Ginaz:


sending them message is wrong but they can eat my food, request for things which I provide, scatter my house and spoil my things. little message to buy me fried fish or fresh tomatoes now at front of the street is a crime.

dominique:


The thing is you feel since you assist them from time to time, you have earned the rights to send her children on errands. She feels it's because of the help you render to them is the reason you want to turn her children to your helps. There's nothing wrong with sending kids on errands once a while, we also ran errands for adults as kids but calling your friend to send her child on errand looks somehow. I can't imagine calling anybody to send their child(ren) on errands. It's very belittling tbh

yoniehuin:
They are not your kids, why do you think you are entitled to send someone's kid on errand just because you are friends with the mother or because you feed them

The mother was right, her kids are not your errand children

If you had a kid and people send them on errand as they feel like, will you be happy.

Dont you think if any thing happen to those kids on errands, do you think the mum will be happy with you, she will blame you forever

olatuneji:
It's wrong.
It's not okay, no matter what you have done for them, if it were me, I won't be happy with you.
If it's once in a blue moon it's still OK but constantly sending them on an errand mehn! Me can't take it.

Ginaz:


what will the child gain from lying against her mother ? this friendship is one sided.

abeg I dey my own. I'm even happy the child told me her mother refused her to come to me. she should not send her children to me to make any monetary request. I don't want to hear anything

Ginaz:


but I should run errands for them abi? who eats the food i sent them ingredients to buy? ordinary to buy tomatoes and fish to cook food they will end up eating is now a crime abi??

If they help wash plates they used in eating or sweep house is such a big crime right? on top me that entered kitchen to cook for them. I swear the mother can't do such for my kids the way I treat hers with care.

abeg get out my front ... I don't have your time.

SAMBARRY:
mothers with financial means are a piece of work with plenty drama not to now talk of the ones with financial challenge.madam for your peace of mind,sanity and respect tell her to her face that you don't want any of her kids coming to your place again and you don't want your space messed up.you too keep your distance to avoid disrespect and see finish which has already started.keep your money to yourself and don't give the kids any money again.

I have experienced what you have experienced before and I earned my respect.its better for her to resent you than for it to be a full fledged big drama/war.

Give them space.dont wait till it degenerates to when she will tell you to go and born your own kids.be firm and if any of her child wanders to your place drive them back to their mother.since you cannot send them errands let them dey their day.you are not mother Christmas to just be dolling out money to kids and a mother who's not useful to you.again that your neighbours is a leech.make she go find who she go parasite go front.

I initially wanted to ignore the thread as I have seen people who have answered reasonably but I have seen a lot of stupid, irritating and annoying comments and I'm not surprised they're from single mothers raising entitled children who thinks it's ok to keep collecting and collecting without being of service to others.mshewww.

Meanwhile hunger and Sapa will strike again and she will come and meet you Wii some stupid sob story to enter you,my dear be firm and create boundaries.CLEAR BOUNDARIES.your help has already turned to disrespect.it will soon turn to see finish and she might even accuse you of trying to snatch her husband if you are not careful.

Finally if you are cooking she might be perceiving food and the way to deal with ungrateful and entitled people is

1.give them big distance and keep your food.the feeling that she cannot come and meet you again while perceiving the food you're cooking while she's hungry and broke is enough punishment.

2.keep an unfriendly/not my buisness face whenever you see her.if she greet you,greet her if she no greet you Comot face

3.children are innocent so they may likely come back and beg for food.tell them to go and meet their mother.even if they perceive or see food with you,don't give them a grain because the mother can set you up out of bitterness.she will say you put something inside the kids food that's why they're sick.avoid entitled, ungrateful and poor mothers o.theyre a danger to themselves and others and they will put you in trouble that's before they turn your help to wickedness

maasoap:

But their mother can send them to her house to freeload, right? May be by then, she has become their mother
When did Nigeria become like this that a woman or man with no kids can't send the kids of her friends or neighbours on errands? But can feed them?

Ginaz:


why did she not tell me she doesn't want her kids to run errands for me? And besides , the same kids come to my house everyday , eat my food and all. Have I ever complained the way they come to my house and scatter my things?
do you know the inconvenience i go through when 5 of them come to my house? I cook and make sure they're ok.

what's little errand they can't help me go? and I give them the change left. so who is stressing more between me and the children ?

Ginaz:


Awwww thanks so much for the encouragement.😊 I'm still helping to the best of my abilities.

I decided to listened to the few who encouraged me to keeping helping the children,the mother still calls me on phone. I saw her today and she's currently pregnant with her 7th child. may God help her.

she and her hubby must love sex so much . wow . the last child is less than 2yrs old. The children don't eat to school sometimes, and I feel terribly uncomfortable knowing the kids go to school on empty stomach.

I feel I'm the one being taken advantage on if you look at it. the mother called me on phone one day to say she and her children slept on empty stomach, they haven't eaten till that time she called me. I started running up and down looking for ways to assist them.

I don't know what to do anymore. in this hard economy someone is fuvking to stupor and birthing children to the number of 7th. May God in his mercies provide for them.

