sammymax:
I seriously need advice as I really don't know what the right or best thing to do at this time. Please elders in the house be kind enough to suggest what I could do.

I did not think something like this can still happen in this era but this is what I have to deal with. So my mum flat out told me she does not like the girl I took home because she is not fine. About 3years ago when we went home together she told me this but I just disregarded it like when I'm ready she won't have a choice but to accept her as she is. To be honest she is not fine at all but she gives me peace of mind which I feel is the ultimate.

She was involved in an accident with my dad last year and we lost my dad in the process. During the burial I went home with my babe again and my mum still made her displeasure with the girl show.

The thing now is that I went home again to see how she is doing and she called to speak me again after stating that I had disobeyed her by not breaking up with the girl she said is still not having her and if I insist she is the one I should count her out of the marriage. She can never come visiting or even call her. She will not attend the wedding. Now I am 32 and she is 30

How do I navigate this situation. I plead for good advice. Have you been in a similar situation how did you handle it.

Let's have her picture in other to make informed submission. For now, it's difficult to draw a conclusion

Men of this generation is something else my dear small issue vum they are online seeking for advice that will cause more havoc on the issue

CountinBlessins:
Grow up and stop bringing your problems to social media it shows you are a weakling and not fit to be called an adult!! Handle your issues in privacy. Weakling

Double0h7:
Trigger warning ⚠️ unpopular opinion ‼️

Have you thought about your children and how they will look? If you’re not attractive then you’re setting your children up for future rejection. People have always looked for good genes to pass along to their offspring. Your mother definitely means well for you.

If you are very attractive then you could offset her lack but if you’re not then you are setting your children up for bullying and rejection of their own.

Another thing, it makes sense that she is peaceful because imagine if she was unattractive inside and out.

Is Ned or Oshiomole rejected? Even MKO had many wives

For man, all you need is intelligence n money.....you go even snatch girl friends of the handsome ones

lilyheaven:
Mama don’t want ugly grandkids 😃

Lol

Beauty, they say is in the eyes of the beholder. I believe every woman is beautiful. When I was preparing for marriage, my mum objected marrying the lady because of her height. Then I asked my mum if she was her daughter if she would dissuade men from marrying her. Today she is my mum's favourite

CountinBlessins:
Grow up and stop bringing your problems to social media it shows you are a weakling and not fit to be called an adult!! Handle your issues in privacy. Weakling

He's not a weakling

That's African mentality that makes you believe that

Men don't cry

Men don't share their problems

They keep bottling it till depression sets in

Absolute rubbish

Broh you need to marry something one can look on for you to have children that are somehow presentable, you wey wan marry urgly woman put for house hope you know it's a lifelong union,hope you won't get tired and start looking for something more presentable tomorrow,will her people reduce the bride price because she's not beautiful,think about the future man

Know yet not that ugly ladies blood are very strong. She will alter the looks of your generation😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

sammymax:
I seriously need advice as I really don't know what the right or best thing to do at this time. Please elders in the house be kind enough to suggest what I could do.

I did not think something like this can still happen in this era but this is what I have to deal with. So my mum flat out told me she does not like the girl I took home because she is not fine. About 3years ago when we went home together she told me this but I just disregarded it like when I'm ready she won't have a choice but to accept her as she is. To be honest she is not fine at all but she gives me peace of mind which I feel is the ultimate.

She was involved in an accident with my dad last year and we lost my dad in the process. During the burial I went home with my babe again and my mum still made her displeasure with the girl show.

The thing now is that I went home again to see how she is doing and she called to speak me again after stating that I had disobeyed her by not breaking up with the girl she said is still not having her and if I insist she is the one I should count her out of the marriage. She can never come visiting or even call her. She will not attend the wedding. Now I am 32 and she is 30

How do I navigate this situation. I plead for good advice. Have you been in a similar situation how did you handle it.

Some people have told you the truth even though they were harsh.
At this and times, how did you allow your mother to be dictating to you on a very personal decision?
What exactly does your mother not like about the lady? Is she bad manner or have issues?
You have allowed your mother to run your life for you and think you can take a step without her order.
I am not going to ask your tribe cos I already know.
If you need your mom's consent she will have more reason to control you more. Be ready that she will be the one to run your marriage and determine what soup your wife must cook for you.
Grow up and decide critical issues for yourself.
Love and respect your mother, but tell her to maintain her boundaries when it comes to certain personal issues.
Tell your mother you will go ahead with your decision because na you dey marry wife not her.

