From DM

I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

Your head no correct.

Isn't that what you women want.

Rubyjade:
From DM

get up and do the work na. If work no dey d man go sidon.
Shior. Looking for accomplice not advice

Rubyjade:
From DM

Lazy wife

While your baby is asleep, you can "back" him/her to be able to assist in the house.

You can't just let your husband take on everything.

Wetin women want sef?

Where are nairaland ladies to come and tell us what women really want? Many women complain about their husbands not helping out with chores but here is a woman complaining that her husband does too much domestic chores. So, which one do we follow

I just dey imagine the man, poor man.


Give the man 10 years with this capacity, I rest my statement

I wish my husband can do 1% of this work. I am always exhausted after the day's chores.

Rubyjade:
So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!
I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.
I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

OP, please tell the woman to get off her fking arse and go get a job, while she leaves the man alone to his routine.

fnep2smooth:
I just dey imagine the man, poor man.

How in the world is tha man a poor man?

You people should leave me please. Or just try and clean up so he can see you as romantic

Perhaps why too much of everything ko'da

When there’s no problem at all, the most little issues becomes a mighty problem

join him doing the chores if possible start waking up earlier than he does, let him know you've resumed your wifely duty.

am sure u know exactly what to do unless you just don't want too.

if he also walks away from mess like you do that means your home will be a dump site.

Rubyjade:
From DM

Stand up and do more to ease the stress on him, he will divert the extra time to making you happier with other methods that could suit you better, it's obvious he loves and is dedicated to his family. I love this testimony actually, except that you are greedy Nd want more....😆

Countersam:


Stand up and do more Nd ease the stress on him, he will divert the extra time to making you happier with other methods that would suit you better, it's obvious he loves and is dedicated to his family. I love this testimony actually, except that you are greedy Nd want more....😆

Lol...I don't know what to say to this.


Modified: She should have a conversation with him and they should reach an agreement. That's literally the only issue here, imo. They both seem like good people who aren't communicating but have the best or intentions for another.

voltron14:
Your head no correct.

This one sounds mentally unbalanced.

Girsl swore they would appreciate if their men participate in house chores and all of that, here we have one complaining he works too much😅🤡

This gender can’t be satisfied, nothing you do as a man can ever satisfy a girl,reason why you shouldn’t Kill your self for any girl

Gadafii:
100 of girl swore they would appreciate if their men participate in house chores and all of that, he we have one complaining he works too much😅🤡

This gender can’t be satisfied, nothing you do as a man can ever satisfy a girl,reason why you shouldn’t Kill your self for any girl

Can yall even stop with this faux-gotcha you think you're having? Ki lo n se gbogbo yin?



So one man, JUST ONE MAN out of thousands that is doing housework to the point of turning his ONE wife off is now the reason why y'all are saying you can never satisfy women?


Meanwhile I can bring you countless of stories of women who appreciated their men putting in equal or greater amount of time into housework.


Infact, I said I didn't know what to comment because this is an EXCEPTION I've never come across before.

Men need no excuse before they're being insensitive lazy bodies to their partners, and guys never needed any justification for not satisfying their wives. The fact is a greater number of women DO appreciate their husbands being hands-on and taking care of household chores.


Instead of you people to focus on the individual case that this is, and to try to address how an 'overindulgence' in housework can lead to a loss of intimacy between couples, you're choosing to call women out. Like being "housework-holic" is no different from being a workaholic, and the former can easily affect relationships just as much as the latter.

If the man do the opposite, una go still complain.

Rubyjade:
From DM

You are such a wonderful creature, I appreciate your sense of reasoning for the ability to envisage what you put up there.. many slay queens dare not go there, they won't even notice it because they are dumb and empty. As a matter of fact you are a wife material and not a slay queen.

I have no doubt you will make a good wife. In conclusion, I would suggest you discuss this with your hubby.

Madam you're saying trash. You're not complaining because you care about him and how he's stressing himself doing the chores but because he no longer has time to cuddle and have fun with you.

Who will cuddle a dirty woman? You wan use dirty kill the man and because he's trying to make his living space clean and habitable for himself you claim he's doing too much. How daft! Some women are very dirty.

Even you know you're dirty because you claim you can overlook a mess in your own living space with a baby around and you want him to also overlook the mess so he can have strength to cuddle you and everywhere will now be oozing like pig house.

Have you ever thought of why he no longer cuddles you? Because no matter how tired a man is sometimes he'll still gather small strength as soon as he sees a clean fresh smelling woman that turns him on but if you can be comfortable with mess around you imagine what your personal hygiene will now be like. I'm sure you'll be like one woman I used to know back then who smells from her hair and armpit down yet she won't allow the man to rest. Always fighting and complaining he's not touching her. You pass near her window the smell that oozes out is nose blinding. Na so she born full house like rat. 7 children. Las las, the man went to rent another room in the same compound just to avoid the pig, she still followed him there and broke the door. I know your type..only make man climb una una Sabi.

Leave the man. No use dirty kill am abeg. Face your baby and nurture him well make oga rest. Some married women especially new Moms need to step up their hygiene game.

Let any pig of a man or woman quote me to say rubbish this Saturday morning. I ready for anybody. I'm not smiling.

Human needs are truly insatiable!

Do you call this a problem to worry about too?

"Bo se n se epo ...bee ko lo se n se ora!"

Kobojunkie:
OP, please tell the woman to get off her fking arse and go get a job, while she leaves the man alone to his routine.

It's obvious you're a feminist


Likes of you will maltreat their husband

Economics 101

Newborn27:
Human needs are truly insatiable!

Do you call this a problem to worry about too?

"Bo se n se epo ...bee ko lo se n se ora!"

Magnoliaa:
Lol...I don't know what to say to this.


Modified: She should have a conversation with him and they should reach an agreement. That's literally the only issue here, imo. They both seem like good people who aren't communicating but have the best or intentions for another.

if the situation was reversed, there would definitely be plenty to say ...



Mtcheew