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Married But Lonely - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Married, But Living As Single / I'm Getting Married But I'm Not Happy / Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Married But Lonely by Lanre1st(m): 4:40pm On Dec 18, 2023
It’s lonely at the top also.

There is a topic in a marriage book I read that say; “Have Your Own Life”
Soulmate doesn’t mean a jist pal, try to learn way to happy individually. Though work on what attracts you together in the first place, work on how to build life together but may not be like Romeo and Juliet. Marriage is more like partnership not always like-minds. Each partner to know their responsibility and work together to deliver it
Re: Married But Lonely by IAmHim1: 4:46pm On Dec 18, 2023
you can end your addiction here like i did mine too


https://www.nairaland.com/7939213/one-guide-end-addiction
Re: Married But Lonely by Kobojunkie: 4:49pm On Dec 18, 2023
blaise26abj:
■ However I don’t think that is the case here . The man has an addiction . It is the place of the spouse to help him out of it . Not through complaints or nagging but deliberate effort to help him overcome it . Eg if a woman has a food addiction and is fat , a reasonable husband will not ignore her and pursue his dreams . He will try to get her into the gym with encouragement. If she keeps failing , it SHOULD not stop him from caring about her to help her break the addiction . THAT is what marriage is about !
Since in your mind, a wife takes the place of a professional mental health counselor and maybe even a licensed physician, abi? Continue... undecided

1 Like

Re: Married But Lonely by MESHBEN: 4:52pm On Dec 18, 2023
It's not him doing those horrible things you but the devil, reason you need to wear your armoury and fight this battle on your knees, pray for his restoration and stamp your divine authority in Christ Jesus against the wiles of the wicked in high places.

1 Like

Re: Married But Lonely by zoedew: 4:54pm On Dec 18, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

Examine yourself very closely and critically if you can and you should soon see that you will do better to identify with his productive interests and join him in running those things. He should soon reciprocate your gesture. Finally stop trying to control your husband via funny schemes and all as nothing puts a man off a woman as witchcraft! The real definition of witchcraft is the spirit of control! God hates them witches. Only God should be in control!
Re: Married But Lonely by MESHBEN: 4:55pm On Dec 18, 2023
Get this movie ,it will bless you tremendously " War Room".
Re: Married But Lonely by eliwa47(m): 4:56pm On Dec 18, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

Staying months without touching each other?
Haa, That's serious, and are you sure the man is having an affair outside?
This is deep o!
Re: Married But Lonely by sukkot: 4:58pm On Dec 18, 2023
marriage is loneliness. 2 fakers cohabiting because one has big yanch and the other has big bank account. but the one is really craving a thugged out bad boy with ripped physique and big gbola while the other is craving all kinds and shapes of women everynight. but here they are locked in to societal expectations and conventional humdrum while slowly dying inside and craving for another. the same face, the same voice, the same conversations day in and day out groundhog day. as you watch your life trickle away slowly like the sands of time

yes being married is lonely

unless you reconnect with your higherself and create happiness and fulfilment and contentment from within
Re: Married But Lonely by AbujaLagos: 5:01pm On Dec 18, 2023
This your story no clear
Re: Married But Lonely by SSpeter(m): 5:01pm On Dec 18, 2023
Fountainofyouth:
Before you got married, there are things you did that made you happy right? Career, hobbies, hangouts etc right? Redirect your happiness and fulfillment on that, because marriage is not a bed of roses, it will humble you and shake your resolve, that's why I tell people not to seek happiness from another human, happiness can only come from within one's self, that alone can cancel any feeling of loneliness, all the best.
Happiness is an illusion, happiness is just moments, it comes and goes as humans we cannot truly be happy...we just have to accept it and move on
Re: Married But Lonely by Trophy12: 5:02pm On Dec 18, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

wahala for person way steal church podium.
Re: Married But Lonely by adams123: 5:06pm On Dec 18, 2023
Jayboi:
drop your ego. It's the best you can do. First learn to check what you have been doing that he complains of and after you can then face him. Issues creep into marriages when there are two masters in the boat. You just need to submit and then pray to God. On the addiction, talk to him, invite older and experienced friends of the family. If you want your marriage to come back, fight for it and don't let events dictate.


