Diamond1605:

No I’m not, I just don’t how to cheat

And besides how can you allow two men to sleep with you at the same time

That is totally irritating and unacceptable. There are women who doesn’t cheat on your husband.

I can see you're doubling down on the cheating narrative, even when she has stylishly told you it's not what she meant.

Fake made up story. You think it's everyone that won't check your profile first.

Augustine2244:

Why not divorce him?
Since you know he's chronically womanising.
Or are you waiting till the day he infects you with HPV a virus that causes cervical cancer in women and penis cancer in men; or HIV or any of these other terribly nasty STDS?
Madam,you have tried your best and since he refused to change, divorce him.
You should have noticed negative traits in him before you married him.
This is exactly why courtship is very important for intending couples, because it gives ample opportunity to study your partner well and know the type of person he or she is.
No matter how long the mask is worn,it must drop to reveal the real person.
Moreover no man who genuinely loves his wife will cheat on her, not with one woman but multiple women.
And you say he loves you?
Lol!
Madam, stop making EXCUSES for your husband and take your life back.
This habit of making excuses in women is exactly why many of them are often beaten to death or seriously maimed in abusive marriages and relationships.
It's only a tree that is informed of its imminent death and it still remains standing.
Madam, you are not a tree.
Good luck.

God hates divorce

Kobojunkiee:
You think cheating on him is the only solution in this situation that is why I asked if you are even a human being at all.

It's a made up story to deride married faithful women. That's why cheating was her first thought of reply to your question, and why she's doubling down on the narrative.

CorrectionFLuid:
■ It's a made up story to deride married faithful women

Deride married faithful women in what manner abeg? Do you mean to present such women as imbeciles?

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]



I had a cousin. Sister your mindset. They married her off at 21 and she went to live with her husband in Abuja. Hi useless father did it for the money

She kept enduring for 7 months until one day the man bitter Black and Blue still her neighbor's broke the door and saved her. She never went back

She left empty handed same day. She just disappeared into thim air and reappeared in Lagos that she is done with marriage and her father.

Her senior brother bought her to my house in Lagos and we fight for divorce. She came with injuries including bleeding

She's is 24 now. Lasu student. So beautiful and happy but has refused to hear the words marriage or relationship


List anyone who hits you doesn't lives but wants to damage you

Just sit tight And see

Kobojunkiee:
Deride married faithful women in what manner abeg? Do you mean to present such women as imbeciles?

Set them up for mockery.

Diamond1605:

No I’m not, I just don’t how to cheat

And besides how can you allow two men to sleep with you at the same time

That is totally irritating and unacceptable. There are women who doesn’t cheat on your husband.

this comment you made got me. I just want to say thank you for what you stand for and all you believe in. Why not get him counselling sessions

CorrectionFLuid:
■ Set them up for mockery.

I don't know of any married faithful woman but anyone in a similar situation as described by OP there makes a mockery of her very person by remaining in such a union. No point blaming strangers for pointing the obvious out.

DiamondJLove:
u are a good wife,keep making excuses for him.beating is a sign of love,enjoy it dear.

Lol at enjoy beating as a sign of love, Hahaha 🤣, Are you for real,

Also tell us you what you are doing wrong too? I don't believe one sided story to attract sympathy.

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]
Even if my ways are not pure, I won't let it get to the notice of my nuclear family. Engaging in all these vices despite you catching him in them all is a clear definition of see finish.

All your efforts at reconciling him to the right path will be discounted because he has no fear for you in his heart anymore. Only a superior force can reset him. Something like a court case, misfortune or his genuine will to change. Other than that, it's going to be a grappling battle.

Your priority at this point is to protect yourself from assault, abuse, STDs and bankruptcy to avoid untold sorrow. You can do that by ensuring your physical self and finances are protected even if it means separating.

At the end, we all came to this world individually and are each accountable for our actions.

@ Diamond1605

Babe. Bounce. Go away with your kids until he is ready to value and appreciate you. STDs and your metal health for raising your kids properly is at stake here.

One of the problems you have is that you started your first paragraph by saying your husband " is a good man"...you also mentioned it somewhere in-between..I know you are trying your best to still hang on to his good side and not seem like you are throwing out the bus completely l, but the man needs help. There is no in-between. It's either one is good or bad ..no matter how small the charges may be. Pls involve your family too. There is not nothing and no one that wants the best for you more than your family. Don't hide it anything you have taking a lot. It seems like you still want the man to be fine so all hands must be on deck al round for that to happen ...good luck

There is nothing you can do than to accept your fate.

Some things are destined to happen maybe as a result of our past misdeed or something, maybe as a karma of some sort from the sins of our parents or family lineage.


If you have tried your best and truly know you have done your best and nothing changed, then you may need to consider separation or outright divorce after consulting your family and Church elders.


I say this because from what you narrated, his case is complicated. He gets high on Colos, he beats you, he cheats with multiple women without remorse or hiding it to show some respect to you his wife. These are very daunting acts of irresponsibility.



I am not trying to form a Saint but I am married with kids, and I can't imagine doing all these, worst is raising my own hand to beat my wife, God forbid evil to talk of smoking Colos join haba haba....I even see taking alcohol as something unusual to talk of smoking and not just ordinary cegar but Colos a known hard drug, na WA oh.


If he truly does all these things, you have two options like I said earlier; live with it and face your kids or separate/divorce, there is no other option because he can't change at this time, sadly.


My last advice, refocus your life goals, let it be channeled towards improving your finance, you need massive savings, you need to make it clear to him that no more sex to protect yourself from STDs and STIs and this can only work via separation to avoid physical assault from him. Your priority now should be your finances, your health, and your kids.

