Prettygirl200:
According to him I don't support his dreams, I don't encourage him, that my love for him was conditional, over time he keeps telling me that all the ladies that have come into his life has this tendency of supporting him and all of that, and I happen not to fall in that category, so because of that he keeps comparing and making reference's all the time it's always brings issues between us every now and then.

Some months ago he was facing serious financial problems, and all I was able to do the little I could even though it was chicken change but again he met a lady who did more than I did and the comparison started again, it again brought fights and arguments, off recent he has met a lady who according to him supported him greatly which he told him he has been able to bounce back and things are getting better, after some days he told me thesame lady confessed that she was in-love with me it was after that confession he then told me that he has seen and known how a woman can love unconditionally, that the lady never asked him of anything , that she supported his dreams and is encouraging something I couldn't do. Before then he told me about some things I was doing which he didn't like, I tried to adjust to suit in the woman he wanted me to be character wise that was when he told me I was acting up and pretending to love him because of what I stand to gain from him.

I just got fed up of the whole thing and told him that if the lady is the kind of woman he wants in his life he should be with her, he has always talked about a supportive woman and since I couldn't or didn't fall in that category I decided to let him go in other for me to have peace of mind. So I blocked him everywhere just so it will be easy for me to forget about him and everything, I don't know if I did the right thing?.

Sister move on...No near Snipper ooo...Den i thinnk most Nigeria ladies, especially dose who are home trained do not have the capacity to support u as a man or help u build ur career...As a man focus on ursef and accpt her good parts..i was here n i just focused on mysef and career devlopmnt....Chioma has no idea to gv Davido..even her food sef she no see anytin do except d praises frm Davido....just marry Nigeria lady fr marrying sake not for support or life changing

You took the right decision to terminate this relationship.

It is unfortunate that men are looking for women who would help build their dreams, they forget that a woman also has dreams. Both parties are supposed to contribute to the realisation of each others dreams.

I really don't see how this relationship would have worked if you forced yourself to marry him.

You will find a man who will see the good in you and will support your pursuit of fulfilment while you do the same for him.

You don't have to loose yourself in marriage neither should you allow any man treat you like a disposable appendage.

Build a life that commands respect by adding value to yourself every day.

It is well with you

DestinedForGrea:

Dude you are being unnecessarily judgemental here.

Nothing about her post expresses a cynical intention towards the man. She's just doing what any grieving person who has just been hurt, would do.

You don't know the lady, yet you type like you are aware of the entire situation. Why are you attacking her like that? You seem to be pouring out a frustration gotten from your experience of a failed relationship, hence the sentimental comments from you.

If you can't empathize with the lady and try to analyze the situation without sentiments, then it's best you just keep silent. You don't need to aggravate a problem if you can't solve it.

Bro I sense she's not telling the full story and she just wants people to see the man as a bad person, which is what you are doing. I can't empathize with her because I know she's not telling the truth. If she's honest, she should fix her relationship because no relationship is perfect. That place she is or will go might be worse. Everyone carjoling her otherwise won't be there with her when the next relationship becomes worse

Please can we chat privately if you don't mind

Prettygirl200:
I am a liability i agree, i have left him to enjoy the girl who has value, i am valueless bc i cant give more than i have. I pray God heals my wounds. Allow people to encourage nd advice me, it's the reason I dropped it here you can move out of here if you are tired. Thank you.

I should allow people to encourage you in your fake story and toxic attitude? Am sorry I've been following you for a long time and I know how bad you are. You can't tell me the man hasn't taken bullshits from you. Just move on or try to repair your relationship and not allow a strange girl take your man. No relationship perfect o. Life na tolerance and acceptance be am

Anny69:
I’m so senseless. I’m a foolish woman.

