twosquare:
∆ While you may be right, the 1980s are similar to today in Nigerian history, and worse economically...
Check those in power then...and compare what they brought...if you ask some economic experts, 1980s Bubu and Babangida were what destroyed us till today.

Kobojunkie:
My view is not in the least bit distorted at all. Those formalities establish what you call a marriage — which means you have obtained the product. And marriage is the goal of those who sign those dotted lines. Whatever they do after that is considered marriage? So?

Yes, even random strangers are not barred by law from doing just that. So, I am not certain what you are going on about here.

Banbanna:
Seems you have a strong sense of independence and the thought of surrendering that to a certain extent to some man scares you.

And it also depends on your age, probably you're still young and thinks time is still on your side.

Or maybe why you're not so excited is because you're not so desperate or in a hurry to have kids of your own.
Which btw though, you could have outside wedlock but the dishonour that mostly comes with it might be a turn off for you

remsonik:
Marriage no longer lasts for long as it use to be. It's no longer enduring any hardship or challenges faced by our parents/granny in the old age........
Media,IT and technology advances and innovations brought down its glory.


Also if you don't keep to good health, taking the right diet,eating rightly and managing your daily activities you will lose your emotions and the right hormones body is to produce in love is missed.
I faced it for some 8 years past and since my last relationship ended 2015 I never felt like dating until I got a health improvement

DarkLover:
I'm getting married next year to have a firsthand view. Yeah, marriage is losing its relevance but some marriages are still a good sight to behold, mine would be one too

TooResilient:
I couldn't agree less. When I was growing up, having kids out of wedlock was an abomination. Any girl/lady in such a situation is terribly looked down on.

But as it seems today, people have undervalued the marriage institutions. Men just want to have kids without being bound to a particular woman.

Women are advised to just get a man to impregnate her so she can have children whether the man stays or not.

In the next few years, just watch. Humans will start living like animals, just f^ck anyone and have children, no sacred commitment

EreluRoz:
Nonsense

Only damaged people see marriage that way. If your parents had that mindset you won't be in existence.

Trying so hard to discredit marriage while applauding unlawful cohabitation

teeshet:
shut up. Aren't you the one encouraging feminism and anti marriage ideas

EreluRoz:
When and where?

Beverlyjean:
Man is allowing devil to have a field day... destruction of marriage has always and still is the devil's number 1 priority

teeshet:
can you vouch you are the only one your husband is fùcking

triplechoice:
■ Technically ,marriage means what you say it mean. But it's much more than that when you include in your description what happens after. And it's what happens after that's the focus of nearly everyone here as reason why it appears to be losing relevance.
■ You, alone, is focused on the process during the union as if that's the major reason marriage is being avoided by some But it's not. If it's, then you haven't been able to prove it so far using what you know. As for your final comment, you're yapping nonsense as usual. Random strangers are not barred doesn't mean that sort of thing is happening anywhere in the world. It's only the insane that would engage in that kind of irrational behavior. Please don't just type nonsense and post because you want to say something in reply.

Kobojunkie:
Look, here, no two marriages have ever been shown to be the same and never will. Why? Because marriage is made up of two unique individuals — different experiences, nurture, temperaments, etc. Your mistake is attempting to wrap marriages as if they are according to the idea you have in your head there. You only waste your time talking to someone like me about such things. So long as the marriage certificate is signed/formalities are carried out, every marriage out there is as valid a marriage as your very own marriage. Kapisch!

2. I focus on the process of the union because that is the only element of marriage that can be controlled. Marriage is not meant to be a jail; Divorce is a legal and logical out of marriage. I don't see a reason why I should spend time trying to force people to stay in a union that no longer makes sense to time. By focusing on making marriage attractive and more beneficial, I believe it is possible to not only get more people to choose marriage but also let them see that marriage does not need to turn out for the worst for any of the partners even if it ends in a divorce. Marriage/divorce being a win-win is better than what marriage is right now, isn't it?

Obaranje:
how you take sure sey DNA test no go tell you sey even the pikin from your baby mama no be your own?

