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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days (52134 Views)
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Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by henrydav: 4:12am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Samantha124:You just believe everything she said just like that? 2 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Bigtitilayo: 4:28am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:poster pls take this advice to avoid story that touches the heart ooo cos dis is how it use to start ooo before u know it now one go die for another for d sake of ur children u have seeing d red flag now excuse ursef pls ire ooo 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Gerrard59(m): 4:39am On Aug 23, 2023 |
UnfairLife7: Thank you! Being without a job for two years is one thing. Indulging in drinking and smoking (I wonder where he gets the money from) is another thing. As it is, having him in that house is dangerous for her. The best option now is divorce. As a young man growing up, I know that a man's value is tied to his pockets. I have seen countless examples of men who had money but currently don't have, and how they got treated. That is fine. However, smoking and drinking worsens the case. If he was doing nothing, that is a different case. If he was being a sit-at-home dad and being unemployed, different thing. But not contributing to the household YET smoking and drinking WHILE unemployed is a very stoopid thing to do. Lots of irresponsible men these days. If OP na my sister, I will push her to file a divorce and fund the entire process. I hate irresponsible people! 5 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by pansophist(m): 4:43am On Aug 23, 2023 |
If I will ever lock anybody, then it means I have simultaneously decided to discard that relationship once and for all. This is a classical case of legality versus culture.. Did she do anything wrong legally to arrest her husband? Of course not. But from a moral standpoint, it is not the best method of conflict resolution. Humans are more animals than civilized. You can't lock your husband up and still sleep in the same bed with him. He might be seething vengeance in his heart, and when he will strike, it may be your end. Your husband messed up big time, but before calling the police on him, you should have decided that your marriage is as good as gone. Persephone1 made a similar comment, and I agree with her. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Akhaz024: 5:03am On Aug 23, 2023 |
I saw most people are supporting op action I still believe she shouldn't have carried out that act arresting her husband who is also the father of her children. Because if it was the other way round will you say that the husband also has the right to arrest his wife who is also the mother of your children. Looking at things I don't believe a man will sit down at home for two years without contributing at all and he will feel comfortable with it. And probably you have done something that triggered upset him. I am not in support of domestic violence, if op believes the man is completely useless then she should be prepare the outcome of her actions without feeling remorseful. Been remorseful means there are still a lot that has not been said and she's still interested in him. Op should tried to be careful from whom you take advise from because once things get back to normal for the man they won't be there to plead on your behalf. 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by nick50(m): 5:07am On Aug 23, 2023 |
in as much as I haven't heard ur husband's side of the story I completely fault ur actions towards ur husband but from ur statement u singlehandedly ruined ur family..growing up I have seen alot happen between couples..why u no take d matter to ur husband's parents or ur own parents?..just because u are seeing little change u want to oppress and jail ur husband..u were d one dat said ur husband has been good since u got married and u know wat he is passing through so why cant u still accord him same respect and love like before?? u forgot so fast how he use to endure the abuses u inflict on him during ur pregnancy days,how would u feel I u offended him n he locked u up?,,listen very carefully u see 99% of those women both online and offline advising and cheering u on to spoil ur home will tolerate more than this in thier relationship..next time please don't seek advice from women or Simpson.. u would have gone to ur parents for advice before going to police station..I m very sure ur parents would be ashamed of u..by the way who bought those items he was destroying? are they not his properties? indeed women are thier worst enemies..don't be suprised if tomorrow after ur husband might have divorced u he will settle down with one of ur female advisers na dat time ur eyes go clear.. 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UDUJ(m): 5:19am On Aug 23, 2023 |
pansophist: Seconded 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by maasoap(m): 5:35am On Aug 23, 2023 |
