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My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Focusmind: 2:10pm On Sep 12, 2023
Is the N250K the money for Omonile Oga, to build house is not what you start with N250K. I thought it was N2.5m down commitment that she made. Don't allow her to hoodwink you o! Go and ask those that have built houses and learn from them. You must have continuous source of fund or else you will have a project that is gulping all your money without end insight.

3 Likes

Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by horpe132(m): 2:10pm On Sep 12, 2023
LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?
..
.
It's difficult to help you sir, I suspect your fiancée is one of these people that have a picture of what they want in their heads, The type of man, work, environment, children even in-laws..
..
If it's the above, then there's nothing much you can do about it, keep talking & toasting her, if she truly loves you, she'll bend a bit to accommodate your point of view
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by olisefom: 2:10pm On Sep 12, 2023
You guys should rather build a solid business before tying the knot. You won't regret doing this. As per house, it means nothing!
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Solofresh2: 2:11pm On Sep 12, 2023
Samantha124:
That's nice.. smiley smiley smiley
Do you know any other south African Lady on the forum
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Abifarin16: 2:11pm On Sep 12, 2023
Nataliace:
If I were you I would build first.
It's hard to find reasonable women like this nowadays.

How much to build go cost?
How long e go take to build.

She never ready marri.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by easzypeaszy(m): 2:11pm On Sep 12, 2023
how is dis our issues here.
Her choice, and u can mk ur own choice too
Bc i no see why dis na issue at all
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Zooposki(f): 2:12pm On Sep 12, 2023
izonborn098:
Your woman has entitle mentality..
She is not yet ready for marriage...
Though she has a good plan for u'' it is for ur own benefit and a lifetime investment but house isn't what u build because one woman is forcing..
You build house when u know u are ready and depend on ur financial ability building of house takes time..
The question is this woman determined to spend the rest of her life with u..
Before she forsake u..
Lastly that money is contributing the house belongs to her more than u do...

They can build a small bungalow that will accommodate both of them while planning to build their dream home. This will save on rent costs and they can later rent out the bungalow. The lady is actually very intelligent. She thinks like me.
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by adspelite(m): 2:13pm On Sep 12, 2023
LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?
OP, don't take advice from unmarried people.
If you are ready for marriage and have the money, then that girlfriend of your is good for you. She will save you in difficult times.
Build your house first.
There are some houses that you enter you won't make progress in life anymore because of wicked landlords

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Stiruconcepts(m): 2:13pm On Sep 12, 2023
She's the wise one, she knows what's coming ahead after marriage, she reasoning that with you is best way to go, but if you go online and make enquiry how much will complete 2 to 3 bedroom then let her see if you both can go ahead to build, you can check your pocket are you capable to build it.
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Qatar2022: 2:14pm On Sep 12, 2023
LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?
She's not your wife oga
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by ExudeLoveToAll: 2:14pm On Sep 12, 2023
Nataliace:
If I were you I would build first.
It's hard to find reasonable women like this nowadays.

Build with 250k from her? Let's assume the guy also has 250k as savings, how many years will it take him to build the house?

She isn't putting things in the right perspective, family life is a long shot you don't have to do everything in one shot.

I was expecting a huge savings from her, but I saw a paltry 250k naira. Who builds house with 250k ? And she terms it joint ownership.

That money and that of the guys can be out in a building fund and they can grow it considerably for the next five years cumminating in funding a building project 100 percent stress free without recourse to loans and debt.

Life in itself is all about planning , you dont put a big burden on another because he wants to marry you. I'm even surprised all these discussions have to come into been after engagement, this should have been long discussed way before now. One should be able to know how a partner thinks before engagement.
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by adspelite(m): 2:15pm On Sep 12, 2023
adspelite:

OP, don't take advice from unmarried people.
If you are ready for marriage and have the money, then that girlfriend of your is good for you. She will save you in difficult times.
Build your house first.
There are some houses that you enter you won't make progress in life anymore because of wicked landlords

