Dshocker:


Be calming down MJ, Africa is not like Europe or America, where divorce favours the woman.

I am not trying to justify cheating, but divorcing will really affect her in few years time.

how will divorce affect her later? With those evidence she can file for divorce and their kids automatically will be given to the woman. The man will be mandated to pay a stipulated amount of money monthly for the kids wellbeing. If he defaulted, she can get him arrested. So tell me where divorce will affect her?

Versitee:
I have been feeling like my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbors daughter. She is just about 23 years.

Yesterday which was Sunday, I went to our neighbors house around 6pm to ask if I could use their oven.

Their compound is not fenced so I just walked in straight to their backyard if I would see the man's wife.

I overheard this girl making a call. Apparently she was the only one at home and she wasn't expecting anyone.

She was asking the man over the fone who was sexualy better between his wife and her.

My attention was arrested immediately. I stopped to hear more of the conversation. When I had enough, I made my presence known. She quickly hung up and tried to put up an innocent face.

I also pretended like I heard nothing, I asked to use the oven and left .
Getting back home, I was worried if that was my husband that girl was talking to, so I decided to find out.


I got my husbands fone later that night and went through the call log. The time that girl was making that call was few minutes past 6. I checked my husbands fone and there was a number he called around that time.

The number was not saved on the fone so I decided to call that number on my own fone and my true caller identified the number as "Vicky hookup".

Guess what, the girls name is Victoria.

I was surprised because I have the girls number saved on my fone. But I guess the number I have is for her family and friends. The one my husband has is for clients.

I opened his WhatsApp and found no chat with the girl, so I decided to check his telegram. ( Normally I don't like telegram so I never open it on either my fone or husband's)

My husbands telegram was locked. I was surprised cos that is the only app locked on his fone.


To cut the long story short, I found a way to open the app, and I saw his chat with that girl.


It pains me to say that my husband has been having sex with that girl without protection.

I want to go for HIV test tomorrow. Please how do I confront my husband about this.

Also I am scared I might be infected with an sti.

Go FOR THE TEST ASAP,SECONDLY KEEP ALL EVIDENCE WATCH OUT HOW TINS PLAY OUT AGAIN IN THE NEXT ONE WEEK.BUT BECAREFUL SO HE WONT NOTICE

stanisbaratheon:



Bros I be man like you and i'm sure you know how all these kind of things dey be. He can't be a friend to a woman let alone a hook up girl his wife doesn't know.

How can a man have a friend he calls and chats with that his wife doesn't know or heard of? Abeg leave this matter, because if na your sister dey in that woman's position you go want to protect her interest.

Okay but u know if to say na man dey complain most ladies here will be claiming the man is insecure, not man enough or can't satisfy her needs. Woman go cheat everyone will blame the man, man go cheat everyone will still blame him. Is it not too much. I'm just trying to turn the tables today and y'all want to crucify me 😁
One of the girls insulting me here for my comment was also on another thread about few minutes after insulting a good guy for not giving in to the advances of a girl disturbing his life. I mean who does that? Because I don't like u then u call me all sort of names? But if it's the other way round they will quickly use all sort of labels on the guy ; stalker, sexual molestation/ assault and if he's unlucky he's labelled a rapist. They should enjoy what they dish out. I just dey test the waters and I love the turn out so far

Villa12:
how will divorce affect her later? With those evidence she can file for divorce and their kids automatically will be given to the woman. The man will be mandated to pay a stipulated amount of money monthly for the kids wellbeing. If he defaulted, she can get him arrested. So tell me where divorce will affect her?

You were misinformed! This is 9ja, women don't get the kids unless the man willingly let go or is fully incapable of their well-being.

UDUJ:


You always advocate divorce in all threads I see you. And I am very sure you are an unmarried frustrated lady but you want other women to leave their marriages.

What the hell is wrong with you?

who told you single ladies are frustrated for being single?
Who told you married women aren't frustrated in marriage? I mean naija married women o

@Op I can be of help to you towards unraveling the real identify and tracking of this girl disturbing your husband.

I'm an expert in tracking of different categories....

Inbox my email akinadetayo4abel@gmail.com to help you out pls....

Best regards ma'am

Baronthecelebri:
Divorce that bastard, before he kill you. Don't give him second chance. But I've you been giving him sex

Please kindly correct this notion.
Sex is not a gift.
You don’t give sex to anybody. You enjoy sex with one another. There’s mutual benefits for both parties involved.

