Kobojunkie:
1. The first is a miss on your part. You for sit her down, look her in the eye, and tell her pop and plain that you do not mind the mess at all, and so she should stop complaining about it.

2. I take offense with you sending her kids on errands. Sending them with a message to their own mother, maybe, but sending them on your own personal errands, no.

Ginaz:


but if she needs something from me she sends same children to come to me right? I don't want to go into great details what I did for them and plans i intend to do for them. they don't have chairs in their house, they use bench. I have 4 sitter leather chairs , I was thinking of giving her one the same day the daughter told me what her mother said.

There was other things that happened. I had a quarrel with someone it got heated and drew crowds. this my so called friend came and was begging my opponent to be calmed while she totally ignored me. it was when I called her on phone she then pacified me.

I went to see her one day and she told me she went to beg the woman the next morning. I was like what ? did I ask you to do that? while she never visited me to discussed the issue or hear my side of story till date.

I'm feeling weird that she doesn't take me as a friend as I take her to be.

Ginaz:


how many children have you helped in your life to sit down and write rubbish? you can't even withstand 3kids that are not yours in your house for 1day let alone 5kids coming and going from your house daily.

Let them come stay in your house so you can cook for them , be the one to go buy ingredients that you will use to cook for them to eat, allow them to do nothing but stare at you then come out and give me your review.

nonsense! this one is talking about common sense when he doesn't have one in his head.

Ginaz:
I moved into a new neighbourhood and i stay alone. Luckily I came across my childhood friend one fateful day on my way to fill up my cooking gas.

we exchanged contact, I found out we live closed to each other. she now has 6kids with her husband, the eldest child being 13yrs old.

As formal friends and now neighbours I tried to assist her with whatever little I could as they're not doing so great in financially.

I noticed whenever I enter her house, she's somewhat uneasy as she would apologized for the messy state of her house, the dirty floor , the roughness of the building which i don't even care to notice as I am not judging her.

I reduced my entrance into her house due to the fact I didnt want her to feel bad about whatever she might be thinking of her house. it was making feel uncomfortable to hear such complains too.

I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter.

I was cooking rice, the kids came. I dished for them and I asked the daughter why she refused to come see me the day I sent for her. she told me it was her mother who told her not to come.

I was shocked ! if her mother didn't want me to send her on a errand she could have told me. I felt like I was disturbing her kids so I blocked her number and stop sending the kids message to run for me.

now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?

Pclemenza:
■ Prompt and plain not pop and plain

SAMBARRY:
op you see why I said avoid mothers with children.this post is exactly the reason.

They will turn your kindness to wickedness and still blame you or say you're giving them stuffs so you can send them stuffs

Op if I were you this is what I will tell the mother.

Madam if I can't send your kids on errands please don't let me see them around my house and please don't let me meet my home dirty especially when I've cleaned it before, period.then walk out.

tollyboy5:

For you to even be in a street argument might reveal the kind of person you are. So you wanted the said friend to come and fight on your behalf?
It seems you don't even put on a thinking Cap. She did the right thing as your friend to calm the other woman on your behalf and calm you down later. Sorry to say that your friend is way smarter than you are. You're just feeling you're better maybe because you're more financially stable.

Kobojunkie:
Nah! Growing up in the 90s, na "Pop and plain" e be!

Pclemenza:
If na 90’s na pump and play we Dey call am

tollyboy5:

For you to even be in a street argument might reveal the kind of person you are. So you wanted the said friend to come and fight on your behalf?
It seems you don't even put on a thinking Cap. She did the right thing as your friend to calm the other woman on your behalf and calm you down later. Sorry to say that your friend is way smarter than you are. You're just feeling you're better maybe because you're more financially stable.

tollyboy5:

For you to even be in a street argument might reveal the kind of person you are. So you wanted the said friend to come and fight on your behalf?
It seems you don't even put on a thinking Cap. She did the right thing as your friend to calm the other woman on your behalf and calm you down later. Sorry to say that your friend is way smarter than you are. You're just feeling you're better maybe because you're more financially stable.

Ginaz:


I can't o. Where I reside we have constant light and clean water. I can't pack away from such a good environment.

Ginaz:
I felt bad that she would asked her daughter not to come run errand for me. this is someone who I have been very good and supportive to since I moved here. I don't want to talk about all I've done cos it's between me and God.

the phone she's using i gave her as her own phone got spoilt.

If she could tell her child not to come to me, I'm just wondering the rest things she might be saying behind me.

could her child be lying against her mother ?

this world is wicked though. becareful of those you call friends , they may not have the same good intentions for you.

tollyboy5:

You must be a lady to have this high sense of entitlement. No one is saying sending children on errand is bad!
But calling the mother to send her kid to you so you can send them an errand is an insult.

