Ps stop encouraging our future husbands to be lazy...remember this is Africa,Nigeria precisely...contribution from d wives side should be a free will and not by force...

greatgod2012:
It's obvious and unfortunate that many don't really understand what marriage is all about.
Marriage is all about partnership, teamwork, in everything, every aspect and every area in love, understanding and empathy.
Marriage is not about one-man battalion, it's about two people working as one in every area that involves their marriage and lives.
If, as wife, you really love your husband, with understanding and empathy, you will realise that it's "unmarriage"(formed by me) to saddle your husband with all the financial responsibilities, apart from the fact that it isn't good for his health, it shows that you yourself aint committed to being teamed up with your husband, (selfishness)which sooner than later, may brings up unhealthy marital relationship to spring up.

Similarly, if, as a husband, if you really love your wife and see her as part of you, you will involve her in every decision to be taken at home, and in your life, when it comes to household matters, you will know that you're both one and act accordingly. You will see her as part of you that mustn't be neglected or abandoned.
At the end of the day, both parties enjoy their commitment towards each other and peace reigns absolutely.

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When a marriage is punctuated with ignorance, immaturity and sky-high ego, these questions are sure to come up.
In a marriage founded and groomed on understanding and maturity, there is little arrangement on resource control; the financial responsibilities are automatically mutual.

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

You women dont realize something..because its the natural order of things to be under a man, you naturally feel subjugated even when you are partners in any decision making process. The bitter truth is that a man has the final say.. its the way nature made it to be and when a man does not play this "role" unconsciously to you, he gradually loses his status as a man to YOU....then this brings the instances of disrespect and dishonour..women honor men who subjugate then (not in a bad or condescending way though).

blueAlphaGirl:
Ps stop encouraging our future husbands to be lazy...remember this is Africa,Nigeria precisely...contribution from d wives side should be a free will and not by force...

You got that wrong..its not freewill.. its essential but not mandatory...

If she is working and earning money why cant she take care of some certain thinfs herself without asking the man for money?

These are the things people should discuss during dating, not making s*ex or money collection which they'd do forever if all works out a priority

redcliff:


You women dont realize something..because its the natural order of things to be under a man, you naturally feel subjugated even when you are partners in any decision making process. The bitter truth is that a man has the final say.. its the way nature made it to be and when a man does not play this "role" unconsciously to you, he gradually loses his status as a man to YOU....then this brings the instances of disrespect and dishonour..women honor men who subjugate then (not in a bad or condescending way though).

If I ask you to post proof to all the bullsh1t you wrote here, you'll start shaking.

Just marry Beatrice and let her have her say too.If we nigerians are copying westerners in everything they do,why can't we copy them on this? Or the husband of Hillary Clinton makes decision alone?

Should they save it till he dies?

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

Seconded

They can support their hubby but the man shouldn't rely on the wife since it is his role to provide for the needs of the family. Except in rare occasions where the hubby is out of job for a while of which her maximum support is important. A good woman should lend a helping hand in love and a responsible man should cater for the needs of the home.

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

Go and marry first or let them marry you first...You're still single...

Because the man is the head, the woman's money belongs to the man. And everything the man owns belong to God. Every father should seek God for direction to run his home because what fits for one family may not fit another.Women should also learn to be really submissive, don't marry a man that you do not see as your lord. A woman is not really a partner but a help, she's meant to assist a man on his journey, no where in the Bible did any woman play partnership role with the husband, the relationship was that of a lord and a help. At the end let all the glory belong to God.

Debonair01:
It beats me a times how marriage has become so broken and everyone trying to make it scientific. I paint another scenario, one which i am very conversant with.

My dad and mum both were working, but no formulae was used for anything (per say), Granted, my dad takes care of the MAIN responsibilities, and my mum the minor ones but these roles were easily interchangeable whenever the need arose.

Pops pays our fees, gives us some upkeep money, Mums usually gives us additional money for other frivolities (clothes, shoes.. just playing around money). In them of house hold stuff, my dad would usually buy the bulk food (bags of rice, beans, yam), but my mum takes care of most additives and fruits and the likes. Some months, moms wld go out and buy the bulk foods (looking back now, she is usually very excited when ever she does, maybe because of exra money she just made or just the joy of buying them) and other times my dad comes home with the food additives. Clothings, each buy for themselves and for one another. (mums real did like buying for my my dad tho).

DECISIONS WERE ALWAYS TAKEN TOGETHER, with few exceptions where apologies are made and efforts to make it up, like my dad buying my mum a gift to apologise or my mum preparing a special delicacy

WHAT IS MY POINT

As much as it might sound quite idealistic, but if my parents could do it for almost 50yrs, any sincere couple can. Just do things sincerely for one another, contribute when you can. and this includes even house chores. it surprises me when pple talk about whose responsibility it is to do what; the answer is.. its both yours, Just do them with joy and love.

ps: i remember when my dad started a building project, and all house hold purchases went to my mum, even our fees a times. But even then, She would contribute some to the building and He some to house. There was no clear cut lines.

great couple i must say.
All along i believe they didn't just sit down everytime to appropriate responsibilities to each other,but each knowing how to meet needs, take up responsibilities, not being self centred, filled with true love etc
What we have nowadays are those who have been westernized to believe in African marital heresies and gender equality without discovering themselves and find out ways to make marriage works. many just find themselves in marriage without having a single knowledge about its working principles, so completely clueless and unknowledgeable ...

aderonila18:


Gbam, we are partners in everything including investments or paying our bills and decisions are made by both of us. We have a policy whereby we must always agree before either of us can make any major decisions. When we have different opinions about an issue we reach a compromise

All these young Ladies... lol...It is not compulsory... You suggest to him...you don't push it down his throat... that's why I should give my wife like 7- years gap...Respect demands you suggest to your husband... ask your mama naaa

timilehing:
isn't that a bad idea??

cant u see her husband has instructed her not to put her salary to use in the house hold and detests her aid?? Dont you think its a good idea that since he has restricted her from contributing, its good that she's saving for rainy days?? Think before you act..... In my opinion, she's a very good companion....

will they share household chores too?

looking4job:
WHY HAS GOD FORSAKEN ME? THIS POVERTY IS TOO MUCH AND I'M LOOSING MY MIND DAILY. NAIRALANDERS HELP ME WITH A JOB. SAVE ME

SCAM!!!

drjoshua2000:
Because the man is the head, the woman's money belongs to the man. And everything the man owns belong to God. Every father should seek God for direction to run his home because what fits for one family may not fit another.Women should also learn to be really submissive, don't marry a man that you do not see as your lord. A woman is not really a partner but a help, she's meant to assist a man on his journey, no where in the Bible did any woman play partnership role with the husband, the relationship was that of a lord and a help. At the end let all the glory belong to God.

Arrant nonsense

Household models have to evolve with the times and circumstances.

If God bless me with abundant wealth, model three for me. But for now, model two is d surest. I can't marry d woman in model one. Thank God for my fiancee. May God continue to bless u for me.

Make una join me countdown to Dec 12 - 13 for my wedding o.

kobonaire:
Household models have to evolve with the times and circumstances.

true but most men want to keep the status quo while trying to benefit from new trends

tantamount to eating your cake and having it dont u think?

How about a model where the husband provides everything but doesn't want his wife to have a boss? He opens a big shop for her, that gives her time to take care of the house. He expects to go home everyday at close of work to meet his wife at home. How about that? I prefer this one.

pls som1 should help me ooo......nairaland is frustrating

[size=18pt]u never mentioned a model where the wife does not work or the hubby does not bring in as much as the wife brings in. you are practically missing out up to three more models. research more! [/size]

zboyd:
Below are three financial models found in some households but there are others, depending on the couple.

Model 1.

Faith* is a working wife who has proactively argued for gender equality, insists she is entitled to have a career just like her husband but doesn't feel she should contribute financially to the household. She was raised to believe that the man is the head of household, and therefore, responsible for all the bills in the household. In spite of working full-time, she still takes care of all the housework and the needs of their two children. According to Faith*, this method justifies her decision of keeping her money in the bank, rather than contributing towards household expenditures. However, this mindset doesn't set too well with her husband who believes household expenditures should be shared, based on what each spouse makes. He thinks she's using him and he resents it. She and her husband are on the verge of separation because she refuses to budge.

Model 2.

Beatrice* takes great pride in contributing to the household. It gives her a sense of accomplishment. But she feels she should have equal say in household decisions, if a portion of her salary is going towards household expenditures. Unfortunately, her traditionally-minded husband disagrees with her. He was raised to believe that the husband is supposed to be the head of household, not the wife, therefore, the husband has the final say, when it comes to ANY decisions in the household. However, Beatrice* was raised differently. Her mother was also a working wife and shared in all the decision-making in the household with her father. So Beatrice's husband attitude is a source of constant frustration. She's even beginning to resent him. She feels his mindset is backwards and unfair and feels he doesn't respect her or her economic contributions to the household. The thought of being a single mother of two terrifies her but she feels her husband is so set in his ways that there's little hope their marriage can be saved.

Model 3.

Tamar* is a working wife who is married to a husband who believes in gender equality, except in the area of household expenditures. He doesn't expect her to contribute ANY money to the household and has never asked her. He was raised to believe that as a husband, he is responsible for paying each and every bill in the household, including those pertaining to the children, even if his wife is gainfully employed. So any money Tamar makes is her money and none of his business. If he has to take on a second or third job, to make ends meet, so be it. He doesn't tolerate any discussion of the matter. Most wives would envy Tamar's position but she is worried that her husband works too hard at times. She fears he may keel over from a stress-induced heart attack, leaving her a young widow, with three kids to raise. So she saves back most of her salary, in the event her husband becomes incapacitated and the household expenditures fall on her shoulders.

Where do you stand on this issue?

*Names have been changed.

This lie on where the husband is working, immagine a husband recieving #20,000 or 30,000 thousand per month and they are raising two/three children, infact, the husband will be the one to introduce contribution from the wife. But if hubby is well paid forget.......

Model 1 and 2 are acts of irreconcilable differences that is another name for modern divorce.

blueAlphaGirl:
Ps stop encouraging our future husbands to be lazy...remember this is Africa,Nigeria precisely...contribution from d wives side should be a free will and not by force...

Gold digger! They should work themselves out while you paint your nails with their money... Teenagers!

abelbridge can u help me with somtin?

BananaBender:


If I ask you to post proof to all the bullsh1t you wrote here, you'll start shaking.

post proof what? Are you the head of the home? What's new in that? Women lose respect for weak guys, especially in making decisions...you didn't know that? Are you age 10? What's there to post proof? Some Girls that think they know...correct him intellectually and intelligibly... smh

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

I agree! My having a say doesnt have anything to do with financial contribution. Even if I were a housewife, I must have a say. After all, I am not a child and raising kids is 1000 times more stressful than working.