PastorFire4Fire:A broken marriage is better than living with a lazy, frustrated, violent, destructive man and abuser. It might be hard on the woman in the beginning but she will still have her life. Do you see where this man stops if he wasn't given this soft brain resetting treatment? 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Fatotes5588(m): 5:47am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Obviously from ur post his highly depressed n this has been on for long You also cut him off sexually And you actions n inaction shows the heart to heart communication ends long time ago Firstly lost of jobs to men who sees responsibilities had their right is a great lost n can cause depress but it takes a wisdom woman to leave with such man in Continuation without leading to issues If violence pop in with arguments the best is to set apart for a while Firstly no matter how rich or educated a woman may be in Africa culture must be followed Same with men U don’t go to court in Africa to settle dispute n expect the relationship to be the same For the hitting U should have find a way of leaving the house with your kids since I have that option to loosing yourself from him n go to the station. I can see your have learnt your lesson Meanwhile he can never forget it but with time it will heal Try to engage people he love n fear most to settle it n make promise to them while you n them can safe guide him in starting small till he can get back on his feet For the children it might be because his not the one giving them what they want as he used to that make him see their actions as been rude You should know better how to handle this n not show off as the new bread winner of the house I know if his in advance word he wouldn’t try such but this is Africa 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Nobody: 5:57am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Dogalmighty17:you obviously do not have sense 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by malcom1X: 5:59am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Samantha124: Was it about food? Lolz the man is frustrated because the wife no longer gives him sex, and she purposely did that because he no longer find the man attractive after he lost his job. The man was about to have sex with her hence the struggling. Don't argue what you don't know. There are things that are obvious that she has omitted from this |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by darkmarky(m): 6:03am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Verokeena:you'll kill your husband one day with your hands and cry that you didnt know what came over you. 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by eteebanky: 6:23am On Aug 23, 2023 |
He deserved that cos he is a woman beater 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 6:29am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Satanistx:super story 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by LadyRosa(f): 6:31am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Luckysbab: Must she move in with another man? I only advice if the husband feels disrespected for being reported to the police, he should take his drunk @ss elsewhere! Nigeria is already a hell hole, adding a useless man to the equation is a death sentence. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 6:31am On Aug 23, 2023 |
nick50:domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by LadyRosa(f): 6:32am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Luckysbab: The cricket died finally. My brothers also dare not touch their wives, they must be stupid if they do that!Very Stupid! 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by LadyRosa(f): 6:36am On Aug 23, 2023 |
shantti: No! A peaceful marriage is one where a jobless man must be a pain in the a$$!!! Being jobless is part of living, remaining jobless and not trying to make a living at a point becomes a lifestyle. His mental and emotional problems will not be solved by alcohol nor abusing his wife. If he feels the wife is committing adultery, he should leave the house and stop tormenting the woman! If my own brother should try this, I will ostracise him. But I no get brothers wey dem no born well. ![]() |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 6:38am On Aug 23, 2023 |
shantti:I laugh at your sorry ass if you think every man reason like you ![]() The fact that I'm a man doesn't mean i should support my fellow man blindly. Not me nor any sensible men out there. Maybe every other men supporting Op on this platform are also women. Very warped reasoning 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 6:41am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Intergrated:what do you expect her to do please? To watch him kill her or disfigure her face and body like some of you lots behave? Domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that. Besides, i super love women who can stand for themselves. That alone gives me endless erection ![]() If you like beat your wife, you go sleep for cell for days. If your wife is too naive to stand for herself your neighbours will do that for her free of charge. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Emotionss: 6:41am On Aug 23, 2023 |
[color=#006600][/color] A40: If the husband was a millionaire would she have called the police on him ? She could have used the police to threatened him. Make him take an undertaking never to lay is Hands on her again. She could have taken the children and move to her parents house pending on when the husband puts his life in order.... There are many effective ways She could have used to TEACH the husband a lesson. locking him up is not one of those ways unless she is no longer interested in the marriage... by locking him up she has unintentionally destroyed her home... I can assure you the husband believes that his wife locked him up because he is jobless, broke and depressed and nothing you tell that man will change his mind. You can't imagine that level of resentment that man now have towards the wife... As I said earlier by locking him up especially with his current financial and unemployment status, she has unintentionally destroyed her marriage. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by LadyRosa(f): 6:42am On Aug 23, 2023 |
shantti: Perpetual fear! Guy preek no be problem oooo If na that one you won take halla, PREEK NO BE PROBLEM,na women wey no get enough stress already dey carry man for head, not me. I no marry with that una Nigeria mentality oo.I respect my husband and my husband respects himself. And yes, my husband knows I can lock him up if he abuses me. So it won't come to him as surprise because during marriage counselling I told him outright! If he wants to be foolish, he should take it out of our matrimonial home. And yes! He is the bread winner! No be me dey feed am. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by shantti(m): 6:42am On Aug 23, 2023 |
