Mrbllymer:

Exactly you already painted him and hurled words at him based on her side of the story if the man was here to say his side I'm sure there would be questions to ask, cos no one knows the truth except the two of them, and when a woman is feeding a man we both know how they can be.
Yes women lie a lot but judging her case based on “numerous men out there battering their wives” doesn't seem right, for each marriage with its own peculiar case.
The guy deserves the arrest but how he chose to reach is no one's business.

From the story, lotta questions need to be asked.
What happened after he came back and went to the kitchen? No details I'm sure there are questions asked, confrontations, insults, and many more.

nothing absolutely warrant or deserve domestic violence. Stop justifying or condoling violence. It is wrong of you

Luckysbab:


Keyword - Treat him well (or let him go).

Keyword: He treats you well and you treat him well.

Low life married lazy men roaming the streets these days, I don't blame those supporting Op's horseband, it is because they are exactly like the useless man or they grew up in same kind of dysfunctional family and upbringing that's why they see it as the norm.

VTJN:
nothing absolutely warrant or deserve domestic violence. Stop justifying or condoling violence. It is wrong of you

someone of you would just come from nowhere and jump into people's conversation without reading where it started from or maybe you clearly blind to see where I stated he deserves the arrest but could decide to react the way he deems fit. Get off my mention

Mrbllymer:
someone of you would just come from nowhere and jump into people's conversation without reading where it started from. Get off my mention.

no excuse or justification for domestic violence.

VTJN:
no excuse or justification for domestic violence.

do you read to understand? The woman is asking for how to get her husband back provide solution to that. And I didn’t mention you or quote you. Please stop quoting and face the OP.

Mrbllymer:
do you read to understand? The woman is asking for how to get her husband back provide solution to that. And I didn’t mention you or quote you. Stop please stop quoting and face the OP.

she should let him remain in the police custody since he has refused to come home. When he's tired he will leave there or the police will throw him out of their custody

VTJN:
she should let him remain in the police custody since he has refused to come home. When he's tired he will leave there or the police will throw him out of their custody

tag the op to that I care less.

The idiot husband should apologize for his outburst.

Mrbllymer:
tag the op to that I care less.

you can tag her since you're trying to justify domestic violence. Something must have led to something. She must have said something at the kitchen, bla bla bla. Was that justifiable for domestic violence?

VTJN:
you can tag her since you're trying to justify domestic violence. Something must have led to something. She must have said something at the kitchen, bla bla bla. Was that justifiable for domestic violence?

Are you alright ? I’m not sure you mentally stable cos I never quoted you or had any discussion with you. Me and someone was having a mature conversation and it started a long time and even he, I was conversing with never in any way suggested I was supporting violence nor domestic violence.
In your small tiny little brain the word “man deserves the arrest means I’m supporting violence ?
Learn to stop jumping into people’s conversation and at-least learn to read and understand.

UnfairLife7:
what is there again sir? You said she has lost her hubby isn't it? And i am telling you Op hubby lost his precious wife instead. A woman who fed him for 2 years without his penny. You still have the efrontry to destroy properties in the house and hit his wife. What do you expect the woman to do please? Allow him disfigure her face like you lots do to an average Naija woman?

Most of these niggers don't reason right

I have a woman in my house as a man

And I can tell you she is a gem

How many married have women like her that will feed a Man for 2 years without leaving

She is a gem

That nigger is very lucky

Let him leave the woman when he gets a Job
Another Man will still take that woman

Nonsense

Most times it's these guys that haven't experienced life that talk rubbish

The woman is a good woman

Hmmm...

UnfairLife7:
no reasonable man will support Op husband. Any man supporting him is nothing but a wife beater

Na the 630 people wey like him comment stupid pass.

Nairaland is the worst place to seek for advice about relationship, they just hate women for no reason.

If na him sister them dey beat, he for no talk that nonsense.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

if this story is real then if na me b your husband u will pay dearly for this

talented321:
Is like u don't have sense

This guy here is really a slowpoke. what the hell is wrong with you. you truly don't have sense at all. I hope you have sisters and daughters and i preay the get married to a man like this you are supporting, and he treats them this same way. Werey Ndiala...

You have problem with reading'' pls don't quote me again, u are too dumb to call a woman

fxexperts:
This guy here is really a slowpoke. what the hell is wrong with you. you truly don't have sense at all. I hope you have sisters and daughters and i preay the get married to a man like this you are supporting, and he treats them this same way. Werey Ndiala...

Kobojunkie:
Verokeena, please disregard such riffraff comments as the above in bold abeg, make you no go turn this thread into another trash collection on Nairaland.

even people like u that can’t keep a relationship for a week want to advice people about marriage

I pity those who take u serious

Dennisochampa:
... He destroyed her phone and he's not a trouble maker? What if he did worse? What if he stabbed her in the guise of being drunk?
Na until he kill her before una go know say the man dey irresponsible

so the guy just woke up n destroyed her phone?

Many of u can’t even decipher that op didn’t state everything that happened

She only stated her part to get sympathy

Verokeena, calling the cops on your attacker was by the way one of the bravest things any Nigerian woman has ever done for her own good, and I applaud you. I hope more and more women will wake up to the fact that there is absolutely no reason for violence or trauma in marriage. Calling the cops may just have saved you and your children from becoming a statistic on that day. Even if it is the end of your marriage, please go around and inform other women of how you helped save your own life and possibly the future of your kids by that one call you made. Become an influencer even. Women need to pick their lives and mental wellbeing over marriage any day or night.