Those persons advising her to get a divorce are quick to strike.. Divorce isn't the solution, if she divorces him what assurances would she have that her next husband won't also cheat, that is if she remarries?
Is she independent financially?
How many kids have the marriage produced?
Does he performs his husband duty of caring for the family..?The only crime in marriage I would advise a divorce is if he is a wife beater. Otherwise sit your husband down, talk to him about your discovery, be angry and see if you can change him..
My opinion.

abbey621:


You were misinformed! This is 9ja, women don't get the kids unless the man willingly let go or is fully incapable of their well-being.

Lol

Keep deceiving yourself bro. My neighbour got custody of their kids if you want to know. They do grant custody to the victim. If the man was responsible and the woman living wayward lifestyle, the man will have the kids.

Versitee:
I have been feeling like my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbors daughter. She is just about 23 years.

Yesterday which was Sunday, I went to our neighbors house around 6pm to ask if I could use their oven.

Their compound is not fenced so I just walked in straight to their backyard if I would see the man's wife.

I overheard this girl making a call. Apparently she was the only one at home and she wasn't expecting anyone.

She was asking the man over the fone who was sexualy better between his wife and her.

My attention was arrested immediately. I stopped to hear more of the conversation. When I had enough, I made my presence known. She quickly hung up and tried to put up an innocent face.

I also pretended like I heard nothing, I asked to use the oven and left .
Getting back home, I was worried if that was my husband that girl was talking to, so I decided to find out.


I got my husbands fone later that night and went through the call log. The time that girl was making that call was few minutes past 6. I checked my husbands fone and there was a number he called around that time.

The number was not saved on the fone so I decided to call that number on my own fone and my true caller identified the number as "Vicky hookup".

Guess what, the girls name is Victoria.

I was surprised because I have the girls number saved on my fone. But I guess the number I have is for her family and friends. The one my husband has is for clients.

I opened his WhatsApp and found no chat with the girl, so I decided to check his telegram. ( Normally I don't like telegram so I never open it on either my fone or husband's)

My husbands telegram was locked. I was surprised cos that is the only app locked on his fone.


To cut the long story short, I found a way to open the app, and I saw his chat with that girl.


It pains me to say that my husband has been having sex with that girl without protection.

I want to go for HIV test tomorrow. Please how do I confront my husband about this.

Also I am scared I might be infected with an sti.

Whatever you decide,good luck to you ! You only need to prepare your mind for it;your relationship with your husband will never remain same again ! O ti lo !

Mjshexy:
Awww...I'm calm dear, it's left for her to decide on the next step to take

@villa12 below is my reasons 👇👇👇


1... If she divorce, the upbringing of the
children will be compromised.

2... She can hardly remarry again, so loneliness
will torture her.

3... She will have to hustle hard, because
financial burden will arise.

4... All those, especially her friends that are
pushing her for divorce, will still be the
same friends that will be mocking her and
gossiping about her, for being divorce and
single.

5... After about 4yrs, she will regret for taking
such action, she will start talking to herself
that; After all, in the olden days, our
forefathers used to marry as much wives
as possible.

In as much as i don't support cheating, i still wouldn't advice her to leave, better still; She should park her bags and move back to her family, that way the man will realise his mistake

Versitee just move out of his house, that way, the shame will be upon him and he would definitely come begging, even with his people, but in all you do, please do not divorce him out of anger.... Go and check the history of women that angrily divorced their husband later regretted their action years later.... Sorry ooO, but 23yrs old hot sha, girls of nowadays.

rickleye:


Fair enough but the alternative would be divorce or separation.

You're right

abbey621:
■ You were misinformed! This is 9ja, women don't get the kids unless the man willingly let go or is fully incapable of their well-being.

You dey joke abi? Nigeria where the majority of men literally abandon their children with their women you dey talk as if men dey even bother fight at all.

[quote author=dkidd post=125426881]How do u know they're having sex? So because he chats someone named Vicky hookup and ur neighbors name is Victoria now means she's the same person U are just an insecure woman. Try to be more tolerant and trust ur husband more. If u still believe they're both knacking each other then get concrete evidence instead of jumping into conclusions because of ur insecurities






You be mumu no doubt

OROSUNBOLB:
■ Whatever you decide,good luck to you ! You only need to prepare your mind for it;your relationship with your husband will never remain same again ! O ti lo !

