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One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by mrkings84(m): 11:30am On Aug 14
Such question is no longer necessary in this Timubulous times, every hand needs to be on deck if the family must survive.

3 Likes

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Tightpussy2024(f): 11:34am On Aug 14
guobe:
It's important for couples to have an agreement on some vital issues before getting married and not just assume so that eventually when they get married, there will be no acrimony.

There are several vital questions to be asked by the ladies but one of the most vital questions a lady should ask the man she is getting married to is will you allow me to work and earn for myself after we get married?

His response will make you as the lady to know his mindset and reduces conflict when they eventually get married.

A typical African man prefers the wife to be a stay at home wife and it has resulted in alot of issues in marriage when the wife decides she wants to work or continue working when they get married.

Some men will tell their wives to stay at home with the newly born baby and travel abroad for months and using video call to monitor their wives so that she does not leave the house.

On the long run most couples won't still ask questions as their focus is mainly on the marriage party rice and the Asoebi lol.
Stop blaming women for not asking.

Even the ones that made agreements with men,how many honor it?

1 Like

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Pharaoh4rin(m): 11:34am On Aug 14
Zonefree:


What's the percentage of Nigerian girls that want to work and earn after marriage?

Na condition make few of them dey hustle after marriage.

Nigerian women as girls, have always envisioned the life of "Odogwu's wife". This has always been their dream right from foetus stage. They did not come this life to suffer, that's their mantra.

About 99.8943% of Nairaland girls wish to be in Regina Daniel's position. Fly PJs, flaunt designer bags, wear expensive wigs on a block head, just for answering "Odogwu's wife".

No girl wants to work and suffer in the name of chasing her dream. What nonsense dream? undecided

Women chase their dream for survival while men chase their dream for passion.

When a woman luckily survive poverty by getting married to a wealthy man, her dream becomes inconsequential.

grin grin
If I say what I know about Nigerians girls, helinus or is it hel anus would consider it hate speech and block me. So lemme comment my reserve
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by joseph1832(m): 11:43am On Aug 14
guobe:
It's important for couples to have an agreement on some vital issues before getting married and not just assume so that eventually when they get married, there will be no acrimony.

There are several vital questions to be asked by the ladies but one of the most vital questions a lady should ask the man she is getting married to is will you allow me to work and earn for myself after we get married?

His response will make you as the lady to know his mindset and reduces conflict when they eventually get married.

A typical African man prefers the wife to be a stay at home wife and it has resulted in alot of issues in marriage when the wife decides she wants to work or continue working when they get married.

Some men will tell their wives to stay at home with the newly born baby and travel abroad for months and using video call to monitor their wives so that she does not leave the house.

On the long run most couples won't still ask questions as their focus is mainly on the marriage party rice and the Asoebi lol.
this isn't even a question. Any lady who wants to get married to me, will already have something doing, period.

3 Likes

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Candreva: 11:43am On Aug 14
Why would a lady need to ask her boy friend if they would allow them to work after marriage? This absurd. I'm not sure I'm the one living under the rock but why in the first place will a man think he's in the position to decide if their partner need to make money for them or not? Change the Circle of the people you meet.

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Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Trustedpronet: 11:46am On Aug 14
Holluwhakemmy:
It is well. Some husbands don't want their wife to work because of inferiority complex knowing their wife earn more than them.
There is an issue going on in our family friends house the wife is a lecturer and PhD holder while the husband is non academic officer he has be giving the wife headache base on this, instead of him to upgrade himself by further his education. Anytime they call academic staff meetings that's when he will call the wife to come and do something for him at home when meeting is going on.

So everyone must be phd holder before you can level up. If the wife is busy it's better the husband get a cook or maid to balance the gap. The question I will ask, is the husband working?
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Krismas(m): 11:46am On Aug 14
guobe:
It's important for couples to have an agreement on some vital issues before getting married and not just assume so that eventually when they get married, there will be no acrimony.

There are several vital questions to be asked by the ladies but one of the most vital questions a lady should ask the man she is getting married to is will you allow me to work and earn for myself after we get married?

His response will make you as the lady to know his mindset and reduces conflict when they eventually get married.

A typical African man prefers the wife to be a stay at home wife and it has resulted in alot of issues in marriage when the wife decides she wants to work or continue working when they get married.

Some men will tell their wives to stay at home with the newly born baby and travel abroad for months and using video call to monitor their wives so that she does not leave the house.

