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My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Kobojunkie: 9:51pm On Sep 22, 2023
Openfortruth:
■ When did you start making money? When learning how to make money or after learning how to make money?
You need to confront your brother to clearly understand his perspective on things and also what his expectation of you in this is. Then you can ask for help from your parents or relatives if truly he refuses to help you with this. You have to speak to him about it since it is clearly disturbing. undecided

4 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by majesticguy: 10:08pm On Sep 22, 2023
trendyprettygir:


You and the 9 people who liked this comment have serious issues. How can an elder sibling starve his younger sibling? He didn't say his brother didn't buy him a car, or build him a house. He said food. He goes to bed hungry, treks distances. How can you deny your younger sibling - same father and mother, especially as he is not yet earning. Even if they are step brothers how can you starve your sibling and pretend like this over food.

What is this world turning into? Food? Ordinary food? For food, brothers are turning against each other.

Na Wa o..

Honestly, I feel like shedding tears.. Denying your blood Food....Food? Ordinary Food? I just don't know how some people think.

I don't really key into this entitlement mentality bullsh.it, it's just another phrase for pure wickedness..As long as I am well to do financially, I owe my siblings financial stability. What's the essence of having wealth or money if you can't make a change in the lives of your siblings, sibblings who probably can't afford their next meal or a better life. isn't it better to make that person financially stable, empower them so they can cater for themselves and that way, you rid yourselves of envy, jealousy and hatred.

28 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Openfortruth: 10:15pm On Sep 22, 2023
Same thing I'm going through this night. I'm going to bed hungry.

3 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Stevenbright(m): 10:17pm On Sep 22, 2023
Openfortruth:
I greet you all Nairalanders.

Please permit me to share this thing my brother is doing to me.

As my life was about to become useless in the village, I came to the city to stay with my older brother and learn phone repairs.

My plan is to have this handwork so that when i gain admission, i wont rely totally only on education which has failed many in the country.

But my blood brother I'm staying with is behaving unkind to me as though i am a total stranger to him. Even total strangers deserve better treatment.

I'm only an apprenctice and yet to start making money. Most of the days, i trek to the place and return because I dont have transport.

He leave house first before me and return before me too. Before I would come back, he would cook noodles and finish it, washed the pot and everything and keep them clean as though nothing happened. Sometimes he eat outside and come back home and ignore me.

Except there's another way for me, that is how I would go hungry throughout the night and as early as possible in the morning, he would leave the house without reasoning anything food.

I'm seriously starving. I thought he would share the little he has with me till I also start making money. Is this how a senior brother should behave with the junior one?

He's being unkind to me and now I feel like hiding the Garri I brought from the village from him.

But is this how we should behave as blood brothers?

He can't even be there for me to free from this apprenticeship.

Do you do house chores and do you respect him?

How is your communication with him like?

Your sincere answers to the above questions and changes where necessary, might be of help to you.
Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Kobojunkie: 10:17pm On Sep 22, 2023
Openfortruth:
Same thing I'm going through this night. I'm going to bed hungry.
Talk to him today. Bring up the issue and get the answers you need from him. Then you can call up your parents and work through what to do with them. undecided

1 Like

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by darealez(m): 10:27pm On Sep 22, 2023
Openfortruth:
I greet you all Nairalanders.

Please permit me to share this thing my brother is doing to me.

As my life was about to become useless in the village, I came to the city to stay with my older brother and learn phone repairs.

My plan is to have this handwork so that when i gain admission, i wont rely totally only on education which has failed many in the country.

But my blood brother I'm staying with is behaving unkind to me as though i am a total stranger to him. Even total strangers deserve better treatment.

I'm only an apprenctice and yet to start making money. Most of the days, i trek to the place and return because I dont have transport.

He leave house first before me and return before me too. Before I would come back, he would cook noodles and finish it, washed the pot and everything and keep them clean as though nothing happened. Sometimes he eat outside and come back home and ignore me.

