We4all:



It's you who doesn't understand what is playing out. Your wife knows you are comfortable and she is raising her kids accordingly. She claims she cannot give the children boiled water because she can afford to buy bottled water.

I have seen such scenarios play out on so many occasions. My kids cannot eat or drink this....bla...bla...bla...But when life happens and they cannot afford to buy bottled water for the kids, they will start giving them borehole water and nothing will happen.

What I'm trying to say is, people go over the top for their kids and show off because they can afford it and not because they see it as a life's necessity. Peradventure, you have a drop in income and cut down her allowance to 100K monthly, she will learn to adjust.

She will likely leave him, she had Cashed out enough to move out

Absuchat:
700 what?
That's way too much.

My advice, pretend you lost your job or your business just collapsed and see if she won't survive on 100k.

We've read and have heard stories whereby the woman used the money the husband gives her for upkeeps of the family to buy lands and build on them without his knowledge and letting him almost d1e trying to provide for his family.

Na una follow dey spoil these bleeding gender aswear.

Modified.
Maybe she's nursing the plan of divorce.... reason why she is trying to get all she can from you while the marriage lasts.
No dey surprise say she fit even don buy the house wey u dey pay the 3m rent
If you no wise up and man up, I foresee premium tears loading

Even the Kids need to be Double checked....

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

There is a MASSIVE problem.

ShogunNoName:
Shouldn't this be discussed amongst family members or close friends?

Why bring this here ?

Why the entitled, unsolicited advice? Are you the source of his money?

Please how much is your monthly income?

NoToPile:



For context I am female and I understand how it can be trying to give the children the best especially with food to make them healthy. Health is wealth. Children are always prioritized but some of your children are old enough to begin to understand some things.


If it's drinking bottled water that will make them not fall sick then you guys have no choice but to continue. Now I am assuming water supply in your axis is not clean enough to be boiled for drinking because even the costs of bottled water alone for 4 kids in a month is a whole lot of money. Some snacks can be cut off once once, the fresh juices are still okay it's healthy though expensive.


You guys just have to find a way around the costs, you sound strained already.

Talk to her.

I hope you are married and earn more than 700k in a month.

Cowbell521:
Leave that idiot. Until he loses his job or business and no savings to sustain am. Some people just dense anyhow

The wife will abandon him and move on. She's very likely to leave the kids behind.

givedemwotowoto:


Why the entitled, unsolicited advice? Are you the source of his money?

checkout the unsolicited advice both people without job and those earning minimum wage dishing out? Check it out yourself with your church mind please. Most are pointing towards DIVORCE. Nairaland is not the right place to bring your family matter to. There are family members, pastors or marriage counselors that could help. Not seeking advice from some people that probably envy your life because you're doing fine for yourself and your wife isn't suffering without knowing you in person.

ruffhandu:


In other words, I should be doing the shopping myself? Hmn, you wan shake table o. Na her ministry be that. Yes, for bulk purchase i can do (I do so once in a while like bag of rice), but I no know some things wey i go buy and she go say dem no good.

You be a Real Maga man. You are Afraid to hurt your Wife's feelings...
She will finish you with Billing and Eventually Give you Breakfast by Divorcing you when you hit Your Low.

No wonder those oil workers DIE when they lose their Jobs....
They have Wasted So much Money Setting terribly high living standards they cannot Sustain without an OIL job.

Bro, you better Wake up before it's too late. (High inflow doesn't last forever)
That woman is BUILDING somewhere. You dont know women, They are very Calculative and BRUTAL to the core

YoshihideSuga:


Where person fit buy gold bars for Nigeria?

https://stonexbullion.com/en/blog/best-gold-bars-to-buy/#:~:text=Investors%20should%20always%20look%20towards,and%20Credit%20Suisse%20gold%20bars.

YoshihideSuga:


The aspect of renting works well when one is single rather than being married with four children. But I get your point about renting vs owning a property.

it just depends on what country you are living in, some countries it’s better to own and some countries it’s better to rent. Home ownership in some countries they kill you with taxes and insurance and you can’t give the house to your children or the government takes half of the equity in what is called capital gains tax lol. So to pass your house down to your children you may have to pay the government 100 thousand dollars. You get me ? This is why super rich people just rent

Dogalmighty17:
You don't have a wife. What you have is someone using you to cash out. 700k is more than what some men give their wives for a whole year and yet you do that in just a month. Something isn't right.

Your wife may be building somewhere or saving up money to move without you soon. I don't blame her. You are comfortable that's why you can be so wasteful.

Going forward, do not give her anything monthly, rather, let her write down everything she thinks the expense of the month will be. Let her list them down together with thier prices before you give her any money.
Make a visual confirmation of any purchase once it is done.

You need to put your wife on a leash else she may be your ruin. That you can afford things easily now doesn't mean that will always be the case and then you will see the true color of this woman.

