Maybe because I grew up in an environment where; if you like a lady, you simply ask about her from one or two people who might know her, and if that isn't possible, you walk up to her, letting her know you find her attractive, have a little conversation to know her name, where she stays, what she does etc. If that isn't possible at the first encounter, you get her number, continue conversation on phone or if you’re more of a physical person, agree to meetup at a restaurant and speak as an adult while reasoning if she'll like to be in a relationship or not. Then move on!

But recently, i find the idea of Talking Stage creeping in where you have to be proving to her why you’re worthy, spending in gifts, expensive dates etc. Meanwhile she can be in more than 1 talking stages, maybe 4 or 5 at the same time without committing to anyone of the guys while enjoying all the benefits of a girlfriend. This can go on for up to 6 months or a year and the girl will say "We are just friends " or better "he's my talking stage"

Am I the only one who finds this absurd? As a guy, will you say she's just a friend, best friend, girl friend or what? You're not allowed to touch her, regard her as anything personal to you and she goes out with other guys, while you have to keep up with your boyfriend-love-proving journey.

What really is the use of talking stage? Or is it really another copied western culture?

Some people will argue that talking stage is to know the person, but then, what is the purpose of the dating period?

I will really appreciate your opinions

In Nigeria, this stage is a trap for some girls to render your life koboless. And it's not like you are even going to be the only applicant in the love job.

Imagine someone comparing what you can offer to what another can offer... "Somto dey drive Benz and he's promising me an iPhone and two Brazilian hair, and this one is busy telling him he'll love me with all his heart when he is still struggling to buy me common four sticks of snail of ₦15k. Na love I go chop?"

You sef no fear who fit chop four sticks of snail in one sitting! That's about 16 animals at once!

Now who is Somto? Somto is an internet scammer who picked $5k, bought a car and is spending the rest money finding HIVAIDs with his penis.

It is also a stage where you CAN be taken for a fool! I mean, yes. You can be kept as an option. Bisola will always say: "you can't keep all your eggs in one basket."

"We have sex so she can't be using me!" You can still be wiping and be used by her! Whoever told you sex is an indication of love! Just console yourself already!

That's not even to tell you the bitterest truth that a Nigerian girl can still love you very much and still many who is ready. Now you see the definition of "who is ready" must have money attached. Even the ones that add love, there's always money bending in one corner. Note, I don't really mean that you may be poor but who knows? What money cannot do, more money can do it.

Want another truth? You fit still dey struggle with talking stage make Bayo dey snub her messages after "collecting what he wants." It's the same Bayo who professed "Nkiru, I have many girls in my life and they don't really give me the vibes you give me. I will be Bayoside in everything." This is the same Nkiru heartbroken by spare parts expert Chinonso who she served as a sales girl for three years, before graduating to an understanding girlfriend. I mean, three years of "don't forgot to buy postinor. I don't want ploblems o."

Let me not even forget the fact that it seems like every time you meet a Nigerian lady, e bi like she's just coming out from a relationship like some popular customer who patronises a local airport. Very busy airport indeed!


My drunkard uncle will always advise that if you have a spec complex of wanting to marry a virgin. There's every tendency you will marry a lie. I mean, someone who will outsmart you until you join your ancestors yonder. So while having a spec is good, be cautious you fit too!

I hope I’m not still being a total buzzkill for you. If you're diving into the talking stage, just remember to set some boundaries—it's like putting up a friendly fence around your heart! Most guys tend to notice a woman's physical features right off the bat. You never even know her name, but you are already planning a memorable bedtime. And that's when you end up overlooking everything else that really matters. Let the talking stage just be the talking stage.

Smell nice, but don't push it. It's not an audition...it is a get-to-know. The first question that really matters is "what is your genotype" before "what would you like to eat." AVOID stupid pickup lines online...it makes you sound dumb. Go straight to the point that you want both of you to work things out and give a relationship a start. You and I know you are not romantic so stop the nonsense "Like Romeo and Juliet, I think God made you for me" gibberish. Just say what you want before ordering even meatpie.