You get a point here.
Re: Married But Lonely by Gboom: 5:11pm On Dec 18, 2023
Mindlog:


You started out your "counselling" with allocating the cause to the wife as if a man do not have the capacity to be dysfunctional on his own!.

Fight for a marriage with an addict who have no desire to change, Uncle you seem to live in an alternate universe.

Go to rehabilitation facilities.....many men, don't get visitations from their wives and even their own birth families, it shows they are tired of his shenanigans.
Are you married? Have you encountered what the OP is experiencing?
There are 3 sides of a story, you are only reading one
Re: Married But Lonely by FromZeroToHero(m): 5:15pm On Dec 18, 2023
My younger sister is currently experiencing this in her marriage. The husband is a narcissist who always find fault in everything she does.
Re: Married But Lonely by Chronosvineberg(m): 5:15pm On Dec 18, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?


Is he on crack? If so, it is difficult for anything else in this world to trigger his sense of excitement. I wish i had more to say
Re: Married But Lonely by Faposky95: 5:18pm On Dec 18, 2023
TimT:

If there are kids, then develop care, attention and time to them..
If there are no kids then divorce and leave the marriage...
For a loveless marriage can lead you depression...
Marriage is not bondage....
There are a million people out there that can give/make your life a sense of direction and give you joy... Don't die slowly in a loveless marriage

They didn't marry for the kids alone.....
Why didn't you play Nicodemus and name the kids for the parents....
Yeah right....!!!!!!
They should divorce......?!
It's like saying because you're sad you'll not eat.
Beauty tamed the beast.
If you believe, the sparkle will come.....fight for it.
But if you think there's one someone to fulfill all that gumbo thought, then leave.....and you'll be back
Re: Married But Lonely by frozen70(f): 5:25pm On Dec 18, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?


Sorry that it has gotten to this stage

You guys are just room mates, but minding your business and nothing more

Focus on your kids if any and make friends with people online

He too is is busy with online friends

Loneliness kills faster than malaria
Re: Married But Lonely by SalamRushdie: 5:25pm On Dec 18, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?


Just say your husband is broke , if he was a billionaire with this addiction you will say nothing
Re: Married But Lonely by Klass99(f): 5:25pm On Dec 18, 2023

2 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by Cromagnon: 5:26pm On Dec 18, 2023
TimT:

If there are kids, then develop care, attention and time to them..
If there are no kids then divorce and leave the marriage...
For a loveless marriage can lead you depression...
Marriage is not bondage....
Is that what your bible says


There are a million people out there that can give/make your life a sense of direction and give you joy... Don't die slowly in a loveless marriage
Re: Married But Lonely by Mosba: 5:30pm On Dec 18, 2023
F
Re: Married But Lonely by Iamzik: 5:30pm On Dec 18, 2023
YoungBlackRico:
Fact!...if you need others to be happy or feel good about yourself, you're never truly happy.

Everybody need somebody. This woke ideology that you don't need anybody is wrong
Re: Married But Lonely by BloomingDale(f): 5:32pm On Dec 18, 2023
Jayboi:
drop your ego. It's the best you can do. First learn to check what you have been doing that he complains of and after you can then face him. Issues creep into marriages when there are two masters in the boat. You just need to submit and then pray to God. On the addiction, talk to him, invite older and experienced friends of the family. If you want your marriage to come back, fight for it and don't let events dictate.

