Nice2023:
Permit me to say ur wife is an APC member.

A thief in disguise.

In fact,u married a destroyer because a good wife builds her home and not to defraud her home.

have you heard from the other party? Why using such words defraud please?

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

4 kids and you want 700k per month to be enough in PH? Impossible

Your wife is not cheating you. Things are super expensive.

You must be a serious oyel worker or PA to Fubara.

Tjra:

4 kids and you want 700k per month to be enough in PH? Impossible

Your wife is not cheating you. Things are super expensive.

is better they join two month food allocation and go shop in Bush farm. One Peugeot J5 should be full with that.

700k is a lot of money with little value these days tbh ..


Everything boils down to standard of living o..
For example I’m super selective on the kind of food and drinks I take , and I don’t eat anyhow food… to some people it might sound extravagant but to me, I no fit reduce quality of food I eat cos of economy o , I’ll rather suspend other stuff.
. But you guys can still adjust and still have something left at the end of the month..

-. You need to stand your ground , tell her to list out all the stuff needed for the whole month starting from the bottle water to toiletries .. give her the money to buy in bulk … then add just 100k for other miscellaneous.. if she finish am before month end, no add anything until the next month . Tbh you still need to be lenient cos the main purpose of you working is for your family , but you must also save incase of unforeseen circumstances..

Also , you guys can find alternative to some stuff , for sample instead of buying bottle water , while not boil water instead , instead of running generator 247 while not use solar, instead of running errands everytime with the Lexus , why not use bike or keke napep sometime , instead of eating ponmo , meat and fish , why not suspend ponmo ? Truth is everything can be adjusted, don’t wait until misfortune befalls you before doing the needful .



And finally , ensure your wife gets a job too. When she starts making money and contributing , she’ll know what it takes to drop money..

Most people are just talking about the 700k honestly Nigeria don spoil that money is less down 500$ , it holds not much value anymore . moreover not everyone come this life come suffer o .. that u can manage 100k with family of 4 doesn’t mean another person can do that too.

I used to believe 500k monthly is all I needed to live a good life as a single man,

You spend 700k on expenses monthly yet you still live in a rented apartment. Both you and your wife are irresponsible.

ShogunNoName:
Shouldn't this be discussed amongst family members or close friends?

Why bring this here ?

Think before you talk, keep shut if you've got nothing to reasonable to say.

NoToPile:



For context I am female and I understand how it can be trying to give the children the best especially with food to make them healthy. Health is wealth. Children are always prioritized but some of your children are old enough to begin to understand some things.

If it's drinking bottled water that will make them not fall sick then you guys have no choice but to continue. Now I am assuming water supply in your axis is not clean enough to be boiled for drinking because even the costs of bottled water alone for 4 kids in a month is a whole lot of money. Some snacks can be cut off once once, the fresh juices are still okay it's healthy though expensive.

You guys just have to find a way around the costs, you sound strained already.

Talk to her.

For me, na to boil borehole water we been dey do. At some point, she switched to pure water. I didn't trust pure water (she boils the water for the kids). I started travelling to shell water point to get potable water, she go still boil am before giving the children, me I drink it directly because I believe it is clean enough. At some point, it was too stressful for me going to shell. So, she switched to bottle water.

I had to refrain a little to cut down on the frequency of frictions, and, I've been trying to indoctrinate my kids on the needful so it doesn't look like I am the bad parent.

We4all:



It's you who doesn't understand what is playing out. Your wife knows you are comfortable and she is raising her kids accordingly. She claims she cannot give the children boiled water because she can afford to buy bottled water.

I have seen such scenarios play out on so many occasions. My kids cannot eat or drink this....bla...bla...bla...But when life happens and they cannot afford to buy bottled water for the kids, they will start giving them borehole water and nothing will happen.

What I'm trying to say is, people go over the top for their kids and show off because they can afford it and not because they see it as a life's necessity. Peradventure, you have a drop in income and cut down her allowance to 100K monthly, she will learn to adjust.

My exact thoughts.

While N700k is not much in this economy, some families are still surviving on N200k monthly.

If the husband has stated that N700k is all he can afford for upkeep, then the wife should either manage within that N700k or add her money to it.

ruffhandu:

For me, na to boil borehole water we been dey do. At some point, she switched to pure water. I didn't trust pure water (she boils the water for the kids). I started travelling to shell water point to get potable water, she go still boil am before giving the children, me I drink it directly because I believe it is clean enough. At some point, it was too stressful for me going to shell. So, she switched to bottle water.

I had to refrain a little to cut down on the frequency of frictions, and, I've been trying to indoctrinate my kids on the needful so it doesn't look like I am the bad parent.

Bottled water on Tinubu's economy?

Not infants?

It is well.

Tjra:

4 kids and you want 700k per month to be enough in PH? Impossible

Your wife is not cheating you. Things are super expensive.

Are you saying that there are no people earning 400k as whole salary and still living in PH?