Okay then

lordnkem000:
You know I will not join people to pamper you with words. Tell everyone what are the issues he told you he didn't like. You are manipulative and you are already manipulating people here with your one sided story. You must have been terrible b[b]efore and then decided to change and he didn't believe that[/b], you should have assured him you were not pretending. That's what I'm saying. Calling your man here and making him look bad is not good at all, because life goes bigger than here

He didn't believe it? He refuses to believe it because a woman is feeding and giving him money, he refused to believe because he has this tendency of using words against me, he refusesd to believe because even after telling me my flaws and I decided to change and adjust he saw it as pretending because I wasn't giving him money, if I was he would have seen me as a woman of value and not compare me with other women who give me. I am just starting my life I haven't build anything yet to give a man I did give him from the little I had I aren't double dating or doing prostitution to give him the little I had, but it wasn't appreciated because I never gave him big, he gives me attitude because of that. Everyday quarrels and arguments I am tired. Am too young to go through all of that mental stress. So pls if you know him tell him to go be with his woman of value, I am valueless may God give me a man who will wouldn't see me as liability or call me valueless like u stated.

lordnkem000:

Bro I sense she's not telling the full story and she just wants people to see the man as a bad person, which is what you are doing. I can't empathize with her because I know she's not telling the truth. If she's honest, she should fix her relationship because no relationship is perfect. That place she is or will go might be worse. Everyone carjoling her otherwise won't be there with her when the next relationship becomes worse

I am not fixing anything Mr man, I am tired of it, i know the constant battle i had to fight for months, arguments, quarrrls, toments from him i am tired am not going to die or loose myself just to impress him i have done enough. Everyday comparison, everyday complains I am this I am that when I make efforts to change or do better he says am pretending because I want to gain from him. Am tired I didn't bring it here for anyone to pamper me I brought it here for encouragement that's what they are doing.

You too, why were u not supporting him? No mind the Boy jare.. let him go and support himself. Which party him dey wey him dey find support upandan?

Prettygirl200:
According to him I don't support his dreams, I don't encourage him, that my love for him was conditional, over time he keeps telling me that all the ladies that have come into his life has this tendency of supporting him and all of that, and I happen not to fall in that category, so because of that he keeps comparing and making reference's all the time it's always brings issues between us every now and then.

Some months ago he was facing serious financial problems, and all I was able to do the little I could even though it was chicken change but again he met a lady who did more than I did and the comparison started again, it again brought fights and arguments, off recent he has met a lady who according to him supported him greatly which he told him he has been able to bounce back and things are getting better, after some days he told me thesame lady confessed that she was in-love with me it was after that confession he then told me that he has seen and known how a woman can love unconditionally, that the lady never asked him of anything , that she supported his dreams and is encouraging something I couldn't do. Before then he told me about some things I was doing which he didn't like, I tried to adjust to suit in the woman he wanted me to be character wise that was when he told me I was acting up and pretending to love him because of what I stand to gain from him.

I just got fed up of the whole thing and told him that if the lady is the kind of woman he wants in his life he should be with her, he has always talked about a supportive woman and since I couldn't or didn't fall in that category I decided to let him go in other for me to have peace of mind. So I blocked him everywhere just so it will be easy for me to forget about him and everything, I don't know if I did the right thing?.

Johnycastro18:
"According to him I don't support his dreams, I don't encourage him, that my love for him was conditional...."

No man would want to continually date a liability....

If the above statement from him is true,
Then you self, you no try

na the boyfriend only get dream wey need support. Can't you see he is using her for the financial gain. Dream Co support ni

Prettygirl200:
He didn't believe it? He refuses to believe it because a woman is feeding and giving him money, he refused to believe because he has this tendency of using words against me, he refusesd to believe because even after telling me my flaws and I decided to change and adjust he saw it as pretending because I wasn't giving him money, if I was he would have seen me as a woman of value and not compare me with other women who give me. I am just starting my life I haven't build anything yet to give a man I did give him from the little I had I aren't double dating or doing prostitution to give him the little I had, but it wasn't appreciated because I never gave him big, he gives me attitude because of that. Everyday quarrels and arguments I am tired. Am too young to go through all of that mental stress. So pls if you know him tell him to go be with his woman of value, I am valueless may God give me a man who will wouldn't see me as liability or call me valueless like u stated.