Who says the talking stage has to happen at Chicken Republic with two charred chickens on the table, legs akimbo, and cutlery ready for battle? Not me! Not you too! Talking stage can happen in a zoo or recreation place where you folks can walk too!

But una guys like to monetise everything! And the girls don't disappoint to not be hungry! "Give me Amarula!" See your forehead like Amarula. Drink water abeg.


Stop monetizing what your mouth can deliver! Well, you know how it goes—during those early chats, a lot of guys seem to think that flashing their cash is the way to win a lady's heart. And many ladies use this opportunity to eat brunch, lunch, crunch, sunch, dunch, munch, and save in their reservoir.
Then I think it really shouldn't be called a talking stage, right? It ought to be a financial analysis naw.

Me I am a local man and na advice I dey give.

I will advise that if you are ready for marriage, leave the wooing and let the friendship work on its own. Yeah, I understand you'll say how but it can also work if you know your onions.. Focus and invest only on marriage-driven relations in Nigeria...every other thing is a waste of time.

Goodluck on your journey.

For the lawyers and judges of public opinion, before you attack me, ask for my account details and send your attack as a narration.

Thanks for your understanding.



Contact me if you need a research writer, programmer or data analyst on your thesis or dissertation.

Talking stage is very necessary when you are trying to go into commitment with someone. That stage will make you know the specie of cow or goat or snake you're trying to be committed to. But as a man In talking stage with a woman, always make sure you keep to that stage, the moment you starts buying gifts and sort , then you're derailing from that stage to a foolish stage.

Btw, relationships in a hungry driving society is very exhausting. You try to keep up, only for you to go nuts at the end.

Talking stage should be mutual planning afterall both are after same thing.

The issue with it is, some ladies dont even worth the time and preparation. That's where love map should be amongst priority before any approaching

The talking stage process is where friendship start from. Meeting mostly in public place to know more about each other. Do's and don't, likes and dislikes

.

I've never being in a proper relationship ever

Talking stage. WTF is this new generation of men doing to themselves?

Everybody does what works for them. Don’t let people pressure you into a custom which you find pointless. Some men don’t toast, women fall for them. Some men toast for months on end before they catch a female. Some lay their cards on the table — telling the woman they want a good time and nothing else. Some gather many female friends, knowing fully well the one they want will profess her feelings. All different strategies, all with their degrees of success.

Talking stage?? Relationship??
What's the correlation??

It does make sense, very much





Talking stage in relationship is just like how medical doctors enquires about the well-being of their patients before they proceed with the main procedure. This also gives the doctor insights on what he is about to perform...



Talking stage should strictly be for talking stage and not for spending or showboating

Many marriages are hitting the rock not because there is no love but what sustains the love which is friendship is not enough or none at all judging from their relationship background. There is difference between talking and communication. Everybody talks, few communicate. As an intending couple, communication is very key to know your differences, likes/dislikes, values, vision, parenting, career prospects, etc.

People who neglect this side often struggles alot and I get, relationship especially the one built on money and flashy things tend to ignore the real deal and the consequence is almost felt immediately after wedding ceremony when couple realized that there are heap of personal hidden problems.

Don’t just talk to a lady, I like you and zoom! that’s it. Also, during your “talking phase” as you put it, don’t get entrapped in her games and get only financial gains from you. Know when to strike balance.

No and don't ask me why?






I thought you wouldn't ask ok, where do I start...

I have never heard of this nonsense
Talking stage ke??

There is nothing like talking stage, that is the time they use for billing, meanwhile another guy is banging the hell out of her and you are doing talking stage. My guy go straight if she no gree check the next door

There is nothing called talking stage.

Except you alone have been fooled to think someone you are talking too will lead up to a relationship.

Talking stage is strictly for when you meet people online as is common these days. Nothing wrong with taking a few days/weeks to get to know a stranger you met online before meeting them or agreeing to have something with them. That’s just all it is. Don’t over complicate it.

Is that how the talking stage work now? I thought it was the phase just to know the person better kinda

Depends on the partners involved.

I don't do that nonsense talking stage stuff. It's same as friend zoning.


