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How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? - Romance - Nairaland

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How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by iLegendd(m): 8:14am On Jul 08
So Upset with These People

My married cousin, with 4 kids, has been to my house at least 10 times.

He does sleep over for 2-7 days. Back then, food wasn't this expensive. Also, where I stay is the most expensive place in Nigeria when it comes to food — even Abuja can't compare.

He came last time and spent 2 weeks with a girl. My expenses went up even though they contributed immensely in the kitchen department. They were cool and fun.

She's homely, a chef and she can cook delicious meals, clean, sweep, etc. I appreciate her for that, but I have lost my freedom. I can't walk around the house nákéd as I used to because of their presence.

This month, July, after the girl was done with her dad's burial, my cousin messaged me that he'd like to come over with her to spend some days.

I agreed because I don't want to seem like a bad cousin. I later messaged him to ask how many days he wants to spend. He said he'll get back to me. He got back and said 4-5 days.

They came on the 2nd of July, but they haven't left yet. It's now 7 days and I'm so anxious for them to go. Two Cyway water has finished. Food that serves me doesn't anymore.

Yes, they contribute, but I'm no longer enjoying it. I think I'm used to being alone. My life is more fun when I'm alone my myself.

I don't want siblings, cousins, aunts, parents, etc. around me. I love them, but I only want to spend 1-2 days max with people. Even if I'm fxcking you, staying too long around me is boring.

After they've left, when next they want to come, I'll tell him womanizing is expensive. He spends a minimum of 70-100k whenever they come on JUST food. 90% of people's income over here goes into feeding. It's way too expensive here. This is why everyone must embrace agriculture.

I wonder if his children are feeding well. So, I want to be a good cousin next time by telling him to focus more on the responsibilities he brought into this world. Married men too like pxssies.

So, I'm really thinking of how to say it to avoid offending him and creating hatred. Maybe, next time, I should tell him I can only spare two night max.

Their presence takes away my freedom and I'm constantly buying things I never wanted to buy.

The money is not the big issue, but the money doesn't have value and I have zero freedom. Also, when they go, any lifestyle of mine they don't like, they might use it to gossip. I don't like giving people the privilege of having anything to gossip about me.

Imagine I'm one of those people that eat fried rice while drinking garri. Surely, they'll laugh and gossip about it behind me. Imagine if my toilet isn't clean. They'll gossip about it and call me dirty.

I really want to stop this so that his wife will have her husband back. It's as if I'm encouraging this behavior by accommodating them. If any of them dies here, police will arrest me.

So, if you're in my shoe, what will you do?

I  can't believe someone as blunt as me can't speak because of fear of being hated by a family member.


So, what's the best way to handle it? I already have what to do, but I want to hear yours.

17 Likes 4 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by immortalcrown(m): 8:19am On Jul 08
Moral decadence!

Your married cousin brings his side chick to your house and you allow it, claiming that you don't want to be seen as a bad person.

If another person harbours your son-in-law or or your brother-in-law with a side chick, will you praise the person? Answer this question.

Where is the wife of this your cousin? Is she dead or separated from your cousin? If not, why do you support infidelity against her? Will you be happy if someone supports the husband of your daughter or the husband of your sister to behave like this your cousin?

What standard of living does this your cousin give his 4 kids? Would you be happy if you learn that your father left you and your mother and spent weeks with another woman?

You now pretend to care about his wife and his children because he and his side chick make you uncomfortable in your house, not because you condemn his infidelity.
iLegendd:
So Upset with These People

My married cousin, with 4 kids, has been to my house at least 10 times.

He does sleep over for 2-7 days. Back then, food wasn't this expensive. Also, where I stay is the most expensive place in Nigeria when it comes to food — even Abuja can't compare.

He came last time and spent 2 weeks with a girl. My expenses went up even though they contributed immensely in the kitchen department. They were cool and fun.

She's homely, a chef and she can cook delicious meals, clean, sweep, etc. I appreciate her for that, but I have lost my freedom. I can't walk around the house nákéd as I used to because of their presence.

This month, July, after the girl was done with her dad's burial, my cousin messaged me that he'd like to come over with her to spend some days.

I agreed because I don't want to seem like a bad cousin. I later messaged him to ask how many days he wants to spend. He said he'll get back to me. He got back and said 4-5 days.

They came on the 2nd of July, but they haven't left yet. It's now 7 days and I'm so anxious for them to go. Two Cyway water has finished. Food that serves me doesn't anymore.

Yes, they contribute, but I'm no longer enjoying it. I think I'm used to being alone. My life is more fun when I'm alone my myself.

I don't want siblings, cousins, aunts, parents, etc. around me. I love them, but I only want to spend 1-2 days max with people. Even if I'm fxcking you, staying too long around me is boring.

