ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Sex isn't life bro. I'm a sex freaking addict but I happen to be married to a most loving lady whom doesn't share same enthusiasm when it comes to sex.

It doesn't bother me at all and I have since learnt to do stuffs to get off on my own. Divorcing your wife is the stupidest thing you could ever do. Jeez

Have you thought of separating from her instead of fiing divorce? In these modern days it's hard shocking anyone. If she values the marriage she will do your bidding.

Same goes for most of these marriage palavas, separate for like a year and if the person doesn't come around then divorce and let them be.

Acidosis:
You no try, sir. You earn 700k and all you have to spend on your family with kids is 100k every month, leaving your wife to cook, clean, wash, do nanny work and market runs, and probably still do her regular job, and you expect her to give you hot sex? With which energy, please? The same energy you could have preserved by spending extra 50k on a good cleaner or cook?

Give yourself a heavy knock on the head.

I shock when I read that part

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Give her 1m to go get her life back🤨 In this age and time?? Wowww, u deserve some rounds of applause

ADURA123:


No...this I can swear with anything...she is not just meeting my sexual needs, simple, she complained I have too much sex drive and she is not ready to be killed.

I will advise you buy her some Aphrodisiac she will come begging and it's natural with load's of health benefits.Just 3k can get you Goron Tula and Sugar Lumps.

Please don't leave her because what she's passing through actually has a solution, she's not the first woman experiencing low libido.

Try get this two items and observe her for some weeks,first of all tell her you plan divorcing but you're ready to make it work.

No sane woman will want to leave her home.
Shalom!!!

I don't know why people are lying in this formum. Some will come saying they earn 500k a month, some will say 700k. Is it not the same Nigeria that there is no work no money, no food that we all are living? Where are you guys seeing the jobs and big big monthly pay? Nigerians are indeed hypocrite and liars

I will rather cheat codedly than divorce her

ADURA123:


I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you

Lol. You a leaving a woman you love, leaving your kids cause of sex but you want to go and be alone? Why are you deceiving yourself? Who is caging you in the marriage? If you want to enter town, do it with your full chest, stop the self deceit

ADURA123:


No...this I can swear with anything...she is not just meeting my sexual needs, simple, she complained I have too much sex drive and she is not ready to be killed.

Guy, you're the problem. I even thought she was cheating. But from what you said, she is clean. Your libidos are not compatible. But you can slow down through self discipline. Moreover,do you do pre-intimacy with your wife or you just pounce on her like a useless cat? Women need pre-intimacy to be put in the mood. They enjoy it more than the sex self. Change your style if you're dry and uninteresting. My take!

Acidosis:
You no try, sir. You earn 700k and all you have to spend on your family with kids is 100k every month, leaving your wife to cook, clean, wash, do nanny work and market runs, and probably still do her regular job, and you expect her to give you hot sex? With which energy, please? The same energy you could have preserved by spending extra 50k on a good cleaner or cook?

Give yourself a heavy knock on the head.

😄

ArcSEMPECJ:
■ Lols which standards are you referring to? For heaven's sake, we are talking about human beings here.... You don't impose yourself on your fellow human because you feel you married them.... That you have a dog at home doesn't mean you should treat the dog like an animal simply because your standard says "it is a dog "...You should treat your wife as a human being who has feelings and a say of her own than thinking your nonsense standard MUST be met....The best the O.P can do is to get himself a sex doll....because even the most sex addict of a woman on Earth will sometimes feel like not having sex for months even years...So advice the OP to buy sex dulls that he can impose his standard on and it won't complain...

LOL... you folks like to dissect issues as though you are one-dimensional in your reasoning. OP wants out of the marriage. Must he treat himself as less than human in order that the woman can feel human?

Compared to the adulterous culture that is Nigeria today, OP is actually choosing to treat his wife like a human being by divorcing her. How can you folks claim understanding of morality when the vast majority on this threat continues to suggest OP engage in adultery rather than free his wife from a contract he admits he is no longer able to keep?

Maryam1234:
■ I will advise you buy her some Aphrodisiac she will come begging and it's natural with load's of health benefits.Just 3k can get you Goron Tula and Sugar Lumps. Please don't leave her because what she's passing through actually has a solution, she's not the first woman experiencing low libido. Try get this two items and observe her for some weeks,first of all tell her you plan divorcing but you're ready to make it work.No sane woman will want to leave her home. Shalom!!!

And should her heart give her under the stress of the aphrodisiac on her heart and maybe body, OP becomes a murderer? Are you for real?