Now let's agree you are right, just look at how you paint your man in public eye, is that nice? Telling strangers because you didn't give him money, because the other woman feeds him and give him money, just look at it yourself, is that right? This people you are seeking advice from have their own relationship problems, even worse than yours but haven't come to wash their spouse here like you did. I know you are hurting and not yourself but try to understand that you will regret spoiling your man this way here in this forum because they will mock you one day for it. It happened to me too. I believe comparing you is a big flaw of his and you could help him change and be better, just like he also will try to help you with your flaws. That woman is the problem so why not try to tell your man your worries and fix things. Even your next man might be worse so try to stop spilling more. You love him and it's evident so tell him why you left and fix things if you are certain he loves you

Prettygirl200:
I am not fixing anything Mr man, I am tired of it, i know the constant battle i had to fight for months, arguments, quarrrls, toments from him i am tired am not going to die or loose myself just to impress him i have done enough. Everyday comparison, everyday complains I am this I am that when I make efforts to change or do better he says am pretending because I want to gain from him. Am tired I didn't bring it here for anyone to pamper me I brought it here for encouragement that's what they are doing.

Oya them don encourage you so let us be abeg. We have many issues in Nigeria to be worried about man and woman matter. You have gone so be it. Allow the man stay with woman wey give am peace since you no dey again. You don tell us say you be saint for the relationship so allow the sinner man breathe

Anny69:
Who are you?

your Ex

lordnkem000:

Now let's agree you are right, just look at how you paint your man in public eye, is that nice? Telling strangers because you didn't give him money, because the other woman feeds him and give him money, just look at it yourself, is that right? This people you are seeking advice from have their own relationship problems, even worse than yours but haven't come to wash their spouse here like you did. I know you are hurting and not yourself but try to understand that you will regret spoiling your man this way here in this forum because they will mock you one day for it. It happened to me too. I believe comparing you is a big flaw of his and you could help him change and be better, just like he also will try to help you with your flaws. That woman is the problem so why not try to tell your man your worries and fix things. Even your next man might be worse so try to stop spilling more. You love him and it's evident so tell him why you left and fix things if you are certain he loves you

yeah i had my flaws and i promised to change which i actually kept to my promise but he blew up everything the moment he told me i was pretending, its like my heart was pireced with something. It shows that there's nothing I will do that will impress him yeah I am deeply hurt that was why I brought it here. I need encouragement and will power to move on.

DestinedForGrea:

Firstly, I don't judge people based on hearsay. I don't even like to judge people at all. So saying that I see the man as a 'bad person' is an overstatement from you.

You can't just 'sense' that she's not being honest if you didn't have a firsthand experience of the relationship. You've probably experienced a similar situation, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's completely the same story playing out here. You don't judge matters that way.

The lady feels guilty for walking away from a relationship in which she constantly endured emotionally abuse. She decided to seek the public's opinion after blocking off all contact with the person. How does that suggest a foul play from her?

I'm not being sentimental or defensive without cause, I'm just not ruling out the possibility of the genuineness of her narrative. It happens, and being a victim in such situations hurts a lot. My last relationship was filled with a bit of passive comparison, and I know how it felt. I didn't make a fuss out of it because I had the bigger flaws which made the relationship become extinct.

You can't understand how she feels, that's why you can say whatever you want. Even if you have your own perception, you can give her a benefit of the doubt and give consolations. It's not that difficult.

Bro you are accusing me of same thing you are doing, using your past experiences to encourage her BS. Do you know if just like you, she has the bigger flaws but refused to admit it? I'm not picking sides bro and I hear you. I'm just saying if she's gone then let her go and let us breathe, if she wants the relationship then let her fix things with her man and drive away the stranger girl. But coming online to destroy her man to strangers is really not cool and doesn't speak well of her character bro. I would say the same if it was a man doing this too

Hmmm...well a failed relationship is better than a disastrous marriage!
Obviously there was no compatibility!
Try to move on....
Engage yourself in a valuable and productive skill..
Reevaluate yourself in your now former relationship by pointing out your flaws and positives!(be honest in your evaluation)

Make improves where necessary!