Ginaz:


I've kept my distance o. do you know this same daughter i wanted to send message has never eaten fried egg with bread and tea? I personally prepared breakfast for her and we ate together with her own fried eggs. I didnt share it so she would experience how delicious the meal was.

Infact the thing pain me cos God knows all my heart's intention is good. wenti be message wey you come dey provoke for me?

me that enters my kitchen to prepare food for your children to eat, I even give you join. I don't have sense abi ? or I'm a mugu right?

emmabest2000:


End of discussion is to cut them off and kuku born your own kids



You're heartless walayi

escapadechuks:
Op doesn't sound like a very nice person.

Is her child your nanny? Or because of your small small help? Then stop helping and get yourself a personal errand person. Shior

Ginaz:
.

na her children, I am not dragging her children but she shouldn't send them to me again. that's all I'm saying. whenever the children comes to me I'd send them back home. message that they don't move past the street, in change of the money I give them to buy something for themselves so who is losing more ? I'm the one losing more.

Ginaz:


what will the child gain from lying against her mother ? this friendship is one sided.

abeg I dey my own. I'm even happy the child told me her mother refused her to come to me. she should not send her children to me to make any monetary request. I don't want to hear anything

GabrielYulaw:


Good. Face your business make she face hers.

Edit 1: By the way, this is not the first time I am hearing a case like this. Poor people, especially in Nigeria can be extremely arrogant, short sighted and stupid, even at great cost to their well being. I can never understand it.

One of them is currently trending because she went back to her abusive ex, with the ex only coming back when told the woman was getting monthly allowances. The said allowances was coming from a therapist who was helping the woman and her child get back on her feet. So, the therapist stopped giving money monthly when informed that the abusive ex and the aforesaid poor lady were back together, with the poor lady now saying the therapist was just being jealous and intent on breaking her marriage to a jobless and very much unrepentant ex.

Most times when you help poop people, you get nothing but abuses. They will go behind your back to mock and insult you and then form innocent when confronted. I have never understood what they gain from biting the hand that feeds them.

Zoe257:


Having the mind to give birth to 7 children in this day and age is crazy esp for someone who isn't financially buoyant.
I would have suggested you preach the concept of family planning to them but I hope it doesn't get you in their bad books for being truthful. Some people are just so complacent with their situation.
God knows you've done your best but you can assist them with whatever you can so they don't wreck you with their problem.

frog12:
if your story is not fake, just pack away from that area

9icetoo:


Your entitlement mentality is astonishing.

Truly, common sense is not as common as it ought to be.

Unless of course, you are just trolling.

Which makes your post and comments barely okay.

Kobojunkie:
1. I am very much against it is what.

2. If you don't like the kids in your place then why allow them in?

3. You should not do that at all. I think you are being overly sensitive here about this by the way.

Ghoxt:
Sending people's children on errands, what nonsense.

9icetoo:


Your entitlement mentality is astonishing.

Truly, common sense is not as common as it ought to be.

Unless of course, you are just trolling.

Which makes your post and comments barely okay.

Ginaz:


it's not everyday o. well, I've heard. Let the mother not send the same children to me to ask me for anything .

tollyboy5:

Ginaz kobo has giving you the answer you need already.
I will add mine, i usually agree to kobo opinion attimes. You're taking advantage of the woman's condition unknown to you. Let me tell you, people are tagged with wickedness will never see themselves as wicked. They'll feel people don't understand them. You can send children around you on errand but requesting the mother send her child to you so you can send them errand shows you're a self entitled folk.
You only give those children food so you can send them errand not that you are actually showing some form of altruism.
Your friend will not complain if you sent her child errand when they're at your place, but requesting she send her daughter to you so you can send them errand is a big insult to she and her husband.
You're the one that need to apologize. You're a fake person and from what i read your friend is just a low class person who reacted in the right way.

culf:


So the assistance you're rendering is a reward for the errand they run for you?
You should see it as a privilege but no wahala, when one door closes, God opens another unless if they don't look up to God.

Hmmm!

Ginaz:
I moved into a new neighbourhood and i stay alone. Luckily I came across my childhood friend one fateful day on my way to fill up my cooking gas.

we exchanged contact, I found out we live closed to each other. she now has 6kids with her husband, the eldest child being 13yrs old.

As formal friends and now neighbours I tried to assist her with whatever little I could as they're not doing so great in financially.

I noticed whenever I enter her house, she's somewhat uneasy as she would apologized for the messy state of her house, the dirty floor , the roughness of the building which i don't even care to notice as I am not judging her.

I reduced my entrance into her house due to the fact I didnt want her to feel bad about whatever she might be thinking of her house. it was making feel uncomfortable to hear such complains too.

I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter.

I was cooking rice, the kids came. I dished for them and I asked the daughter why she refused to come see me the day I sent for her. she told me it was her mother who told her not to come.

I was shocked ! if her mother didn't want me to send her on a errand she could have told me. I felt like I was disturbing her kids so I blocked her number and stop sending the kids message to run for me.

now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?