Hi everyone,

How do you deal with mother in-law who uses emotion to blackmail your wife (her own daughter)?

We got married few years back, and everyone knows I earn a decent living.

Once in while I send funds and foodstuffs to them, but what I noticed of recent. Any challenge they have (financial issues, low patronage in thier businesses) at home they share with their daughter (my wife) immediately. she will become moody afterwards. And she's not the first born not even the second.

They knew their daughter just done with service, and I'm currently looking for job for her, but non forthcoming for now.

I'm trying to know why they keep telling her their daily challenges, my wife keep responding " you people know I don't have job yet"

When my wife was there she was the one coordinating the mother's business though.

Please are they pressuring her because of me? Knowing fully well their daughter is jobless for now?

I really do not blame people marrying from rich home.

[b][/b]. We got married few years back, and everyone knows I earn a decent living.


This is where your problems starts... No one should know your income, not even your mom...


Now educate your wife on how to be less bothered about issues that are beyond her control, what if she isn't available due to health issues (God forbids), won't they live their lives? Teach her on how to say NO to somethings.

They know they have a caring inlaw. And your wife knows that you love her so much. You no go blame them.
If you are tired go to court.

Yes they are doing so because of u...
Don't tell people ur privacy' people will take advantage of that against u....
Explain to ur wife'' let her tell her family the truth... Your wife is in better position to settle this issue if not they will label u name in time to come.....

Wawelexy:
[/b]. We got married few years back, and everyone knows I earn a decent living.

[b]
This is where your problems starts... No one should know your income, not even your mom...


Now educate your wife on how to be less bothered about issues that are beyond her control, what if she isn't available due to health issues (God forbids), won't they live their lives? Teach her on how to say NO to somethings.

Iol, how would they know my earnings, even their daughter ( my wife don't know my take home. Lol) you know Nigerians mindset once they see you with decent ride, and good evironment, wahala don start

Wawelexy:
[b][/b]. We got married few years back, and everyone knows I earn a decent living.


This is where your problems starts... No one should know your income, not even your mom...


Now educate your wife on how to be less bothered about issues that are beyond her control, what if she isn't available due to health issues (God forbids), won't they live their lives? Teach her on how to say NO to somethings.

Exactly, thanks for your input

That's because they know your wife will tell you and you as a good in-law will help out.

If your wife can't tell her family to stop telling her about their troubles every time, then you do as if you don't care about their issues and they will stop.

Wawelexy:
We got married few years back, and everyone knows I earn a decent living. This is where your problems starts... No one should know your income, not even your mom...Now educate your wife on how to be less bothered about issues that are beyond her control, what if she isn't available due to health issues (God forbids), won't they live their lives? Teach her on how to say NO to somethings.

WOW... so the wife na child wey no get brain? I do not blame you at all since OP himself claimed he is the one searching for a job on his wife's behalf, painting an image of a woman incapable of doing a lot for herself.

Evestar200:
That's because they know your wife will tell you and you as a good in-law will help out.

If your wife can't tell her family to stop telling her about their troubles every time, then you do as if you don't care about their issues and they will stop.

Thank you

Tell your wife in plain English NEVER to bother you with her family issues.
If she's moody, act as if you're not aware and never ask her why she's moody.
Anytime she brings her family wahala, change am for her.

You can give her family stuffs time to time but NEVER make it a habit.

Aswear to marry from a struggling family no be am

Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative.

Be wise.

Zonefree:
Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative.

Be wise.

Are you lying? NO

Klass99:


Of course they are pressuring her because of you na. How can you even be asking this question? 🤣
Some Nigerian parents look at their daughter's marriages as a poverty elevation scheme that includes them too.

A friend of mine is married to the last born child (female) of a family. Wetin him eyes don see ehn, if you don't handle this well you may end up in the same boat as my friend.

Her parents and older siblings will make her the cash cow of their family, as a result of your status/standing, know this and be prepared to counter launch when necessary.

Wifey cannot be getting moody all the time na, what is her own plan and strategy for tackling the pressure or subtle manipulations when it comes? I am not against children helping/caring for aged parents it is our duty and responsibility as children to do good and do right by our parents while they are alive.

But what your mother in law is doing feels like manipulation to get the outcomes she wants. Continue to send money/food stuffs like you do and when you do (i.e. mid month or month end) Anything outside of that.....they should wait for their daughter to start earning an income first.

