Below are three financial models found in some households but there are others, depending on the couple.

Model 1.

Faith* is a working wife who has proactively argued for gender equality, insists she is entitled to have a career just like her husband but doesn't feel she should contribute financially to the household. She was raised to believe that the man is the head of household, and therefore, responsible for all the bills in the household. In spite of working full-time, she still takes care of all the housework and the needs of their two children. According to Faith*, this method justifies her decision of keeping her money in the bank, rather than contributing towards household expenditures. However, this mindset doesn't set too well with her husband who believes household expenditures should be shared, based on what each spouse makes. He thinks she's using him and he resents it. She and her husband are on the verge of separation because she refuses to budge.

Model 2.

Beatrice* takes great pride in contributing to the household. It gives her a sense of accomplishment. But she feels she should have equal say in household decisions, if a portion of her salary is going towards household expenditures. Unfortunately, her traditionally-minded husband disagrees with her. He was raised to believe that the husband is supposed to be the head of household, not the wife, therefore, the husband has the final say, when it comes to ANY decisions in the household. However, Beatrice* was raised differently. Her mother was also a working wife and shared in all the decision-making in the household with her father. So Beatrice's husband attitude is a source of constant frustration. She's even beginning to resent him. She feels his mindset is backwards and unfair and feels he doesn't respect her or her economic contributions to the household. The thought of being a single mother of two terrifies her but she feels her husband is so set in his ways that there's little hope their marriage can be saved.

Model 3.

Tamar* is a working wife who is married to a husband who believes in gender equality, except in the area of household expenditures. He doesn't expect her to contribute ANY money to the household and has never asked her. He was raised to believe that as a husband, he is responsible for paying each and every bill in the household, including those pertaining to the children, even if his wife is gainfully employed. So any money Tamar makes is her money and none of his business. If he has to take on a second or third job, to make ends meet, so be it. He doesn't tolerate any discussion of the matter. Most wives would envy Tamar's position but she is worried that her husband works too hard at times. She fears he may keel over from a stress-induced heart attack, leaving her a young widow, with three kids to raise. So she saves back most of her salary, in the event her husband becomes incapacitated and the household expenditures fall on her shoulders.

Where do you stand on this issue?

*Names have been changed.

model 3. let me work and keep my money. so if anything comes up and hubby is not readily available, i can shoulder the responsibility.

model 2 is the best kind of model for any household and just because as a woman you are contributing to household expenses means you have now become the man of the house. No, you are not. You are just supporting and its not as if we won't let you have any say. You would have a say but the final decision is left to your husband.

I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED


*modified*
See them mentioning me.
if your wife can't participate in decision making, then why marrying her?? Does anyone need to tell you to involve your wife in decision making when the effects of those decisions are going to be borne by both of you? If you think taking decisions alone in your home makes you a man, then I only but pity your wife who's irrelevant in her own home.

btw, why are you men not disputing my first point??

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

Hmmm.. Not nice.

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

Gbam, we are partners in everything including investments or paying our bills and decisions are made by both of us. We have a policy whereby we must always agree before either of us can make any major decisions. When we have different opinions about an issue we reach a compromise

davide470:
Hmmm.. Not nice.

oh yeah, I MUST take part in decision making, if not why are we together? ?

aderonila18:

Gbam, we are partners in everything including investments or paying our bills and decisions are made by both of us. We have a policy whereby we must always agree before either of us can make any major decisions. When we have different opinions about an issue we reach a compromise

That's how it's supposed to be. May God bless your marriage

Simple.

I detest men who don't remember you're a woman when it comes to collecting your money but will be quick to remind you you're a woman when they want to have their way.

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

Daz all.

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

Haha Marvy your idealistic postures on issues like this always cracks me up. You've never had a BF yet you're always on these family threads expressing very strong but yet acutely naïve opinion.