On the long run most couples won't still ask questions as their focus is mainly on the marriage party rice and the Asoebi lol.
shocked The fundamental problem with marriage lies in the LIE that divorce is a sin.
That marriage is for better for worse. Nothing is more further from the truth.
If your relationship becomes a burden, get out of it in a jiffy.
U can experiment as much as u like until you find your most compatible partner.

1 Like

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Holluwhakemmy(f): 11:47am On Aug 14
Trustedpronet:


So everyone must be phd holder before you can level up. If the wife is busy it's better the husband get a cook or maid to balance the gap. The question I will ask, is the husband working?
Yes he's working but inferiority complex is affecting him
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by AmalaAtiEwedu: 11:48am On Aug 14
Holluwhakemmy:
No, why asking?
I hv the belief u need the kind of gbola i have in ur life. cool
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Holluwhakemmy(f): 11:49am On Aug 14
AmalaAtiEwedu:

I hv the belief u need the kind of gbola i have in ur life. cool
That your needle šŸŖ” like one, No not at all
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by ogbonti: 11:55am On Aug 14
Holluwhakemmy:
It is well. Some husbands don't want their wife to work because of inferiority complex knowing their wife earn more than them.
There is an issue going on in our family friends house the wife is a lecturer and PhD holder while the husband is non academic officer he has be giving the wife headache base on this, instead of him to upgrade himself by further his education. Anytime they call academic staff meetings that's when he will call the wife to come and do something for him at home when meeting is going on.


80% of communication is non- verbal

have you asked yourself how the wife is treating
the husband at home because she is a PhD

holder? and talk about upgrade? who will pay the bills when that ā€œupgradeā€ is going on? the wife?


if you think she will do that, then you seriously
need a crash course of ā€œunderstanding women 101ā€ that wont happen!

2 Likes

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by ednut1(m): 11:56am On Aug 14
Desperation for marriage no dey allow many ask questions

3 Likes

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Gotocourt: 11:57am On Aug 14
Holluwhakemmy:
It is well. Some husbands don't want their wife to work because of inferiority complex knowing their wife earn more than them.
There is an issue going on in our family friends house the wife is a lecturer and PhD holder while the husband is non academic officer he has be giving the wife headache base on this, instead of him to upgrade himself by further his education. Anytime they call academic staff meetings that's when he will call the wife to come and do something for him at home when meeting is going on.

O wrong now.

1 Like

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by samuelson06(m): 12:00pm On Aug 14
I can bear with a Northern woman working as a housewife because they are naturally humble. But Southern women may frustrate your life because they've seen money.

1 Like

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by seunayeni(m): 12:01pm On Aug 14
ensure she is earning a living and able to support you in the home, the home is for the 2 of you not 1 person
emphasis on Support you.....ire ooo

1 Like

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Graficient: 12:04pm On Aug 14
Why should a man marry a lady that can't provide for herself in the first place
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by gabbytabby: 12:20pm On Aug 14
When most men have decided that they want to marry they say yes knowing fully well that they donā€™t intend to keep their word. Especially when the woman has something they want be it papers or a good job, a good career or from a well to do family.

Some will even tell the woman it is her fault for thinking she has a yes man. Dishonesty amongst our men e get as he be.

Mine wanted me to work but wanted to be in charge of all of my money not a joint account but I make a monthly transfer to his bank account. This is a man who has a child whom he told me is his brother and has a baby mama lurking in the wings.

NigƩrian men most of them are Narcissistic looking for who to devour and destroy.

2 Likes

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by TheWinterBird: 12:32pm On Aug 14
In this day and age, why should that be a question? After all my degrees, on top of passing another huge certification exam last week after studying my behind off (because who doesn't want to make $300,000 yearly) and then paying $400 for membership, somebody will now tell me to not work? Even if he's Dangote's son, I won't accept such. Besides, I'm in an exciting, niche field that I quite enjoy and giving it up would not be an option.

3 Likes

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Jayhome24: 12:34pm On Aug 14
Feminist bitch at it again....

One of them just tore her husband passport few days ago.

Next topic pls ...
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by jericco1(m): 12:38pm On Aug 14
The average Nigerian lady want a babygirl lifestyle

Most no wan do anything just wake up cook, knack and spend.
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Divoc19(f): 12:43pm On Aug 14
Most women do this except when she is truly in love with her man.

Let's not forget those spouse that will lie to you during courtship just to get lockdown in marriage with you before their real character start to come out.

guobe:

Quite true but most importantly most men feel that once the women have access to alot of money they start misbehaving and looking down on their husbands.

1 Like

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Bahamas95(m): 12:50pm On Aug 14
My wife told me from day1 that she can't be a full-time house wife, she got this hustling spirit...... She's a teacher and also into pastries.


