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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. (54702 Views)
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TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 11:40am On Oct 16, 2014 |
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have. Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her. I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce. What do u guys think? 15 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by ayaomoade: 12:20pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
If you are indeed right about those characters you mentioned above, then, something must be wrong somewhere. Its deeper than the behaviours she's exhibiting. Why not try to listen to her. Have a heart to heart conversation with your wife. Ask her what you have done to deserve what you are getting and be prepared to act on whatever she tells you. You can get the best out of her, trust me. Feed her with her love language and not what you think she deserves. Divorce won't solve the problem. Infact, it will bring more woes. You have two kids between you. Please, explore every avenue to resolve your differences before thinking about divorce. If nothing changes after you have explored the afore mentioned, involve family members or whoever she respects and dont forget to continually pray for a peaceful home Goodluck!!! 235 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by coogar: 12:26pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
liyuboy: •she doesn't respect you •she doesn't appreciate you •she is a moaner •she compares you to her father all the time. divorce isn't even needed now. man up & give her father a call. break it down to him how he has failed as a father to bring up her daughter the proper way. tell him how disappointed you are to have been scammed to marry a damaged good(his daughter). tell him you are few inches away from driving a dagger into his daughter's heart & if care is not taken, he would be burying his daughter instead of celebrating christmas.... trust me, things would change...... 116 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by egopersonified(f): 12:39pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
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Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 12:51pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
coogar: Did your supplier mix something else with your weed? ![]() ![]() @op, have you talked to your wife about these changes? like it or not, the most important thing to a woman from a man is not money, so, forget about the 'I take care of her financially' part. A normal, sane woman does not exhibit all of those characteristics at once, not to a very wonderful husband. She's most likely reacting to something. Have you cheated or are you cheating on her? Do you have unresolved issues? How's the sex life? Etc etc......I seriously believe your wife is reacting to an equal but opposite action, identify the action and you can move from there. However, if you're strongly convinced that this woman has just made it her life ambition to frustrate you for no reason, then, you have a psycho on your hand-you know what to do ![]() 163 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by coogar: 1:00pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
alutacontinua: i don't even do weed....too cheap. my choice revolves round angel dust, charlie & amphetamines
it's the 21st century.... any father in law that has the support of his erring daughter would get verbally lashed to have done a terrible job as a father. i would spell it out to him how he is an irresponsible father to his children. parents that are family oriented would nudge their daughter to behave herself in her matrimony - not fan the embers of fire. 22 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 1:08pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
coogar: You're apparently high on something cheap would be too honourable a word to describe. ![]() Cow urine, maybe ![]()
You never meet correct father wey go deal with you and your whole entire being ![]() Why would we call a man a man if he needs another man to handle his woman? biko, coogar, I no fit argue this morning.....just wanted to tell you to check your 'angel dust', a laboratory test would reveal some urine of some sort (I'm sure of that) ![]() ![]() 110 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by pickabeau1: 1:14pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
so much is left unsaid are u working when did u observe the change what changes have occured in your family liyuboy 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by coogar: 1:15pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
alutacontinua: whatever it is.....who cares? i am not being chased by cops, my employers value my output & sister sara is forever grateful.....
