmas. The countries you think are bad are mile ahead your shithole country.

All your leaders, past and present beg to have their passport. 99.9% Nigerians wouldn't think twice to denounce your weak passport over the country passport

Please change your perceptions, be patriotic, we might have our issues as a result of poor leadership, corruption etc but Nigeria will flourish again. Above all be cautious of some comments you make online. God bless Nigeria

Samantha124:
And I can see that I'm coversing with a woman beater, sooner or later you will learn manning up mentally is inevitable too...😂😂😂

I can sympathize with your point of view. Jumping to conclude that I'm a woman beater or in support of one shows how most women are guided by emotions and not proper logic and reasoning.
You will grow up one day.

Samantha124:
She's interested in staying with him because she still loves him and she was only trying to teach him a lesson for destroying her dishes and beating her up.

She's been tolerating him all these years hoping that he'll change, but she's finally reached a breaking point.

And let's be honest here, if she leaves now, he'll be homeless.

Being homeless isn't the end of a man's life. He has friends and family.

She should give him a breather. Perhaps, it's time he gets a fresh start, devoid of her.

Football players whose careers nosedived sometimes have to leave to another football club to get back on their feet.

I doubt she's helping, as this is entirely diffrent from tolerating him.

Samantha124:
She's interested in staying with him because she still loves him and she was only trying to teach him a lesson for destroying her dishes and beating her up.

She's been tolerating him all these years hoping that he'll change, but she's finally reached a breaking point.

And let's be honest here, if she leaves now, he'll be homeless.

They say '"love conquers" all. Hers hasn't conquered his misery. Maybe it isn't love afterall.

[color=#550000][/color]

Kobojunkie:
Persevere in what sense? Stay in the same home with a man who let his frustrations led him to use her as a punching bad? He still doesn't have a job so he is still frustrated.

Are you suggesting the man has no understanding even after 2 whole years that the person who has been housing and feeding him is a human being?

2. Prayer for what exactly? That the man doesn't come back and break her head next time? Do you know how long Osinachi must have prayed only to end up wormfood after it all? Why una dey like prescribe prayer where commonsense supposed be the best option?

Please what do you suggest she do? Being jobless for 2 years doesn't mean he wouldn't eventually ever get a job. Are you saying she should run away and leave the kids with him knowing fully well that he doesn't have the financial capacity to cater for them at the moment? Or are you suggesting that she takes the kids with her away from the husband?

thesicilian:
A man can feed his family for years and no one will hear about it. He's often proud to bear the responsibility. But the moment a woman starts bearing the responsibility, all hell must break loose, sooner or later

My brother...!

thesicilian:
A man can feed his family for years and no one will hear about it. He's often proud to bear the responsibility. But the moment a woman starts bearing the responsibility, all hell must break loose, sooner or later

True talk my brnther

Samantha124:
Age is nothing but a number and respect is earned.

You can't expect me to respect you as my elderly while you're acting childish, and if my actions were wrong, my family wouldn't have supported me and she wouldn't have apologized.

Everyone who supported you is a partner to setting you on flames. It's not uncommon for everyone to support a child though, while hoping one day, they'll grow someday.

You already sound as though a goddess around there... Time my friend, is a good teacher.

Regardless of your intent, locking your sister up is wrong, indiscipline, uncouth and arrant nonsense.

thesicilian:
A man can feed his family for years and no one will hear about it. He's often proud to bear the responsibility. But the moment a woman starts bearing the responsibility, all hell must break loose, sooner or later

Bros you’re talking nonsense. No where was it ever designed by nature for a woman to bear responsibility of a home affairs. It’s nonsense. That man has to get a job or a skill to feed th family. Why should he beat the wife, if she was your sister, will you find it funny. Especially the accusations of sleeping around. All you lazy men in this forum may you all be delivered 🤮

Nemesis0147:
Wetin poverty go do man for this life ba..e no get wetin that woman go fit do the husband that will make him lock her up in the the police cell….I’m not in support of domestic violence oh but there are better ways to handle things like that….what about moving out until the man comes to his senses?
That man pride has been punctured for life!!