Except there's another way for me, that is how I would go hungry throughout the night and as early as possible in the morning, he would leave the house without reasoning anything food.

I'm seriously starving. I thought he would share the little he has with me till I also start making money. Is this how a senior brother should behave with the junior one?

He's being unkind to me and now I feel like hiding the Garri I brought from the village from him.

But is this how we should behave as blood brothers?

He can't even be there for me to free from this apprenticeship.

My dear, you're actually very right. Don't mind all these fellas saying thrash. Family is born to help each other. Unfortunately it doesn't always happen that way. Please, double up and look for more ways to get money.

Beg if you have to... If you can stay alive you can win. However, don't you hate him. He's helped you from the village already, take that as his little help!

6 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Mindlog: 10:28pm On Sep 22, 2023
Nasri100:


I mean you probably been in Naija all your life so how would you understand responsibility in the real world. I don't blame you.

The child support was in a (). I added it to explain how parents would understand how demanding and expensive it is to raise kids in the right way into adulthood, not those suffering and smiling upbringing in the Nigerian culture.

If OP was born into a proper setting, do you think he would be be waiting for his elder brother to come home from work to feed him? grin grin grin

You don't mean it! shocked shocked shocked

4 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Mommadd(f): 10:42pm On Sep 22, 2023
Well, personally I wouldn't do this to anyone talk more of my own blood but everyone is not me and I don't know all the details so I won't judge him. However, let me ask if it was both your arrangements before you came.

For now, my sincere advice will be, take everything in good faith, relate with him well, show respect, share whatever you have with him and dont pay him back in his own coin as two wrongs can never make a right, this is not easy to do but trust me, if you can this, it will change alot of things for the better both in your relationship and even in your personal life.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Nobody: 10:53pm On Sep 22, 2023
darealez:


My dear, you're actually very right. Don't mind all these fellas saying thrash. Family is born to help each other. Unfortunately it doesn't always happen that way. Please, double up and look for more ways to get money.

Beg if you have to... If you can stay alive you can win. However, don't you hate him. He's helped you from the village already, take that as his little help!


I hear that all the time.

I am the only one that helps for example, why have the rest never helped me. Must help always come from one side. He his lucky to have a roof over his head. I will never house a family member except I am living alone.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by DavidEsq(m): 12:04am On Sep 23, 2023
Mindlog:


Dropping something for younger ones according to your capacity, is not entitlement mentality. If Nigerian police pick any of them up, no be the other one go run around abi is their parents with them in the city?

Reality is that time flies so fast, 5 years from now the stupidity of this moments will look so infantile.

What really touched me is this "Before I would come back, he would cook noodles and finish it, washed the pot and everything and keep them clean as though nothing happened. Sometimes he eat outside and come back home and ignore me".......your own blood, your younger sibling goes to bed hungry after trekking back from where he is learning a skill, while you have eaten.....Schizoid Personality Disorder no pass this one o.
I'm glad u felt his pains. Life is now different from what it used to be. A man must now pick himself up with no hope of being assisted. To think I have lived that way for over 10 years and now realize I owe no one anything, begins to worry me now and I have to repeatedly question this feeling.

1 Like

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Kobojunkie: 12:06am On Sep 23, 2023
DavidEsq:
■ I'm glad u felt his pains. Life is now different from what it used to be. A man must now pick himself up with no hope of being assisted. To think I have lived that way for over 10 years and now realize I owe no one anything, begins to worry me now and I have to repeatedly question this feeling.
So, other parts of the world where this sort of thing is frowned upon are raising what, Pigmies? undecided

Una too dey make useless and easy excuses for what is apparent wickedness abeg! This is a sibling who is right now in training — school— and you think his elder brother starving him makes sense? undecided

9 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by DavidEsq(m): 12:07am On Sep 23, 2023
Skyview01:



I hear that all the time.

