Sorry all I can say is that to everyone dishing advises left right and center.. It's actually not easy to bee in her shoes, it's easy to say things than actually been in the person shoe and feeling it.. But it's good she came out and express herself Maybe she might find the right path from on or two opinion here.

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Pray

Fountainofyouth:
Before you got married, there are things you did that made you happy right? Career, hobbies, hangouts etc right? Redirect your happiness and fulfillment on that, because marriage is not a bed of roses, it will humble you and shake your resolve, that's why I tell people not to seek happiness from another human, happiness can only come from within one's self, that alone can cancel any feeling of loneliness, all the best.

If happiness comes from within, God would have created us to be like the cheetah and other animals that come together only for intercourse then move apart. It's really very difficult to live alone as humans. The main thing is choose your company and filter out any negativity or negative people.

richie240:
Courtship is by far different from marriage.
During the former, you both pretend by putting ur best foot forward, but after d wedding, u let ur guards down.

Sorry, I wish I could tell u any other thing other than "it's ur cross, bear it".

#4 better for worse.


Funny enuff,many see this flaw but if whyne themselves that ''i can change him/her after d wedding''.

Only God can safe. You're right, the red flags are always there.

Greatmind653:
Yes

This too shall pass. Just be a little more patient to make all your efforts bear your expected results. The other option is to separate but that's not going to solve your problem. Check my signature for free stuffs!

Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

You refused to tell us the particular lifestyle/addiction that's the root cause of the problem. We don't want half information. You either tell us or you bottle up and leave us alone

This is one of the reasons why before marriage one should work on COMPATIBILITY AND WILLINGNESS TO COMMITTMENT over (the feelings of) LOVE...
The over-charge of love will never last forever 24/7 it will surely calm down. So when it comes down be prepared by relevant knowledge with a partner that is also willing to be informed in the right things before marriage.
Together pursue the necessary knowledge of marriage and intimacy so you'll not be surprised by the reality of marriage. It's a good reason why also having elders or mentors you can boldly submit to too also helps to aid accountability in marriage.
However,what has happened has happened. So, to best manage the marriage, both partners must be willing to submit and compromise in prayers, taking responsibility and agreeing to honest advice. Find ways to rekindle the love.

Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

.don't overthink it
You are still two different persons so you will have different interest
Removal of your affection of your partner is a decision you made irrespective of his lifestyle.even if he made his lifestyle perfect if you want to delove him you will find reasons to.
Same phenomenon with intercourse in marriage but it is a little bit more complicated.
So it boils down to the foundation on which you both got married on

flokii:
It's either the guy drinks, is into betting or a chronic womanizer that follows anything in skirts.. sadly such people hardly change.
@OP You go carry your cross like that.

These suggestions aren't yours to make... She's the one who should tell us

fx45:
You refused to tell us the particular lifestyle/addiction that's the root cause of the problem. We don't want half information. You either tell us or you bottle up and leave us alone

It des not need to be mentioned
Two people are two people
One may be outgoing the other maybe home loving
One may be sexually conscious and the other may be sensually conscious

Also try and distinguish between loneliness and marital disconnection
They are not the same o

baralatie:

It des not need to be mentioned
Two people are two people
One may be outgoing the other maybe home loving
One may be sexually conscious and the other may be sensually conscious

We cannot give advice with incomplete information. It will likely lead to wrong diagnosis

Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

What is his addiction ? He needs your freaking help ! Do you even know what an addiction is ? He cannot help himself . If you love that man stop complaining ( I don’t want to say nagging) and help him find assistance to break his addiction ! That is one of the reasons you are his wife . Do not divorce that man ! Unless of course his addiction is cheating . That’s the only grounds for divorce in the Bible .

fx45:
We cannot give advice with incomplete information. It will likely lead to wrong diagnosis

What would you advice someone who is experiencing loneliness

I understand bc I know someone who have been with a narcissist for good 20years of marriage no peace she keep hoping everything will be fine for sometimes now she's on her own no care, intimacy or peace not to talk of s*x she's free and happy now how can you be intimate with your abuser?! It is very difficult I understand that very well. You have to take of your mental health and well being! Bc if you die that husband /wife will not even mourn you up to 6 months before bring in his sidechick as wife. Please focus on yourself first make it as if you're selfish and concrete on yourself first!

Nicepoker:
When you were grinning from ear to ear on your pre wedding pictures. Didn't you think of this?

You're mean...

Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

I suffer the same fate, we only have intimacy when she decides.

Abemy:

I suffer the same fate, we only have intimacy when she decides.

That is not loneliness nah.
That is compatibility issues

Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

I understand there are root causes for these things. The best part here is that you know the root cause. Unfortunately, there is no escape mechanism for managing loneliness, particularly in marriage. Diverting attention to the kids, picking up a hobby or focusing on something you love won’t magically override the loneliness you feel. You have to talk to hubby, make him understand how you feel and why you feel the way you do. Remember, it’s an addiction involved here and it can be difficult to break off from.

In addition, you should include how you have been impacted by his addiction, where you are with it and your fears/concerns about worst case scenarios if he continues on this path. And since it’s an addiction, you should show concerns about how can help. Ideally, this isn’t up to you to do but since Nigerians aren’t big on therapy, you or those closest to him might be his therapists. Addictions don’t get shaken off easily, so it’s important to show you want to help him which in turn would help you get rid of the loneliness. It’s a win-win for both if it works.

If these suggestions fail, you might have to take the issue to people he respects or fears the most. The idea isn’t to make him look bad but rather, an attempt at saving your marriage. Often times, this is the last resort and it helps a lot.

