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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... (27782 Views)
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Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Kingpele(m): 11:39am On Oct 14, 2023 |
As a married man of 13years experience I will advise u to talk to anyone you know he respect so much ..the person might be the person that will give him the kind of words he needs to get serious with life ...u are lucky he's even a graduate...I know of a guy who was doing well abroad..had wife and children but since he got deported..he's idle for years now ...the wife over love him ..the wife is a nurse in state hospital..she's the one taking up all the expenses and rents and she is always cheerful...the husband is boasting he can't work under anyone in this country...that he want to travel again...now lemme tell u the truth one of your regrets might be that men with money is trying to get u into a serious relationship and u wish u were still single to catch a big man...dear talk to your husband with respect and love with that and also with the help of his people...he will have reasons to get serious with life |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by unwana07(m): 11:42am On Oct 14, 2023 |
Why alwaz going back to your parents house. if your parents house was not available, What would you have done?. My Advice @ fix ur husband.. Play an Expensive PRANK on him Dat will make him Wake up from his Slumber. I believe he loves you, but is allowing his frustration control him. Ur husband is not seeing clearly.. U need a quiet place without noise to communicate to God and ur solution Wil be crystal clear |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by ayenika1: 11:43am On Oct 14, 2023 |
preshpraiz: Madam, separate your purity from the realities of life. You failed on your due diligence on your man. The little characteristics of yours have proven that he can wither the storm of life which is the reality. Now is change your mindset. Forget about your purity. Sit your man down and tell him the hard truth. Check if he will raise his hands or promise to take steps. Start pushing him life a faulty car till the ignition works. You both need to reset your path to the current reality before you find yourself in the social welfare office. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Sergio103(m): 11:45am On Oct 14, 2023 |
AntiChristian: Lol ![]() |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Wujio: 11:46am On Oct 14, 2023 |
Nwodosis: It is hypocrisy to only touch areas the woman needs to work upon leaving the lack of finances and the man out of it totally. Do you have partial blindness? I didn't see you say a man who doesn't take care of his home is worse than an infidel and suggesting that the man like a true father should do should hunt for any kind of job. You bashed the woman toning down her goodness because you want women to appear guilty. A man that doesn't take care of his home is an infidel Let's stop putting women in horrible state please 8 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by yeldey: 11:46am On Oct 14, 2023 |
PhillipPHD: Similar scenerio happened to someone I know. He lost his job during Covid. Wife left him to go back to her parent house. He got another job same day the wife left. Wife came back but the marriage never remained the same. He abandoned the wife and left for Canada lol. Sweet revenge. 3 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Wujio: 11:48am On Oct 14, 2023 |
sonofthunder: It is hypocrisy to only touch areas the woman needs to work upon leaving the lack of finances and the man out of it totally. Do you have partial blindness? I didn't see you say a man who doesn't take care of his home is worse than an infidel and suggesting that the man like a true father should do should hunt for any kind of job. You bashed the woman toning down her goodness because you want women to appear guilty. A man that doesn't take care of his home is an infidel Let's stop putting women in horrible state please 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Omoawoke2(m): 11:48am On Oct 14, 2023 |
preshpraiz: Welcome to the real world That you married as a virgin doesn't mean you will live happily ever after. 4 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by remiopash: 11:48am On Oct 14, 2023 |
preshpraiz:You were not wrong about your decision, it is just that the other side has failed to fulfil part of the contract. It is a two-way thing .No need to worry much about his actions or inactions. Gird up your loins and look for the next best option. Stop depending on him for finances for now. Live like he is not existing . The option of moving to your parent's house is not bad,if he fails to renew the rent or commit to the welfare of the family. It is a beginning of a new beginning. Look for best ways to be responsible for your children welfare ,it might not be easy . |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Wujio: 11:48am On Oct 14, 2023 |
socialmediaman: It is hypocrisy to only touch areas the woman needs to work upon leaving the lack of finances and the man out of it totally. Do you have partial blindness? I didn't see you say a man who doesn't take care of his home is worse than an infidel and suggesting that the man like a true father should do should hunt for any kind of job. You bashed the woman toning down her goodness because you want women to appear guilty. A man that doesn't take care of his home is an infidel Let's stop putting women in horrible state please 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Philomath1212: 11:50am On Oct 14, 2023 |
If this story is true... Both of you deserve each other... You could have just stated what your lusting mind is longing for instead of all these lamentations. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Philomath1212: 11:51am On Oct 14, 2023 |