The last time I checked baby mama are free browsing system for everyone

CHAQUR:
The world is losing free of God's DOs & DON'Ts. Creating its own laws.
Like a car eg. Volkswagen with its branded engine & all other body parts...you now replaced its engine with that of Nissan. Likely to work but not without a new set of problems... Its manufacturer will never be happy with the changing of the build up of his products. God ordered marriage to limit human indiscipline. Faith isn't going to the church and mosque alone.. It's by embracing every Godly principles. Reflect, don't be part of the white men script.

Taquin:





I’ll be 29 in June. I try to picture myself in a home with husband but I can’t. The only reason why i feel pressured now is because everyone’s is getting married. Left to me, I’ll enter into a contract marriage with someone on the same terms and that will be for kids. I just want a society where a lady can still be unmarried by 40 and people won’t judge. It’s so tiring

Banbanna:
Well, thankfully @ 29 you're still well within that so-called clock that's constantly ticking against women. Are you implying that you and your man would cohabit and raise your kids without necessarily being husband and wife, more like partners? If this what you mean, some people out there are already practicing it. Some eventually formalizes their couple relationship & get married due mostly to pressure from family and friends, or due to being shamed for playing boyfriend/girlfriend for so long, or because they just want some validation of their couple relationship from society.
Seems you aspire to have kids at some point, which is pretty normal and NOT WEIRD 😊 You strike me as someone who loves kids. And could it be that because you have not found the right person that's you're so uncertainty about this marriage thingy 🤔

Chai! see the way you've recalibrated this matter . Hmm, very feministic indeed!

I was merely expressing the POV of the society which generally sees any woman who inspite of having everything going well for her, but chooses a single life, as someone with a strong sense of independence. That's just the construct of the traditional society in which we live in, that men can chose or afford to be standalones, but women usually don't have that luxury.

And as per the urgency of having kids, it's needless to even remind you. You know already na. Man's got all the time in the world unlike you women folks

Saying that some women deciding not to get married for reasons best known to them is very logical. This marriage thing is a Personal Journey.

You dey form woke feminist here instead of thanking your stars for finding yourself in this part of the world rather than in some of those very traditional Muslim societies were marriages are forced on their women whether they like it or not, and opting out of the union is being seen as dishonour, and they end up being killed by their own family

Kobojunkie:
Abegi!

When a man chooses to remain single do you as well tell him it has to do with his having a strong sense of independence or that it depends on his age, or that maybe he is not desperate or in a hurry to have kids of his own? Wake the fk up abeg! There have always been people in every community who have opted to not enter into marriage contracts for one reason or another. And these reasons these people have had, no matter how against the cultural norm of the time it has been, are valid enough reasons for them and hence honorable. Society is not the only decider as far as what is honorable or not honorable. Individuals have the right to decide for themselves, within the purview of the Law, of course, what they deem honorable or not.

Marriage no be by force!

Banbanna:
■ Chai! see the way you've recalibrated this matter . Hmm, very feministic indeed!
■ [b]I was merely expressing the POV of the society which generally sees any woman who inspite of having everything going well for her, but chooses a single life, as someone with a strong sense of independence. [/b]That's just the construct of the traditional society in which we live in, that men can chose or afford to be standalones, but women usually don't have that luxury.
■ And as per the urgency of having kids, it's needless to even remind you. You know already na. Man's got all the time in the world unlike you women folks Saying that some women deciding not to get married for reasons best known to them is very logical. This marriage thing is a Personal Journey. You dey form woke feminist here instead of thanking your stars for finding yourself in this part of the world rather than in some of those very traditional Muslim societies were marriages are forced on their women whether they like it or not, and opting out of the union is being seen as dishonour, and they end up being killed by their own family

Kobojunkie:
Look, here, no two marriages have ever been shown to be the same and never will. Why? Because marriage is made up of two unique individuals — different experiences, nurture, temperaments, etc.

Your mistake is attempting to wrap marriages as if they are according to the idea you have in your head there. You only waste your time talking to someone like me about such things. So long as the marriage certificate is signed/formalities are carried out, every marriage out there is as valid a marriage as your very own marriage. Kapisch!