I nor fit dey mumu follow one girl and another guy dey knack her FOC.

Talking stage is a scam against men to be spending money.
They will say they want intentional man…. Only a foolish man will fall for that scam called “intentional “
Them go finish your money and you no go see toto

They use a jargon to fleece men, my genz junior colleague used this language and most times they end up asking me what to do!!

Any lady who tells you that nonsense just wants to scam you as in eat her cake and have it. If you are not into one another you will know after two or three conversations which shouldn't be more than a week or two. Anything outside that is deciet or manipulation which you must resist

Talking stage can be cancelled.

What do you really want from the girl....... Marriage, ordinary friend, girlfriend, sexing-mate?

Approach her, show her you care(by spending money), then you tell her your intent. If she says no, move on(there are many fishes in the sea).

Note: money must be involve. Na broke guys dey use 6months dey toast one woman!

No time for talking stage.

Straight to marriage. We can do the talking stage inside the marriage...

AcrossTheEarth:
You can talk to someone one time and realize they're not the one for you. One or two important conversations and asking the right questions should suffice for determining compatibility. You don't need any so-called talking stage to figure that out. If you've determined you're compatible, or like the person that much and want to date them, then proceed into the dating stage sensibly, but a drawn out "talking stage" before a dating stage isn't necessary.

Some folks might not necessarily open up to you entirely on let's say the first three encounters but they would gradually.. that's the essence of talking stage .. but if you come dey buy buy for talking stage, you're supposed to be hanged on a spike..

A man with low self esteem will prolong his talking stage and disgrace his manhood by buying things to gain attention
I just need a 30mins date with a lady to know if she's even worth my calling her to say hi the next day.
Even if she passes my first date evaluation test, she dare not showcase any form of entitlement to my money or financial responsibility...If she shows that? That's another red flag that will prematurely end the talking stage
.
Now if she passes these two tests....and we get along, investment in the relationship must be two way, if she dare tries to play hanky-panky pranks and games of I'm too valuable, beautiful or too important to return my good will, or calls or conversation....I tell you, that relationship/ talking will die a sudden death......I will never be at a mercy of any small girl for attention or relationship. Never. Not at this age.
I rather stay single than compromise my time, resources and self worth for one lady who is being pummeled free of charge somewhere or who is being prostituted with 15k.....Make we respect ourselves
.

Chevrolet076:
Maybe because I grew up in an environment where; if you like a lady, you simply ask about her from one or two people who might know her, and if that isn't possible, you walk up to her, letting her know you find her attractive, have a little conversation to know her name, where she stays, what she does etc. If that isn't possible at the first encounter, you get her number, continue conversation on phone or if you’re more of a physical person, agree to meetup at a restaurant and speak as an adult while reasoning if she'll like to be in a relationship or not. Then move on!

But recently, i find the idea of Talking Stage creeping in where you have to be proving to her why you’re worthy, spending in gifts, expensive dates etc. Meanwhile she can be in more than 1 talking stages, maybe 4 or 5 at the same time without committing to anyone of the guys while enjoying all the benefits of a girlfriend. This can go on for up to 6 months or a year and the girl will say "We are just friends " or better "he's my talking stage"

Am I the only one who finds this absurd? As a guy, will you say she's just a friend, best friend, girl friend or what? You're not allowed to touch her, regard her as anything personal to you and she goes out with other guys, while you have to keep up with your boyfriend-love-proving journey.

What really is the use of talking stage? Or is it really another copied western culture?

Some people will argue that talking stage is to know the person, but then, what is the purpose of the dating period?

I will really appreciate your opinions

Talking stage is bullshit...Allow relationships to flow naturally without all these man made stages

What's talking stage?

Upgrade88:
I've never being in a proper relationship ever

That stage na mumu stage the will expect you to send them money still call them and ask if they have received it
That was how I invited one to my side Omo after even making her feel at home provide food light dey even Netflix
Omo I asked her if we could go down to business she bluntly refused then I asked her if you knew you won't be giving me konji why did you come then I didn't even want to shout Sha I just asked her to leave my house abegi

If the talking stage drains you
How will the relationship be?