UnfairLife7:
The man lose. He lost a woman who could put up with him for 2 years without any source of income.

I guess u don’t bother about d number of years d man has been feeding d woman before losing her job?

So if he feeds her for 10 years n nobody knows n the wife feeds him for 2 years then d world must know

D woman didn’t tell us that man has been irresponsible before now

UnfairLife7:
Shantti i guess this is also a woman.

I am a full blooded man... Unless you've lost a loved one to abusive marriage you won't understand

Sharpsharp00123:
I guess u don’t bother about d number of years d man has been feeding d woman before losing her job?

So if he feeds her for 10 years n nobody knows n the wife feeds him for 2 years then d world must know

D woman didn’t tell us that man has been irresponsible before now

it is his responsibility as a man to take care of his family. Will the man help her to carry pregnancy too?

Emotionss:
[color=#006600][/color]


In the eyes of the law and feminism you are right to have looked your jobless,broke and depressed husband but in the eyes of culture and religion you are extremely wrong....

Your husband is depressed, ashamed and angry with himself and life for his inability to get a job and provide for his family.

And instead of encouragement, understanding and patience, you decided to lock him up for two days as a result of his depressed outrage.

Did you report him to the family elders ?

Did you report to your pastor or any family members or family friends ?

You could have used the police to threatened him but instead you went for outright arrest.

There are more effective ways to handle such situations but I believe you wanted to prove your superiority over your husband as the Bread winner of the house. I am 100% sure your female friends suggested and encouraged you to go to such extreme....

One thing I can assure is that by locking him up in the worst stage of his life, you have succeeded in destroying your home and marriage. That man will never forgive such inhumane and disgraced treatment from his wife....

I just can’t picture what neighbors would say about d family as a whole

Sharpsharp00123:
so the guy just woke up n destroyed her phone?

Many of u can’t even decipher that op didn’t state everything that happened

She only stated her part to get sympathy

are you justifying the man behaviour please? I don't understand you o

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

If what you said is true then I think you're a good woman, you're just tolerating him because he is a deadbeat dad.

Marriage really entails a lot o, some I just imagine sharing a house with a woman with bad and disgusting character.

God will see you through.

Sharpsharp00123:
even people like u that can’t keep a relationship for a week want to advice people about marriage

I pity those who take u serious

how do you know she can't keep relationship for a week please? Because she's saying the truth?

Do you condole domestic violence?

thesicilian:
A man can feed his family for years and no one will hear about it. He's often proud to bear the responsibility. But the moment a woman starts bearing the responsibility, all hell must break loose, sooner or later

The way you ignored the part where he stopped being a functional member of society or his household, the way he started drinking and committed domestic violence and rape is astounding.


Selective blindness, deafness, muteness and foolishness is your problem.

Op shouldn't feel guilty. She's basically a married single mother living with a hobosexual who is using weaponized incompetence. The next time he pounds on her she may lose her life.

superemmy:
It's a clear case that your husband is going through depression and transferred aggression.

You should have just left the house for him with your kids to stay with your parents.
Laslas you don show am say you get power with the arrest. I can't judge you though...

But the man will never forget it.
I can't say whether the arrest is right or wrong. We live in an era where spouses kill each other.

Just understand he is frustrated...

Was the beating right?
Why should be raise his hand on another man's daughter because he has no job?

capnies:


YOU JUMPED THE TRUTH, BECAUSE HE WAS JOBLESS YOU STARTED REFUSING HIM SEX; THAT'S WHAT LED TO THE DRINKING AND ERRATIC BEHAVIOUR. THIS IS THE MISTAKE 90% OF LADIES MAKE.

Is he helping in the house?
Even an overworked and tired man will deny his wife sex. Where will the energy come from when she is working in two fronts.

There is no clear cut way to deal with this issue. You did well involving the police, had he killed you now, it would be a different thing entirely. It is wrong for him not to have a job but go around drinking and smoking. I understand he is depressed, you are in the right position to help him get out of it. Losing a job is not easy, remind him of the good times and this is only a minor set back, things can change for the better. Him not leaving the station is two fold, his pride is punctured he can't face the world because he feels even less than a Man now. It's left for you to uplift his spirit. He could be blackmailing you emotionally. Let him know the only other option was for you to keep quiet let him kill you, you were scared for you life when he started getting physical.
I want to believe he is not an animal and he has not always been like this, time in the cell will get him to rethink his life. Is the present behavior what he wants to continue doing.
Men learn to accept help from your wife's it will not kill you all this too much pride, e no dey help anybody.
Women when things turn ugly for your husband, watch the way you talk to the Man. If a Man doesn't have money it doesn't make him useless. Believe me men are moved almost more than women by the words they hear. Even his misbehaving is bear parlor talk that has caused him to start to tell you that he knows you have a boyfriend and the kids are not his.
He just needs to be reminded that he is loved and that he is still the Man of the house with or without money, but he should Man up and do whatever legal job he finds leave pride aside.
He will come around.

Vinnie2000:


OP, you are a BAD WIFE and Mother too.

A Man that wedded you and married to you for Years
You called Police to Arrest him.

Because he is Poor. If he was a Millionaire, would you Arrest him? 😏

We have Lots of Bad Wives These days. 😒

She called police on him because, HE BEAT HER!

She is not a bad wife and mother