ruffhandu:


Thank you my brother. If I am in charge, I go very low, I no send anybody because nobody feeds me.

Yes, she makes fresh juice every morning for their lunch in school. The kids got tired of the fresh juice that they ignore it and return with it sometimes. Now she buys other drnks like yoghurt, chocolate and milkshake. Said she will be alternating them so they still drink the fresh juice when she gives them.

She complains i am too strict, and sometimes go for cheap things at the expense of quality. Always blackmailing me with the kids' health. That was why I withdrew a bit, before I'll be blamed if my kids fall sick. But, no be naija we dey? They still fall sick once in a while. It was in that regards she stopped them from drinking any other water but Eva.

I know some of these are not neccessary, but I just look away sometimes in order not to be 'too' strict'.

For comparison of standard, it's a NO. She knows nobody dares that in my house. Na she just set the standard, which if allowed, i will definitely lower it. Once in a while we dey clash, but you know how e dey be.

ruffhandu:

For me, na to boil borehole water we been dey do. At some point, she switched to pure water. I didn't trust pure water (she boils the water for the kids). I started travelling to shell water point to get potable water, she go still boil am before giving the children, me I drink it directly because I believe it is clean enough. At some point, it was too stressful for me going to shell. So, she switched to bottle water.

I had to refrain a little to cut down on the frequency of frictions, and, I've been trying to indoctrinate my kids on the needful so it doesn't look like I am the bad parent.

shox:
Make una lie softly on this thread.

ITbomb:
I told my friend, no income is enough.

What gives you the money determined your expenditure and it will never be enough.

For instance, a school teacher will survive on 70k a month because all he needs is a simple shelter, any food, any good school and minimal transport

A Chief executive or top politician will need an opulent shelter (rented or own), good food and drinks for himself and visitors, top school with all amenities and security as well as about 5 vehicles minimum (2 for him - SUV and Hilux, 1 for madam, 1 for house utilities and spare small car for night "meetings". 5m a month is not enough

Evergreen4:
You spend 700k on expenses monthly yet you still live in a rented apartment. Both you and your wife are irresponsible.

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

ruffhandu:


Thank you my brother. If I am in charge, I go very low, I no send anybody because nobody feeds me.

Yes, she makes fresh juice every morning for their lunch in school. The kids got tired of the fresh juice that they ignore it and return with it sometimes. Now she buys other drnks like yoghurt, chocolate and milkshake. Said she will be alternating them so they still drink the fresh juice when she gives them.

She complains i am too strict, and sometimes go for cheap things at the expense of quality. Always blackmailing me with the kids' health. That was why I withdrew a bit, before I'll be blamed if my kids fall sick. But, no be naija we dey? They still fall sick once in a while. It was in that regards she stopped them from drinking any other water but Eva.

I know some of these are not neccessary, but I just look away sometimes in order not to be 'too' strict'.

For comparison of standard, it's a NO. She knows nobody dares that in my house. Na she just set the standard, which if allowed, i will definitely lower it. Once in a while we dey clash, but you know how e dey be.

diamond68:
first question - bro it’s port harcourt not Lagos. Even in lekki a 15 million Naira apartment is over the top talk less of port harcourt

Second question ? It’s poverty mentality that makes you think being a tenant is a bad thing. Once you have lived abroad and your mind has opened you will see the benefits of renting which are

1- you are not responsible for the upkeep and maintenance of the building

2- anytime you get bored of the area you can rent somewhere else after a year

3 - you have more liquid cash for high profit investments because rent is cheap. You have like 400 million Naira sitting in your account that you would have used to build a house. With that much liquid cash you can do all kinds of business

4- if the house burns down it’s not your property

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

diamond68:
first question - bro it’s port harcourt not Lagos. Even in lekki a 15 million Naira apartment is over the top talk less of port harcourt

Second question ? It’s poverty mentality that makes you think being a tenant is a bad thing. Once you have lived abroad and your mind has opened you will see the benefits of renting which are

1- you are not responsible for the upkeep and maintenance of the building

2- anytime you get bored of the area you can rent somewhere else after a year

3 - you have more liquid cash for high profit investments because rent is cheap. You have like 400 million Naira sitting in your account that you would have used to build a house. With that much liquid cash you can do all kinds of business

4- if the house burns down it’s not your property

diamond68:
you obviously haven’t lived abroad because if you have you would realize that the super rich over there prefer to rent than to own and prefer to lease cars than to own it. I was married to a white girl whose dad was always leasing cars and with my stupid African poverty mentality mindset I said why not just buy the car ? You are wasting money leasing these cars. That’s when the man sat me down and explained the virtues of leasing as opposed to owning. And my mind has expanded because of that conversation

diamond68:
for example people waste money buying bags of sand and sinking it into the ground to build house foundation. You are paying for dirt. This is a level of abstract thinking. Rent instead and use all that money to buy gold bars. Any money you get just buy gold bars. If you have collected like 100 gold bars you can move to Florida and buy a small hotel and use some of the gold bars as collateral and just be renting out to tourists. So now your life has evolved because you chose to rent and not be stagnated by sinking all your resources into the to judge life through a poverty lens. Not everyone is interested in property ownership. Some would rather own gold bars than property etc etc

frozen70:


I think you need to talk sense to her, else she may loose it all

700k for monthly upkeep and she can't show you how much she saved from that huge amount per month

You need to check her circle of friends

ShogunNoName:
Shouldn't this be discussed amongst family members or close friends?

Why bring this here ?

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

ruffhandu:


Can you break down that 70k further?

Absuchat:

Some men mumu shaa.
Even if you be Dangote, how can you spend over 22k per day for a family of 4?

antoniobaresi:
First of all you made a big mistake giving her 700k as upkeep in this economy, and unless you're saying you don't know your wife very well, you should have known how she is especially with money and help cut down on many things. 700k is too much to spend in a month and still say it's too small. What if you could only bring 100k, won't your family survive? Cut down drastically and enforce a certain level of management with her. If she is not willing to help and adjust then you have a problem in your hands.

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

Dogalmighty17:
You don't have a wife. What you have is someone using you to cash out. 700k is more than what some men give their wives for a whole year and yet you do that in just a month. Something isn't right.

Your wife may be building somewhere or saving up money to move without you soon. I don't blame her. You are comfortable that's why you can be so wasteful.

Going forward, do not give her anything monthly, rather, let her write down everything she thinks the expense of the month will be. Let her list them down together with thier prices before you give her any money.
Make a visual confirmation of any purchase once it is done.

You need to put your wife on a leash else she may be your ruin. That you can afford things easily now doesn't mean that will always be the case and then you will see the true color of this woman.

Mindlog:


Make it a round figure of one million naira monthly, so she would be happier.

By the way, should you become incapacitated (which is a possibility in life) and no longer able to earn.....reflect, on your wife's capacity to sustain the present lifestyle, when you can't earn.