I have siblings in their husband's houses. The least my mum will do is calling them and start bothering them with personal issues. These people don't even know I have parents to take care of too. Lol

Pikadili:
Hi everyone,

How do you deal with mother in-law who uses emotion to blackmail your wife (her own daughter)?

We got married few years back, and everyone knows I earn a decent living.

Once in while I send funds and foodstuffs to them, but what I noticed of recent. Any challenge they have (financial issues, low patronage in thier businesses) at home they share with their daughter (my wife) immediately. she will become moody afterwards. And she's not the first born not even the second.

They knew their daughter just done with service, and I'm currently looking for job for her, but non forthcoming for now.

I'm trying to know why they keep telling her their daily challenges, my wife keep responding " you people know I don't have job yet"

When my wife was there she was the one coordinating the mother's business though.

Please are they pressuring her because of me? Knowing fully well their daughter is jobless for now?

I really do not blame people marrying from rich home.

I personally do not see anything bad helping your inlaw especially with the fact that you know they aren't financially buoyant. Although, i wouldn't condone entitled in-laws that comes every now and then demanding for money. However, i will support them. It is not a crime nor a big deal in doing that. I've seen men doing heaven and earth for girlfriend and her family not wife. Help them in a way that wouldn't affect you. I am not married though but i see how my dad support his inlaw in his own little way despite not being rich. Provided you married their daughter, you guys are somewhat related. Just don't abandon them claiming they are not your parents.

I no fit read long story abeg, cut off from the in-law

UnfairLife7:
I personally do not see anything bad helping your inlaw especially with the fact that you know they aren't financially buoyant. Although, i wouldn't condone entitled in-laws that comes every now and then demanding for money. However, i will support then. It is not a crime nor a big deal in doing that. I've seen men doing heaven and earth for girlfriend and her family not wife. Help them in a way that wouldn't affect you. I am not married though but i see how my dad support his inlaw in his own little way despite not being rich. Provided you married their daughter, you guys are somewhat related. Just don't abandon them claiming they are not your parents.

Thank God you said this.. on a long run their demands will eventually affects me. I like to help people at my pace, cos I always plan ahead of time.

Klass99:


You and your siblings most likely do good, do right and do well by your mum. So, there's nothing lacking or missing for her to start calling.

I suspect your mother in law hasn't enjoyed the same benefits/privileges with her own kids, so she feels the need to ask for it, directly or indirectly.

Your wife may be the only one she perceives as doing well by virtue of her marriage to you, so that marriage, like a paid job, must yield fruits to benefit her o.

All of you will be alright las las.

You really cracked me up with this comment😂😂

Pikadili:
Hi everyone,

How do you deal with mother in-law who uses emotion to blackmail your wife (her own daughter)?

We got married few years back, and everyone knows I earn a decent living.

Once in while I send funds and foodstuffs to them, but what I noticed of recent. Any challenge they have (financial issues, low patronage in thier businesses) at home they share with their daughter (my wife) immediately. she will become moody afterwards. And she's not the first born not even the second.

They knew their daughter just done with service, and I'm currently looking for job for her, but non forthcoming for now.

I'm trying to know why they keep telling her their daily challenges, my wife keep responding " you people know I don't have job yet"

When my wife was there she was the one coordinating the mother's business though.

Please are they pressuring her because of me? Knowing fully well their daughter is jobless for now?

I really do not blame people marrying from rich home.

This is what I faced about 10years ago. I was giving my MIL monthly stipend, training the last born in uni. The other siblings were coming up with every reason to get money even at some point that I wasn't working.
It took me 5years to discover that all the moodiness from my wife was because she expected me to do everything for her family, not because of the pressure they gave her.

Find a way, not by asking, to know whose side your wife is. If she is on your side, then you can set healthy boundaries. If she is with her folks, then you need to re-strategize or bid the marriage bye.

Pikadili:
Hi everyone,

How do you deal with mother in-law who uses emotion to blackmail your wife (her own daughter)?

We got married few years back, and everyone knows I earn a decent living.

Once in while I send funds and foodstuffs to them, but what I noticed of recent. Any challenge they have (financial issues, low patronage in thier businesses) at home they share with their daughter (my wife) immediately. she will become moody afterwards. And she's not the first born not even the second.

They knew their daughter just done with service, and I'm currently looking for job for her, but non forthcoming for now.

