PastorFire4Fire:


Nobody is asking her to leave her marriage but the question is, was the man like this from the onset? He lost his job and he is depressed. Why not help him talk to people about getting another job and let him see your effort on that.

and who told you she hasn't done that several times? A woman who can put up with you for 2 years without any source of income. You should know that is the least of what she can do. It is easier to tell people that you need job. The most important thing is for those people go out of their way to help out

The question you should rather ask is what has the man doing to get s job? Is he sitting idle daily or making efforts by going out in search of job?
Instead of him to respect and honour a woman who could stick with him in his trying time. He resorted to violence

Dominic violence is a No.

Luckysbab:


I doubt it’s simply a Nigerian thing alone.

LOl


Western countries do not think twice before going for divorce if they aren't happy in their marriage.

LadyRosa:



Must she move in with another man?
I only advice if the husband feels disrespected for being reported to the police, he should take his drunk @ss elsewhere!

Nigeria is already a hell hole, adding a useless man to the equation is a death sentence.

But she still desires a man’s company obviously.

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

Stop disturbing yourself. You did the right thing. If he had killed you, Nairaland will blame you for accepting the first beating. He is unhappy because he doesn’t have a job doesn’t mean he should beat you. If you continue to beg him, he will really believe that you owe him an apology. Love and respect him, but love and respect yourself and your kids also.

Move forward and encourage him to move forward. Treat him well and stop going over the past.

UnfairLife7:
LOl


Western countries do not think twice before going for divorce if they aren't happy in their marriage.

True.

But it hasn’t exactly turned out well for them too. The kids raised by a single parent are more prone to being a societal menace statistically.

sweetrace:


Stop disturbing yourself. You did the right thing. If he had killed you, Nairaland will blame you for accepting the first beating. He is unhappy because he doesn’t have a job doesn’t mean he should beat you. If you continue to beg him, he will really believe that you owe him an apology. Love and respect him, but love and respect yourself and your kids also.

Move forward and encourage him to move forward. Treat him well and stop going over the past.

Keyword - Treat him well (or let him go).

Were you there in the house when it happened?

malcom1X:


Was it about food?
Lolz the man is frustrated because the wife no longer gives him sex, and she purposely did that because he no longer find the man attractive after he lost his job.

The man was about to have sex with her hence the struggling.
Don't argue what you don't know.

There are things that are obvious that she has omitted from this

Yes, because if it was a man, you'd have done the same thing.

henrydav:

You just believe everything she said just like that?

Samantha124:
And you will man up one day, so shut the hell up!!!

Bad women are so predictable. So now you’re resorting to insulting someone online who you’ve never met.

He quoted me first and insulted me.

How come you skipped his insults and decided to quote me and not him?

superemmy:


Bad women are so predictable. So now you’re resorting to insulting someone online who you’ve never met.

UnfairLife7:
LOl

You think women are happy in their marriage in Nigeria? Most of them put up with their spouses because of the nonesense culture sold to them which had led to death of several women in marriage while some miserable. Some stick to the marriage because of finance. An average naija women is ready to dish her hubby if she has a good financial back-up

They can do so but with time they will realise money isn't everything.Go and ask European and American women wat they go through at their mid-ages upwards.Thats y Nigerian boys easily scam them with love etc.There are consequences for stupidity and foolishness.Most of these European women have children and money and are divorced yet they still seek love at old age.Just dey play.Before u emulate something check from beginning to the ending before copying something.

Persephone1:
Lol I understand how Nigerian marriages works, I understand how infallible Nigerian men are in a Nigerian society. It's the reason I don't pray to end up with one.

Lol .. don't tell me you prefer Foreign Men...cos it's worse with them...abi u nor plan to Marry

braine:
This marriage is over.

Just wait till he is able to find his feet, then you'll know wassup.

This is one of the many problems that men without money face. It is well.

And being subjected to violence by a drunk who can't provide is not a problem women face?

The man's problem is all you could see from your "logical" perspective?

Sit down dey look.
You have done well apologized to him despite you didn't offend him.

But prepared your mind to divorce the lazy man Don't let him kill you.