Ding dong ding!

OP, please prioritize your peace of mind, your self-esteem, and your private happiness and joy from this point on. Else, receding hairline, premature wrinkles, etcetera, na im await.

Kobojunkie:
How old are you for Pete's sake?

May I know why you ask?

Lunar2010:
■May I know why you ask?

Why are you suggesting she make up a cock-and-bull story rather than deal with reality at a time like this?

Just talk to your husband about it first and hear his side of the story before any action. That's the best advice you can get here.

Villa12:
how will divorce affect her later? With those evidence she can file for divorce and their kids automatically will be given to the woman. The man will be mandated to pay a stipulated amount of money monthly for the kids wellbeing. If he defaulted, she can get him arrested. So tell me where divorce will affect her?

You think say na America or Europe you dey?

Besides she and the husband are just managing life, so which properties are you talking about?

Kobojunkie:
Why are you suggesting she make up a cock-and-bull story rather than deal with reality at a time like this?

Who be dis wan?

Sometimes I ask myself if some people give response without thinking, for crying out loud what sort of heart breaking and nerve wrecking comments do some of you put up here, do you have any idea how painful and hurtful it is to find out the truth about the man or woman you share your body with, your entire being with , do you have any idea how bad and hurt this lady is?

I pray as many of you who enjoy
posting senseless and unreasonable comments , I sincerely pray you do not find nor encounter such situations in your own marriage you have sacrificed so much for.

Dear lady, first of all I am very sorry for this hurt you are feeling, its one of the biggest betrayal one can have, see the bible likens the relationship between Christ and the church as a bride and bridegroom, a husband and a wife. Marriage is sacred and the man you call your husband has done the unthinkable.

Honestly just like the bible says, divorce MAY BE ONE OF THE REMEDIES because this is adultery, even Jesus says this "only on the charge of adultery" but really, I am in pains over this issue, I am terribly sorry and I hope you find the time, courage and strength to do what is right. Forgive and forget madam , do not jeopardize your own sanity, dignity and overall health for those who will feel they know better, Cheating is not a mistake madam, it is a carefully and conscious decision irrespective of the conditions and circumstances surrounded it.

My final words "people will only apologise for two reasons, either because they are sorry for what they did or because they are ashamed for been caught"

May the good lord continue to strengthen you, don't be influenced by anyone's advice not even I know a lot to advice you on this matter, its only you who must take the decision that Is right and good for you, Listen to all, and make your decision.

Peace To You All.

Dshocker:


You think say na America or Europe you dey?

Besides she and the husband are just managing life, so which properties are you talking about?

I am not referring to property. After divorce he will be mandated to pay a stipulated amount every months for the kids wellbeing. If he defaulted,he will be arrested. I have seen that in my neighborhood

Madam show him proof he has been cut, insist on general test before u sleep with him, don’t risk your life ooo.

Exodus15v11:
Adultery is grounds for divorce. Save all the evidence from his phone onto yours and keep a backup just in case, then do the needful. Don't let anyone tell you to continue the marriage. In fact, if you do, he will become more empowered to continue cheating (with your neighbor or with anyone else) because he now knows you won't leave, although he may start hiding the evidence better or password his phone completely to prevent you from opening it and knowing he's still cheating. Abegi, just do yourself a favor and leave. There's nothing to salvage here. If he kills you before your time with disease or hbp he will forget about you and still be on top of woman the next day, so choose yourself and leave while you can with your remaining dignity. Marriage is not a do or die affair.

All those of you preaching divorce to the op, I just hope you realise its easier said than done. Why not preach peace and forgiveness.

When she divorces what's happens next, at best she remarried, does that mean the next husband won't cheat ? And if she decides not to remarry she starts sleeping around with different men in the name of boyfriend of man friend.

At the end of the day divorce isn't the best option. She should learn to forgive and get closer to her husband cos for the Vicky to be asking who is better on bed clearly shows the man had told Vicky where his wife is deficient.

In my honest opinion, though I don't support infidelity but it's not really an African thing or culture to divorce ur husband becos he cheated. Weather we like it or not men will continue to cheat on the wives till eternity. A wise african woman who is ready to actually be married knows this and doesn't judge her marriage solely on this. As a matter of fact , if she divorces today the next husband or boyfriend is 95% bound to cheat on her , so what's the point in moving between 2 constant?

