Na wa o. This life one has to use sense o. I'm happy I brought the matter here cos the words people have used to described were shocking.

Her children came to meet me this morning that they wanna help me with chores and I refused. I asked them to go back home.

Few minutes later the mother came to my house requesting why I've been ignoring her calls. I told her I don't want anything to do with her or her children as I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of her kids or sending them errands.

She said I'm the only one since they have moved here who has taken care of her kids. That people send them errands a lot and don't even give the kids food or money for the work they do.

That her kids love coming to me cos I care for them. She gave instances of a woman who would call her 13yr old daughter to grind pepper/ wash clothes and do all sorts of errands but this Lady has not given her children 1kobo.

She said I don't stress her children or leave them hungry. That the whole thing was a misunderstanding.

I just began thanking God from my heart that her mother said all these from her mouth. Life is deep o.
These children I care for them like my own/ gave clothes and food. They're never hungry in my house and I always feel happy when they're eating to satisfaction cos I have a conscience.
You see that it was her children who came on their own this morning to meet me. I didn't call anyone to come to meet me God is my witness

The things they even buy for me its what I used to Cook for them to eat which I eat along too. She said I should forget everything.

The 13yr old daughter I'm even teaching her about her menses flow and circle. Her mother didn't teach her that and she told me she missed her period and she's scared of telling her mom. It was me who calmed her down. Told her it's normal for her age as her body has not regulated yet to be having regular periods.

It was me she ran to tell her period has come as I promised. She was scared of being pregnant. Do I look like one who has been taken advantage of her children? If i was some monster as being painted here would her children come to me on their own?

Well. Life is deep. Please whatever you're doing to help people always look after your own self cos the narrative may change tomorrow that you're the bad one.

I still don't want to be closed to her children or her. I'm thoroughly shaken by the turn of events. I need my own space for my mental health.

I heard the father beat the child who refused to come to me. I don't want that.

All this is even making me emotional. I don't know who's lying between the mother or child.

I'm happy to hear I'm the only person in the neighborhood who has taken care of her children and they love coming to my house. At least I take some comfort in knowing the kids were happy. May God bless everyone.
It is well.

Kkins25 thanks for your support.
All those who uplifted my spirit thanks.

The mother has cleared the air.

Ginaz:
The things they even buy for me its what I used to Cook for them to eat which I eat along too. She said I should forget everything.

The 13yr old daughter I'm even teaching her about her menses flow and circle. Her mother didn't teach her that and she told me she missed her period and she's scared of telling her mom. It was me who calmed her down. Told her it's normal for her age as her body has not regulated yet to be having regular periods.

It was me she ran to tell her period has come as I promised. She was scared of being pregnant. Do I look like one who has been taken advantage of her children? If i was some monster as being painted here would her children come to me on their own?

Well. Life is deep. Please whatever you're doing to help people always look after your own self cos the narrative may change tomorrow that you're the bad one.

Is she sexually active already?
Did you ask her that?

Also, did you ask the mum what her daughter said about not going on errands, just to confirm?

Ginaz:
I still don't want to be closed to her children or her. I'm thoroughly shaken by the turn of events. I need my own space for my mental health.

I heard the father beat the child who refused to come to me. I don't want that.

All this is even making me emotional. I don't know who's lying between the mother or child.

I'm happy to hear I'm the only person in the neighborhood who has taken care of her children and they love coming to my house. At least I take some comfort in knowing the kids were happy. May God bless everyone.
It is well.

The daughter was certainly stupid for opening her big mouth, and caused so much trouble, especially for her mum.
So as old as she is, she does not yet know how to cover for her mum, even if the mum told her that? Tozo girl!
Nowadays, even 8yr olds know how to sensibly cover for their parents.

mariahAngel:


Is she sexually active already?
Did you ask her?

Also, did you ask the mum what her daughter said about not going on errands, just to confirm?

She's a virgin and I'm keeping my eyes on her. The mother is too busy looking for her daily bread to give her the needed attention she needs.