After they've left, when next they want to come, I'll tell him womanizing is expensive. He spends a minimum of 70-100k whenever they come on JUST food. 90% of people's income over here goes into feeding. It's way too expensive here. This is why everyone must embrace agriculture.

I wonder if his children are feeding well. So, I want to be a good cousin next time by telling him to focus more on the responsibilities he brought into this world. Married men too like pxssies.

So, I'm really thinking of how to say it to avoid offending him and creating hatred. Maybe, next time, I should tell him I can only spare two night max.

Their presence takes away my freedom and I'm constantly buying things I never wanted to buy.

The money is not the big issue, but the money doesn't have value and I have zero freedom. Also, when they go, any lifestyle of mine they don't like, they might use it to gossip. I don't like giving people the privilege of having anything to gossip about me.

Imagine I'm one of those people that eat fried rice while drinking garri. Surely, they'll laugh and gossip about it behind me. Imagine if my toilet isn't clean. They'll gossip about it and call me dirty.

I really want to stop this so that his wife will have her husband back. It's as if I'm encouraging this behavior by accommodating them. If any of them dies here, police will arrest me.

So, if you're in my shoe, what will you do?

I can't believe someone as blunt as me can't speak because of fear of being hated by a family member.

So, what's the best way to handle it? I already have what to do, but I want to hear yours.

130 Likes 13 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by ebubenmuo(f): 8:24am On Jul 08
Hit the nail on the head or hit the hammer on the nail whichever way you like it.

Just invite the wife and her kids over and surprise your cousin when he comes with his babe, his kids will embrace and call him daddy, he would be disappointed with you but you're only helping his WIFE reasons being that HIV no dey show for face and am pretty sure his girlfriend is also fucking another gbola and that gbola is digging another p***y and the circle goes on.

Help his wife NOW

90 Likes 5 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by immortalcrown(m): 8:44am On Jul 08
ebubenmuo:
Hit the nail on the head or hit the hammer on the nail whichever way you like it.

Just invite the wife and her kids over and surprise your cousin when he comes with his babe, his kids will embrace and call him daddy, he would be disappointed with you but you're only helping his WIFE reasons being that HIV no dey show for face and am pretty sure his girlfriend is also fucking another gbola and that gbola is digging another p***y and the circle goes on.

Help his wife NOW
The wicked soul does not care about the cousin's home. Surely, he won't take your advice because he supports the cousin's infidelity.

46 Likes 5 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by obiekunie01: 8:55am On Jul 08
you are supporting fornication!

committing sin from another person's sin!

ths is just like exposing yourself to cancer by inhaling another person's cigarette smoke!

you are such a huge fool!

37 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by sholikay(m): 9:08am On Jul 08
Boss ilegendd..I think from day one,you should have restricted him from making use of your apartment for such activity.. knowing how comfortable your apartment is,will always prompt them to come back for more atrocities of theirs.....
You have to use wisdom and discard them at this point..since you have permitted them twice,they will surely come another time..
The money they spend with you is not the issue for them,but the comfort, security they get from there is what is bringing them back...
I am sure the lady would be the one initiating their coming back to their house...

Boss ilegendd,your apartment too will be very very fine ooo...😀😀

9 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by youngsum(m): 9:32am On Jul 08
iLegendd:


So, what's the best way to handle it? I already have what to do, but I want to hear yours.
stop being too generous start acting stingy

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Omuuvwie(m): 10:34am On Jul 08
You are not helping your cousin very well, with you knowing fully well that he his married and you still went ahead to accommodate him with his mistress, is a bad one from you.

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Sonnobax15(m): 10:44am On Jul 08
lipsrsealed
Op, you're simply an accomplice to your married and cheating cousin.....

Anyways,na you wear the shoe and it's all up to you to do the needful........

If you can't man-up and tell him to fvck off with the socalled side chick,then you just to wait there until they're prepared to leave..

6 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Klinxmanz(m): 10:50am On Jul 08
U already have an exhibit to stop the exhibition of ur cousin whose prospect has been to cheat on his wife, which if the reserve was the case to u won't be a satisfying impression if ur wife does this, now this is interesting, what if his wife is the character in this act, i can still say that ilegendd would want to be a good family member 4 marriage matter. I can't believe is boss saying this shit and promoting unfaithfulness while trying to be a good cousin, Wtf!

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Mikespecialone(m): 11:08am On Jul 08
ebubenmuo:
Hit the nail on the head or hit the hammer on the nail whichever way you like it.

Just invite the wife and her kids over and surprise your cousin when he comes with his babe, his kids will embrace and call him daddy, he would be disappointed with you but you're only helping his WIFE reasons being that HIV no dey show for face and am pretty sure his girlfriend is also fucking another gbola and that gbola is digging another p***y and the circle goes on.

