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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? (47293 Views)
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Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Kingson28: 8:28pm On Apr 11 |
Let's see it from the angle of hiring or employing a maid or house help. To work for you, you MUST house her, feed her and pay her at least 20k monthly. Why not do same at least for the woman you claim to love? If you now add knacking and childbearing to the job of the maid, won't you increase her salary? Demanding that your wife work and bring something to the table means that she will not be saddled with the responsibility of homemaking. A maid MUST be employed to do the chores. 2 Likes |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Moniya4Real(m): 8:33pm On Apr 11 |
But hope say you too go give your hubby unfettered access to that thing, cook for him and above all; give him peace of mind o. folake4u: |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by bukatyne(f): 8:37pm On Apr 11 |
tollyboy5: Epe women are the major financers even in a polygamous marriages. So not surprised 1 Like |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by folake4u(f): 8:38pm On Apr 11 |
Moniya4Real: I'm a woman of peace. 1 Like |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Amount(m): 8:39pm On Apr 11 |
Proserpina: Imagine where you dey, still dey say you go come for someone.... Fix yourself first if only you can🤤 |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by bukatyne(f): 8:49pm On Apr 11 |
Charly68: What did God tell men |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by pocohantas(f): 9:00pm On Apr 11 |
Eunoiaa: I don't believe a man should be a sole provider, but I believe he should be the major provider, given that we all know 80% of the time, the women handles childearing, nurturing and running the home alone! The only place I see most Nigerian men cook and clean with their wives is abroad and we all see how they complain and refuse to adapt. Anything less, I don't recommend or practice. Goodluck on finding a man that would sometimes be a woman and allow you be the man. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Evolutionism: 9:00pm On Apr 11 |
Undiluted Vawulence Thread. All of you go dey Alright. Guaranteed. |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by MOG6670(m): 9:02pm On Apr 11 |
Proserpina:keep quit bae. What we're try to scale out here is that, ladies should not be a liability or wear the entitlement mentality, but she should be productive in her own little way. Men are to provide, but women are nt left out this time around. |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Amumaigwe: 9:03pm On Apr 11 |
Proserpina: Olosho mentality. 2 Likes |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by tollyboy5(m): 9:07pm On Apr 11 |
bukatyne:My grandfather has two wives. Both are well to do. Reason why my dad sisters are doing well today financially in their husband's house. So I don't even understand what these ladies are saying, my grandparents are old fashioned too. |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Afolue(m): 9:12pm On Apr 11 |
True nah. What’s wrong in her ideology?. Isn’t that the main reason why reasonable men like us are still single. It’s only desperate ladies who accept the contrary of what she has just said. As a Man I concur. Breeds more responsible men in the society 3 Likes |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by tollyboy5(m): 9:13pm On Apr 11 |
bukatyne:Yes I understand what you meant. Agreed 100% |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by YemyTemmy: 9:14pm On Apr 11 |
Truely man's duty is to provide for the home, there is no lie in the post, but only liabilities will always dwell on such ideology.... those who support their husband dont make noise 1 Like |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by tollyboy5(m): 9:17pm On Apr 11 |
Firefly2017:I don't have problem providing. But what I want to avoid is any lady with the slightest form of entitlement. |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Bluffly: 9:20pm On Apr 11 |
Proserpina:Where is it written? Dumbo 1 Like |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Bluffly: 9:23pm On Apr 11 |
Afolue:Lie. I and my wife had practically have nothing when we married. Now we both spend and doing well. She spends and see herself as support and she still refers to me in doing things while I also don't Lord over her. She is submissive and loving as well. Marriage is for wise and progressive folks, male and female and not idiots |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by PHIPEX(m): 9:24pm On Apr 11 |
Proserpina:But tomorrow you talk about gender equality in marriage right? Now a man has to feed you like a handicapped person yet tomorrow you tell same man that both of you are equal. Why must your feeding be his responsibility? |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by equity1(m): 9:24pm On Apr 11 |
Proserpina:birds of identical prunage that parabulate in a similar corrigendum. 1 Like |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Bluffly: 9:28pm On Apr 11 |
Proserpina:You are already unfortunate. It is written that God said it is not good that a man to be alone let us make for him an help meet. So it is your duty to do whatever he is doing and it is non negotiable. It means you must have been able to look after yourself before you can be a help to someone else and not looking for a poverty alleviator to alleviate the poverty in your life. Also you are fucking each other and not him fucking you. If you are not ready to Bleep your husband unconditionally then you are God forsaking already 2 Likes |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by poshestmina(f): 9:34pm On Apr 11 |