You’re interested in pride when some men kill the wife for barely no reason but frustrations of life, bro you’re not a good person. What if the guy smashed her head and she lost consciousness or died nko. You people are the reason why some men feel entitled to beat the wife. Disgusting.

Stevedison:
[color=#550000]Please what do you suggest she do? Being jobless for 2 years doesn't mean he wouldn't eventually ever get a job. Are you saying she should run away and leave the kids with him knowing fully well that he doesn't have the financial capacity to cater for them at the moment? Or are you suggesting that she takes the kids with her away from the husband?

The man's joblessness is not the reason OP created this thread. I get the sense that she would have continued to support her family as she has for the past 2 years had remained jobless for even the next 5 years. The problem is the violence. The man she has been caring for has turned violent against her and she is confused as to what to do next after the traumatic experience.

Sadly, she would need to take the kids with her because there is no stopping him from taking his anger out on the kids if she isn't there to take the beatings from him. But, yes, she needs to leave or have him leave so he can go tend to his frustrations elsewhere where he does not end up hurting them more than he already has.

Kobojunkiee:
There are many marriages world over that have recovered successfully after even such an intervention by the cops. But here you seem to think it impossible because of some stories you have heard or experienced in your own life. How come? Last I checked, it takes two — not culture or society — to make a marriage work. OP wants to try resolving her marriage even after this. Her husband may decide in the near future to get back his marriage. Why do you think or feel your culture should play a role in deciding for them what they can or cannot have in their marriage?

U are referring to the west but why does the same west have the highest divorce rate across the globe? Do u think something's about the west are better than our culture? Am not against op trying to resolve her marriage but u can't take a fatal step and not expect a fatal wound in that marriage.Since u are ready to accept the ways of the west in regards to marriage as perfect or better than our culture's,u should also be ready to accept same -sex marriage too since the west are perfect in handling marital issues that makes them have the highest divorce rate on planet earth

UnfairLife7:
don't mind those brain dead men. To them happy marriage is once they are still together irrespective of the situation then they are happily married. African Men

UnAfrican man, take his place, marry her. No be by lunatic laughter.

Pretender osi.

Kobojunkie:
OP played superwoman for 2 years so she probably has it in her to try to make the marriage work.

The marriage is over. Bring in your perfect UnAfrican man to marry her.

wonderr:
it's always very easy to criticize people's actions when you are not in their shoes, whatever she did was out of frustration, although she should have subjugated the issue she let her emotions took the best of her and now she is facing the consequences, the deed has be done na solution remain find elderly people to help you beg him, join hands with him to get a new job, so issues like this won't repeat itself be supportive, this too shall pass

Oh! Her emotions is allowed to get the better of her, but the already frustrated husband is supposed to be a robot with no emotional outburst?

Nothing is passing, let the 'caring' male friend that helped her arrange for the police take her in. The man deserves a new chapter in his life.

blackgold2018:
examining your comments and topic. I can bet you have cheated on your husband or have been cheating on him

It's not unlikely it's a 'sympathetic male colleague/friend' that facilitated the whole arrestt thing.

Samantha124:
Well, what he did was unlawful and if you ask me, you did the right thing by getting him arrested.

Let it be a warning to him that next time you wouldn't be lenient on him.... You can apologize to him for getting him arrested, but let him know that you don't appreciate what he did to you and you're not going to stand for it if he continues with his behavior.

It's not your fault that he lost his job and can't find another one.

Lol no offense. I think this zulu people are not smart at all. Or maybe this one is just displaying ignorance like some other young ladies.

shantti:
It might shock una to know that the op's husband might have just simply shoved her aside as she blocked him from entering the house and she claimed she was beaten.

Women can exaggerate stories oh, I know this cos am a victim.

You are wise.

Verysmart101:
■ U are referring to the west but why does the same west have the highest divorce rate across the globe? Do u think something's about the west are better than our culture? Am not against op trying to resolve her marriage but u can't take a fatal step and not expect a fatal wound in that marriage.Since u are ready to accept the ways of the west in regards to marriage as perfect or better than our culture's,u should also be ready to accept same -sex marriage too since the west are perfect in handling marital issues that makes them have the highest divorce rate on planet earth

I am at all referring only to the at the West. Many couples right there in your very Nigeria were joined not under traditional ideas but in the courts. So, it is safe to say that culture does not rule over every Nigerian marriage as many of you here would rather like for us all to believe.