Take responsibility of your life and strive to become the best version of yourself!

Don't rush into any relationship but take your time to know the person better

Place a high value on yourself 1st. Other things will fall in line.
It works

Prettygirl200:
According to him I don't support his dreams, I don't encourage him, that my love for him was conditional, over time he keeps telling me that all the ladies that have come into his life has this tendency of supporting him and all of that, and I happen not to fall in that category, so because of that he keeps comparing and making reference's all the time it's always brings issues between us every now and then.

Some months ago he was facing serious financial problems, and all I was able to do the little I could even though it was chicken change but again he met a lady who did more than I did and the comparison started again, it again brought fights and arguments, off recent he has met a lady who according to him supported him greatly which he told him he has been able to bounce back and things are getting better, after some days he told me thesame lady confessed that she was in-love with me it was after that confession he then told me that he has seen and known how a woman can love unconditionally, that the lady never asked him of anything , that she supported his dreams and is encouraging something I couldn't do. Before then he told me about some things I was doing which he didn't like, I tried to adjust to suit in the woman he wanted me to be character wise that was when he told me I was acting up and pretending to love him because of what I stand to gain from him.

I just got fed up of the whole thing and told him that if the lady is the kind of woman he wants in his life he should be with her, he has always talked about a supportive woman and since I couldn't or didn't fall in that category I decided to let him go in other for me to have peace of mind. So I blocked him everywhere just so it will be easy for me to forget about him and everything, I don't know if I did the right thing?.

Prettygirl200:
Am a human am aren't perfect, I can't be everything a man wants in a woman, I have my good and bad sides, I can't change but can adjust because I love and care for that person, tried to adjust to suit him that was when he told me I was pretending and acting up to love him which wasn't true. I was trying to adjust because I cared about him too even though am not as rich as those ladies supporting him financially.

From your write up, your replies to stupd men on this forum,I can see you are very soft and dumb. How can you allow a lazy idiot to tell you you can't support him? Relationship is mutual benefit,how is he exactly benefiting you? He's an entitled fool, and I'm glad you left the idiot. Never allow a man to treat you like that. You are a queen, a rare gem, the only you on planet Earth, you are valuable. Never allow people or anyone to treat you like that. I will advise you build your self esteem

Prettygirl200:
yeah i had my flaws and i promised to change which i actually kept to my promise but he blew up everything the moment he told me i was pretending, its like my heart was pireced with something. It shows that there's nothing I will do that will impress him yeah I am deeply hurt that was why I brought it here. I need encouragement and will power to move on.

I have given you an advice. You don't need encouraging words, what you need is advice you don't want to hear. If that man loves you, go and fix your relationship, make your man know he hurt you and his reaction will tell you if you should go or stay. Those you are looking to encourage you will tell you what you want to hear. No relationship is perfect, and there will always be a woman coming after your man like it or not. It's what do to keep your man when that time comes that matters. Same for we men. You still love him and that's because you know he loves you too, so why dwell on the negatives

bentenny:
Hmmm...well a failed relationship is better than a disastrous marriage!
Obviously there was no compatibility!
Try to move on....
Engage yourself in a valuable and productive skill..
Reevaluate yourself in your now former relationship by pointing out your flaws and positives!(be honest in your evaluation)

Make improves where necessary!

Take responsibility of your life and strive to become the best version of yourself!

Don't rush into any relationship but take your time to know the person better

I will do just that, thank you.