UnfairLife7: Demanding for an answer u have refused to give me means am warped and insensible right? Lol No man thinks like u U r a woman It's apparent in the way you deviate and retort to baseless accusations That's a woman's signature So let me ask again If a husband assaulted by his wife arrests her, will u support him? Yes or no? |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 6:43am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Styluss:he didn't go to prison but cell. Domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 6:45am On Aug 23, 2023 |
shantti:women doesn't physically abuse men. But if paradventure it happened the man is free like a birds to get her arrested for violence Maybe every other men supporting Op on this platform are also women. 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by shantti(m): 6:47am On Aug 23, 2023 |
LadyRosa: Am talking about life after locking him not before locking him, No matter the kind of mentality you think you have, u will not be comfortable staying under the same roof with him when he leave the cell, u don't know what he has in mind. Forget Abt all these your rantings, imagination is different from reality. Even me as a man can't live with someone I locked in the cell, he might kill me in my sleep. The highlight is that such a marriage will be automatically over, that's the truth, the marriage cannot continue. 2 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 6:48am On Aug 23, 2023 |
superemmy:if you like beat your wife, you will sleep in cell for days. If your wife is too naive to stand for herself your neighbours will do that for her free of charge. Keep defending domestic violence |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by shantti(m): 6:50am On Aug 23, 2023 |
UnfairLife7: Lol women don't physically abuse men? Bye |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by DipsonGiggs: 6:54am On Aug 23, 2023 |
I'm really surprised almost everyone here just believed this woman like that even married men. So, you all think this woman is going to come on here and write stuff against herself? You joking. Few of the things I know women do in this kind of situation cos your husband is now jobless is to deprive him of sex, verbally attack him at any given opportunity cos she's now the breadwinner of the family. They are so quick to forget all the millions, sacrifices and stress[ the man had invested to get the relationship to that stage. It would not be a surprise if this woman has another guy outside. Never should you think a man and a woman will fight and the woman will narate the whole truth of the story. If truly she's done the right thing, why is she feeling guilty. She knows all what she did to her husband is unfair and all lies, and now that she sees that her actions is about ending the marriage, she's now trying to make us believe she's feeling guilty. Let me ask you, for that whole 2 years you said you have been the breadwinner, you really think you did all that for your husband? They are just for you and your kids majorly cos it's the kids and wife that do consume most of the profits that any household gets. So you having the oppourtunity to do it is a marriage score for you. And it's very rare that a man who's been feeding you all all these while won't be able to feed his own mouth alone just cos he doesn't have a job, it's likely very impossible. quote author=henrydav post=125297209] You just believe everything she said just like that?[/quote] 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by target100: 6:55am On Aug 23, 2023 |
I am not surprisedat your suddenoutburston Nigeria, men that have the liver have shredded their passport, denounced the great Nigeria and moved on, you can simplydo the same so you can be in peace with your abroad expectations until abroad happens to you. On the issue of arrest, what has been done has been done and if she wishes to press charges she should see ut to finish but note that lockingup without a court order is equally an abuse of the system then to spice it all you then involved his friendsto go and beg him ( talk of humiliation pro max ) if heisstrong he may come out of it but if he breaks at anytime, his life and yours may be in serious danger. I wishyour marriage/family a speedy recovery. Verokeena: |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 6:55am On Aug 23, 2023 |
Verysmart101:LOl You think women are happy in their marriage in Nigeria? Most of them put up with their spouses because of the nonesense culture sold to them which had led to death of several women in marriage while some miserable. Some stick to the marriage because of finance. An average naija women is ready to dish her hubby if she has a good financial back-up |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by target100: 6:56am On Aug 23, 2023 |
On the issue of arrest, what has been done has been done and if she wishes to press charges she should see ut to finish but note that lockingup without a court order is equally an abuse of the system then to spice it all you then involved his friendsto go and beg him ( talk of humiliation pro max ) if heisstrong he may come out of it but if he breaks at anytime, his life and yours may be in serious danger. I wishyour marriage/family a speedy recovery My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) . What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit) Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home) When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) .. He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me.. I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me.. The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number I don't just know what to do... Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him[/quote] |
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