Did she allow her mother inlaw to dictate for her husband??
Some mothers sef.

Double0h7:
Trigger warning ⚠️ unpopular opinion ‼️

Have you thought about your children and how they will look? If you’re not attractive then you’re setting your children up for future rejection. People have always looked for good genes to pass along to their offspring. Your mother definitely means well for you.

If you are very attractive then you could offset her lack but if you’re not then you are setting your children up for bullying and rejection of their own.

Another thing, it makes sense that she is peaceful because imagine if she was unattractive inside and out.

LOL

Omoawoke:


even your mama see am, she fear.... I am a guy and I can't still figure out how some of my fellow guys settle for ugly girls. Some girls ugly no be small and I always respect the men that took them for who they are. As for me, a girl must be attractive before I can even consider her because I love beauty, there are many pretty girls who are decent and will give rest of mind, why should I shortchange myself and marry an unattractive one?

You made laugh, the part that got me was “why should I shortchange myself and marry an unattractive one” hmmm

Joke is when people think two fine parents automatically equals cute kids. Na this same internet we see normal parents with 3 pure albino kids, or normal parents having obese or kids with special needs. Biology is indeed a wonderful thing.

sammymax:
I seriously need advice as I really don't know what the right or best thing to do at this time. Please elders in the house be kind enough to suggest what I could do.

I did not think something like this can still happen in this era but this is what I have to deal with. So my mum flat out told me she does not like the girl I took home because she is not fine. About 3years ago when we went home together she told me this but I just disregarded it like when I'm ready she won't have a choice but to accept her as she is. To be honest she is not fine at all but she gives me peace of mind which I feel is the ultimate.

She was involved in an accident with my dad last year and we lost my dad in the process. During the burial I went home with my babe again and my mum still made her displeasure with the girl show.

The thing now is that I went home again to see how she is doing and she called to speak me again after stating that I had disobeyed her by not breaking up with the girl she said is still not having her and if I insist she is the one I should count her out of the marriage. She can never come visiting or even call her. She will not attend the wedding. Now I am 32 and she is 30

How do I navigate this situation. I plead for good advice. Have you been in a similar situation how did you handle it.

you self, why you go carry ugly girl na

Omoawoke:


we just enjoy to pretend, do you want us to start posting pictures of ugly people to prove a point (respect to the ugly)
Some people are damn ugly and that is the truth..
Imagine a very short girl, with shapeless body, pot belly and scattered teeth plus big eyeballs and long forehead. Some girls/guys are so ugly that you will be pitying them , like I said, no disrespect intended, we don't have to make fun of them or make them feel less human. And I respect the people that settle for them, but lets call a spade a spade, as much as there are very attractive people, there are extremely ugly people too

Kilode 😂😂😂😂. The description , OMG😂😂😂😂

looooool........ur mummy is funny o. Sha let me tell you something, all you need to get married in Nigeria is consent of bride, groom and i think 2 witnesses one for groom one for bride.

I for tell u weytin to do but this one u just dey type my mummy my mummy,

Cit off from your mum for some time, she will get the message clearly

You even said she is not fine at all.

It is better for that girl to go with a man that sees her as a prize and not what he settled for. You, by your own words, don't rate her much. Yes. You will always look at her as if you did her a favor by marrying her. She cannot do 'shakara' around you because you rate her lowly. In fact, she won't have any pride in the marriage. It is better she goes with a man that will truly appreciate her.

Old women rating young ladies. Always. They always, ALWAYS forget their own wrinkles and such and go around rating young women to be beautiful or ugly.

Even the way people go around rating by looks. It's so disgusting. As if they don't have brains. I don't have respect for people again, I know all it takes to win them over is a pretty face and a charismatic character. Just like putting cheese in a rat trap.

This world is so heartless. So because the lady is not fine, she is not worth it? Not fine, according to older grandma, who is not even humble with all her old hair and age. Disappointment! Big disappointment! So the young lady should go and kill herself?

Honestly, a woman's beauty is considered to be her value by men, just like how a man's wealth and success determines his pull of women. That's the transactional world we live in, even if I don't like it.

Jewessgratitud3:
Lol funny but sad.