I quote myself because I build
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Chibuzoripob: 2:15pm On Sep 12, 2023
cool she's a visionary lady..A proper house wife mater not those madam,aunties ,evening newspaper that'll sidon under Awolowo bridge, Ajah, ojuelegba dey fix this/that,wear beads and wristbangle..Abeg ,go buy land.Nah small small
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Nobody: 2:15pm On Sep 12, 2023
Yes, I do.
Solofresh2:
Do you know any other south African Lady on the forum
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Fearyourcreator: 2:15pm On Sep 12, 2023
Greattestman:
Run if you are wise... she's there to covet your money. She will deceive and when you begin the project she will leave you alone in it saying she has no money. And after you build the house, she will bring her ex to your matrimonial bed.
Be wise!!!
Una madt here no be small ooo... Wetin be this for Gods sake...lolzzzz
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Gentlevip: 2:17pm On Sep 12, 2023
Abeg if you are not interested send us her number.

You see heaven for earth, someone making sure you go forward in life, and doing her utmost to help you. Did not pose any side problems. Yet you dey complain?


Chaaaaiiiiii
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by ExudeLoveToAll: 2:17pm On Sep 12, 2023
Wodu89:
She's childish. She wants a house with 250k contribution. Is it a batcher she wants to live in. Smh in Chinese. You both first need to plan how to have four years rentage first and see if you can afford to live as a couple before building castles in the air.

It's quite hilarious, who builds house with 250k ?

She will be the first to say "after I suffered with you, we built this house together"

She is just putting a big stress on the young man, building funds comes with planning and consistent savings over some period of time unless they just want to buy a land and allow it to lay fallow.
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by izonborn098(m): 2:18pm On Sep 12, 2023
You have a point but how much will this bungalow cost? before we continue...
Zooposki:


They can build a small bungalow that will accommodate both of them while planning to build their dream home. This will save on rent costs and they can later rent out the bungalow. The lady is actually very intelligent. She thinks like me.
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Tzar(m): 2:18pm On Sep 12, 2023
So na only 250k she get that she want to push you to depression with a project like building a house?!
Both of you are delusional and a big joke!
Do you even know how much it cost to buy land and build a house before you delusional kids started with this pipe dream?
Abeg if you have the money go ahead, otherwise be the MAN and stamp your feet down. If it is so easy to build why can’t she do it alone. Only a paltry 250k na hin she think say she don arrive to build house? That’s not even enough to set up a container shop!
Don’t let any woman push you into projects you can’t afford, otherwise na depression you dey call on o! Let her keep stalling on marriage, age wil teach her a good lesson. Her eggs, beautiful body & shape are all rotting away by the day and she is giving man such a condition?
Marriage that millions of women are dying for these days? Both of you go soon get sense.
LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by TheBillyonaire: 2:19pm On Sep 12, 2023
It's important to consider individual circumstances and priorities when it comes to life decisions like marriage. While food, shelter, and clothing are essential needs, people's readiness for marriage can vary widely. It's not always a matter of choosing between basic needs and marriage, as people can work towards both simultaneously.

Here are a few points to consider:

Financial Stability: Marriage often comes with financial responsibilities. It's important to have a stable income or a plan for financial stability before entering into marriage.

Emotional and Mental Preparedness: Marriage requires emotional and mental readiness as well. It's important for both partners to be emotionally prepared for the challenges and commitments that come with marriage.

Mutual Decision: Marriage should ideally be a mutual decision made by both individuals when they feel ready. It's not solely the responsibility of one person to delay or accelerate the process.

Communication: Open and honest communication between partners is key. Discussing goals, priorities, and timelines is important to ensure that both individuals are on the same page.

Support: It's important for couples to support each other in achieving their individual and collective goals, whether those goals are related to basic needs or personal aspirations.

Ultimately, every person's situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. It's essential for individuals and couples to assess their own circumstances, communicate effectively, and make decisions that align with their values and long-term goals. Marriage is a significant life choice, and it's important to approach it thoughtfully and responsibly, taking into consideration both practical and emotional factors.