Help his wife NOW


Honestly, I’ve been laughing since reading this comment 😄😄😄😄😄😄

6 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by ebubenmuo(f): 11:24am On Jul 08
Mikespecialone:



Honestly, I’ve been laughing since reading this comment 😄😄😄😄😄😄


But na true I talk na
These days gbola and pussy no dey private again.
Anywhere wey belle face the two dey knack steadily

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by AfeezShomorin(m): 11:31am On Jul 08
iLegendd:


So, what's the best way to handle it? I already have what to do, but I want to hear yours.

Invite your girlfriend to come so that you guys can have a føursome grin

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Meerahbel: 11:33am On Jul 08
grin
Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Joy2dworldxyz: 11:33am On Jul 08
Ok
Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by FalseProphet1(m): 11:33am On Jul 08
Come to my spiritual center with a tangible seed and I'll drive him out permanently from your house.

This I have seen.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by GreenxGreen: 11:34am On Jul 08
grin
Even though Dem dey Nack for your house .....

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by sixthsensekids(m): 11:35am On Jul 08
iLegendd:


So, what's the best way to handle it? I already have what to do, but I want to hear yours.

Please shut up, you don't know how to keep a secret.
Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Kobicove(m): 11:35am On Jul 08
So you have allowed him turn your crib into a love nest for illicit sex? undecided

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by cjudy(m): 11:35am On Jul 08
Your place is hell fire.

Get ready to bear the consequences since you don’t know what to do

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by GreyWolf01: 11:36am On Jul 08
Next time he calls that he wants to visit, tell him your babe staying over.


Do this consistently.

14 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Enoch07: 11:37am On Jul 08
You, your cousin and his side chick all of una dey mad. Y'all are complicit, especially you for allowing such rubbish. If your cousin neva marry e for be another case, but this!!!! Nah

6 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by BareFacedLies(m): 11:37am On Jul 08
Why you come dey expose my secret for Nairaland?

My God will judge you angry

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Hemanwel(m): 11:37am On Jul 08
OP, your concern isn't about the sin of adultery your cousin is committing, but your freedom depravity. Do you know that if you know the right thing to do but you don't do it, it is a sin? James 4:17. It will be a good or right thing to tell this cousin of yours of the dangers of the sin he's committing. Shalom!

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Authoreety: 11:38am On Jul 08
Just tell him your girlfriend now lives with you since you want to start making plans for marriage... Cos you want to be sure of the kinda woman you want to marry...

10 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by Lazy9jaYouth: 11:38am On Jul 08
G
Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by oluwaseyi0: 11:39am On Jul 08
Simply tell him you will be having a visitor

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by omoredia: 11:39am On Jul 08
Your house na amusement park?

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by saasala(m): 11:39am On Jul 08
Which kind story be this nitori olorun.

This is the height of madness.

@iLegendd, I'll tell you what I told a friend who said he wanted to stay for one month and ended up staying a year. So this is what I did in other not to offend anyone.

I said my Dad (In your case you can use your mum, aunt, or someone else) called me and said he had a dream that someone I was harboring in my house died and I was sentenced to life in prison, and that my Dad's dream always come to pass.

My Dad therefore warned that whoever I am harboring should get out of my out with immediate effect and henceforth I should not allow anyone spend a night in my house again.

If he wants to argue, tell him you cannot go against your Dad (Or whoever the furk you are using in this case). If he thinks you are lying, that is his own cup of tea. If he wants to bargain that he can bring the girl and not sleep over, tell him NO, your Dad has warned you and you are scared for your life.

5 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by maxiuc(m): 11:39am On Jul 08
grin

Na normal thing

Married cousins sees our place as their chalets especially when they know you ain't married

Guy I fit come your place oh my woman dey oooooh and she knows that you are married and knows your wife she fit cast you join grin grin cheesy

Baba will put back his swords

1 Like

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by nairaman66(m): 11:40am On Jul 08
You talk too much. Just tell him NO next time and save us this epistle. I don’t understand why you had to use this incident to force your narrative about everyone going into agriculture- This is a sick mentality that you need to dump!

If you are so serious about agriculture, you should start a farming and stop fuming here! Have you visited your state’s agricultural ministry? Go there to rant and not here!

You are moreover a selfish person, how can everyone go into agriculture, what happens to other sectors of the economy? You and others who follow such ideology should stop this nonsense and focus on your personal contributions to agriculture. Nonsense!

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop Them From Doing This? by 99thEnemy(m): 11:40am On Jul 08
If you like don’t put an end to that rubbish in your house.

They can do whatever they want elsewhere but not your house.

1 Like

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