Your Mom reminds me of my Moms family that are particular about the beauty of a girl or handsomeness of a man you're bringing home. As in.. they will tell you this one you bring dudu nyanya come hope you're not planning to have something with him/her?
I'm talking about my grand aunties those days, which was why they selected a very handsome oyinbo looking husband for my Mom. Others who came were rejected until fine boy Lagos (my dad) now came. .

See she's your Mom and you need her consent and support in your marriage and if she says she doesn't like who you're bringing, let her go abi? This one you're claiming peace of mind, wait until you marry her. Let me tell you some girls can pretend just to enter especially if they know they are not so attractive but after they enter na that your mama she go first slap.

Abeg let her go. Prayerfully look for another girl and stop making it look like we wey fine na pain in the neck.. we too dey give peace of mind but if we do small shakara una go say we no give una peace. If woman no do shakara for her her husband who she go do am for?

Abeg leave her and let mama have her own peace of mind too. No be only you want peace of mind

Worse counsel ever

Jewessgratitud3:
Lol funny but sad.

Your Mom reminds me of my Moms family that are particular about the beauty of a girl or handsomeness of a man you're bringing home. As in.. they will tell you this one you bring dudu nyanya come hope you're not planning to have something with him/her?
I'm talking about my grand aunties those days, which was why they selected a very handsome oyinbo looking husband for my Mom. Others who came were rejected until fine boy Lagos (my dad) now came. .

See she's your Mom and you need her consent and support in your marriage and if she says she doesn't like who you're bringing, let her go abi? This one you're claiming peace of mind, wait until you marry her. Let me tell you some girls can pretend just to enter especially if they know they are not so attractive but after they enter na that your mama she go first slap.

Abeg let her go. Prayerfully look for another girl and stop making it look like we wey fine na pain in the neck.. we too dey give peace of mind but if we do small shakara una go say we no give una peace. If woman no do shakara for her her husband who she go do am for?

Abeg leave her and let mama have her own peace of mind too. No be only you want peace of mind

op, never listen to this rubbish advice.
A word is enough for a wise.

CountinBlessins:


You are very senseless and weak. Weak men like you are the type that suck dīck.
Stupid nonsense. Better go and meet your father to teach you how to be a man. Useless idiot. Are you a woman? Foolish idiot

Who is deceiving you that you're a strong man?
Dindinrin

fyzaila:
The children looks is a stake here. Choose well o

. God bless you o Jare. Serious matter ni o. And in most cases children always resemble their mum. Think we'll o.

CountinBlessins:
Grow up and stop bringing your problems to social media it shows you are a weakling and not fit to be called an adult!! Handle your issues in privacy. Weakling

We know you're the mum
Stop hiding😂

Headless fkn mum

mumexcellency:
. God bless you o Jare. Serious matter ni o. And in most cases children always resemble their mum. Think we'll o.

Imagine if the girl is your child. How will you feel. Seeing men reject your delicate hurt daughter like that. Losing confidence day by day. Being treated like shit. Descending into depression. Because of her so called looks. Your own child whom you loved and raised and hugged when she cried.

If it was your child going though this rejection, how will you feel. Will you boldly and happily agree to the advice you're giving?

sammymax:
I seriously need advice as I really don't know what the right or best thing to do at this time. Please elders in the house be kind enough to suggest what I could do.

I did not think something like this can still happen in this era but this is what I have to deal with. So my mum flat out told me she does not like the girl I took home because she is not fine. About 3years ago when we went home together she told me this but I just disregarded it like when I'm ready she won't have a choice but to accept her as she is. To be honest she is not fine at all but she gives me peace of mind which I feel is the ultimate.

She was involved in an accident with my dad last year and we lost my dad in the process. During the burial I went home with my babe again and my mum still made her displeasure with the girl show.

The thing now is that I went home again to see how she is doing and she called to speak me again after stating that I had disobeyed her by not breaking up with the girl she said is still not having her and if I insist she is the one I should count her out of the marriage. She can never come visiting or even call her. She will not attend the wedding. Now I am 32 and she is 30

How do I navigate this situation. I plead for good advice. Have you been in a similar situation how did you handle it.