Initially I didn't want her to work but I changed my mind after we discussed. (My plan was that our child(ren) must be at least 4years old before she steps outta the house to work)

I just had this feeling she won't have that time to nurture our child(ren) as I want. I stopped her from teaching because of the stress but I opened a business for her, she's doing very well.

We just had our first baby and she isn't finding it difficult because it's her personal business..... Assuming na person she dey work for challenges must dey.

2 Likes

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Interesting2023: 12:53pm On Aug 14
Holluwhakemmy:
Yes most women does that but I don't think this should be the yardstick to stop them from working.
Most women does disrespect bcoz they now earn more...pride has set in and submissiveness is now a big deal and you still can't see it as a yardstick. There can't be peace in such a home and it won't be long before things fall apart.

For it not to be a yardstick, the woman has to fully understand her role for the relationship/marriage to last by practicing humility regardless of how much she's earning....

2 Likes

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by extremelygolden: 12:54pm On Aug 14
From day one, I have said it that I won't ever marry a man that wouldn't want me to work. Thank God for online gigs now.
Cos that shit nearly collapsed my parents marriage until my mother gathered both families to intervene.

Moreover, the degrees and certificates I'm acquiring here and there, what are they for? For decoration? So that tomorrow he'll call me a lazy wife! And how can I even be dependent on someone else at this age? God forbids.
I'll make my own money, enjoy my labour, and save some for the rainy days.

If you're as rich as Dangote or Otedola, good for you, but just open me a world class business empire where I can go in and close anytime I like, if your fear is that I will be closing late and abandon the home front.
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by Alphamentips: 1:04pm On Aug 14
kingthreat:
Lol, it's not something to even ask. Any man that wants to waste his wife's educational qualifications is an evil man. Your papa train you reach university but in the name of marriage, one man will now condemn you to cook, house cleaner, child trainer and leg opener. Only a lazy woman will accept such conditions.

Imagine how Nigeria has been treating her graduates by not providing jobs. We should NOT tolerate that
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by IamHonourable1: 1:13pm On Aug 14
Even without discussing about it,so you expect me as a man to marry you and you just sit at home without contributing financially.
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by IamMobisola(f): 1:21pm On Aug 14
DevilsEqual:
Most men wouldnt wan their wives to work, or at best, they would want them to run a mini-mart and i see nothing wrong with that

SIf she could do lil stuffs like maybe mini-importation business, own a mini-part or a boutique, then she's up there with those so-called "career women">

It doesnt make her less intelligent or less smart. I feel everyman should be able to open all those thing i listed there for their women


So after spending years in the university reading and studying to pass exams and get a good job, it is the husband that would decide what type of job or business the wife would do?

Lmao
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by PDJT: 1:22pm On Aug 14
TheWinterBird:
In this day and age, why should that be a question? After all my degrees, on top of passing another huge certification exam last week after studying my behind off (because who doesn't want to make $300,000 yearly) and then paying $400 for membership, somebody will now tell me to not work? angry. Unless he's Dangote's son or something, otherwise angry

- You just confirmed what one of the commenters said about women.

- Women? grin

- OP, I have two at home only working "part-time" - work today, have excuses tomorrow. Please come and carry them to work ooo! cheesy

1 Like

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by PDJT: 1:27pm On Aug 14
IamMobisola:

So after spending years in the university reading and studying to pass exams and get a good job, it is the husband that would decide what type of job or business the wife would do?

Lmao

- Before nko? You better know your levels in a relationship before you say; I do! Else, see you, see single mama lifestyle.
Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by IamMobisola(f): 1:33pm On Aug 14
PDJT:


- Before nko? You better know your levels in a relationship before you say; I do! Else, see you, see single mama lifestyle.
Only a desperate woman would accept such conditions, not me. A lot of men lie and say sweet things just to get a woman to marry them, then after marriage they change. If my man tries such with me, na divorce straight. No time for time wasters in my life. I would rather be a divorcee or single mother than to be in a marriage with such persons. There is more to life than marriage

2 Likes

Re: One Of The Most Vital Questions Ladies Don't Ask Their Spouses Before marriage by PDJT: 1:34pm On Aug 14
- At OP, most Nigerian women appear to be contented with the stay-at-home life, perhaps until their youngest kid start school. It's ofcos, hard for some, but okay for others. Even those career chasing ones end up staying at home for a very long time, if not forever, due to some unforeseen circumstances such as childbearing and childraising issues including physio-chemical and psychological issues related to pregnancy and childbirth.

1 Like

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