yeldey: ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by atobs4real(m): 11:52am On Oct 14, 2023 |
bonnyhope:I know. This shouldn't be a news. Virginity is choice making and should kept by you with your God Will virginity bring her food and others needs? 4 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by gidjah(m): 11:52am On Oct 14, 2023 |
I love your quote;aome persons have never stollen before ,but yet live poor,some never had sex before yet ended up with HIV AIDS ,..what a mystery the world is.Bit you didn't finish your advice ,how does she handle a man who couldn't fend for the family and house rent has expired ? She also said she has no money to even pay. For the rent ? Complete your advice or counsel sir .She isn't admiring the outside world , a man like you and I is responsible for the frustration this amazing soul is passing through .Is this d only way you would have counsel if she were your only sister ? Benefritso: 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by aameyah(f): 11:53am On Oct 14, 2023 |
In addition to what I have said earlier, ladies due diligence is a must. We don't entrust our school certificates to strangers on the road, but at the mention of marriage most will entrust their lives (which is way more important) to one atutupopoyo that has no serious ambition in life. Date. Date. Date. As a single. That is how you become smarter and know exactly what you want in a marriage. Some husbands are only meant to be boyfriends for the moment (have fun with them and vamoose). They are not meant for anything permanent. That is why the so-called bad girls make smarter choices. They understand the psychology of these naija men. Igbos are even trying. They will do small diligence before marriage. Others will meet and say 'we love each other and have decided to marre'. ![]() This is Nigeria where women do not have it good. Do your diligence. ![]() 9 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Nwodosis(m): 11:53am On Oct 14, 2023 |
Wujio:So she should do away with the infidel and move to parent's house? |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by gidjah(m): 11:55am On Oct 14, 2023 |
Your advice is fair enough to guide her.i only see most here trying to nail a young frustrating lad y who came into the union (with great hopes which is not even a crime by the way ).She's already depressed as we all can see but why are some harsh minds adding salt to her pepper !?? Let be human and help think like she's our only sister oo !! remiopash: 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by OvertheTop(m): 11:58am On Oct 14, 2023 |
atobs4real: LOL ![]() You are Making all these ladies that have Destroyed their Puna Before marriage happy in Justification ![]() ![]() Anyways You are right Sha....This Life no Really Balance at all.... eg. You can have the best Upbringing Morally and the best result in School and have NO JOB or become very unsuccessful in Life compared to the people who had wanted to be like you initially. ![]() ![]() eg. You can preserve your health, avoid smoking, drinking, clubbing etc, and still die Young. ![]() ![]() This life No Balance At all!! 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Gee64: 11:59am On Oct 14, 2023 |
Many women out there are looking for husbands to even take care of but here are you complaining about a man you feed for probably only three months. ![]() Women are so selfish! 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by novodecipher: 12:08pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Madam, first and foremost never compare yourself with anyone let alone what you see on social media. Everyone has it's own cross the carry... that's the reality of life. As for your hubby, if he's helping out in home chores, it's a good sign of good upbringing and someone who is family oriented and humble. He being picky or lazy to job hunt can be a sign of depression. Of course no man, will be happy not being able to provide for his family, you will need encourage him with love and respect. If it means applying for the jobs on his behalfs and securing it for him. Please, do it. He will definitely snap out of it and will thank you later. As for you, your mental health matters too. If you feel taking a break at your family house will help and also help your hubby seat up. Please, do. But always have it at the back of mind, marriage is not a bed of roses....ask any couple who are celebrating silver or golden jubilee of their union. Life will always throw spanner at your wheels. May God bless your home, and give you wisdom to navigate through life |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Easyincome24: 12:08pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
1) You are such a good woman to keep your virginity, no doubt about that. Unfortunately, no award for such in this life. We have seen wayward ladies end up having a good marriage. 2) Covid affected many homes, no man will be happy not providing financially for his home. Your hubby's case is different in that he is fixated on getting a job in multi-national. This too is not bad but the reality for now is that none yet. 3) He is depressed, hoping he would be lucky through gambling. Some of us were too, but we never left our hope on such unrealistic chance. I for one, lost so much to Forex, Crypto, Gambling and some multi-level marketing. There is a lesson to learn, which is retracing our ways, today, it's not all high hopes but all well and fine for a normal life. 4) You need to help him, if you can speak with friends and family that your hubby needs a job. Women are influential, anyone could be moved by your tender heart to helping your husband. 5) Drop whatever comparison you nurture. Social media, school mates etc, everyone is here on a journey. Some makes it earlier than others. The only thing you can do is to be your better person. 6) Three children to take care of, house rent is due, hubby out of job with nonchalant attitude towards life including gambling. These you have identified as the hurdles in your life presently, they will soon be over if you follow God's leading. 7) If you feel like going to your parents place due to the expired rent, don't deny him access to the kids. If you also shut your heart against him, he might end up being worst than he his. Just be harmless, prayerful and offer good words anytime altercation comes up. People of his kind are usually angered by any slight provocation which may lead to abuse. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by darkmarky(m): 12:14pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