2. I focus on the process of the union because that is the only element of marriage that can be controlled. Marriage is not meant to be a jail; Divorce is a legal and logical out of marriage. I don't see a reason why I should spend time trying to force people to stay in a union that no longer makes sense to time. By focusing on making marriage attractive and more beneficial, I believe it is possible to not only get more people to choose marriage but also let them see that marriage does not need to turn out for the worst for any of the partners even if it ends in a divorce. Marriage/divorce being a win-win is better than what marriage is right now,

triplechoice:
■ Your assumptions about me and bias against the institution of marriage is really working against you. Where did I even suggest that every marriage is the same for you to reply me with the above flippant talk? Is it that you have problem understanding what you read, or using that to escape answering directly to what you have no answer to? You're notorious for doing this on this board nearly every time, and this is not the first time with me.
■ And again where did I say or suggest every marriages out there is not valid . You really have a problem. Yes ,I know that I have been wasting my time talking to you because not only are you not married to discuss this (this not to mock you in anyway. I wish you to get married) , you're also a well known misogamist ,a marriage hater ,who's is deluded to believe that an imaginary God has placed a curse on all marriages and for that no one should venture into it. Is that not what you repeat like a bot all the time here? Yes.
■ Then please explain how an improvement on the process will make it attractive, beneficial and successful after, without the couples doing anything? You won't answer. I'm sure of that. Both the process and what it leads to complement each other ,but the goal or the end is the most important area to focus on. Where are your going with the marriage? If you don't know that, then you surely go nowhere. It's as simple as that.
■ And again where did I say or suggest every marriages out there is not valid based on the things I have said ? Please go get married first even if with a random stranger so you have some experience of your own and come back later to advise people from what you learnt. You have been overreaching yourself on a topic you should have kept quiet already and learn from others experienced in it. I will reply later to the link you replied me with concerning rising cases of divorce in Nigeria,and end the conversation immediately after that.

Kobojunkie:
1. So, you do agree then that once that marriage license is issued or the ceremonials are taken care of, what one has is marriage — the product —regardless of what comes afterward? Case closed then!

2. Oi Vey! One moment you pretend you respect the fact that all marriages are unique as they are and are valid even at that, the next moment you come up suggesting that it is all based on experience. what the heck is up with you? Make up your fking mind for Pete's sake!

3. The subject of this conversation is the fact that more and more are opting out of the marriage agreement and choosing to remain single or cohabit instead. By improving benefits available to the married... reduced taxation for instance, housing vouchers for the married, child-tax credit for the marriage, equal division of marriage property in the case of divorce, alimony, and all of that good stuff, you go a long way to encourage individuals to consider marriage than the alternatives. This is already been used in other places and proven to be of value.

4. Look, abandon this talk cause you seem to have an agenda I am altogether not the least bit interested in as it is clear you have a hard time staying on time and would rather ramble on about how trying marriage is the way to know marriage when even the 5-year-old here with basic social-emotional learning (SEL) experience has figured out these things..

Okay o. You win, 'cause I'm most likely going to be at the losing end of this argument as you seem to have a way of twisting my meaning.

@ the bolded below, you seem not to know how verbose & bogus this your undue comparison looks. Like seriously

Kobojunkie:

Or do you believe the honor killings make Islam's bullying worse than your traditional kind of bullying?

Banbanna:
. Okay o. You win, 'cause I'm most likely going to be at the losing end of this argument as you seem to have a way of twisting my meaning.
@ the bolded below, you seem not to know how verbose & bogus this your undue comparison looks. Like seriously

Banbanna:
You dey form woke feminist here instead of thanking your stars for finding yourself in this part of the world rather than in some of those very traditional Muslim societies were marriages are forced on their women whether they like it or not, and opting out of the union is being seen as dishonour, and they end up being killed by their own family

cyborgFUNAI:
WHY touch Andrew Tate? he wants men to be strong and provide for their families but you see that as toxic?

TooResilient:
In the next few years, just watch. Humans will start living like animals, just f^ck anyone and have children, no sacred commitment