I am the only one that helps for example, why have the rest never helped me. Must help always come from one side. He his lucky to have a roof over his head. I will never house a family member except I am living alone.
I have stopped asking this question. It made me too stiff-necked. I became too rash and hard and because it became my world, I didn't realize how unusual some people saw it as.

1 Like

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by DavidEsq(m): 12:10am On Sep 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
So, other parts of the world where this sort of thing is frowned upon are raising what, Pigmies? undecided

Una too dey make useless and easy excuses for what is apparent wickedness abeg! This is a sibling who is right now in training — school— and you think his elder brother starving him makes sense? undecided
Sorry u misunderstood me. That statement u highlighted is my realization of the harsh reality many of us have come to accept. It is not my philosophy. ✌️✌️

1 Like

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Kobojunkie: 12:10am On Sep 23, 2023
Skyview01:
■ I hear that all the time. I am the only one that helps for example, why have the rest never helped me. Must help always come from one side. He his lucky to have a roof over his head. I will never house a family member except I am living alone.
The boy is in school — training as an apprentice. This makes no sense whatsoever. His brother has to have a better reason than the one you all keep offering up. undecided

9 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Kobojunkie: 12:13am On Sep 23, 2023
DavidEsq:
■ Sorry u misunderstood me. That statement u highlighted is my realization of the harsh reality many of us have come to accept. It is not my philosophy. ✌️✌️
This is really sad. Imagine someone even suggesting he should abandon the training he is undergoing at this time, and maybe ultimately quit his plan to attend college too. What a shame. undecided

10 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by DavidEsq(m): 12:17am On Sep 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
This is really sad. Imagine someone even suggesting he should abandon the training he is undergoing at this time, and maybe ultimately quit his plan to attend college too. What a shame. undecided
My brother, those if us who have seen life almost got numbed by it but thank God for helping us not to conquer evil with evil.

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by shogotermies(m): 12:24am On Sep 23, 2023
The first page of the thread, shows how irresponsible some people are.
If the brother couldn’t house him in the first place, he was suppose to tell him to stay back in the village.
These are the same men that will squander thousands of Naira on a random girl from Facebook.

An older sibling opt to be a leader, a friend, a father, a role model, a pace setter for the younger ones.
If you want your junior brother to man up, show him first that you are man enough.



The boy is barely 21, no skills yet, no tertiary education , no support from the one he calls brother.
And some of you were blaming MOHBAD’s family, most of y’all are worse.

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Nobody: 3:18am On Sep 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
The boy is in school — training as an apprentice. This makes no sense whatsoever. His brother has to have a better reason than the one you all keep offering up. undecided

I am inclined to agree with you to the extent I would not treat him badly like his brother is presently. He is still lucky to have a roof over his head though!

All the time I allowed family members live with ended badly as most do not understand boundaries and tend to have issues,I am likely never going to have a family live with me either now or in the future.

I would try make an alternative provision that will not include living in my home. In that regards, I would call him a lucky guy for having a roof over his head.

A lot of things must have transpired than the OP is letting on. Life is full of curve balls and he should learn to keep his head down, talk to his brother and I am sure they can work things out.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Aaaaarghmed(m): 6:05am On Sep 23, 2023
Some people replied tire me,to be an Elder broda is not a mere title,he supposed to be concerned since you are under his care,even if he doesnt have much,at least he can do the little he can.It is so bad that he does not feel responsible for you.your brother is wrong.The foolish people supporting him are psychos.Even our last born who is 25 and in 300level.i randomly call her to send her money ,airtime or Data.when I was in Naija.i sort her monthly.But now because of some unbalanced things .its random because I sit down and care alot to send her money.odinary indomie ,he cant give you.mtcheeew

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Aaaaarghmed(m): 6:07am On Sep 23, 2023
shogotermies:
The first page of the thread, shows how irresponsible some people are.
If the brother couldn’t house him in the first place, he was suppose to tell him to stay back in the village.
These are the same men that will squander thousands of Naira on a random girl from Facebook.