If you feel you don’t want to go this route, then you might just sit it out entirely, watch him continue while you get tired and think of how to get yourself out of the marriage totally.

baralatie:

What would you advice someone who is experiencing loneliness

We need to know the root cause of the loneliness first. She mentioned a supposed addiction that is the root cause but refused to name it.

We won't take it!

Check this hillarous Wedding ceremony:




https://www.nairaland.com/7944890/hilarious-wedding-priest-forgot-kiss#127547946

Fountainofyouth:
Before you got married, there are things you did that made you happy right? Career, hobbies, hangouts etc right? Redirect your happiness and fulfillment on that, because marriage is not a bed of roses, it will humble you and shake your resolve, that's why I tell people not to seek happiness from another human, happiness can only come from within one's self, that alone can cancel any feeling of loneliness, all the best.

I doubt this.

No amount of money for instance will make you happy if you don't have close friends, family or confidants to spend such monies or happy moments with.

You need good people in your life to be truly happy, reason many people rush into marriage to create such bonds, unfortunately some find they are attached to the wrong persons and experience nightmares instead of true joy.

If happiness comes from within, God himself wouldn't not have created Eve after realizing Adam was alone and lonely.

Kobojunkie:
You will be shocked to know that you are among the majority when it comes to marriage. Loneliness in marriage is quite common and most try their best to cover for it not realizing that one can't easily put a lid on such things.

When a cause is known, facing it head on as a couple --- provided you both recognize and agree it is an issue that needs dealing with--- is usually were you start, and marriage counseling works well for such situations. When both parties are not one --- disagreement on the cause and maybe the course of action--- then the solution might be divorce citing irreconcilable differences. Alternatively, the partner negatively impacted --- the lonely individual in the marriage ---, while choosing to remain in the marriage, at least focus more of the angst and attention on developing self --- paying tremendous focus to mental health of course-- and maybe even aspects of the relationship that are still worth considering.

As i see the topic i know sey big mummy go dey present.
I see you're talking from experience. Talk to me dear, i'm here for you.

LooneyLester:
Go out and flex


Hop on many deeks , taste them all , satisfy yourself to the maxim


You could be lucky and get forked on a yacht



Don't come and kill yourself with stress

Na so ya mama do ya papa abi?
Is this what you and your sisters are presently doing?
You will advise your daughters to do this as well, right?

Kobojunkie:
Before you got married, you had dreams and things you wished to accomplish in life. You were not born with a dick stuck inside your vagina from your mother's womb, so you came into this world with a complete brain capable of dreams and desires. Now, is a good time to reconsider those dreams and desires and begin working again, towards accomplishing them. It may have been so long but surely it cannot be too late for all of them.

You are right ! I think in a healthy marriage people should never stop pursuing their dreams except when it might affect the kids . If a man is a deliberate stumbling block to the wife’s dreams , then you are right with your post .

However I don’t think that is the case here . The man has an addiction . It is the place of the spouse to help him out of it . Not through complaints or nagging but deliberate effort to help him overcome it . Eg if a woman has a food addiction and is fat , a reasonable husband will not ignore her and pursue his dreams . He will try to get her into the gym with encouragement. If she keeps failing , it SHOULD not stop him from caring about her to help her break the addiction . THAT is what marriage is about !

Just relax ya mind u got no probs

That means you are lonely at top.
Comrade! Down here too it gets lonely for bachelors sometime when you are not loaded enough.

fx45:
We need to know the root cause of the loneliness first. She mentioned a supposed addiction that is the root cause but refused to name it.

We won't take it!

For you to know the root cause of her being lonely is basically impossible.
It is a state of mind someone walks into because the person mentally chose to.
Loneliness is a sister to depression and if you have met depressed people(issues goes way back in time)
It is for her to chose not to be depressed or to be in a state of loneliness

Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

What did you said his addiction is? Please break it down. And how it affects you.

Bukola, maybe you should get a job and quit yapping about! Other people have real problems in their marriages but you have a husband that takes care of your needs and provides yet you have refused to work when the opportunity provided itself so you can ease the financial stress on your husband, if you’re tired of the marriage then go back to Nigeria to your father’s house since you’ve been saying that you wanted a divorce.

Get a fucking job and make life easier for your spouse! Simples!

PS: Kindly elaborate on what my addiction is ‘cos that is the part I don’t understand!

Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

pray to God for you to get the love and attention of your man, oh dear, attention is very expensive when it comes to marriage, A man who is very focus in lif;e; think about it sister, the country has no head now, he will be thinking of meeting the family need, so dear, pray for God to balance everything......take care of yourself

Most marriages are like… that’s probably my biggest fear in marriage… reasons you should only get married to your friend.

i dedicate LONELY AT THE TOP BY Asake.

Hmmm nice jam

TimT:

If there are kids, then develop care, attention and time to them..
If there are no kids then divorce and leave the marriage...
For a loveless marriage can lead you depression...
Marriage is not bondage....
There are a million people out there that can give/make your life a sense of direction and give you joy... Don't die slowly in a loveless marriage

Divorce advice or talk no dey hard people nowadays, SMH. We've lost our values truly. What gives you that assurance that you'd be loved in the next relationship?

Do you know what the guy could be going through? Many men today are enmeshed in debts and they dont know how to get out of it. Instead of thinking they take to addiction,
though this won't solve the problem. In such a situation, sexx would never appeal to him. A depressed soul would never develop any urge.

Marriage counselling would solve the problem...prayers work better