And I am sorry to tell you that your husband is not a good man. What do you think are the qualities of a good man?

A man beats his wife, cheats on her without respect, takes hard drug and you still claim he is a good man, you are hallucinating madam.

Your case is very real. You are not the only one going through this type of marriage. Only a few persons can understand what is involved.
You have tried, but it is still not working.
My advice is for you to refocus. You need to bring some changes to your home. If you are not working before, try to find some work that will be taking you away from the house . If you are working, try to involve in new activities that will take away from the house most times like join a choir, start learning a new skill. Don't be focusing much on him or being available to him every time.
When you refocus, he will be the one to call for dialogue.

Roger3D:
God hates divorce

Is OP an Israelite since it is the God of Israel who said that and He never mentioned that Nigerians were part of His plan or His people?

Diamond1605:


I never for once thought of cheating on my husband. Something I did not do when I was single, why will I want to do it now?

You seem a good woman, I hope and pray this goodness doesn't lead you to your untimely grave with that beating.

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]Having read your story, I want you to take a look at yourself and think of the things you are doing wrong that your husband complained about but you said "na so I be , I cannot change"
I said so because in your story you are the hero, with no fault at all, while your husband is the villain with all the faults.Have you looked at your romantic life with your husband,what about your sexual life? What about your dressing? Neatness habit, conversation, manner of approach, intensity of your voice when you are having a discussion, relationship with his friends and family etc
There are so numerous things you are not doing that made your husband to change from what you used to know ( that is if he was not like that before you married him ) .

Kobojunkiee:
Is OP an Israelite since it is the God of Israel who said that and He never mentioned that Nigerians were part of His plan or His people?

Wasn't it Jesus Christ who outlawed divorce?I thought Moses told the isrealities they could divorce their wives. Isn't Jesus supposed to be you guys God?

Kobojunkiee:
You think cheating on him is the only solution in this situation that is why I asked if you are even a human being at all.

The lady no get work and she's not earning much.

It's obvious because of her total dependence on the man.

Women of low values put with different excuses to stay with a cheating man.

She's stuck.

Roger3D:
Wasn't it Jesus Christ who outlawed divorce?I thought Moses told the isrealities they could divorce their wives. Isn't Jesus supposed to be you guys God?

None of what you claim took place!

You thinks one can discover everything during courtship, I don't believe it. Its like you've not met a chronic pretender. You won't even see green light talkless of red light (lol), naa white light you go dey see till wedding night.

Augustine2244:

Why not divorce him?
Since you know he's chronically womanising.
Or are you waiting till the day he infects you with HPV a virus that causes cervical cancer in women and penis cancer in men; or HIV or any of these other terribly nasty STDS?
Madam,you have tried your best and since he refused to change, divorce him.
You should have noticed negative traits in him before you married him.
This is exactly why courtship is very important for intending couples, because it gives ample opportunity to study your partner well and know the type of person he or she is.
No matter how long the mask is worn,it must drop to reveal the real person.
Moreover no man who genuinely loves his wife will cheat on her, not with one woman but multiple women.
And you say he loves you?
Lol!
Madam, stop making EXCUSES for your husband and take your life back.
This habit of making excuses in women is exactly why many of them are often beaten to death or seriously maimed in abusive marriages and relationships.
It's only a tree that is informed of its imminent death and it still remains standing.
Madam, you are not a tree.
Good luck.

Kobojunkiee:
None of what you claim took place!

Kein wahala

Roger3D:
God hates divorce

But do you think God will love his daughter to be killed by her husband?
Wisdom is profitable to direct.
A separation is usually better in situations like this

Family members can’t stop him from cheating or endangering this woman’s mental health

Mryacks:
One of the problems you have is that you started your first paragraph by saying your husband " is a good man"...you also mentioned it somewhere in-between..I know you are trying your best to still hang on to his good side and not seem like you are throwing out the bus completely l, but the man needs help. There is no in-between. It's either one is good or bad ..no matter how small the charges may be. Pls involve your family too. There is not nothing and no one that wants the best for you more than your family. Don't hide it anything you have taking a lot. It seems like you still want the man to be fine so all hands must be on deck al round for that to happen ...good luck

Belurved1:
You thinks one can discover everything during courtship, I don't believe it. Its like you've not met a chronic pretender. You won't even see green light talkless of red light (lol).

Lol! Wahala! That means only God can help us in choosing life partners.

Roger3D:
Kein wahala

Yep, if you read the book well, you go see say wetin you been think no be wetin dey for the book at all. God of Israel never said He welcomes Nigerians; He swore that His only people are descendants of Jacob.

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]

If you think there’s an iota of good in the man you painted above, then you need help.

Since you want to make it work, see the name calling, belittling and beatings as a form of bdsm that way you’ll enjoy it as for the cheating don’t they say that all men are polygamous in nature. Wish many more years of all you painted above.

But if you love yourself and your children better get house of that house.

Belurved1:
You thinks one can discover everything during courtship, I don't believe it. Its like you've not met a chronic pretender. You won't even see green light talkless of red light (lol), naa white light you go dey see till wedding night.

All the more reason to run, not sit back to endure foolishness!

Belurved1:
You thinks one can discover everything during courtship, I don't believe it. It’s like you've not met a chronic pretender. You won't even see green light talkless of red light (lol), naa white light you go dey see till wedding night.

Then seek for separation and if catholic annulment. Any form of false representation is a good ground.

Kobojunkiee:

I don't know of any married faithful woman but anyone in a similar situation as described by OP there makes a mockery of her very person by remaining in such a union. No point blaming strangers for pointing the obvious out.

Ok