Autonomous01:
Y is everyone not talking about d unnecessary comparisons? Not once not twice, Y did he left his “Supportive ex girlfriends”? After all they did for him….I personally can’t be with someone who compares me with others, if u want me to adjust, tell me and I will but not comparisons…Also bro is a jigolo, why is it dat it is only financial support he’s always getting from his so called supportive gals?? He’s a jigolo, there’s no two way about it. What are u getting from him other than financial gains? Does he have any impact in ur life aside dat?? So wat’s d fuss all about?? He clearly saw a better opportunity and tuned in, trust me if he sees a new catch dat’s more richer dan the current lady, he’ll still leave dis one for d new one…His needs are insatiable….
My advice, be a better version of urself, u’ll meet a better person soon, just be good
NB; I’m not a feminist and I’ll never be…But Let’s call a spade a spade

Because they are fools. Are you new to nairaland? Even if you say your boyfriend beats you when sleeping with no offense with pictures and video evidence, nairaland men will say you are the cause and you should be ashamed of yourself. Most of them are frustrated boys,broke and have no life

sheeda995:

From your write up, your replies to stupd men on this forum,I can see you are very soft and dumb. How can you allow a lazy idiot to tell you you can't support him? Relationship is mutual benefit,how is he exactly benefiting you? He's an entitled fool, and I'm glad you left the idiot. Never allow a man to treat you like that. You are a queen, a rare gem, the only you on planet Earth, you are valuable. Never allow people or anyone to treat you like that. I will advise you build your self esteem

See them, keyboard feminists but for real life them dey mumu for men anyhow. I pity who takes advice from you.. hope you see that 38ys feminist like you wey dey blame una? Ozworr

sheeda995:

Because they are fools. Are you new to nairaland? Even if you say your boyfriend beats you when sleeping with no offense with pictures and video evidence, nairaland men will say you are the cause and you should be ashamed of yourself. Most of them are frustrated boys,broke and have no life

Only a broke girl can identify a broke boy. Omo see them plenty here o

Prettygirl200:
It will be easy for her to take him because she gives what she wants, what do i have, am just starting life i haven't built anything that i can suppport a man with, i did my best but it wasn't enough to him hence the comparison every now and then with different women. He already told me that the lady loves him unconditionally while my love for him was conditional he kept re affirming it whenever I ask again, for such a man there's nothing I will do that will impress him he saw who was able to give him unconditional love and all i can do is to wish them well, I couldn't have done less. I want him to be happy,and I believe he is now.

I don't think you did anything bad especially if you like below 24. Expecting so much from you is not ideal.

But if you are 27 above, and within a marriageable age, I will also be concerned if you can't pick up some bills. I have been with a least two of such above 27 who can never say I shd wear my clothe that they want to buy me a bottle of Heineken upon say dem be working class. iPhone say I don carry dem tour the almost all d city. I no come this life come slave for person daughter.

The reality of Nigeria of today is that lots of guys can no longer carry the entire weight of a woman. I understand every girl prays for the soft life, but that is mostly a vanishing dream.

But contributions is not only financial tho, however, I believe you made the right decision based on your situation.

I love this gal understanding

lordnkem000:

I should allow people to encourage you in your fake story and toxic attitude? Am sorry I've been following you for a long time and I know how bad you are. You can't tell me the man hasn't taken bullshits from you. Just move on or try to repair your relationship and not allow a strange girl take your man. No relationship perfect o. Life na tolerance and acceptance be am

You are madddd. Leave the sweet girl alone. She didn't make you and your generation broke and frustrated, you don't know her and you will never know a precious person like her. It's not a must for you to comment,go to hellll with your frustration and toxicity

DestinedForGrea:

There is no reason for me to doubt her. How you think she's not being honest is beyond me.

Like I said initially and as she has reiterated, she's doing what a grieving person would naturally do -- seeking encouragement. It's obvious she still loves the guy, and is finding it difficult to really move on, even after cutting ties with him.

Bro, you've probably never been hurt before. That's why it's so difficult for you to empathize with her.

See? No reason to doubt her abi? I can't wait for the day I'll see you post something about the opposite of today. The man is bad, well I concur too if you say so

Authur729:
Please can we chat privately if you don't mind

Sigh!!!!!

See this one...

Congratulations