We4all:



It's you who doesn't understand what is playing out. Your wife knows you are comfortable and she is raising her kids accordingly. She claims she cannot give the children boiled water because she can afford to buy bottled water.

I have seen such scenarios play out on so many occasions. My kids cannot eat or drink this....bla...bla...bla...But when life happens and they cannot afford to buy bottled water for the kids, they will start giving them borehole water and nothing will happen.

What I'm trying to say is, people go over the top for their kids and show off because they can afford it and not because they see it as a life's necessity. Peradventure, you have a drop in income and cut down her allowance to 100K monthly, she will learn to adjust.

My brother, na dat matter I dey always raise. But I am sure you know how all women react to such talk.

Cowbell521:
She no dey work? Na this kind woman dey ruin man life. You go work and you won't have any achievements. Better wake up. Mugu

I mentioned her occupation bro.

descarado:

In marriage, all partners are equal. Repeat, all partners are equal.
Also, it's "our" house not "my" house.
You will start enjoying your marriage the moment you start using this mindset. Your wife will literally do anything to make your life easier.

Equal abi? So we should also contribute equally abi?

Villa12:
delete this post and go and discuss it with your family biko. Or you want jobless people and people earning minimum wage to teach you how to scatter your family?

Sometimes na from foolish people mouth you go hear some sense

jesmond3945:
you are really not saving for the future

Not true bro

ruffhandu:

For me, na to boil borehole water we been dey do. At some point, she switched to pure water. I didn't trust pure water (she boils the water for the kids). I started travelling to shell water point to get potable water, she go still boil am before giving the children, me I drink it directly because I believe it is clean enough. At some point, it was too stressful for me going to shell. So, she switched to bottle water.

I had to refrain a little to cut down on the frequency of frictions, and, I've been trying to indoctrinate my kids on the needful so it doesn't look like I am the bad parent.

It is well oo, from what you have said your your bore hole water is clean enough to be boiled , bottled water is a whole lot of money in this 700k mata.

Then the bottled water is not necessary at all, kuku boil it. No little baby among your children.


You guys just need to cut off on some things and you will be fine. Pls speak to her everyone is being reasonable with this economy.

ruffhandu:


Equal abi? So we should also contribute equally abi?

Houses wives contribute more, what happens?
Should they be above their husbands?
Or you think or pretend that around you, you have not seen wives who carry the financial burden of their family alone?
When you are ready to enjoy your marriage, you will know.

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

The problem started in the early years of the marriage, you exposed yourself financially. Most women are not good with money and they do not save for the rainy day. They spend this way because they have never had to be self sufficient in their lives. Most times only women who are 1st born daughters of the families have the savings mindset, some do not even care because their livelihood has never depended on them alone.

You definitely exposed yourself financially to your wife in such a way where she wants to exhaust all that is available until you are down bad. Please note that this is not same as gold digging, that's another thing entirely. This is simply financial indiscipline.

The solution is to either fake a job loss, or some financial set back in your business.

Sooner most men will learn that love is different from finance and should not be mixed together.

descarado:

Houses wives contribute more, what happens?
Should they be above their husbands?
Or you think or pretend that around you, you have not seen wives who carry the financial burden of their family alone?
When you are ready to enjoy your marriage, you will know.

The lady in question is not an house wife, she has a thriving business.

And NO, house wives do not contribute more. I will retain this opinion until Jesus comes, I have done both more than 5 years each & I can tell & say categorically that taking care of kids is easier than earning a liveable wage in this harsh economy.

Na you spoil your wife. Period!

As an independent woman, bills for married couples should be 50:50. Oga, I blame you for making her believe every single financial responsibility at home belongs to you. So she has a business? You better talk to her about how she can start bringing in her own income to sort out some bills. It is 2024!!!

Enemyofpeace:
Na you spoil your wife. Period!

Simple & short!

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

How much you dey earn a month?

You are not a man. You need to be giving her nothing less than 7 million per month with big abeg ma help me manage it.

ShogunNoName:
Shouldn't this be discussed amongst family members or close friends?

Why bring this here ?

Nobody forced you to comment. If you have nothing sensible to say, get lost already!

You know the funny thing with this post, The people here may not understand because, how many Nigerian husband gives their wives 700k for upkeep per month. You should know better than this.

Dogalmighty17:
You don't have a wife. What you have is someone using you to cash out. 700k is more than what some men give their wives for a whole year and yet you do that in just a month. Something isn't right.

Your wife may be building somewhere or saving up money to move without you soon. I don't blame her. You are comfortable that's why you can be so wasteful.

Going forward, do not give her anything monthly, rather, let her write down everything she thinks the expense of the month will be. Let her list them down together with thier prices before you give her any money.
Make a visual confirmation of any purchase once it is done.

You need to put your wife on a leash else she may be your ruin. That you can afford things easily now doesn't mean that will always be the case and then you will see the true color of this woman.

Wisdom.

What happens when you can't drop ₦700k for like 3-6 months?

House on fire!