As long as ur husband respects (doesnt place any woman above you ), loves, and isn't violent with you. Just work on your marriage woman and stop looking for a clean pig as they are not synonymous. Just imagine u divorce and vicky replaces you in d house.

WriterX:
■ Honestly just like the bible says, divorce may be one of the remedies because this is adultery, even Jesus says this "only on the charge of adultery" but really, I am in pains over this issue, I am terribly sorry and I hope you find the time, courage and strength to do what is right. Forgive and forget madam , do not jeopardize your own sanity, dignity and overall health for those who will feel they know better, Cheating is not a mistake madam, it is a carefully and conscious decision irrespective of the conditions and circumstances surrounded it.

What Jesus Christ actually said is that remarriage is an option available in the case of fornication; He didn't in fact limit divorce to just the case of fornication at all.

Kobojunkie:
What Jesus Christ actually said is that remarriage is an option available in the case of fornication; He didn't in fact limit divorce to just the case of fornication at all.

Matthew 5:31-32, “'It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. ' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, EXCEPT FOR SEXUAL IMMORALITY, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

I was talking about this and please notice that I said one of the remedies, I had a discussion recently with a friend and we talked on this and the question is Jesus would rather prefer we don't even divorce at all, marriage is a seal respected within the physical realm and the spiritual realm, the Moses law was made to justify the hardness of man's heart, intolerance, unforgiving spirit, society values and norms. The bible says the only legal ground divorce should be considered an option is on sexual Immorality which is this case hence my advice, thanks.

drsibz66:
■ All those of you preaching divorce to the op, I just hope you realise its easier said than done. Why not preach peace and forgiveness. When she divorces what's happens next, at best she remarried, does that mean the next husband won't cheat ? And if she decides not to remarry she starts sleeping around with different men in the name of boyfriend of man friend.
■ At the end of the day divorce isn't the best option.
■ She should learn to forgive and get closer to her husband cos for the Vicky to be asking who is better on bed clearly shows the man had told Vicky where his wife is deficient.
■ In my honest opinion, though I don't support infidelity but it's not really an African thing or culture to divorce ur husband becos he cheated. Weather we like it or not men will continue to cheat on the wives till eternity. A wise african woman who is ready to actually be married knows this and doesn't judge her marriage solely on this. As a matter of fact , if she divorces today the next husband or boyfriend is 95% bound to cheat on her , so what's the point in moving between 2 constant?

1. Even the one entering marriage for the first time faces the same odds so I am not certain why you use that against the subject of divorce when you could equally use it as a counter to marriage altogether.

2. Speak for yourself and your situation. Only the one wearing the shoes knows what is the best option for his or her case.

3. OP is worried that she might be infected meaning she has been intimate with her husband all that while. How much closer must OP get in order for you to realize that OP isn't the problem in this situation? Why is the victim the one who has to work on this assumed deficiency? Why must OP work to please the husband who instead preferred to have his knobs shined elsewhere?

4. A wise African woman is one who accepts infidelity as her lot in marriage. I was waiting for you to say that and you did just that. Over to you African woman... see what you have reduced yourselves in marriage to.

Madam please I beg you in God's name don't kill yourself before your time. Don't start fire you can't quench.

Ahmed0336:
Try to screenshot everything and send to your phone to serve as evidence or you go explain tire

What will she do when the husband says YES, he has been sleeping with the girl?

Gbam e don happen, something your husband hide from you still you use Google and Telescope 🔭 to find it, madam you are now in-between. Either you leave and become single mother or be prayerful and repair your marriage. Something must kill a man!

WriterX:
■Matthew 5:31-32, “'It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. ' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, EXCEPT FOR SEXUAL IMMORALITY, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

■I was talking about this and please notice that I said one of the remedies, I had a discussion recently with a friend and we talked on this and the question is Jesus would rather prefer we don't even divorce at all, the law was made to justify the hardness of man's heart, intolerance, unforgiving spirit, society values and norms. The bible says the only legal ground divorce should be considered an option is on sexual Immorality which is this case hence my advice, thanks.

1. If you read the text carefully, you will find that the one who divorces her is not himself accused of adultery.

32 But I tell you that any man who divorces his wife, except for the problem of sexual sin, is causing his wife to be guilty of adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman is guilty of adultery. - Matthew 5 vs 32

She who is divorced is potentially guilty of adultery. That potential is realized in remarriage.