An older sibling opt to be a leader, a friend, a father, a role model, a pace setter for the younger ones.
If you want your junior brother to man up, show him first that you are man enough.



The boy is barely 21, no skills yet, no tertiary education , no support from the one he calls brother.
And some of you were blaming MOHBAD’s family, most of y’all are worse.


seriously broda,most nairalanders are heartless, I weak when I see their comments.Humanity don end.bad people everywhere

13 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by frozen70(f): 6:57am On Sep 23, 2023
Openfortruth:
I greet you all Nairalanders.

Please permit me to share this thing my brother is doing to me.

As my life was about to become useless in the village, I came to the city to stay with my older brother and learn phone repairs.

My plan is to have this handwork so that when i gain admission, i wont rely totally only on education which has failed many in the country.

But my blood brother I'm staying with is behaving unkind to me as though i am a total stranger to him. Even total strangers deserve better treatment.

I'm only an apprenctice and yet to start making money. Most of the days, i trek to the place and return because I dont have transport.

He leave house first before me and return before me too. Before I would come back, he would cook noodles and finish it, washed the pot and everything and keep them clean as though nothing happened. Sometimes he eat outside and come back home and ignore me.

Except there's another way for me, that is how I would go hungry throughout the night and as early as possible in the morning, he would leave the house without reasoning anything food.

I'm seriously starving. I thought he would share the little he has with me till I also start making money. Is this how a senior brother should behave with the junior one?

He's being unkind to me and now I feel like hiding the Garri I brought from the village from him.

But is this how we should behave as blood brothers?

He can't even be there for me to free from this apprenticeship.

You know what, people learn in different ways

Some hard way and some soft ways

Your brother maybe the I don't care type of person, so if that's who he is, don't expect much from him

You already know that you are not from a rich home, so bear all you have complained of

Just bear it if you can and unfortunately hunger is not something one can bear

I think you can discuss it with him that you are starving and hear what he will say

If his response ate negative, then you are into a big sheet

What next, look around if you can see family's who will need you to wash their cloths, especially young guys

You go to them, help wash their clothes and dry them in their premises or wherever that is safe, to avoid theft

Clean their house and wash their cars, then it on their clothes

This can be done on Sundays, forget about what people will say, that's not your business

Now
The main question I want to ask you is this
I hope this is not the person you are expecting to train you in the school, I mean university
Because you may face the worst hardship in school if you hope on him

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Nasri100(m): 7:49am On Sep 23, 2023
Openfortruth:
Same thing I'm going through this night. I'm going to bed hungry.

Send your bank account to my email

7 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Nasri100(m): 7:51am On Sep 23, 2023
My girlfriend saw my replies on this post and said i was insensitive grin

On a serious mood, your elder brother is suppose to take care of you. Leaving you hungry shows the problem is from his end and not you.

I take back my earlier post and apologize if i was insensitive to your plight.

Sorry about your ordeal and i hope things work out for you two.

My girlfriend also wishes a quick resolution to your predicament.

Good night.

3 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by FROGMAN101(m): 8:09am On Sep 23, 2023
Nasri100:


Send your bank account to my email


Look well before you send anybody money to anybody on this forum have been scammed before!

We have seen cases of people writing fake topics like this for sympathy be careful!

1 Like

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by pansophist(m): 8:37am On Sep 23, 2023
All this one-sided stories. I would have loved to hear from your brother.

You seems entitled, that someone owe you because you're blood relatives. That's a perfect recipe to failure. You'll have to paddle your own ship, and be grateful for little help.

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Openfortruth: 9:30am On Sep 23, 2023
Stevenbright:


Do you do house chores and do you respect him?

How is your communication with him like?

Your sincere answers to the above questions and changes where necessary, might be of help to you.