Best comment up to that point!

Amwitty:

All I can say is that some women are the cause of their own woes and troubles. Any woman who can't manage her family's resources and help her husband (the man she claims to love) has failed as a wife and mother. I sympathize with you sir

WOW,
A rare comment from a Lady.
i'm Shocked

TheOmalicha:


Lmao
You people are not in touch with reality or maybe una no get family to feed, that's why you don't know the money involved

Anyway let me just be reading and hope this man is not unfortunate to take advice from people who know how much just breakfast cost

If you are a Single MUM of 4 kids,
Can you spend 700k Monthly for upkeep?

Of course, you can't

But once a man(Husband) is in the Picture....You want to spend much more than That!

That's Wickedness of the highest Order!

OvertheTop:


If you are a Single MUM of 4 kids,
Can you spend 700k Monthly for upkeep?

Of course, you can't

But once a man(Husband) is in the Picture....You want to spend much more than That!

That's Wickedness of the highest Order!

So the children of A rich man should live like the children of a struggling mum? Because they are living like that?

The man is capable, let his children enjoy the good life.
Poor man go call am waste....lmao

Since you love comparing, why not compare his family with that of Dangote? Abi na only poor people you dey use take do example?

I'm a big fan of people living within their means.
If the man can give his kids a good lifestyle, it is not a bad thing.

Btw he never complained of his wife buying bonestraight or worldly frivolous items for herself with the money.

Anyway if e reach your turn, give your children stream water to drink in order to save cost.

TheOmalicha:



So the children of A rich man should live like the children of a struggling mum? Because they are living like that?

The man is capable, let his children enjoy the good life.
Poor man go call am waste....lmao

Since you love comparing, why not compare his family with that of Dangote? Abi na only poor people you dey use take do example?

I'm a big fan of people living within their means.
If the man can give his kids a good lifestyle, it is not a bad thing.

Btw he never complained of his wife buying bonestraight or worldly frivolous items for herself with the money.

Anyway if e reach your turn, give your children stream water to drink in order to save cost.

Madam,
I didn't call you a struggling mum.

I am telling you a Single mum of 4 kids (even if she is not struggling) will Never spend 700k on Upkeep
You women know how to be economical when you are spending from YOUR OWN pocket

BUT becomes very inconsiderate when a MAN is in the Picture. you will want to Exhaust his resources to the extent he won't be able to take care of himself or his personal responsibilities
That is Wickedness of the highest order


2ndly,
from your speeches, you are not a big Fan of one spending Within their means (Na just mouth)
In fact , i think you are capable to telling for your husband to take massive loans to satisfy lavish spending like the Op wife

3rdly,
if you read the Ops complaint, you will see he is becoming financially stained and is seriously worried that if he continues with this spending style, he will be financially ruined..

You and the Op wife are in the same Boat. you will push and Push your Husband not minding if he gets HBP trying to meet up with Outrageous Bills.

eventually, if such a Man dies of HBP,
you will suddenly become single mother with 4 kids....THAT BECOMES VERY ECONOMICAL BECAUSE A MAN IS NO LONGER IN THE PICTURE.
and you are now spending from your Pocket

That is wickedness.

K

OvertheTop:



Madam,
I didn't call you a struggling mum.

I am telling you a Single mum of 4 kids (even if she is not struggling) will Never spend 700k on Upkeep
You women know how to be economical when you are spending from YOUR OWN pocket

BUT becomes very inconsiderate when a MAN is in the Picture. you will want to Exhaust his resources to the extent he won't be able to take care of himself or his personal responsibilities
That is Wickedness of the highest order


2ndly,
from your speeches, you are not a big Fan of one spending Within their means (Na just mouth)
In fact , i think you are capable to telling for your husband to take massive loans to satisfy lavish spending like the Op wife

3rdly,
if you read the Ops complaint, you will see he is becoming financially stained and is seriously worried that if he continues with this spending style, he will be financially ruined..

You and the Op wife are in the same Boat. you will push and Push your Husband not minding if he gets HBP trying to meet up with Outrageous Bills.

eventually, if such a Man dies of HBP,
you will suddenly become single mother with 4 kids....THAT BECOMES VERY ECONOMICAL BECAUSE A MAN IS NO LONGER IN THE PICTURE.
and you are now spending from your Pocket

That is wickedness.

Care4:


I hope you are married and earn more than 700k in a month.

