Good evening all. For anonymity's sake I had to be discreet. I am in distress as it is. My wife recently traveled last month for her late father's burial. I showed her all the support I could give as a husband according to my means, and due to the situation in the country, I could only convince one of my friends to accompany me to her town on the day of the burial to pay homage and I left that same day which her people also saw. I was expecting her to come back after some days of stay but to my surprise, I received a call the following day that there are some certain things I need to do as an in-law and one of her brother chatted me on whatsapp about it.. with pictures I can't post here. That the family is expecting my return that same week. At first I was surprised and felt he was joking. I even tried to make him understand my situation, that I am not financially strong and am hardly surviving and if it can be skipped. Because in my own town it's just that day alone I just need to come with my people and represent after that it's finish..From what was supposed to be a mature conversation resulted in insults because I can't just stand there and see him insult me... He bluntly told me my wife won't return to my house unless I come to do what was demanded of me by them the family. which costs quite alot. I have been depressed ever since about all this. I never bargained for any of this. I am not the one responsible for her father death.. I spoke to my wife about it and she knows our situation hoping she be able to talk to her people..first she was reasonable but now it seems she has joined them in it. For the sake of my kids I am thinking about taking legal action or human rights because this is another form of bully..I payed for her bride price and I can't be treated in such a manner.

Is the marriage legally-instituted? If not, forget about taking a legal action.

After all, how will you fund the legal step as you have no money to settle your in-laws?

Remain patient and peaceful in the matter.

When you are marrying out of your tribe, pls ensure you know all the customs and traditions before you proceed.

Gra-gra won't solve anything.

If u can, travel back and negotiate.

Tell them to f(u)ck off. If she won't return home let them keep her. I don't know why we still practice such useless and barbaric norms.
You don't have a wife. What you have is an agent of backwardness that will impede your progress in life. If she doesn't want to return home, celebrate and thank God.
If your in-laws get you to bend now, they will use your eye see shege.

wahala no be anybodi mate

Dialogue is the way brother. Don't let emotions get the better fo you.

Travel back ands it with them and dialogue face to face. Mobile phones have ruined a lot of relationships.

Do it the old fashioned way of face to face conversation .

All will be well. Two hot heads can never resolve anything. This isn't about ego or pride. Go there and calmly talk to them trust me they will understand.

Foodqueen:
When you are marrying out of your tribe, pls ensure you know all the customs and traditions before you proceed.

Gra-gra won't solve anything.

If u can, travel back and negotiate.

I have tried to make them understand my situation. They don't even pick my calls anymore like I am the one responsible for their father death.

immortalcrown:
Is the marriage legally-instituted? If not, forget about taking a legal action.

After all, how will you fund the legal step as you have no money to settle your in-laws?

Remain patient and peaceful in the matter.

Patient till when? What about my kids?
I don't know how they are faring over there. It's been close to 2 months now.

Foodqueen:
When you are marrying out of your tribe, pls ensure you know all the customs and traditions before you proceed.

Gra-gra won't solve anything.

If u can, travel back and negotiate.

This is a case of he being financially incapacitated, not a case of not knowing or wanting to disobey the tradition of his in-laws.

INomorethief:

Patient till when? What about my kids?
I don't know how they are faring over there. It's been close to 2 months now.

You have money for legal actions but not to settle them?

Better be patient and peaceful to avoid stories that touch.

Meanwhile, you didn't answer my question of the legality of the marriage.

immortalcrown:
You have money for legal actions but not to settle them?

Better be patient and peaceful to avoid stories that touch.

Meanwhile, you didn't answer my question of the legality of the marriage.

I payed for bride price and church wedding

If you have the means then travel to do the necessary stuff.If you don't now,then just enjoy your singleness.You can't kill yourself.
Your wife and kids are with her family so they are safe.
Ka Chineke mezie okwu.

INomorethief:

Patient till when? What about my kids?
I don't know how they are faring over there. It's been close to 2 months now.

Are u sure they have not planned to marry her off to someone else before that burial..??

. because I don't understand how exploiting u for money suddenly leads to holding your wife and kids...

All these pple seff.....bride price, Dem go nearly cut ur head....after marriage, they will still not let u rest...

Na u kii their papa??

Guys make una dey try marry from decent home ....all these pple wey dey poor and no get shame join will only lead to frustration

Young man, just let them be for now and face your hustle. When your wife is tired, she would know the way to her husband house.

Wait ooo, is your wife not working? I'm just wondering why someone would leave her job or business and remain in her village for good two months.

This is kidnapping.

Na why I hate Nigerians dem too dey take advantage
Bro i fit hit my chest say Na ur wife bring the idea because u too love her
This is bullying

Lance008:
Na why I hate Nigerians dem too dey take advantage
Bro i fit hit my chest say Na ur wife bring the idea because u too love her
This is bullying

Lol.....how person go get wife wey go gang up with and her family to frustrate her husband.