Leave matter, you be learner joor

wo1F:


Haha Marvy your idealistic postures on issues like this always cracks me up. You've never had a BF yet you're always on these family threads expressing very strong but yet acutely naïve opinion.

Leave matter, you be learner joor

hehehehehehe, do I really deserve all these?? .... I'm just going to let it pass anyway..

Good night.

It's obvious and unfortunate that many don't really understand what marriage is all about.
Marriage is all about partnership, teamwork, in everything, every aspect and every area in love, understanding and empathy.
Marriage is not about one-man battalion, it's about two people working as one in every area that involves their marriage and lives.
If, as wife, you really love your husband, with understanding and empathy, you will realise that it's "unmarriage"(formed by me) to saddle your husband with all the financial responsibilities, apart from the fact that it isn't good for his health, it shows that you yourself aint committed to being teamed up with your husband, (selfishness)which sooner than later, may brings up unhealthy marital relationship to spring up.

Similarly, if, as a husband, if you really love your wife and see her as part of you, you will involve her in every decision to be taken at home, and in your life, when it comes to household matters, you will know that you're both one and act accordingly. You will see her as part of you that mustn't be neglected or abandoned.
At the end of the day, both parties enjoy their commitment towards each other and peace reigns absolutely.

greatgod2012:
It's obvious and unfortunate that many don't really understand what marriage is all about.
Marriage is all about partnership, teamwork, in everything, every aspect and every area in love, understanding and empathy.
Marriage is not about one-man battalion, it's about two people working as one in every area that involves their marriage and lives.
If, as wife, you really love your husband, with understanding and empathy, you will realise that it's "unmarriage"(formed by me) to saddle your husband with all the financial responsibilities, apart from the fact that it isn't good for his health, it shows that you yourself aint committed to being teamed up with your husband, (selfishness)which sooner than later, may brings up unhealthy marital relationship to spring up.

Similarly, if, as a husband, if you really love your wife and see her as part of you, you will involve her in every decision to be taken at home, and in your life, when it comes to household matters, you will know that you're both one and act accordingly. You will see her as part of you that mustn't be neglected or abandoned.
At the end of the day, both parties enjoy their commitment towards each other and peace reigns absolutely.

Idealistic but not really realistic.

If not, there wouldn't be such a deafening chorus of dissent.

Think about it!

Nice thread.

Three scenarios,different angles.

It takes two to tango,God created woman to be a helper,and not a liability to the man.

If she has the resource to help out,why not,after all,they are building same family.

Space booked...ill be back

Haba!
No

Why not, dont forget the bible even says "but two heads is better than one"

It depends on The husband income level and mutual understanding with all sincerity and openness! If there is love, This question won't be asked

WHY HAS GOD FORSAKEN ME? THIS POVERTY IS TOO MUCH AND I'M LOOSING MY MIND DAILY. NAIRALANDERS HELP ME WITH A JOB. SAVE ME

Thinking before i reply

unless the husband so allows of it, there is a permanent distortion in the definition of the head of the family.

Hmmm!

Marriage is all about sharing

Model 3: ...She fears he may keel over from a stress-induced heart attack, leaving her a young widow, with three kids to raise. So she saves back most of her salary, in the event her husband becomes incapacitated

Does it mean she contributes some to the well being of the family ?

Definitely. You can't all feminist on me yet draw back when it is time to spend

Model 2 is the sweetness of marriage.

understanding matters anyway

Yes but at her discretion. Not mandatory.

My opinion though

Understanding makes things easier in a marriage & there is nothing wrong with a woman contributing financially in the home, what if the husband falls sick, losses his job or the finality of death? Life is not a straight line & nothing is guaranteed!

If we're partners, it must be in all aspects; financially, spiritually, in expenditures, morally, ideologically, & all the "-allys" in this world. Being an husband isn't a monarch, being a wife isn't a subject.

If Dey dnt contribute wat den re dey using dia money for?d woman is d neck of d family as d man is d head nd d work of d neck is to support d head.