She earns 699k

Does the 700k cover the fees? If not, I'm flabbergasted cos you no even get a car. In my honest opinion, slash the money by 2 cos wetin? A bag of rice is 80k for heaven's sake so the only thing I can see again is fuelling cost so if possible let em all attend the same school. Sending wishes of wisdom and loads of it across

duncan511:

No amount of money you give to woman this period is enough due to cost of things. But the issues is you, you should be reducing some expenses. Management is the key this period, discuss with her that you can't afford such amount this period that you are reducing the money and also drop some expenses like putting on gen every time, go for water dispenser or satchet water, reduce some cost of living, then be giving her money weekly, mentioned your budget don't pass 500,000 a month then save 200,000, divide the 500,000 into 4 weeks then been sending to her weekly. If she is not comfortable with it then let her add the rest, because if your sources of income is gone, you might likely suffer, if you don't plan it well now. As a father or mother you will decide what your children will eat, if you set a standard that you can not afford with time when you don't have your family will look some where to get it, that will make you a failure as father before your children. Mother knows how to control emotions of children, forgetting all the good things you have been doing since. So seat your wife down and discuss with her, she will adjust, because if you give her 1million naira, it would not still be a enough.

I had suggested this but she objected.

perryy:
U be mumu man. How much do u give your mum ? She dey use your money carry small boys.

Lol, my mum is super comfortable bro.

Tealcrestmedia:
In PH that life is highly adaptable is where you're getting financially strained like this. Smh if you're living in GRA, odili road, NAF estate, stadium road, etc there's always an adjoining community where you can find very affordable amenities and even good schools. If you must live like this, consider what might happen if life happens to you.

This your scenario is no different from the oil and gas workers, around 2008 ish or so, living so large until when the oil crash happened and a lot of them were laid off. They couldn't sustain their 2million naira duplexes as at then. Be wise chief.

I dey in the process of securing the future bro. I am a frugal person and trying to make it go round in my house.

Orlu13:


u need to be jailed fr posting this nonsense

Jailed for sharing a life experience? Na you suppose dey jail for this response wey you carry come the thread uninvited.

perryy:


I swear , she dey use your money knack small small boys. That woman doesn't need more than 150k per month stop being a fool

Come on bro. She is not like that. Besides, how much is a bag of rice? One paint of garri na how much. I dey see some reason but I know I just need to contain some things. For my house, 150k no go do sha.

perryy:


Name the company that pays you over a million naira in portharcourt .

Hahahahaha. Rest bro. This your request is laughable. Even ordinary banks, some of them dey pay 4th level officers a little over 1m to take home every month. If you no dey smoke weed, then you may never know any seller around your area. Na adage be dat.

franchasng:
Perfect plan

My kids' future are secured already bro.

fineboynl:
sure. But na suffer head be that na. Just to cook yam and beans for family of 6 is more than 9k. So reason am.
People are suffering now.

I want to be spending as little as possible bro, I no be Dangote.

ShogunNoName:


I get you but respect is reciprocated isn't it ? Did you see her comment to me ?

It's ok, you don't roll in the mud with a mad man because you want to reciprocate a gesture

ruffhandu:


I dey in the process of securing the future bro. I am a frugal person and trying to make it go round in my house.

Aii. Best wishes.

Dennisochampa:
Broz u well so??

U sure say your wife no dey use your money build house for one side??

U also sure say she no get who she dey invest in??

When I was in 9ja...i earned 202k per month and I have 2 kids and we were all very happy...my family never lacked anything talkless of woman when them deh give 700k per month....
Make I believe say you dey lie or dey falsify the figure Sha... Maybe na 70k u be Wan talk.....

When did you leave naija? If you have any friend whose kids attend Bluebells, then ask them how much they spend on rent, then upkeep monthly.

Warrengwoji:
My brother,no mind all dis big eyes girls ooo.700k is over to much for a woman that wants to build a home.she will still have some savings from it self.
If she buys one bag of rice per month = 80k
2. Four painter of beans = 32k
3.5liters of G oil= 15k
4.5liters of palm oil= 15k
5. 6 tubers of yam = 24k
6. 3 bounch plantain = 30k
7. 2 big custard =10k
8. 3 big tin milk 60k
9. 2 big milo= 50k
10 . Sugar 2k
11. Spices = 10k
12. Indomie 3 cartons= 60k
13 . Fueling of car 200k

As you can see,this breakdown is just been extra vagant oooo.

Na 588k be dat already bro. I did not see soup items, Fish/meat (we buy whole chickens, quater goat, scumbia fish(s) and dry catfish).
You did not also include toiletries, etc

Henry1989:
I don't understand the way you guys are going ooo.
So what about those of us that do not earn up to half of 700k in a month?
What should we do oo?
What should be our lot now oo?
Chaaaaaaiiiii.
This life no balance sha.

You know quite alright, as well as I do, that if my net salary per month is 300k, there is no way I will live in a house worth more that 600k pa. We go still figure something. Perhaps my kids won't look as appealing and fresh as they do now. Everything get level and stage. Someday you will earn way more than 700k per month and your lifestyle would change accordingly. By then you won't make this kind of comment anymore, and perhaps you will admonish people in that status.