Re: Married But Lonely by maasoap(m): 5:33pm On Dec 18, 2023
TimT:

If there are kids, then develop care, attention and time to them..
If there are no kids then divorce and leave the marriage...
For a loveless marriage can lead you depression...
Marriage is not bondage....
There are a million people out there that can give/make your life a sense of direction and give you joy... Don't die slowly in a loveless marriage
Substituting love of your partner for that of your kids can't really work for many. It is either they work on their differences or seek separation or divorce.
Re: Married But Lonely by crystalmoon(m): 5:33pm On Dec 18, 2023
Jayboi:
drop your ego. It's the best you can do. First learn to check what you have been doing that he complains of and after you can then face him. Issues creep into marriages when there are two masters in the boat. You just need to submit and then pray to God. On the addiction, talk to him, invite older and experienced friends of the family. If you want your marriage to come back, fight for it and don't let events dictate.
Listen to this man at your own peril
Re: Married But Lonely by sukkot: 5:34pm On Dec 18, 2023
Klass99:


What kind of nonsense is this? You are such a pessimistic jackass grin. Have you never been in love or genuinely liked someone, to a point where you could see yourself to spending your life with them? We need to recalibrate your thinking, your time in obodo has messed up your mind.

grin grin grin grin lmao seriously though ? its just a trolling post to get reactions. it may be some peoples reality but there are many other realities out there.
Re: Married But Lonely by maasoap(m): 5:36pm On Dec 18, 2023
sukkot:
marriage is loneliness. 2 fakers cohabiting because one has big yanch and the other has big bank account. but the one is really craving a thugged out bad boy with ripped physique and big gbola while the other is craving all kinds and shapes of women everynight. but here they are locked in to societal expectations and conventional humdrum while slowly dying inside and craving for another. the same face, the same voice, the same conversations day in and day out groundhog day. as you watch your life trickle away slowly like the sands of time

yes being married is lonely

unless you reconnect with your higherself and create happiness and fulfilment and contentment from within

You tasted a marriage with love? After 12 years of marriage, I'm not sure I can leave my wife due to our bonds. And her leaving me, that's even more remote.
If marriage is all about money and yansh, I don't think it's really worth it
Re: Married But Lonely by sukkot: 5:40pm On Dec 18, 2023
maasoap:


You tasted a marriage with love. After 12 years of marriage, I'm not I can leave my wife due to our bonds. And her leaving me, that's even more remote.
If marriage is all about money and yansh, I don't think it's really worth it
strictly trolling post bro. like i know love is real. from personal experience
Re: Married But Lonely by Iamzik: 5:42pm On Dec 18, 2023
Abemy:

I suffer the same fate, we only have intimacy when she decides.

All those hanty forming relationship expert will not see this o.
Guy with her down and tell her in clear terms that she is not meeting your emotional/sexual needs. Talk it out and understand what the challenge is first. Her response or willingness to solve the issue will determine your next line of action.

This right here is the reason why most decent men end up cheating
Re: Married But Lonely by saasala(m): 5:47pm On Dec 18, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?


Tell us the addiction gangan. Let's start from there.
Re: Married But Lonely by bestcryptodeals: 5:51pm On Dec 18, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

Well, from my little experience, he might also be feeling lonely the same way you are feeling at the moment, but my advice to you is to seek to understand before trying to be understood.

Make the first move, ask him what is wrong with him, ask him why he does what he does, try to get some genuine answers from him and then let him know how is actions have been affecting you.

Take him back to the early days how you both used to be like, let me him know you still love him and care about him, except your actions have been saying otherwise though. Touch while you talk, you both might just end your sex holidays there and start a new life, you never can tell.
Re: Married But Lonely by Iamzik: 5:54pm On Dec 18, 2023
africandollar:
Bukola, maybe you should get a job and quit yapping about! Other people have real problems in their marriages but you have a husband that takes care of your needs and provides yet you have refused to work when the opportunity provided itself so you can ease the financial stress on your husband, if you’re tired of the marriage then go back to Nigeria to your father’s house since you’ve been saying that you wanted a divorce.

Get a fucking job and make life easier for your spouse! Simples!

PS: Kindly elaborate on what my addiction is ‘cos that is the part I don’t understand!

Wahala!

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