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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days (52136 Views)
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Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by kingsley989(m): 4:18pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
You would have thought of the implications of locking him up. He has been without job for two years (you should know your husband is going through terrible phase in his life). You are ought to show him love and care at all cost. It's unfortunate that it has gotten to this point already. You have to keep begging him, also keep reach out to anyone who could plead on your behalf. Do not mind those who are riding you on, telling you "you did well". These are singles, home wreckers, feminists, and some who simply do not understand what you are faced with at this point. I will tell you from experience. Deep down your husband is hurting for laying his hands on you, but the fact that you arrested and locked him up will hurt him the more. I will tell you why. His situation of joblessness is a lot for him to handle, now he is living with a woman who could lock him up and won't hesitate to do it again in any slight provocation. He is fully aware that you wouldn't have thought of or dared locking him up if he was still working and earning the way it was before now. It's not going to be easy, but keep begging, and most importantly talk to God (There is no heart he can not touch). He will come around, but he will never forget. Also know he isn't finding it easy, watch your words and your attitude towards him. All will be well. 2 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by superemmy(m): 4:24pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
DrFunmisticGlow: Were you there to know whether he beat her. Women are always fond of exaggerating their own stories |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkiee: 4:29pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
superemmy:You mean the police who arrested and charged him did so without evidence? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by maasoap(m): 4:33pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
PastorFire4Fire:So, if you lose your job, it now becomes your wife's responsibility to go out and help you secure another job that in addition to her working, cooking, taking care of the kids and the house? Did you read the part where she said she returned from work, went to school to bring the kids home and slept off due to the day's stress? 3 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by thesicilian: 4:41pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
DrFunmisticGlow:Lol. Another feminist on the prowl You do realise I'm not the cause of your problems? |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by thesicilian: 4:47pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
MSN1:
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Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Dennisochampa: 4:53pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Sharpsharp00123:.... A man comes home drunk, smashed her phone... You're acting as if a man under the influence of alcohol needs a reason to act irrationally.... If u know the real story, why not save us the stress and tell us already |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Sharpsharp00123: 5:03pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Dennisochampa:guy use your head n understand a man won’t just come home n start acting up The op didn’t tell us what transpired, only a mad man will do that n op didn’t mention it in any part of d article that the man is mad Can u just get home n start beating people or destroying everything? |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by superemmy(m): 5:16pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Kobojunkiee: You mean you don’t know Nigerian Police is all about who pays better and not who is really on the side of justice? Stop the cap |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Riscawendy(f): 5:22pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
The situation at hand is not easy for both, the man and the woman. For the woman, it is usually frustrating being the bread winner of the family so l can relate with that. For the man loosing your job 2 years no be beans. The anger, the frustration, depression etc will always set in. I feel he is trying to use the drinking and smoking to forget his sorrow but my advice to him is that it will never erase the situation. Going forward l feel he should use the money he is using to drink and smoke to learn a skill online, who knows something may kick off from there. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkiee: 5:23pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
superemmy:🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Kai.... Nigerians and denial ehn! ![]() |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkiee: 5:24pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Riscawendy:What was he attempting to use the destructive violence for? ![]() 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by superemmy(m): 5:32pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Kobojunkiee: If you think I’m lying carry 50K to Nigerian Police and see if you cannot arrest anybody that cannot afford to pay higher than you. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Dennisochampa: 5:46pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Sharpsharp00123:.... Boss....drink don make person carry cutlass dey chase people for street.... Another of my friend blocked a major road because he was drunk.... Don't under estimate a drunk sir.... Drinking can make good morning sound like an insult!!! |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Stevedison(m): 6:08pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Kobojunkiee: You have a point but I think it's rather too early to leave. He too must be feeling remorseful about his actions by now. Don't forget she didn't really say what exactly made the man angry. We haven't heard from the other party although it's not enough reason to hit your wife. But this probably is the only time it's happening so she should take care of her home and watch her back. If he continues like this then she can leave or have him leave. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Mrbllymer: 6:13pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Stevedison:true 💯. I saw the Op commenting on this thread I hope she’s not truly cheating