The mother said she told her daughter to come to me but the child wanted to come with her friends which she refused. She wanted her to see me alone but the child was adamant she would come with her friends.

She's pleading I should forget and forgive. But all the words they have said here that I'm taking advantage of them has made me not want to be involved in their lives.

Ginaz:


She's a virgin and I'm keeping my eyes on her. The mother is too busy looking for her daily bread to give her the needed attention she needs.

The mother said she told her daughter to come to me but the child wanted to come with her friends which she refused. She wanted her to see me alone but the child was adamant she would come with her friends.

She's pleading I should forget and forgive. But all the words they have said here that I'm taking advantage of them has made me not want to be involved in their lives.

I get.
Tell her you hold nothing against her, but that you need your space for now.
You'll come around, when you come around.
If not, make everybody dey their lane.

mariahAngel:


The daughter was certainly stupid for opening her big mouth, and caused so much trouble, especially for her mum.
So as old as she is, she does not yet know how to cover for her mum, even if the mum told her that? Tozo girl!
Nowadays, even 8yr olds know how to sensibly cover for their parents.

Maybe it's God who is exposing all these things who knows? Water dropped down my eyes. I'm the only child of my mom so I always like giving my all into anyone I love which doesn't even benefits me in anyway.

Check my post you would see how I even cut off my step sister. I give with all my soul but it always backfires. I'm guessing they're coming to me now cos I do care for them not cos they care about me.

I've cut everyone off. I will do my goodwill to the orphanage homes. I don't want anyone around me no more.

Her children even bring their friends to my house too. If I'm a monster would they be comfortable in my house to bring their friends?
Its OK. It's well. I'm not looking for pity. I'm just wondering why I never get the love I give all my life.

mariahAngel:


I get.
Tell her you hold nothing against her, but that you need your space for now.
You'll come around, when you come around.
If not, make everybody dey their lane.

OK. Thank you so much for the kind words. I really need my space.

Ginaz:


OK. Thank you so much for the kind words. I really need my space.

Don't totally give up on people though, but be careful not to give too much of yourself, to avoid being taken advantage of or being taken for granted.
In spite of everything, know that there are still good people.

Ginaz:
Na wa o. This life one has to use sense o. I'm happy I brought the matter here cos the words people have used to described were shocking.

Her children came to meet me this morning that they wanna help me with chores and I refused. I asked them to go back home.

Few minutes later the mother came to my house requesting why I've been ignoring her calls. I told her I don't want anything to do with her or her children as I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of her kids or sending them errands.

She said I'm the only one since they have moved here who has taken care of her kids. That people send them errands a lot and don't even give the kids food or money for the work they do.

It might just be "cover up" tactics sha! But, no stress yourself ontop them. For what you're providing for them, I know for a fact, many parents won't mind you sending them on small small errands. Unless the person is an ungrateful ingrate, of which there are many.

Excuse my French, Kobojunkie, but Touche!
That's Kkins 1: Kobo 0..
Bear your L to the chivalry, my friend.

Ishilove:

You said 'employed'.

ah, why does it shock you? Doesn't have to be office employment na.. even then, all the handwork mentorship things is still employment, albeit not formal.

[quote} That link... I haven't been on that site in ages. I downloaded ALL the ebooks that interested me and since then I haven't been there [/quote]
Oh, I thought you managed it... is it still accessible to you?

mariahAngel:


Don't totally give up on people though, but be careful not to give too much of yourself, to avoid being taken advantage of or being taken for granted.
In spite of everything, know that there are still good people.

Let me add to this:

As we relate with people, we have to make room for their shortcomings and one of the ways is by reducing exposure. So rather than cut them off totally, you can just reduce your availability. I’m suggesting this because of the kids, the sudden cut off may be too shocking for them.

Hmmmmmm. Not at all.

@Ginaz, you are a real good person and that's so rare to see. But the problem is that Nigerians love taking undue advantage of good people. Whatever you decide next, put yourself first.

And biko, please remember that Nairaland is like a heavily polluted river. Not everyone here is sane or with properly working brains. So, that explains why some saw wrong in what you were doing. Just do your best to filter out the good from the bad here. Thankus.