So, again, if a man and a woman were to decide to, after this sort of hiccup in their marriage, move forward with the marriage, why do you believe they should no be allowed to do just that?

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

My dear, I have been married for over 15 years and you must understand that men have ego issues. That's why he is depressed

To start with, I dont know how many kids you have but that doesn't sound like a good environment to raise them. I'll suggest you go to take them and stay with your parents/family for a while.

It will take the special grace for him to forgive, you can go over once a week to prepare meals the week.

Your husband needs to spend sometime on his own. He needs to reflect and think properly for now

Luckysbab:
■ The marriage is over. Bring in your perfect UnAfrican man to marry her.

The way some of you think amazes me. So every marriage in Africa now abides by African culture, abi?

LilMissFavvy:
The west is a standard and will always be a standard. Between being a supporter of LGBT and being a supporter of your corrupt, impoverished*, backward* religious extremist nation, who burn* humans in the name of religion, plus insecurity problems, which is better? Only a foool would support the latter.

Same West where a man starts shooting people for no understandable reason? You are a dullard.

LilMissDumbo

Kobojunkiee:
The way some of you think amazes me. So every marriage in Africa now abides by African culture, abi?

Bring in your perfect African man to replace her husband.

I repeat, age is nothing but a number and respect is earned.

darealez:


Everyone who supported you is a partner to setting you on flames. It's not uncommon for everyone to support a child though, while hoping one day, they'll grow someday.

You already sound as though a goddess around there... Time my friend, is a good teacher.

Regardless of your intent, locking your sister up is wrong, indiscipline, uncouth and arrant nonsense.

LadyRosa:


I hope he signed an undertaking.

You are a good woman.

I would have kept him there for atleast a week, after which my brothers my likely extend it to a month.

Yet, you couldn't get your brothers to help you loc out the cricket the last time?

Well, thank goodness I'm not a Zulu.

tollyboy5:

Lol no offense. I think this zulu people are not smart at all. Or maybe this one is just displaying ignorance like some other young ladies.

So you expected her love to conquer his misery by enduring his beatings and probably getting killed in the process?

If the man is miserable, he should've went to the gym and fought a punching bag in there... I'm sure the op is also miserable from enduring her husband's childish tantrums.

Luckysbab:


They say '"love conquers" all. Hers hasn't conquered his misery. Maybe it isn't love afterall.

LadyRosa:
Some women dey try sha!

Whats fixcking attractive about a Jobless, drunk, vindictive and abusive husband?

The first mistake was apologising to him. I wouldn’t if I'm in your shoes. And I ain't leaving that station until he sign an undertaking with sureties.

If he feels he is too humiliated to continue a peaceful marriage, well, fine. Life goes on.

As a madam with men at your beck and call, you should be telling her to move out without further delays so she can move in with the perfect man that will be replacing her husband.

Samantha124:
So you expected her love to conquer his misery by enduring his beatings and probably getting killed in the process?

If the man is miserable, he should've went to the gym and fought a punching bag in there... I'm sure the op is also miserable from enduring her husband's childish tantrums.

Her love is useless to him.

She is miserable from putting up with him.

What else is left until she lets the man loose from her suffocation?

She's not holding him back and if he wants to leave, then he should leave.

I'm sure the op would be happy and finally have a peace of mind.

The man is ungrateful for mistreating the woman that has been by his side all these years... He doesn't deserve such a good woman.

Luckysbab:


Being homeless isn't the end of a man's life. He has friends and family.

She should give him a breather. Perhaps, it's time he gets a fresh start, devoid of her.

Football players whose careers nosedived sometimes have to leave to another football club to get back on their feet.

I doubt she's helping, as this is entirely diffrent from tolerating him.

And you will man up one day, so shut the hell up!!!

superemmy:


I can sympathize with your point of view. Jumping to conclude that I'm a woman beater or in support of one shows how most women are guided by emotions and not proper logic and reasoning.
You will grow up one day.