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Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkiee: 6:17pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Stevedison:He is remorseful you say. Did you not read what OP said of his reaction when she took food to him in the prison and how he has yet to say a single word since he got out? ![]() 2. No matter how angry you may be, you do not, never resort to destroying property or violently attacking anyone like a baboon. That is animalistic behavior. We don't need to "hear" from the other party to condemn such an act, do we? Cause I am having a hard time figuring out why Nigerians continue to struggle with comprehending this simple bit. ![]() 3. Probably the only time? Well, that only applies if and only if the culprit chooses to turn a new leaf. Till then, OP needs to distance herself and the kids from his ilk until he gets his sheet together. ![]() 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkiee: 6:18pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
true 💯. I saw the Op commenting on this thread I hope she’s not truly cheatingIf OP were in fact cheating, would that somehow justify the animalistic behavior exhibited by the man? ![]() 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Mrbllymer: 6:19pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Kobojunkiee:not interested in conversing with you. Thanks 😊 |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by buchostags(m): 6:23pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Let me paint a picture of what happened, he lost his job and after sometime you started thinking in your mind that he is becoming less of the person he used to be, you deny him sex, always form busy and serious. Then resentment started building in both parties. He resorted to drinking himself to numb. You stopped talking to him because you felt he should get it by now. Then issues after issues because he has become too sensitive. Now psyche major is: respect him and see him the way he was before. Sometimes it gets a lot worse before it gets better. Something big might be around the corner. But if you want to leave him it's well. Think deep 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by MSN1(m): 6:27pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
[quote author=thesicilian post=125310921][/quote] U re one million miles away from reality. Alhamdulilah. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by culf: 6:31pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
1, what he did is very wrong, very wrong of him. Sorry about all the abuses and violence. 2. For your Marriage, if you're still interested in the marriage, get elders, friends and people he respect to come talk and apologise to him for you, tell him in their presence that you love and cherish your husband that its fear that made you do what you did. .May God help your home and marriage Verokeena |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkiee: 6:34pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
buchostags:So, because you imagine she resents him and even denies him sex, you feel that somehow justifies his destruction of her property and violently launching at her in the presence of his own kids? ![]() 2. Respect him? Did he respect his own self that you demand he be respected? He acted out like an animal and was treated like one, thankfully. Why are you demanding he be given respect when he did not show himself worthy of it by his own actions? Or are you one of those who think that by paying what you lot call a bride price, you automatically purchase respect for life or something? ![]() 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkiee: 6:36pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
culf:This is conflicting at best! He did wrong but she should bring people to apologize to him? How would you feel if your sister called you up after being pummelled by her husband to come beg him? ![]() |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by culf: 6:58pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Kobojunkiee: YES, if my sister is in Nigeria and still interested in her marriage. This is Nigeria, This is marriage and this is culture. All these talks would've been avoided if she reported her husband or move out with the kids without getting him arrested. The man 4ked up but her action put her marriage off completely. 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkiee: 7:03pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
culf:Interesting! So, rather than call the cops to save her at the time of the attack, she should have allowed her attacker to beat the sheet out of her and then if she survived the assault, she should then report him to people(all so the criminal assault can stay covered up), or moved out afterward... WOW... Nigerian culture indeed seems tailored towards protecting culprits and not victims at all. No wonder! ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by culf: 7:22pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Kobojunkiee: How did you know she called the cops at point of attack, with which phone? the one smashed? This is Nigeria, twist it any way you like, her marriage need serious prayer. even in mediation to lay man, police and court is not the first point of call for someone that want peaceful resolution and stable existing relationship I want to believe its someone like you that misled her. Like I say, the man is very wrong, his action is totally wrong but for the marriage, the woman have complicated everything. 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by culf: 7:29pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
cutesharon: Thank God I didn't marry someone like you, may God help your husband to be 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkiee: 7:35pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
culf:1. So, she couldn't have called the cops with a phone that was smashed and she should not have bothered calling the cops even after the fact? Do you mean the crime shouldn't have been reported at all? ![]() 2. Her marriage needs prayer? Which God will answer this prayer you want her to pray? ![]() 3. So, when one partner pummels the other, your recommendation is that mediation is the next best approach. Would you also have said this if this had been the case of a wife-beating up her husband? ![]() 4. Someone like me misled her to call the cops before her life was possibly snuffed out of her by her attacker. ![]() 5. The woman complicated it by calling the cops and reporting the crime committed against her by her assailant. Marriage gives a man a get-out-of-jail-free card as far as crimes committed against his spouse, is that it? ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkiee: 7:36pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
culf:STop dragging the many mentions of God into your claims since God never said a man cannot cook for himself even in marriage. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Mrbllymer: 7:43pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
culf:“ The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty.” |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Atolu01: 7:52pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Gloriagee: Haha. Orishirishi. Creation that something is innately wrong with. |
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