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Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Abifarin16: 2:20pm On Sep 12, 2023
Ask her what type of house she want you guys to build, run the numbers and give her.
Whatever amount you are both planning to put aside for the building project monthly divide the amount Bi the cost of building. That when you will start preparing to get married.
Unless you have one huge moni saved up, I advise you do the marriage first, rent an affordable room and parlour self-con while you build.
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by MossLuv: 2:21pm On Sep 12, 2023
LewisHamilton15:
That's just for a start. She promise to contribute much in the process op she also has a well paying job.

Don't mind those people calling your woman names. Your type of woman can live in an uncompleted house that belong to her than live in a rented house with a partner. She is a wife material

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by tasland(m): 2:22pm On Sep 12, 2023
izonborn098:
Your woman has entitle mentality..
She is not yet ready for marriage...
Though she has a good plan for u'' it is for ur own benefit and a lifetime investment but house isn't what u build because one woman is forcing you..
You build house when u know u are ready and depend on ur financial ability building of house takes time..
The question is this woman determined to spend the rest of her life with u..
Before she forsake u..
Lastly that money she is contributing the house belongs to her more than u do...
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by seanwilliam(m): 2:22pm On Sep 12, 2023
No matter how sweet and comforting her advice is, do not join money with her to build your house. Build with what you have.
If you borrow money from her in the course of building, please and please return it..,
E get something man no supposed Dey join money with women o ,, pls don’t whine yourself, reality will hit you hard!

Also note that , building house is not a child’s play, if u don’t have stable income , it’ll reach a point you’ll start blaming your self , especially when it’s time for roofing.. build only when you’re ready, invest and expand your business first , trust me land no Dey finish , women no Dey finish and doings no Dey finish .
Good luck.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by chrysso83(m): 2:24pm On Sep 12, 2023
For me I'm not building my living house with a woman, especially when it's my first house.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by Appletek: 2:24pm On Sep 12, 2023
LewisHamilton15:
That's just for a start. She promise to contribute much in the process as she also has a well paying job.

Well-paying job but her savings is ordinary 250k.
This girl wants to to ruin you but sex no gree you see front.
You're a big fool

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by ExudeLoveToAll: 2:26pm On Sep 12, 2023
LewisHamilton15:
That's just for a start. She promise to contribute much in the process as she also has a well paying job.

You guys should plan for that, you can concurrently do your marriage , live in a rented apartment, save for your building project and then build in three months when your funds are good.

One way one can go around this is, buy a good deal for a parcel of land at outskirt the city center, allow it to stay for five years , within this five years your building funds is 100percent complete.

If at the end of the five years you ain't still ok with the area where the land is located you can still trade it off and buy a new one where your current status reached, boom your house is ready.

If you must go with her plans then multi tasking is out of it, you postpone your marriage plan for your building, I don't see this as a viable option simce both of you earn well. You can plan with your income and take activities together going forward.

Why not do an economic analysis of both options and make a cogent assertion as to why your options should fly.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by gassbee: 2:26pm On Sep 12, 2023
Solofresh2:
Good.But when a woman wants you, she won't even bother about the house
she values asset more than the husband
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by izonborn098(m): 2:27pm On Sep 12, 2023
My man even 50m sef'' before u know ur money don finish...
LaSenior:
Even if I have 30million I won't build house

Money wey I go use invest in my guest house plans

Taaaah at least I will live in a rented apartments for 7years before planning to build my house

Building house when you are still hustling no make Sense invest in landed properties first
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by ayyoughurt(m): 2:28pm On Sep 12, 2023
LewisHamilton15:
My girlfriend isn't that type.




Na rubbish that guy deh yarn…he’s daft….
But I feel the lady isn’t complex enough…you don’t build a house together when you haven’t gotten married. Who does that? Things doesn’t work that way. Everything has stages. Get married first and proceed. What if something happens Godforbid, and u couldn’t be together again?
And secondly waiting to build house before getting married will waste you ppl time. Because it’s obvious you can’t make it work within 6months… ur time will be wasted. You can have d conversation with ur own parent or hers. So they can advise her better. Get married first and start developing.
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by NOwazobia: 2:28pm On Sep 12, 2023
My kind of person, though.
Re: My Fiancee Said We Must Have A House Before Getting Married by AntiWailer: 2:29pm On Sep 12, 2023
Tell her to bring money na.

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