pocohantas: They are their own worst enemies! Once they know ,you will hear "na woman ,ordinary woman dey feed am " . Why should/will that"ordinary woman" provide for the extraordinaire gender of the most high? Until the women holding the house font financially start getting the credits and recognitions ,I'll be the "ordinary woman" ! |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Proserpina: 9:35pm On Apr 11 |
. 1 Like |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Proserpina: 9:37pm On Apr 11 |
. |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Eunoiaa(f): 10:00pm On Apr 11 |
pocohantas: You agreed to "men being men, and women being women," or else, people will learn, but men being (major) providers and women bearing the bulk of non-financial labour, evidently, isn't beneficial (especially to women). It's the reality, but it's not a healthy arrangement. And there are plenty people who do not conform to that unhealthy set-up, hence my point. They are not being "men", and they are not being "women." Their marriages are working fine without "man bring money; woman bring body" and the whole shebang. Goodluck on finding a man that would sometimes be a woman and allow you be the man. What does this mean, I'm honestly trying to understand? You mean a man who would carry a child to term and raise them with me being a 'provider' to him? 1 Like |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Bluffly: 10:06pm On Apr 11 |
Proserpina:Only a belcher can search for a belcher like yourself. Your bus stop is still far away. Feed yourself first and become a valued added to yourself and your husband. Is that too hard for you. 1 Like |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Proserpina: 10:07pm On Apr 11 |
. |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by sammiewrite(m): 10:07pm On Apr 11 |
To each their own. As someone with a background in finance, I apply risk management to everything I'm doing. In 2024, I won't be guilt trip into that 'provider' bullshit, only to find out at a later date that the child I have spent a better part of my life providing for, is not even my child. Or, that a woman I have been feeding for donkey years is using her own money to be secretly acquiring properties in her name all over the country. I'm not benefitting more from the marriage to necessitate me doing the most. It is when the kids are little, when they require the most financial support and care, that they are his [the man's] kids. When they're grown, their mothers claim them. Fifty-fifty or nothing. |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Bluffly: 10:07pm On Apr 11 |
Proserpina:Werey alakori |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by Bluffly: 10:08pm On Apr 11 |
Proserpina:Bye bye |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by CMC180: 10:26pm On Apr 11 |
. |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by daneni1(m): 10:27pm On Apr 11 |
Eunoiaa: Maybe you should read what I wrote again, this time, slowly. |
Re: For Men, Can You Marry A Lady With This Ideology? by pocohantas(f): 10:34pm On Apr 11 |
Eunoiaa: In reality, one person must do more of something. I won't go pressing calculator over every family expense, but given that I don't take up the major expenses, I already know he is doing more financially. Same way he knows he wouldn't be in the kitchen most times. Except we draw a timetable of who cooks and split every bill down to the last kobo. The issue with this setup isn't the model itself as housewives ensure enough balance in a home to allow the man function effectively at work. The issue is always when one party doesn't know when and how to ease and appreciate their spouses. I am sure I never said man should bring money and woman bring body, but I agree a woman wouldn't willfully lay with a husband that consistently doesn't provide. It is not prostitution, it is only normal people would go out of their way for you when you please and make life easier for them. It is the same reason husbands fulfill 1984 promises after a good sex or meal from their wives. What does this mean, I'm honestly trying to understand? You mean a man who would carry a child to term and raise them with me being a 'provider' to him? I am hoping you are the one to explain how these "healthy" people do it in Nigeria. I believe in gender roles and I am sure you know this by now. It creates balance and accountability. This doesn't rule out both parties ensuring the home is running smoothly and kids are being attended to. I do know that if rice is finishing, I am the one to most likely notice first and if the gen is faulty, he would also notice first. After all, he is the one that would switch it on most. If I prepare their lunchbox, he would bathe them and whoever is going in that direction would drop off. You see I didn't use the words "masculine" and "feminine" because I don't see it from that angle. It is more of accountability to ensure smooth running of the home. We are a team, but even in a team, the striker won't randomly leave his position and go to the goalpost. Now imagine they don't have positions. Everybody just enter field and do the one you feel like doing that day. 7 Likes 3 Shares |
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