joseph1832:
now this is the essence of marriage. People like you believe there's such a thing like perfect marriage, when infact, there isn't. This is were you miss it all.

Olorilolo:
■ Well, I'm not aware of this list you speak of. If there's a link or a book you can refer me to, I'll be glad to go take a look.
■ Marriage I know isn't perfect, but it's mostly beautiful if the members complement each other and If the competition is "Money"... I don't see a competition to begin with.

Kobojunkie:
WOW.... Are you actually admitting to the fact that the suffering of the married tends to outweigh that of the unmarried in many Nigerian scenarios?

integrity16:


Have you been everywhere to conclude that it's loosing relevance?? Just go Ikoyi Registry and see for yourself that people are getting married everyday.

We have not even taken statistics of arranged marriage, village marriages we don't see in churches as people no longer value church weddings anymore.

Kobojunkie:
1. How can you not be aware of the list you quoted earlier when speaking on how having a partner to support one in old age when illness sets in was of benefit?

2. Bullsheet! There is nothing perfect in this world so saying marriage isn't perfect means absolutely nothing. Marriage, like every other business out there, is required to provide value that people can relate to—none of these meaningless pronouncements of no tangible essence. So long as it benefits individuals to remain single rather than be in a committed agreement that leaves them more depleted than if they had remained single, marriage will continue to decline in worth and value.

uche87:


Osahon George Osayimwen writes from England.

Tranquility2345:


Did they teach you in your school that dads and dad’s are the same thing? 🤔

donbenie:
Whilst you are at it taking statistics..
Also tell us the rate of divorces,baby mamas and separations, whether it is increasing or decreasing..
Let's not even go into the unfortunate creatures,trapped in nightmares called marriages they can't leave.

Olorilolo:
■ Now this isn't a direct mention so permit me to jump on it. When you say suffering of the married, it makes me think you're using a loveless marriage as a yardstick...
■ Have you never seen a good marriage, of imperfect beings coming together, getting to understand themselves and becoming perfect for each other?
■ I've seen more good marriages than I have seen bad marriages and no I'm not going to count misunderstandings as a bad marriage.

Kobojunkie:
WOW.... Are you actually admitting to the fact that the suffering of the married tends to outweigh that of the unmarried in many Nigerian scenarios?

donbenie:
That is the difference between you lot and Oyinbo..
Pretence..
You will rather die in a bad marriage,than have the guts to walk away and live..

Olorilolo:
■ In what World would one pick an institution where I'm alone over an institution where I have companion? Choosing to remain single is a life I won't fault anyone for but saying it's better, than having someone to come home to every night, someone who genuinely cares about you and calls you to check up on you? Discusses how the day went with you? Helps you to achieve plans , cheering you all the way? You have kids and then you watch them grow, together!
Like I said, you seem to either be using a loveless marriage as a yardstick or you just have a hill you want to die on and nothing can change your mind.

Kobojunkie:
Remember when I said stop bull sheet-ing, I meant it!

You bring up the issue of love here but what is love? Did you know that individuals, even those in marriage, define love differently? A husband's idea of love may contradict his wife's idea of what love is. We see that a lot. And this typically ends, in the African setting, with one partner suffering in marriage, while the other gets away with murder in the name of love.

2. Marriage is not defined by those few marriages you consider good. It is instead an agreement between a man and a woman. Each couple defines for themselves what marriage will be same as two business partners are meant to decide the details of their business partnership with each other. When one partner feels short-changed in the union, it leads to undue suffering, and that suffering is linked to the existence of the particular union. By, the way, there is no perfection of a relationship between in perfect beings. If perfection were possible, then a contract would not be needed in the first place between the two.

3. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

In 1981, the divorce rate in the State of Plateau, Nigeria, was recorded to have been around 81% among newlyweds. in 2012, a report went out that the divorce rate in Northern Nigeria was among the highest in the world. Now, of course, these reports come from the North where divorce is respected and tracked. In much of Southern Nigeria where divorce is traditionally found, official divorce rates have notoriously been maintained at below 0.1%. This does not consider the rate of marriage abandonment, the acceptable form of divorce among southerners, and equally as high as at least 50%. You claim to have seen mostly good marriages than bad ones so my next question is where exactly did you see them?

joseph1832:
■ I'm actually admitting that the married, getting their heads outta their asses, and knowing the happiness of their kids, is paramount and far outweigh their own happiness is amongst the key to successful marriage

joseph1832:
and live at the expense of your damaged kids? This is why oyibo kids turn out to be exactly what they are today.