7upnigeria:


Sending her children errands is a no no. You're taking advantage of their situation.

Ginaz:


please be happy they didn't come to help your wife. by now people would have called you heartless and wicked that you're using them as slaves.

I'm sure your wife's eyes have cleared and she no longer associates with them.

dominique:
I just don't like this idea of sending other people's children on errands. Nothing causes friction between friends than one sending the other's child(ren) on errands. That you assist your friend from time to time doesn't mean it's a ticket for you to order her children about. It will start looking like you're looking down on them.

Ginaz:


Don't be stupid. The person I had an argument with said she will poison my cat cos she doesn't like cats. so I should sit and watch while she yells and threaten my pet? I had to stand up for myself and defend my poor innocent cat who is being prejudiced for a being a cat.
The lady was saying i sent my cat to harm her. imagine the nonsense. while we were exchanging words my friend came to pacify the lady while ignoring me.

same lady she has even badmouthed to me to avoid in the neighbourhood o.

you all find it very quick to criticise someone without caring to know how they feel.

Ginaz:


which errands am I sending them apart from getting me tomatoes or milk or fish within the street as the distance is just 2minutes away.

they come to my house by themselves and sometimes I'd drive them away before they would leave. I never let them go home hungry , whatever I eat, they eat too.

I don't send them to go to the market for me or use as slaves.

SAMBARRY:
madam no be everything you go say here.the more you talk,the more your words are misconstrued to make you look like a bad person.

In the first place you don't even have any point to prove to anybody.God sees your heart and motives and he is a rewarder.he rewards everyone accordingly for their deeds on Earth

Ginaz:
SAMBARRY thanks for your kind words. I've given them space o but funny enough they don't want to give me space. I don't know how to drive the kids away from me.

SAMBARRY:
lmaooo insult?

But it's not an insult to play and mess the whole surroundings, spoil things in the house (that the mother cannot afford to return) or collect free food courtesy of the mom who uses tactics of telling them to go and play with the neighbour so that their lunch and dinner can be sorted out.yoruba will say who no know how to put meat for mouth and look for it.smh.tomorrow now Na your type go dey open thread to wail about how ladies are getting too entitled to men's money and bringing nothing to the table but you're encouraging someone to leech on another person

Again my gender is irrelevant to the issue at hand.whether I'm a man or woman,it doesn't matter,I hate entitlement and ingratitude.even God expects us to give our time and energy serving him as he gives to us.

7upnigeria:


Madam, the little change you have is getting into your head. They were not eating before you moved into their street abi. Haven't you heard? 'Who go help you no go stress you'. Nobody truly wants their kids becoming househelps, its financial situations that makes people consider such options. If you want to help them, please help. Stop looking for cheap labour.

Ginaz:


Yes o. but I needed to put some point straight or they run with false narrative. imagine him judging my personality based on a street argument that he knows nothing about what led to it. can you imagine?

tollyboy5:

Both of them to go their separate way if what you just typed is the true issue on ground. But what the op did still remain an insult to the other woman family.
You just want to justify the insult because the other lady is leeching.
If i were in the op shoe i will render limited assistance. I have this believe that once a person give birth to children beyond 4 then they're more than capable to face the music.
This is the reason i run away from first born female, its only me and my elder sis so why would i marry a lady with 5 younger once and poor parent? The op should have use her head in the beginning but she's enjoy feeling like boss to her childhood friend.

Ginaz:


how many children that are not related to you have you helped or fed in your life?

come and carry 5 children in your house, cook for them. then go out to buy ingredients that you will use in cooking their meals. wash the plates after they are done eating, sweep and arrange the house they disorganized. don't let them touch or do anything then come and give a review after months.

hypocrite 🚫

Ginaz:


what has she done for me that has benefited me in this friendship ? nothing! so who has been more caring to he other ? right from secondary school I've been the caring one. no be today

7upnigeria:


Madam, the little change you have is getting into your head. They were not eating before you moved into their street abi. Haven't you heard? 'Who go help you no go stress you'. Nobody truly wants their kids becoming househelps, its financial situations that makes people consider such options. If you want to help them, please help. Stop looking for cheap labour.

ferhyntorlah:


You knew all these and still reconnected with her? If I were you, I wouldn't at all.

That's a parasitic relationship, and not a symbiotic one.

Most relationships these days are parasitic in nature. So, I'm not surprised.

Obinzubechi:
My dear I don't think you dropped this write up here for people's opinion because all what they're saying seems not to be sounding write to you, if you feel you know it all you shouldn't have come here asking in the first place.....you can't be too sure your friend actually told the daughter not to come, confront her and hear what she will say, and feeling entitled that the children must always do what you ask of them is too bad, for me that is know more help, because you are expecting something in return.