So, fine girls no dey town again that made you went after an ugly lady? You want to be giving births to ugly offsprings? . Find beautiful girl to take back to your moma and make her smile for seeing better babe in law.
I guess you have problem talking to girls. Because, that's the one of the reasons why you would decide to settle for less

fyzaila:
The children looks is a stake here. Choose well o

I was waiting 4 this

CountinBlessins:
Grow up and stop bringing your problems to social media it shows you are a weakling and not fit to be called an adult!! Handle your issues in privacy. Weakling

Handle yours the way you like and let him handle his the way he wants. Una just like giving advice people no solicit for!

Double0h7:
Trigger warning ⚠️ unpopular opinion ‼️

Have you thought about your children and how they will look? If you’re not attractive then you’re setting your children up for future rejection. People have always looked for good genes to pass along to their offspring. Your mother definitely means well for you.

If you are very attractive then you could offset her lack but if you’re not then you are setting your children up for bullying and rejection of their own.

Another thing, it makes sense that she is peaceful because imagine if she was unattractive inside and out.

Thank you.

sammymax:
I seriously need advice as I really don't know what the right or best thing to do at this time. Please elders in the house be kind enough to suggest what I could do.

I did not think something like this can still happen in this era but this is what I have to deal with. So my mum flat out told me she does not like the girl I took home because she is not fine. About 3years ago when we went home together she told me this but I just disregarded it like when I'm ready she won't have a choice but to accept her as she is. To be honest she is not fine at all but she gives me peace of mind which I feel is the ultimate.

She was involved in an accident with my dad last year and we lost my dad in the process. During the burial I went home with my babe again and my mum still made her displeasure with the girl show.

The thing now is that I went home again to see how she is doing and she called to speak me again after stating that I had disobeyed her by not breaking up with the girl she said is still not having her and if I insist she is the one I should count her out of the marriage. She can never come visiting or even call her. She will not attend the wedding. Now I am 32 and she is 30

How do I navigate this situation. I plead for good advice. Have you been in a similar situation how did you handle it.

There is an African proverb that goes: “What an old man can see sitting down, the youth cannot see standing up.” The wisdom that the elderly possess is something so powerful that they are able to see far, even if a young person was to put effort.


I will suggest you sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your mother on the pros and cons of your future relationship with her , if it makes sense to you ( you have done CRITICAL THINKING and ANALYSIS) on the discussion for some days ..
Then the decision is yours to make ..
As it stands it will not be easy to break up with the person who love wholeheartedly..
This is my suggestion..

Sweetvie:

The girlfriend's appearance should not be a factor in whether or not she is suitable for you. There's more to marriage than beautiful face.
Na now wey the girl don reach 30 una wan come break up? Nah you must marry her

Says by who? You? Laughing. Have you ever toasted or dated an ugly lady in your dating experience?
She doesn't have to be qualified as beautiful but she must not qualify as ugly too. Think of the looks of your children and how the society will be treating or reacting to their appearances (starting from the bullying at school). Be warned!!

purples25:
You even said she is not fine at all.

It is better for that girl to go with a man that sees her as a prize and not what he settled for. You, by your own words, don't rate her much. Yes. You will always look at her as if you did her a favor by marrying her. She cannot do 'shakara' around you because you rate her lowly. In fact, she won't have any pride in the marriage. It is better she goes with a man that will truly appreciate her.

Old women rating young ladies. Always. They always, ALWAYS forget their own wrinkles and such and go around rating young women to be beautiful or ugly.

Even the way people go around rating by looks. It's so disgusting. As if they don't have brains. I don't have respect for people again, I know all it takes to win them over is a pretty face and a charismatic character. Just like putting cheese in a rat trap.

This world is so heartless. So because the lady is not fine, she is not worth it? Not fine, according to older grandma, who is not even humble with all her old hair and age. Disappointment! Big disappointment! So the young lady should go and kill herself?

Honestly, a woman's beauty is considered to be her value by men, just like how a man's wealth and success determines his pull of women. That's the transactional world we live in, even if I don't like it.

Bolded part is a prize, the rest na history lesson.

Gadafii:
Your mum wants you to marry pretty girl that might likely show you and her pepper later

Your mom is shallow sorry to say

A girl who is homely and gives you peace of mind, respects your family and your decision is the ultimate girl, you fit marry fine girl wey go dey beat your mama later

Forget that thing jor!

A pretty girl can possess good qualities while an ugly girl can also make your life miserable. Having good character has nothing to do with looks, a bad person is a bad person.

I wouldn't advice my child to get married to an ugly partner, pity your grand children.