She go beg me before she comes back oooo ..

advanceDNA:


Are u sure they have not planned to marry her off to someone else before that burial..??

. because I don't understand how exploiting u for money suddenly leads to holding your wife and kids...

All these pple seff.....bride price, Dem go nearly cut ur head....after marriage, they will still not let u rest...

Na u kii their papa??

Guys make una dey try marry from decent home ....all these pple wey dey poor and no get shame join will only lead to frustration

Marry from decent home.

Cause no decent family will demand for what you do not have and insult you on top of it.

advanceDNA:


Lol.....how person go get wife wey go gang up with and her family to frustrate her husband.

She go beg me before she comes back oooo ..

Me tire
When I see hostage I think say family member mak be kidnapper hold am
The wife won extort am
How can they hold an adult hostage without been tied mak u reason am
As a sensible gal she go let her family know say dem go run am but he no Dey now
He get expiring date ?

advanceDNA:


Are u sure they have not planned to marry her off to someone else before that burial..??

. because I don't understand how exploiting u for money suddenly leads to holding your wife and kids...

All these pple seff.....bride price, Dem go nearly cut ur head....after marriage, they will still not let u rest...

Na u kii their papa??

Guys make una dey try marry from decent home ....all these pple wey dey poor and no get shame join will only lead to frustration

No single shame
Me think say Na only me Dey see dem
Dem don lost integrity totally
From the write up the wife is jobless
Who go close her office for 2month or no go working place

Lance008:

Me tire
When I see hostage I think say family member mak be kidnapper hold am
The wife won extort am
How can they hold an adult hostage without been tied mak u reason am
As a sensible gal she go let her family know say dem go run am but he no Dey now
He get expiring date ?

Baba....u are right...if she no follow join the setup....she go don comot for there dey go her husband house

But she can leave if she wants to

This one na initial gragra by your in-laws,if them done tire to feed your wife and children them go beg you to come carry them.enjoy your bachelorhood for the meantime

Sorry ooooo

Lance008:

No single shame
Me think say Na only me Dey see dem
Dem don lost integrity totally
From the write up the wife is jobless
Who go close her office for 2month or no go working place

Men need to start making better choices.... A woman will not marry a man that adds nothing to her...
.I don't know why men opt for shallow women, with no ambition, other than to fvck and eat.....they will now have the guts to say "i suffer for that man"..... Like WTF

The children are with their mother na. I will ask them to feed my family for me and continue to flenjour.
You see, It is a hard life and you need some certain level of hard-heartedness to survive.

Na them go personally deliver my wife and kids back to me and if anything happens to the kids, I will hold the woman personally responsible, I do not forgive and I will even change my number. It is a big privilege to call and reach me on the phone and I will yank off that privilege.

CountinBlessins:
Dialogue is the way brother. Don't let emotions get the better fo you.

Travel back ands it with them and dialogue face to face. Mobile phones have ruined a lot of relationships.

Do it the old fashioned way of face to face conversation .

All will be well. Two hot heads can never resolve anything. This isn't about ego or pride. Go there and calmly talk to them trust me they will understand.

Dialogue with unreasonable people? Why did they not dialogue before kidnapping op's children. Infact, I may even open a kidnapping case against the mumu family. If you nor do face like winch, people nor go fear you.

Ion need a Prophet to tell me ur wife is from the Igbo tribe. With this their backward and primitive culture.

My guy guy sponsored his girlfriend thr school till she graduate. now she has graduated torh mai we marry asap, The parents are still charging him millions for bride price saying they have to settle who and who foolish elders in her hometown

Nigga is so confused and can't really back out cuz he has invested so much in her. he's now considering a low key court wedding, nothing more

Offpointng:
Ion need a Prophet to tell me ur wife is from the Igbo tribe. With this their backward and primitive culture.

May not be.

Lets not be hasty in making conclusions

If not for the fact that your kids are also with them, I'd have said you should allow her stay until they push her out because the time is not smiling at all and if you did what was necessary and customarily compulsory during your marriage, then they should go to hell

That's one of the downsides of interethnic marriage. Don't think taking legal action is wise. Can't you wear them out by pretending you don't care? If their daughter stays months with them, they will surely have a rethink.

no custom dey like that,the wife has planned with her brothers to extort him.men are weak this days if na me,I tell the brother and wife to f off.them go beg you later and you no go gree for atlist 6 months but know that woman is a snake

Dogalmighty17:
Tell them to f(u)ck off. If she won't return home let them keep her. I don't know why we still practice such useless and barbaric norms.
You don't have a wife. What you have is an agent of backwardness that will impede your progress in life. If she doesn't want to return home, celebrate and thank God.
If your in-laws get you to bend now, they will use your eye see shege.