Mynd44:
I keep saying it, as a woman, if your partner takes drugs and/or is involved in sports betting, you are not yet serious about your life..

No, I won't insult your husband because he has showed his hands as to what he wants to be. It is you OP that should protect your life and children.

You want to raise your kids in a home where the head is a chronic drugs user and physically and orally violent. What this will do is to shape your son to think it is normal, it will make your daughter that us how men show love and she will seek a man like him in a partner.

May Obatala be with you

What happened to sport betting? Did u create any job?
Oh just because u have 10mb , doesn't mean u talk anyhow

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]

When he eventually infects you with an incurable disease that will end his life and yours, leaving your kids orphans, I hope you'll be able to forgive yourself.
Keep making excuses for a man who isn't ready to save himself.
You can pray for and love him from a distance.
Give him space while he fights his battle. You can't help him.

Tokskob2008:

I want to believe you are just being sarcastic with this advise

That's the best advise I have seen from all comments. Continue to stay as we are staying on the mandate of Tinubu

Colos is very addictive, hardly he can stop taking it.why not talk to any elder members if his family,let them take him to rehab!

"My husband is a good man, he cares for me and the kids"... I understand the need to marry the positive and negative in any narrative, it can be quite potent as it aims to strike a balanced perspective.

However, in your case, I fail to understand how your husband actually cares for you and your kids with these mountain of challenges. Nonetheless, I implore you to please try not to lose yourself while trying to change him.

You are the responsible adult now, and while waiting for him to change, it's crucial that you focus on developing yourself to genuinely care for yourself and the kids.

Hopefully you will get the results that you seek in the nearest future but for now, prioritize yourself and the children.

Cheers

Just leave this marriage forget it he will not change he remain like that forever move on the drug and cheating part will hurt u and it children continuously,just leave the relationship

If you be my sister ehhh.. all the training your family gave to you and you had to settle for nonsense...... Chei

On him smoking, stop complaining and if you have money, help him buy the stuff he smokes. Keep reminding him to smoke whenever you notice he has not smoked. Choke him with what he loves doing until he's confused on your stands and eventually gets tired of the act.
On him cheating is a more serious issue and my advice to you is to advise him to always wear his condoms for your sake and the children because you say he loves you.
Any man who hits his partner has no regard for such partner. Avoid the things you do that makes him hit you at all cost.
Goodluck

Wait till he infect you with HiV or stab you to death.

Mynd44:
I keep saying it, as a woman, if your partner takes drugs and/or is involved in sports betting, you are not yet serious about your life..

No, I won't insult your husband because he has showed his hands as to what he wants to be. It is you OP that should protect your life and children.

You want to raise your kids in a home where the head is a chronic drugs user and physically and orally violent. What this will do is to shape your son to think it is normal, it will make your daughter that us how men show love and she will seek a man like him in a partner.

May Obatala be with you

What's wrong with sports betting?

Hmm..a good man won't beat his wife; a caring man who loves his wife and kids won't cheat on his wife. He's none of those attributes. Your husband is not responsible...the ball is in your court...

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]

It's Obvious you didn't know him too well before marrying him, if I may ask how long did you court before getting married?

Kobojunkiee:
You think cheating on him is the only solution in this situation that is why I asked if you are even a human being at all.

She came here for solution. If you have one, spill it out and stop asking unrelated questions. You can see she is confused, frustrated and fed up yet all you could render is insult-like questions.

This sounds like someone I know in Magboro. Does his name start with A and surname with A too?
My advice is to just pray that God preserves him at his turning point.
This is because one day, what he does will put him in great danger and might almost take his life. Just pray that he survives it. That would be his turning point and after then you guys will be fine. . Only God can do this. [quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]

He uses drugs and beats you up? Madam, you and your kids are not safe, find away and stay far away from that man until he sort himself out. "na person wey dey alive dey marry"

AntiChristian:
Better leave with your kids before he kills you all after taking Colo!

Some women love bad guys! I mean guys on Colo that has no regard for them and beats them.

To them "he's a good man"!

No go report to the authorities before he kills you!

I don't have a RIP to offer when you die!

