Sleekyshuga:
Your happiness matters most.... You choose to accept what a man tells you, n still, make your own findings later... I'm not saying he is lying.. You know him better but whatever info u need b4 u say 'I do' is very relevant...

thank you.

LostMermaid:


summary is the title...

he says he hates the mother of the child..and just cares for the child. He says he loves me and wants me.

should i believe? should i trust? what precautions can I take?

pls don't be angry re-summarise wat u summarized let me get de picture clearly

chimerase2:
pls don't be angry re-summarise wat u summarized let me get de picture clearly

Ok ok I really like this guy but he has a child from an ex girlfriend. they separated like almost 2 years ago. Child is 4. Me and my boyfriend at mid twenties. We get on very well with this guy; I think he can be the right guy. I think I'm almost in love. He treats me very nicely, is very polite, very caring, romantic, we have many in common, etc.

I feel insecure about his ex girlfriend. She seems like a very problematic person. She causes problems for the guy too; sometimes doesn't show him his child, etc.

Could it be that he can behave so nicely to me; get me to fall in love and go back to the mother of child? (she cheated on him; she lied to him; they can't get along well etc etc. but despite everything; she's the mother of the child?? i talked about this he said no way; but still)

I feel insecure... Some say run away... Should I? Or should I take a risk of getting my heart broken and give him a chance? And continue my relationship with him?

LostMermaid:


Ok ok I really like this guy but he has a child from an ex girlfriend. they separated like almost 2 years ago. Child is 4. Me and my boyfriend at mid twenties. We get on very well with this guy; I think he can be the right guy. I think I'm almost in love. He treats me very nicely, is very polite, very caring, romantic, we have many in common, etc.

I feel insecure about his ex girlfriend. She seems like a very problematic person. She causes problems for the guy too; sometimes doesn't show him his child, etc.

Could it be that he can behave so nicely to me; get me to fall in love and go back to the mother of child? (she cheated on him; she lied to him; they can't get along well etc etc. but despite everything; she's the mother of the child?? i talked about this he said no way; but still)

I feel insecure... Some say run away... Should I? Or should I take a risk of getting my heart broken and give him a chance? And continue my relationship with him?

re u on baddoo?

LostMermaid:


thank you.

Most welcome

LostMermaid:


I want him. But not sure what will come along with him; a lot of baggage from the pas? problems with ex?/daugter etc etc. sadly...

I understand u. Bt if u Marry him, you marry his past.


Btw

I like d fact dt he has bn honest wt you though he has nt said the whole truth. He never seems to av taken d blame for something n that's worrying.

voodoo85:


I would say leave. Because there will be never ending things she will create. However, never ever judge his previous relationship with her. U dont know her, u dont know him( u believe what he say and dont have othe side of story). Only 2 ppl who r in relationship know whats going on inside their relationship, not some stranger. Thats why i would never ever date a man with a child. Too much. What there r no nice free guys without property?

2day u knw, bt 2moro u dnt knw!!!!

Enasco1:
2day u knw, bt 2moro u dnt knw!!!!

Yea.. The crazy thing abt most relationship is dt it's sweet in the beginning bt bitter at latter stages of the relationship. Some pple easily enter relationships without thinking twice like they av many extra hearts or no hearts at all. Some consider love as the only factor for a perfect relationship n that's whr trouble starts.

princetunex:


I understand u. Bt if u Marry him, you marry his past.


Btw

I like d fact dt he has bn honest wt you though he has nt said the whole truth. He never seems to av taken d blame for something n that's worrying.

You're definately right!!! For example; in my past relationship i got really hurt; there was some things my ex boyfriend did; that were sooo wrong; but on the other side, I surely know I made mistakes too; that perhaps caused some of his bad responces.

Well; I will ask directly to him then; is there anything about your past relationship; that you take the blame for? That you know you did wrong; and you know you will not repeat again in next (present) relationship?

Could that be a good idea?

Maybe he'll tell some things...

I know he was doing drugs at that time; i mean soft drugs; like cannabis; and not in massive amounts. He says he's a good boy now and he gave them up. Maybe problems were due to drugs at that time?? Can we believe that he changed? He says he has changed, because of his daughter; he loves her so much.

princetunex:


Yea.. The crazy thing abt most relationship is dt it's sweet in the beginning bt bitter at latter stages of the relationship. Some pple easily enter relationships without thinking twice like they av many extra hearts or no hearts at all. Some consider love as the only factor for a perfect relationship n that's whr trouble starts.

sweet and perfect in the beginning; right!!!

So we must ask questions and try to know the person first before we dive into a romance. Very true. So I'm trying to know him; before we get physically close at least. It's knew. I'm taking slow. We haven't even kissed.

it's s.hyte like this that's makes ya wanna get a case-hungry lawyer-frend" for a 10-page prenup!

LostMermaid:


sweet and perfect in the beginning; right!!!