Do not do that wicked thing of leaving her.

Think of your children together.

Report her to her go to person and you will see improvement.

Ortintin:
Have you thought of separating from her instead of fiing divorce? In these modern days it's hard shocking anyone. If she values the marriage she will do your bidding. Same goes for most of these marriage palavas, separate for like a year and if the person doesn't come around then divorce and let them be.

She will do his bidding, literally live an uncomfortable existence all so she can hang on to Mrs. Badge. Would you ever advice your own daughter to do that for any man?

Sex is very important in marriage,even in the Bible,couples were instructed not to starve their partners of it,before I married my I compel her to sign an agreement that anytime I ask for it she must offer me except she is sick,seeing her period or very tired.
Bro,don’t divorce her unaware for the sake of your kids ,talk to her about it again if she acting the same way,then call a family meeting on the matter tell them if she continues like that you will get a second,I believe she will giving you like never before.

Have heart to heart talk with her over this. If she still stubborn, it is better you cheat than divorce a woman that gave these sterling qualities. Cheat secretly, clean your mouth very well. Get a friend with benefits, life is too short not to enjoy

Father4all:
I don't know why people are lying in this formum. Some will come saying they earn 500k a month, some will say 700k. Is it not the same Nigeria that there is no work no money, no food that we all are living? Where are you guys seeing the jobs and big big monthly pay? Nigerians are indeed hypocrite and liars

You'd be surprised that people still make money in Nigeria. If you're not seeing people who make money then you might need to change your crowd.

Painful that you see a monthly salary of $600 as big big money.

Mombebe:

Get out, how much do you make in a month?
Did the wife complain about the upkeep money oga?
Na the op brought this up on himself to sort for advice from NL that's full of so many knuckle heads that can not even manage a home like this moniker, instead of giving advice (if you have any) you're complaining of the upkeep money on the wife's behalf.
The born of contention is lack of intimacy which the man has tried so much to endure for a long while now,which I feel it isn't enough to just let go off the marriage, but an unemployed and ogogoro person like you is busy calculating how much he should have been giving the wife,I don't think you should put mouth in this Matter, go to politics forum and comment, that's where we find something that looks like a human being venting out there frustration on each other.

Are you male or female? Please answer, so I'll know how to respond to your tears.

JONSYN7154:
Yes everything is wrong.

Why take advice from your father when him and your mother are enjoying their own marriage?

Think twice before divorcing her so that you won't regret it later.

My ten kobo advice.

Him mama dey give him papa the kain problems him dey face?

Harddiskng:


What are writing, is it everyday you clean your house vigorously?

Oga when i was younger, my mum would cook for a whole month on one Saturday and put all in the freezer.
You don’t any reasonable point. Someone earning 700k in Nigeria, do you think he goes to work to play?? Do you know the emotional trauma some people endure to keep their jobs? Is wanting sex from his wife out of place? From the look of things she refuses him sex for an extended period of time.

Well I can’t advise OP

I would maintain my stance, marry someone that matches your sexual energy. You see early he/she doesn’t like sex and you like sex. Madam/Oga don’t marry him/her, leave him/her! Or it would end in tears

No wahala. Marry someone like your mother. All the best.

So after enduring all these years for the project to mature by 2024. Her own dividend will be #1m and a divorce papers?

If it's your sister will you like it?
I am a victim of low libido and I can tell you many factors are involved..
1) overworking yourself daytime
2) nothing interest you nor turns you on again

Please let her pause on home chores.
Other medical aspect of it can also be looked into.
Please don't divorce her. She may not be happy with what's happening to her too for not meeting up with her hubby's demand.
The table may turn tomorrow and she will be the tigress.

ADURA123:


You dey M*D ni? did you not read the part I said I am investing on a project she is aware of? Does that not tell you it was our agreement to give her that?

Mod: This project is costing me over 7-8 by end of 2024 where the dividend will start flowing in?

Most of u are single and don't understand what the man is going through.
Mine is just like this man own , me even open provision shop 2m for madam .
she don't sleep same room with me
It's been more than 3 months we had sex ,
I take care of all bills , she don't help with bills, I take my cloths to dry cleaner , I don't eat at home except Sundays cus I leave early and I didn't eat at NYT so whTs my benefit in marriage except having kids .
Marriage favour only women not men

jagaban002:
Most of u are single and don't understand what the man is going through.
Mine is just like this man own , me even open provision shop 2m for madam .
she don't sleep same room with me
It's been more than 3 months we had sex ,
I take care of all bills , she don't help with bills, I take my cloths to dry cleaner , I don't eat at home except Sundays cus I leave early and I didn't eat at NYT so whTs my benefit in marriage except having kids .
Marriage favour only women not men

Wetin this one dey talk now! Go whine on your own thread and stop pretending you are in the same shoes as OP abeg!