Wow! Y'all just kept attacking this Ginaz lady for nothing. Context was completely lost on y'all. Everyone just running with their narrative.

Ginaz:


why did she not tell me she doesn't want her kids to run errands for me? And besides , the same kids come to my house everyday , eat my food and all. Have I ever complained the way they come to my house and scatter my things?
do you know the inconvenience i go through when 5 of them come to my house? I cook and make sure they're ok.

what's little errand they can't help me go? and I give them the change left. so who is stressing more between me and the children ?

Madam you still don't understand.. Don't send your friends kids on errand.. It will give you peace of mind. I always thank God for giving me hands and legs.. I do my thing myself.. It has always given me peace

Ombre:
Wow! Y'all just kept attacking this Ginaz lady for nothing. Context was completely lost on y'all. Everyone just running with their narrative.

It's like most can't read or read to understand. Absolutely shocking

Ginaz:
That her kids love coming to me cos I care for them. She gave instances of a woman who would call her 13yr old daughter to grind pepper/ wash clothes and do all sorts of errands but this Lady has not given her children 1kobo.

She said I don't stress her children or leave them hungry. That the whole thing was a misunderstanding.

I just began thanking God from my heart that her mother said all these from her mouth. Life is deep o.
These children I care for them like my own/ gave clothes and food. They're never hungry in my house and I always feel happy when they're eating to satisfaction cos I have a conscience.
You see that it was her children who came on their own this morning to meet me. I didn't call anyone to come to meet me God is my witness

Hello! I only read through the first and the last page of this thread, time will fail me to read through the entire thing.
One thing is certain though, people misjudged you from what I read. It seems most of the people who gave their opinions were just plainly being unemphatic and unreasonable.
You needed to see the way I was put off while reading through those idiotic remarks.
Imaging, you telling us tales of how you would send those kids to get you fish and things you would use to prepare food for them, still make them hold the remaining cash, and people still said you were taking advantage of them.
If this helps at all, you're a good person, regardless of what any unreasonable NLander comes up with.

It reminds me of a woman, now late (RIP) that my mom would let me visit inside the same compound while growing up. She made me tons of great things then. She prepared the most yummy custard and cakes for me then. She treated me to treats that I couldn't have gotten from my own parents.
I beg you to not completely give up on those kids though, kids are known to do the most stupid things cos they don't know any better.

Sending you love and light!

Zoe257:


Hello! I only read through the first and the last page of this thread, time will fail me to read through the entire thing.
One thing is certain though, people misjudged you from what I read. It seems most of the people who gave their opinions were just plainly being unemphatic and unreasonable.
You needed to see the way I was put off while reading through those idiotic remarks.
Imaging, you telling us tales of how you would send those kids to get you fish and things you would use to prepare food for them, still make them hold the remaining cash, and people still said you were taking advantage of them.
If this helps at all, you're a good person, regardless of what any unreasonable NLander comes up with.

It reminds me of a woman, now late (RIP) that my mom would let me visit inside the same compound while growing up. She made me tons of great things then. She prepared the most yummy custard and cakes for me then. She treated me to treats that I couldn't have gotten from my own parents.
I beg you to not completely give up on those kids though, kids are known to do the most stupid things cos they don't know any better.

Sending you love and light!

Awwww thanks so much for the encouragement.😊 I'm still helping to the best of my abilities.

I decided to listened to the few who encouraged me to keeping helping the children,the mother still calls me on phone. I saw her today and she's currently pregnant with her 7th child. may God help her.

she and her hubby must love sex so much . wow . the last child is less than 2yrs old. The children don't eat to school sometimes, and I feel terribly uncomfortable knowing the kids go to school on empty stomach.

I feel I'm the one being taken advantage on if you look at it. the mother called me on phone one day to say she and her children slept on empty stomach, they haven't eaten till that time she called me. I started running up and down looking for ways to assist them.

I don't know what to do anymore. in this hard economy someone is fuvking to stupor and birthing children to the number of 7th. May God in his mercies provide for them.