I don't get Alfa
I thought Islam allows one to beat his wife
He's also allowed to marry another, even a 10 year old so what's your issue with what's on ground
The man seems like a good Muslim IMO

DiamondJLove:
u are a good wife,keep making excuses for him.beating is a sign of love,enjoy it dear.

Who knack u hammer 🔨 4 head

Augustine2244:

Why not divorce him?
Since you know he's chronically womanising.
Or are you waiting till the day he infects you with HPV a virus that causes cervical cancer in women and penis cancer in men; or HIV or any of these other terribly nasty STDS?
Madam,you have tried your best and since he refused to change, divorce him.
You should have noticed negative traits in him before you married him.

Good luck.

And you'll come and marry her.

I know a man who can help you and he can do all things, you have to learn how to pray and cry to God. Try praying by 3am for 7days with fasting and make use of psalm 51,28,126&127. God will surely help you Amen.

Pls be patient and be calm,don't quarell or fight him,talk to him politely.I am a man and most men don't like being challenged for any reason,so spend more time with him,try to know why he is taking drugs, talk things out,then watch and pray believing God for speedy answers

If you've got the resources, change location. Move to another country, where both of you are likely to start all over again. His thinking would change and he would seriously engaged and occupied by a new circumstance in a new environment totally different from where he's coming from. Change of location would impact his change of thinking/orientation.

Diamond1605:


Maybe you should come and stay with him and see what I’m talking about

For some guys, it is fun cheating.
If that is not the case with your husband, someone, probably your friend, has convinced him that you are not what he think you are. Good men sometimes find it difficult to talk to their spouses about a perceived truth they learn about them because denial and emotional blackmail might be all they will receive. So they often go to the extreme of doing things they won't do ordinarily hoping their spouse would come out plain and confess. But that rarely happens. So they loose themselves in the new found illicit act when it lingers and becomes a habit.

Diamond1605:

No I’m not, I just don’t how to cheat

And besides how can you allow two men to sleep with you at the same time

That is totally irritating and unacceptable. There are women who doesn’t cheat on your husband.

U re good woman ...
Am on kneel begging u, with time he will change ...
Pls nd pls don't leave him ooo.. be in good talking time with him

Sorry for your loss Dear

Difrent:


It's Obvious you didn't know him too well before marrying him, if I may ask how long did you court before getting married?

Honestly, this questions are needless. She needs solution to her predicament now. She wants to know how to manage and make her cross lighter.

After reading the second paragraph , I went back to read the first two lines, that’s when I realized OP is not serious.


You reiterated that your husband is a good man.

Please what are the qualities of a bad man?

When you see black and keep calling it white the problem is WITHIN YOU

Diamond1605:


Maybe you should come and stay with him and see what I’m talking about

he beat you and you still address him as a good man who takes care of his kids,? I don't know what to call you. you are just senseless,

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]

I believe there is something you are not telling us. Are you saying you did not notice all these signs before you marry or you choose to ignore it.

Sometimes men that stumble on money after they marry want to explore what they couldn't do when they were broke.

Until he is satisfied before he stop.

Your story doesn't add up madam, Except you're straining him with responsibilities he cannot handle, or Maybe you did something or are doing something he is yet to get over or you're a manipulative individual like my ex I don't see why a man's toxic traits are popping up and you're saying he is a good man. Does your husband think you're a good woman too?, does he make enough money to cater for the needs of his family comfortably? Are you in the school of thought of women who believe their husbands adopted them at marriage and should be working class dependents not minding if he can meet up or not? What exactly does the Nigga complain of about you? Abeg you guys should just carry out a thorough risk assessment individually and as a team and know what is troubling you two coz na two of una get problems then decide on the next step

If you've got the resources, change location for all of you including. Move him and your children to another country, where both of you are likely to start all over again. His thinking would change and he would seriously engaged and occupied by a new circumstance in a new environment totally different from where he's coming from. Change of location would impact his change of thinking/orientation.

Women master deceptors and excellent liars, they never tell you the bad ones they did to their husband but only their husbands bad behavior towards them you don nag craze enter ur husband head pushing him into drugs, living with Gods faulty creation called women na military training I swear, men Don see hell in this life in the next life we would live in a different world