I'm the one that clean the house, wash his clothes when I wash my own, fetch water and do anything in the house.

Last night, I openly told him I haven't eaten and I'm very hungry. He told me I should bear it till this morning and he dropped N500 for me before he left for work this morning. I don't know if he wasn't even happy about it, he said I should help myself and not expect much from him.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Openfortruth: 9:34am On Sep 23, 2023
pansophist:
All this one-sided stories. I would have loved to hear from your brother.

You seems entitled, that someone owe you because you're blood relatives. That's a perfect recipe to failure. You'll have to paddle your own ship, and be grateful for little help.



Everything is not entitlement sir. I guess if a child complains of hunger, the mother should feel the child feels entitled to her food.

I have seen where the elderly ones stand as parents to the young ones in the absence of the real parents. At least this is not going to be for long. I'm making effort to make money and be on my own. I won't expect him to help me again then.

If I were in his position, I would do better for my younger one.

7 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Openfortruth: 9:37am On Sep 23, 2023
frozen70:


You know what, people learn in different ways

Some hard way and some soft ways

Your brother maybe the I don't care type of person, so if that's who he is, don't expect much from him

You already know that you are not from a rich home, so bear all you have complained of

Just bear it if you can and unfortunately hunger is not something one can bear

I think you can discuss it with him that you are starving and hear what he will say

If his response ate negative, then you are into a big sheet

What next, look around if you can see family's who will need you to wash their cloths, especially young guys

You go to them, help wash their clothes and dry them in their premises or wherever that is safe, to avoid theft

Clean their house and wash their cars, then it on their clothes

This can be done on Sundays, forget about what people will say, that's not your business

Now
The main question I want to ask you is this
I hope this is not the person you are expecting to train you in the school, I mean university
Because you may face the worst hardship in school if you hope on him

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it but he's not the one I'm hoping to sponsor my school.

1 Like

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Openfortruth: 9:40am On Sep 23, 2023
Nasri100:
My girlfriend saw my replies on this post and said i was insensitive grin

On a serious mood, your elder brother is suppose to take care of you. Leaving you hungry shows the problem is from his end and not you.

I take back my earlier post and apologize if i was insensitive to your plight.

Sorry about your ordeal and i hope things work out for you two.

My girlfriend also wishes a quick resolution to your predicament.

Good night.


Sir you have been very hard on me. I read your earlier comments and had nothing to reply you. May God bless your girlfriend for coming in.

1 Like

Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Stevenbright(m): 10:02am On Sep 23, 2023
Openfortruth:


I'm the one that clean the house, wash his clothes when I wash my own, fetch water and do anything in the house.

Last night, I openly told him I haven't eaten and I'm very hungry. He told me I should bear it till this morning and he dropped N500 for me before he left for work this morning. I don't know if he wasn't even happy about it, he said I should help myself and not expect much from him.

Ok, I see.

He doing what he wants to do. But then you have to appreciate the fact that you have where to stay and ensure you don't nurse any grievance against him.

Just continue to manage till you start being able to get something from where you are apprenticing.

If where you are learning is a busy place, you can ask your oga to also permit you to do marketing by standing in a strategic location and asking people if they want to repair their phones and any customer that comes through you, your oga should find you small thing to hold body. You can ask him to give you one or two hours for this daily.
Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by Openfortruth: 10:06am On Sep 23, 2023
Nasri100:


Send your bank account to my email


Thank you for this sir. I would appreciate it a lot. This would come at a point of my need, but I cannot find your email to send it. If you permit me, I can drop the details here. Please my email:
johndan4you@gmail.com, if you are not comfortable to drop your own.
Re: My Brother Is Not Helping Me. He Prefers To Starve Me. by murphyrichy(m): 10:08am On Sep 23, 2023
This is basically to say that your brother doesn't have much, and he's pretending to have. He would have come out open and let you know that he is struggling to earn a living.

1 Like

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