I'm trying to know why they keep telling her their daily challenges, my wife keep responding " you people know I don't have job yet"

When my wife was there she was the one coordinating the mother's business though.

Please are they pressuring her because of me? Knowing fully well their daughter is jobless for now?

I really do not blame people marrying from rich home.

Divorce her!

Pikadili:
Hi everyone,

How do you deal with mother in-law who uses emotion to blackmail your wife (her own daughter)?

We got married few years back, and everyone knows I earn a decent living.

Once in while I send funds and foodstuffs to them, but what I noticed of recent. Any challenge they have (financial issues, low patronage in thier businesses) at home they share with their daughter (my wife) immediately. she will become moody afterwards. And she's not the first born not even the second.

They knew their daughter just done with service, and I'm currently looking for job for her, but non forthcoming for now.

I'm trying to know why they keep telling her their daily challenges, my wife keep responding " you people know I don't have job yet"

When my wife was there she was the one coordinating the mother's business though.

Please are they pressuring her because of me? Knowing fully well their daughter is jobless for now?

I really do not blame people marrying from rich home.

yes, they are. If your wife gets a job now, most of the funds will go to them so be ready.

Am from a very very loaded home, and right from time, The way girls from broke homes dey scare me eh. Can't imagine y they want to marry into rich hones, while they ignore poor homes like theirs. Very irritating. My sister is married 2 An equally wealthy home and lives abroad. Our only concern is how to get chance to waybill all sorts of meat, dry fish, and very complete food stuffs abroad against her giving birth, instead of may be my mum and our sister thinking for a second, how to go over there to do omugwo, meaning her hubby preparing visa and all other travel document, things that poor people carry like gala for head

Kobojunkiee:
WOW... so the wife na child wey no get brain? I do not blame you at all since OP himself claimed he is the one searching for a job on his wife's behalf, painting an image of a woman incapable of doing a lot for herself.

Rest abeg.... No one is an island... No one is above education irrespective of your qualification, a boy of 10 years old can educate you on some certain things... What you don't know will always be bigger than you unless you are educated about it... Learning is a continual process

You go explain taya😎

Pikadili:
Hi everyone,

How do you deal with mother in-law who uses emotion to blackmail your wife (her own daughter)?

We got married few years back, and everyone knows I earn a decent living.

Once in while I send funds and foodstuffs to them, but what I noticed of recent. Any challenge they have (financial issues, low patronage in thier businesses) at home they share with their daughter (my wife) immediately. she will become moody afterwards. And she's not the first born not even the second.

They knew their daughter just done with service, and I'm currently looking for job for her, but non forthcoming for now.

I'm trying to know why they keep telling her their daily challenges, my wife keep responding " you people know I don't have job yet"

When my wife was there she was the one coordinating the mother's business though.

Please are they pressuring her because of me? Knowing fully well their daughter is jobless for now?

I really do not blame people marrying from rich home.

U married a lady that is not working in this country Nigeria.

U actually started the real problem.

Remember that as your parents cherished u,that is the way they too cherished their daughter.

I haven't seen any problem here,just that your only anger is that,you don't want them to tell their daughter anything about their situation anymore...that is wrong.

Nice2023:




U married a lady that is not working in this country Nigeria.

U actually started the real problem.

Remember that as your parents cherished u,that is the way they too cherished their daughter.

I haven't seen any problem here,just that your only anger is that,you don't want them to tell their daughter anything about their situation anymore...that is wrong.

Please re-read the post again and digest

Bros op you are in deep shit na now your own shege just start just pray for your inlaws to die quick so you can have rest of mind married simps are really going through alot

Curiouscity:


This is what I faced about 10years ago. I was giving my MIL monthly stipend, training the last born in uni. The other siblings were coming up with every reason to get money even at some point that I wasn't working.
It took me 5years to discover that all the moodiness from my wife was because she expected me to do everything for her family, not because of the pressure they gave her.

Find a way, not by asking, to know whose side your wife is. If she is on your side, then you can set healthy boundaries. If she is with her folks, then you need to re-strategize or bid the marriage bye.

using that statement whose side she was is wrong. She had a family before meeting you. You had a family before meeting her. She can't discard her family for whatsoever reason because of a man or all in the name of marriage. Same applies to you also.

Like i said to Op, he can't discard them either because they're his inlaw, especially with the fact that they're somewhat not financially buoyant. He can only support them in his own little way without affecting himself and nuclear family.