GabrielYulaw:
@Ginaz, you are a real good person and that's so rare to see. But the problem is that Nigerians love taking undue advantage of good people. Whatever you decide next, put yourself first.

And biko, please remember that Nairaland is like a heavily polluted river. Not everyone here is sane or with properly working brains. So, that explains why some saw wrong in what you were doing. Just do your best to filter out the good from the bad here. Thankus.

Thanks for your encouragement. the mother is now pregnant with her 7th child in this harsh economy condition. may God provide for us all.

I still assist them within my abilities. it's hard to drive away hungry kids from your door. despite that people concluded I was taking them for slaves, they still come to my house till date. but I no longer allow them to stay and play like they used to in the past cos I was traumatized reading those comments that said I was taking them for slaves. once they have eaten, I send them back home. no more watching TV in my house or staying till night. I had to protect my mental health.

You are not wrong oooo.
No one can force u to be friends with anyone.

You sound entitled. I know you mean well but you come across as one who expects some returns for kindness delivered.

I agree with you keeping your distance to avoid further conflicts. Please learn from this experience.

I was enjoying your narration until I read the part where you blocked her, you were very emotionally aware until then. You should have reached out to discuss, so that even if it'd lead to ending the friendship, you'd have been certain that that's exactly what she was trying to communicate indirectly. You didn't try at all. Please unblock her and still reach out, tell her you took the action of seeking to let her be in a bid to empathize with her because you infact thought she wasn't too comfortable with your closeness, and then hear what she'd say.

Before u met her in your neighborhood, who dey go message for you?
If she was financially stable, will u send her kids on such errands??
Werin dem no go do u.. No do another man pikin...
Assist her if you 2want to assist... Don't turn her kids to slaves as a result....
That being said.... U should beg God for forgiveness for trying to take advantage of a struggling woman.....
Your help and assistance comes with conditions which is... In exchange for your assistance... U get to send her kids on errands....
This should not be so... U get hand and leg... Go your errands by yourself....
Help the family if u want to.....
Only God know if no be for night or for inside rain u be Wan send the pikin message

You send her kids errands?
You call her on the phone, tell her to send her child to you so you can send her on errands and you feel justified in doing this because you dash the kids peanuts? God punish poverty sha, because if that your friend was rich you will not dream of such! If you had kids of your own, you will also know that all you wrote here is rubbish! Wicked somebody, block her na, who even needs friends like you sef?

Ginaz:
I felt bad that she would asked her daughter not to come run errand for me. this is someone who I have been very good and supportive to since I moved here. I don't want to talk about all I've done cos it's between me and God.

the phone she's using i gave her as her own phone got spoilt.

If she could tell her child not to come to me, I'm just wondering the rest things she might be saying behind me.

could her child be lying against her mother ?

this world is wicked though. becareful of those you call friends , they may not have the same good intentions for you.

....
You gave her a phone so what?
U assist her, so what?
If they come at a price, then it's no help at all.....
You even saying all these you have done for her goes a long way to show the kind of a person you are......
This is pathetic!!
Na iPhone 18 you give her wen u Wan send her kids errands die for
Go your message yourself.... Employ a maid to run your errands..... Don't help the family again if it comes with conditions...
God wen don dey cater for them before u meet them go still dey cater for them dey go long after you're gone!
U be better user!!!

Ginaz:


it's not everyday o. well, I've heard. Let the mother not send the same children to me to ask me for anything .

Stop playing God!! They were surviving before you came to the neighborhood!!

Ginaz:


which errands am I sending them apart from getting me tomatoes or milk or fish within the street as the distance is just 2minutes away.

they come to my house by themselves and sometimes I'd drive them away before they would leave. I never let them go home hungry , whatever I eat, they eat too.

I don't send them to go to the market for me or use as slaves.

.....
Madam go your market yourself or employ a maid.
Before u met the family... Who dey go those errands for you abi you and the children parents sign agreement say u go dey send her kids on errands in exchange for your assistance

A beg end de relationship jeje no matter how good u are to her she would not see to dat in future.
Relationship no do or die affair...