UnfairLife7:
The man deserves more than that. He has been without job for 2 years and all he could do was to drink, smoke, destroy his wife stuff and even went as far as hitting her.

I am a man and i will keep saying it, we men can't take half of what we dish out to women.

These same men cannot try all these nonesense in developed countries. Naija na shithole truly. Too many things wrong about the country

You are a pathetic fool for dragging Nigeria into these and calling our beloved fatherland a "shithole" like there is no child molesters, rapists, woman beaters and other criminals in your said developed countries, oloshi omo eru.

Luckysbab:


True.

But it hasn’t exactly turned out well for them too. The kids raised by a single parent are more prone to being a societal menace statistically.

I disagree based on Nigeria society though

Most irresponsible adults that i know has both parents. I mean those engage in fraud, prostitution and all that. They had both parents living together. A single parents can raise responsible and successful kids while some both parents can't

Stevedison:
Don't worry yourself too much he would come by. He probably went into drinking and smoking out of frustration. Believe me no man is happy knowing fully well that he can't provide for his family. At this point so many thoughts runs through his head and hence he takes wisdom grass to clear off lol.

I won't say that you did a bad thing by arresting him because he really went too far by spoiling things in the house which will cost money to fix, knowing fully well that he has no source of income at the moment. He even went as far as hitting you in the presence of the children I assume and that's very bad of him.

If this happened in the western world the woman wouldn't waste any time to charge him to court.

I will advice you to persevere a little, take care of your home. It's normal for you to feel bad after the whole thing but don't let it weigh you down. Still try to let him understand that you are a human too and he has no right as to assault you the way he did. You are presently the bread winner of the family so please keep it going and continue to put him in prayers. If you see better job opportunities or connections please link him in it.

I pray for strength in this trying time for you. It's not easy. May God bless your home.

Lol ...the man Bleep up sha...so did the wife ..but let's stop comparing ourselves to marriages in the west Abeg ...now and days self ...Men are so scared to marry their women in the west that they run to other Continents such as Asia, and Africa to look for wives ...And this has really been causing some serious issues amongst their women over there ..Just go to YouTube and Type " Passport Bros" ... you'll see what am saying

Mindlog:


The arrest is right. It has halt the intensity of the situation that was physical violence based and could have ended up in a murder.

Do you know the husband? Do you know the wife?
Are you 101% sure the story is accurate?
Are you so sure as to one side of a story to pass judgements?

You can’t just sit in your house behind the comfort of your keypad and say what is right and wrong when you’re not part and parcel of any involvement in the event.

Roozzaay:

You are a pathetic fool for dragging Nigeria into these and calling our beloved fatherland a "shithole" like there is no child molesters, rapists, woman beaters and other criminals in your said developed countries, oloshi omo eru.

LOl

Every sane Nigerians know your country is truly a shithole. The person you mentioned was right.
Is your leaders corrupt or not?
Do they run to those developed countries every now and then or not?
Are you happy with the situation of things in the country? If you're happy others are not

Farfalla:


And being subjected to violence by a drunk who can't provide is not a problem women face?

The man's problem is all you could see through your "logical" perspective?

All these stories no go dey if money dey.

superemmy:


Bad women are so predictable. So now you’re resorting to insulting someone online who you’ve never met.

She is def one, she is always attracted to negative stuffs on here

UnfairLife7:
if you like beat your wife, you will sleep in cell for days. If your wife is too naive to stand for herself your neighbours will do that for her free of charge.

Keep defending domestic violence

Why are you dramatic? Where have I defended his actions if they were true? I only asked her for understanding!

Sometimes I wonder if most of you are literate enough.

agrovick
UnfairLife7
Kobojunkie


I am not saying she should stay and let him continue beating her. Thats wrong of him.


What i am saying is l, instead of locking him up like some random street thief, why didnt she explore other measures like leaving the house and taking the kids with her? If she leave am stay with her parents while issuing concrate warning him for 2months, himself go feel guilty.