moniesomp:it has always been money issues with this gender bro. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Michaelkelvin1(m): 12:18pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
preshpraiz: Hmmm .. look I believe your husband doesn't want to settle for less but on the other hand your a human being tooo.. maybe you try letting him know that the weight is bigger than what you can carry and he should find a way to come supporting the family in the ways he can ... But if he's to stubborn to hear your cry meh just move on. Ask for a devorce and go with your kids and try to focus on your kids or you may find love again |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by BRATISLAVA: 12:19pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
sonofthunder: Why is her virginity more important to you than her gambling, lazy king? Why is the only thing you can come up with cheating? A woman who has a lazy husband should have her virginity or vagina monitored by you when she says she has a problem with her unmotivated husband, yet you ask why she mentioned her virginity? Why is your second paragraph as unhelpful a solution as you could come up with as your last paragraph? Surely you would have a lot to preach if it were the husband with this matter. 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Prosperity4All: 12:20pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
preshpraiz:Nothing last forever. Good times will pass Bad Times will pass This current situation will also pass, that is for sure. So do not allow a passing situation leave an indelible mark on your marriage. You say your hubby is pressing phone and gambling, you make it sound like you married an irresponsible man or he just turned into one overnight...hmmm. Think again, the situation is tougher for him than it is on you. Forget about your problems and focus on possible solutions. That will be your greatest takeaway when this situation passes. Thank God you are earning monthly and now the breadwinner of your family, keep respectful communication with your husband centered around exploring options to restore his income. Cut cost drastically. Get a smaller apartment, maybe hubby can help with home-schooling the kids to save school fees, at this point only essentials like feeding and health care finances should not be compromised. Your family will be fine. Hang in Shalom |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by unscripted(m): 12:22pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Nwodosis:in all that is said ,, all you have to say is to blame the woman .. wow 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by qtx(m): 12:23pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
preshpraiz:Its quite bad you are in that situation. How well did you even know this guy before marriage. Because its most likely you didnt know he was into gambling before you got married. The truth about gambling is that the gamblers always hoping and building plans on games the predict which even the game vendors 90% percent are also not sure of the results. They can sell anything including human being to game. The reaso he is insisting on multinationals for employment is because he has an option and that is the fact that you are still supporting. First, you need to find a way to get him out of the gambling habit , i know that is a herculean task. And have you spoken to him in the middle of the night i mean heart to heart discussion? Are you guys christians? Seek family assistance to advise, pastors , good friends, mentors etc to talk to him. Also while doing all that, pray. Discourage him from any friend that is luring him into that habit. He needs to get a job. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Myer(m): 12:24pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
preshpraiz: I'm curious, in this outpouring of your heart, you never mentioned God. That's the missing piece of your puzzle. Virginity is a virtue and obviously you and your husband seem to be good people. However, the world is evil and unpredictable. We need God to navigate through life and it's unpredictability and intricacy. Please don't wait any longer, invite him into your life. Let Jesus Christ become the Head of your home. Things will start adding up with time. And your path will start shining brighter and brighter until the perfect day. Grace, Mercy and Peace multiplied to you. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by atobs4real(m): 12:24pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
OvertheTop:100℅ correct 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by BRATISLAVA: 12:24pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
gidjah: The first sensible comment on this thread. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by jmoore(m): 12:24pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Wetin concern virginity and your present condition? |
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