So we must ask questions and try to know the person first before we dive into a romance. Very true. So I'm trying to know him; before we get physically close at least. It's knew. I'm taking slow. We haven't even kissed.

Good for u. You said he did drugs nd he's changed nw... you mean d ex had no issue wt dt? The ball is in ur court nw.. if you think you both still av a future den stick to him.

thimbook2:
it's s.hyte like this that's makes ya wanna get a case-hungry lawyer-frend" for a 10-page prenup!

haha what exactly do you mean?

princetunex:


Good for u. You said he did drugs nd he's changed nw... you mean d ex had no issue wt dt? The ball is in ur court nw.. if you think you both still av a future den stick to him.

i don't know if his ex had an issue with that or not... I don't know if the problems were arising because he was on drugs or not. But I just know that he told me; he did it before; he isn't doin it anymore; he wanted to change so he could see his daughter more often. He got also enrolled in the univ. to get a high paid job he's in second year now. I'm not sure, if that means I should give him a chance or not though...

LostMermaid:


i don't know if his ex had an issue with that or not... I don't know if the problems were arising because he was on drugs or not. But I just know that he told me; he did it before; he isn't doin it anymore; he wanted to change so he could see his daughter more often. He got also enrolled in the univ. to get a high paid job he's in second year now. I'm not sure, if that means I should give him a chance or not though...

Okay then. Just follow your instincts. Because from wat I av learnt in my short life, it's hard n dangerous to advise someone in love concerning issues surrounding dr date. if it wasn't online trust me, I'd keep mum.

So for u, it's natural dt u re going to keep trying to see reasons to stick to him. Above all, it's you dat matters.

princetunex:


Okay then. Just follow your instincts. Because from wat I av learnt in my short life, it's hard n dangerous to advise someone in love concerning issues surrounding dr date. if it wasn't online trust me, I'd keep mum.

So for u, it's natural dt u re going to keep trying to see reasons to stick to him. Above all, it's you dat matters.

thank you but what do you mean "if it wasn't online i'd keep mum"?

LostMermaid:


thank you but what do you mean "if it wasn't online i'd keep mum"?

Twice in my life av I given sincere n unbiased piece of advice to my friends nd they later took me to be dr enemy. Both relationships didn't last beyond a semester nd thank goodness they were just school mates. It's a lesson learnt though.

princetunex:

Twice in my life av I given sincere n unbiased piece of advice to my friends nd they later took me to be dr enemy. Both relationships didn't last beyond a semester nd thank goodness they were just school mates. It's a lesson learnt though.

Oh... I see. Yes, some people react badly.

princetunex:


Firstly, men are different as women are different. Naturally I'd wish I don't av kids from different mothers. For 4-5yrs I endured neglect n pain bt I blame distance sha. To cut d long story short, I called my kid's mom on d 31st of December 2013 to inform her dt I'd b dating someone else as we were nt clicking at all. She begged n cried saying dt she planned calling me dt night to assure me dt she would change bt it was late as I had already started dating d new girl on d 25th of same month. Bt for 7months, I prayed n wept.
Last 3months, my ex(a banker) as usual persisted that I gv my word dt I'd marry her in d next 2yrs which I couldn't for two reasons. 1) My mind wasn't made up as I still thought of my kid's mom n d joy of having my family wt her 2) I had failed to kill any feelings for her. One way or d other, d kid mks me think of her
Nw dt my ex is gone, I n my kid's mom av developed a good relationship nd yes I'd take my chances n b happy. I'm infact traveling dz month to visit them.
So dear, for me, I'd sincerely always b confused if she promises to change n love me nd the honest reason for traveling is to trash out matters affecting us. And the boy is 4yrs old as well.

My conclusion of the bolded part, tu es sans coeur. Meaning, you have no heart

TheCongo:


My conclusion of the bolded part, tu es sans coeur. Meaning, you have no heart

At least d last part stated dt I prayed n wept. And that suggests dt it was difficult to ignore her. Till date, dr is no sign of change as she is on n off. You can talk poo it's ur shit.

princetunex:

At least d last part stated dt I prayed n wept. And that suggests dt it was difficult to ignore her. Till date, dr is no sign of change as she is on n off. You can talk poo it's ur shit.

Tu es sans coeur.

Update:

When he went to where his ex and his daughter lives; he kept calling and messaging me; sent me pictures of that city, a video etc. and in the evening he called on skype to show his daughter and i met her on skype then she was jumping moving all around and so cute. Later, he spent some more time with her and messaged me again before sleep, was so nice and sweet. <3

I get a feeling this can work...

LostMermaid:
Update:

When he went to where his ex and his daughter lives; he kept calling and messaging me; sent me pictures of that city, a video etc. and in the evening he called on skype to show his daughter and i met her on skype then she was jumping moving all around and so cute. Later, he spent some more time with her and messaged me again before sleep, was so nice and sweet. <3

I get a feeling this can work...

Good luck

TheCongo:


Good luck

Thank you