Kobojunkie:
It is indeed hard conversing with folks who worship at the altar of "marriage is the only meaning there is to life". Sigh!

The numbers reveal that the trend is moving away from marriage. SInglehood has nothing to do with lack of companionship. It instead has more to do with choosing not to be married to your companion(s). Some single people choose to have children outside of marriage while others choose not to have children at all. others choose to have pets instead. The point is marriage is not as attractive as it used to be and that is a fact of the world we now live in.

Olorilolo:
■ I'm in one. My parents are in one too. My sister is in one. Let's say I indulge you and I call marriage a business by your definition, Do you quit every business partnership because you have different ideas? Don't you make the best if what you agree and build on that?
■ Anyone is capable of being friends with people, for a long time, us capable of this so called business venture. And murder? Really? What's up with you?

get away with murder
INFORMAL
succeed in doing whatever one chooses without being punished or suffering any disadvantage.
"some local authorities are letting real estate agents get away with murder"

donbenie:
The Devil has no business with your broken marriages..
Waiting for the day you lot would start taking responsibility for your actions..

Olorilolo:
■ Lmao . I'm not one of those who worship at that altar. Marriage is not all there is to life and you can choose to live however you want but my, does it add spices to life? Absolutely. I'll say again, for me, a good marriage is better than being single.
As for trends, people are getting divorced and married everyday. It's been the trend since forever, social media is only just broadcasting it.

cutecommend:
If people's first and best love was their spouses, and if the first love of their spouses was them, and if their first ever sex experiences was between them and their spouse in marriage; and the first ever sex experience of their spouses was with them in marriage. And if husbands are hardworking, loving teachable and kind, and wives are submissive, teachable and respectful, maybe marriage will be better...

TooResilient:
I couldn't agree less. When I was growing up, having kids out of wedlock was an abomination. Any girl/lady in such a situation is terribly looked down on.

But as it seems today, people have undervalued the marriage institutions. Men just want to have kids without being bound to a particular woman.

Women are advised to just get a man to impregnate her so she can have children whether the man stays or not.

In the next few years, just watch. Humans will start living like animals, just f^ck anyone and have children, no sacred commitment

Kobojunkie:
Oyibo kids are far better than your Nigerians children. Ask anyone who lives in Oyibo land to tell you the truth.

Kobojunkie:
Essentially you argue that sacrificing one's own happiness and quality of life for the sake of the children— an idea which failed those before you— is the idea which you are still attempting to sell those of this generation even after they have more than learned that it is typically one of the partners in the marriage that does much of that sacrificing at the end of the day?

You are a comedian, aren't you?

joseph1832:
■ believe me, I've asked, and the complain I hear is heart breaking. Oyibo kids can't be better than our naija kids.
■ The kids you see misbehaving and doing all sort of nonsense in naija, is as a result of copying the warp behavior of oyibo kids.
■ No right thinking Nigeria kid, who is well brought up in a proper home, can be compared to any oyibo kid(s)

joseph1832:
how did you know it failed those before me? Can you provide evidence to back up your claim?

tefishy:

It's because a set of people think it's only about divk and pvssy

bishop212:
the sole culprit responsible for the decay of the marriage institution is western media! they started by feeding us with morally deranged movies where two unmarried lovers will be having sex. this movies are always so romantic and interesting that you will ignore the error ( the fact that they are unmarried) and cocus on the love they are trying to portray that was how yheu gradually eroded the relevace of marriage,making people to begin to thinl that its ok for bf and gf to hv sex
secondly ..they introduced porn. promoted the hell out of love songs.songs that fans the flames of lust . they really worked hard to destroy marriages and its finally paying off.

The Extent and Rate of Divorce in Plateau State, Nigeria 1980 to 1988
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J087v21n03_08
Investigated the extent and rate of divorce, causes of divorce, and attitudes toward divorce laws among 2,000 men and women from selected local government areas in Nigeria. Statistics on legal divorce were obtained from courts, and Ss completed a questionnaire regarding their attitudes regarding divorce. Results show a high divorce rate. Women were most likely to get a divorce in customary court, while men were most likely to get a divorce in a traditional village setting. 71.2% of divorced men had their divorce in courts, while 76.6% of divorced women had their marriages annulled in courts. Adultery and childlessness ranked among the highest reasons for divorce. Women were more likely than men to have negative attitudes toward divorce laws because women are always the victims of divorce and not protected by the law.