VTJN:
LOl

Every sane Nigerians know your country is truly a shithole. The person you mentioned was right.
Is your leaders corrupt or not?
Do they run to those developed countries every now and then or not?
Are you happy with the situation of things in the country? If you're happy others are not

Then you lots are the shits in the hole. I asked him if there were no criminals in the said developed countries and here you are talking about corrupt leaders

braine:


All these stories no go dey if money dey.

From where does he get the money to entertain himself anyways?

Roozzaay:

Then you lots are the shits in the hole. I asked him if there were no criminals in the said developed countries and here you are talking about corrupt leaders

I guess shithole means the leaders are living affluent lifestyle while the masses cannot even afford 3 square meal daily. Poverty level in Nigeria is beyond imagination. The political office holder shares billions amongst themselves at the detriment of average Nigerians. I bet you most average Nigerians can't afford 2 descent square meal daily. Your politicians fly first class aircraft and private jets while an average Nigerians don't have money for t-fare to move around in search of their daily need. Your politicians owned mansions across the globe while an average Nigerians cannot pay their house rent. Most of our graduates are jobless while some are into Yahoo. Your minimum wage is 30k while your politicians earn in millions if not billions for sitting down. Some of them can't even string two words together to make a sentence. Yet, they live large than the so called educated ones. Only few family can afford a bag of rice now, too bad. One thing is sacrosanct in this country. If we do not go our seperate ways in peace then a big anarchy is coming. The poor masses are watching, waiting to be pushed to the wall completely.

I laugh at some of you guys defending these politicians here and there. When the time comes these politicians has America passport and some other developed countries. They will jet out ASAP. It will remain you and i

Keep defending them thinking you're more Nigerian than others

Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

HIM CHOP THE FOOD YOU CARRY GO GIVE AM? IF HIM DOWNLOAD AM,YOU ARE SAFE. IF HIM REJECT AM. NA WAHALA OOOOOOOOOOO

Jman06:
My responsibility That rule was made during the stone age when survival depended more on brawn than brain. It should not apply in the present age when people make wealth more with their brains than Physical strength and women are not deficient in brain.

The one who works and earns should cater for the family. This is me being realistic and not sugarcoating fact!

my brother, you are right.

The problems we are having today is situation where when people going into marriage are not committed. They would plan their separation before the marriage. If not , why would a woman be lamenting spending on the home she calls her own. Where she should live , die and be buried in ? You earn more but if the man earns less , he must still provide . It is a problem.

This is where I would forever respect and hold my wife in highest esteem. She has no plan of going elsewhere again but to make her home work. A huge support for me. In good time or bad time , not even her family know how we stand. Before I take care of somethings , she would be there in my name and the credits go to me . BUT , I would always let the world know that she did it with me and would always tell my family that she made me do it

THE CHANCES OF YOU EVER GETTING YOUR HOME ARE 20% TO 100% SERIOUSLY DUE TO THE WAY MEN ARE WIRED. Please disregard all of this advice. OOOOOO, YOU NEED GOD LIKE ENTIRELY TO INTERVENE IN THE SITUATION FOR YOU TO REMAIN MARRIED. I DON'T KNOW FOR YOU, OOO, BUT WHERE I'M FROM, NA, TO INVESTIGATE BEFORE I GO PUT YOU FOR HOUSE OOOO. AND IF YOUR STORY IS THAT YOU DEY SEND YOUR OGA TO CELL, it matters not what brought about the issue. NA TO PASS AND IS NOT BY FORCE THAT YOU MUST MARRY TOO.

UnfairLife7:
we're still saying the same thing sir. The worst that could happen is divorce which obviously is a win win for Op.

She can easily re-marry as a woman but her hubby had to get back on his feet financially before any woman will take him serious

Propose, marry, and get her into your house. And stop disturbing my mention. How many ladies with children easily get married again in Nigeria? Keep fooling yourself. Get off my mention bro.

What's the difference between detention and prison? He has a restricted movement. No access to complete freedom. There are other methods of conflict resolution even at the police station. There is undertaking, fines and detention. Why choose the one that could cause eternal enmity?

UnfairLife7:
he didn't go to prison but cell. Domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that