Divorce that woman at your own risk,we human can never be satisfied.You will regret it.

Offpointng:


Of all things wey u talk Nothing pain me pass this one wey u talk. Aunty na ur FAMILY wey dey synonymous to wretchedness and poverty, not Africa.

How dare you get so brain washed that you have to call the Motherland what slave masters want you to believe??

No Phones and Computers in the world will function if Cobalt are not sourced from Africa.

France are rich today cuz of Gold from Africa

USA don't have oil but are oil richest today cuz of Oil theft from Africa

Africa is saving the world from Climate change effects cuz of It's large Lithium deposit and Gas

Your likes that use any Oppurtunity to talk down on Africa disgust me so much. Yes Africa are synonymous with Bad leaders, but Poverty and wretchedness?? Never in your life repeat such words. Can you imagine??

Don't mind the saucy entity... The white man he de try use scope wan copy check most of their homes ..The wifes still take control if the kitchen without the mentality we think here that the wife is no slave ..na lie their wife still cook everyday and bring food to the dinning table for their family ... Na over sabi de worry this one's here

yankison:
■ Don't mind the saucy entity... The white man he de try use scope wan copy check most of their homes ..The wifes still take control if the kitchen without the mentality we think here that the wife is no slave ..na lie their wife still cook everyday and bring food to the dinning table for their family ... Na over sabi de worry this one's here

There is no concrete truth to that claim actually as more and more men have taken to cooking meaning more even in their marriages do it as opposed to allowing the woman do it alone!

This study finds that home cooking in the United States appears to be on the rise, both in terms of the percent of the US population who cooks and — except for men with less than high school education — the amount of time spent cooking. For men, this continues the trend towards increased home cooking. A previous study found that the percent of men who cooked increased from 29% in 1965 to 42% in 2007 , and current results show a further increase to 46% in 2016. For women, these findings indicate a leveling off or even a reversal of previous trends, as the percent of women who cooked decreased from 92% in 1965 to 68% in 2007 , but rebounded slightly to 70% in 2016. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5881182

Learn to help your wife in doing chores at home or get a house help. Your sex life will improve drastically.

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Please view this Video


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWvehrzZrBY

incogni2o:
Please view this Video

Are you trying to hoodwink OP into believing that the average 50% divorce/abandonment rate that is Nigeria today no dey affect even people from the family of that your pastors or even his church members?

Acidosis:


Are you male or female? Please answer, so I'll know how to respond to your tears.

It took me time to reply to your comment because I know all you're commenting was coming from a place of alcohol intoxication.
You have never been married, that's why you can comment rubbish,has your father ever given your mother up to 5k for monthly upkeep before in his lifetime??
Answer..so that I will know the kind of individual I'm dealing with here Nkita.

NoToPile:


The woman does have a right to complain with the appetite.

Though I have seen a thread on this same NL where a man said he expects to have sex with his wife everyday, a mother with a toddler and he didn't see anything wrong with it.

And has she complained?

Has she discussed with her husband and told him her problem which can range from exhaustion due to chores to his lack of skills/hygiene or a lower libido compared to his or the fact she needs to recharge for a day or two before another episode or his lack of romance or hormonal imbalance or any health issues?

If the frequency is the issue for instance, has she tried negotiating with him? Daddy wa, 4 to 5 times a week twice a day is too much for me. I can guarantee you 2 to 3 times a week once a day but when I am done with you, you will see stars?

If it is exhaustion, Daddy wa, running the home drains me. I would need a maid for XYZ so that I can have more energy for you?

Ditto lack of romance or hygiene or whatever.

What I see is a lot of emotional blackmail towards the OP for a legitimate need. Others would rather he cheats than honorably divorce his wife.

The wife is not a baby and should be emotionally intelligent enough to discuss with her husband and they both reach a compromise that suits their marriage.

Acidosis:


Workload is the amount of work you'd prefer your wife to do to the point of exhaustion, rather than spending 2% of your income on a cleaner.

Y'all wicked men will buy expensive phones for your girlfriends that contribute absolutely nothing to your lives, but watch your wife at home work herself to a state of exhaustion and unconsciousness.

Domestic work is now work load? I wonder what our mothers will have said back then in the 80's. Work loadings