which correct father? that would be a hubby who probably borrows from his inlaw's, a hubby who sleeps over in his inlaw's house, a hubby who removes shirt to devour bowl of eba in her inlaw's house. i am not about that. the only time i would be having tête-a-tête with any father in law is when i am paying the bride price....after then, he better minds his business & face his own wife. if i then find out the reasons my wife has been misbehaving is as a result of her father's backing then that man would get verbally lashed. i don't even see such happening. if he looks into my eyes, he would get the message that my type cannot condone any nonsense. 33 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by teeboo: 2:21pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
coogar: Lol, u don take d matter personal o,OP never said d father is in support of d daughter's misbehaviour,he only said she always compare him to her father,maybe 4 d babe house their father dey wash their mother pant and do oda house chores and Op refuse 2 do same. 51 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 2:57pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
Dön't even know what to say,meanwhile let me call people that can give you advice,i called them the inspiration one's,b'cos they do insire me. Godmystrength mizmycoli chaircover carefreewannabe aisha2 cococandy greatgod2012 Tallesty1 ifyalways.u guys are needed here. 6 Likes |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by mk3jax: 2:58pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
x 84 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 3:12pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
mk3jax:hmmm, this is serious,trust me u will get good advice here,i trust family section,their are all inspiration. 6 Likes |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Tallesty1(m): 3:26pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
liyuboy:It is common with women, once they give birth to one or two kids(especially when there is a boy) they'd start to misbehave because they have won/gained a place in the marriage. liyuboy:How? Explain a bit with example if possible. liyuboy:Who cooks your food? liyuboy:About what? liyuboy:. Well you gotta be a man and take control of your home. Send her back to her father when next she do that. liyuboy:I will tell you what I think when I get the answers to my questions 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by DukeNija(m): 3:47pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
mk3jax: Bros abeg no vex o, is it your wife who doubles as life partner and mother of your children you are referring to with such disdain? You seem to be a very angry person who feels he's doing a woman a favor by marrying her. I am not married, but I felt the urge to say I am very disappointed in your choice of words towards your wife. I take care of people who are not even related to me by blood, financially and otherwise and I never feel I'm doing them a favour, how much more my own family. You sound like you were forced to marry her, like you didn't propose to this woman, didn't buy her an engagement ring and all that, like she was begging to become your wife. I went through your post and I couldn't even find what she did so wrong for you to hate her this much, even up to the point of contemplating divorce. Using words like "putting her under my roof", "feeding her and our kids" "bitching about everything" is just too disrespectful to your wife and I'm afraid your marital challenges can be traced to your negative attitude towards your her. Please approach your marriage with a better countenance and see your wife as you see yourself by truly loving her and sincerely appreciating her contributions to your home. And yes you need to praise her for cooking, cleaning after you and your child, taking care of you and maintaining the home. Yes, you must praise her. Try telling her how much you appreciate her efforts and cooking, and how delicious her food is and see if she won't be overjoyed and do something special for you. Women complain a lot, my mom, sisters, friends, every woman I know can complain, it just doesn't make them bad people. That's just their way of communicating sometimes. And pls if you are tired of putting her under your roof, u can send her to me. I have a very large flat with four rooms that can comfortably accommodate her. *Just kidding* 185 Likes 18 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 4:06pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
Bunsky: Where have Cococandy and EfemenaXY been lately? ![]() And where is Aisha2? 2 Likes |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 4:16pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
alutacontinua: Seconded. The op needs to open up more about the issues they have been having that are causing all these conflicts. 2 Likes |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Ymodulus: 4:18pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
coogar: Rotten useless item. He should divorce her an move on. The is the 21st century no time to wallow in pains all cause of a girl. Women are NVR to be trusted. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by MizMyColi(f): 4:20pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
Bunsky: Thanks Ma'am. liyuboy: OP, no talk of mine would surpass this valuable diary. You should take your time and read it, word for word. It's a chronicles of sorts, showing how he's going through the same ish as you, and he is getting emancipated, gradually. https://www.nairaland.com/1842979/lonely-yet-married You are being abused by your wife, not good. For very strange reasons, I support cogar. ![]() Not for the violence of course, but then, something in those lines might work or NOT. (I mean calling her parents/guardians and threatening to do away with her). It's your call to make. Just don't die prematurely, biko. 10 Likes |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by MizMyColi(f): 4:21pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
Ymodulus: Seriously? Are you for real on this one? ![]() ![]() ![]() 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 4:23pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
Ymodulus: Gbam! I support you. But, does this also include your mum, sisters and would be daughters? 56 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by mk3jax: 4:34pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
x 84 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 5:08pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
Na wa o. A ma rogo o. Why is it always one downhill turn or the other that comes to the family section these days? Are people deliberately trying to scare others off marriage? Hmmmm, na real wa. So I should sleep with one eye shut if I were to really get married soon.whew! While my orientation about qualification to talk on certain topics have changed lately, it appears one or both of you is/are not trying to make it work. Pls go for counselling. I know only the one who wears the shoes knows how much it hurts. The Lord will strengthen you . 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 5:24pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:true Big sis it's been long.just hope their are ok. 2 Likes |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by yeamesee(f): 5:47pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
DukeNija: u jst echoed my thoughts.well said bro. 8 Likes |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Morotov1(m): 6:02pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
mk3jax:You need a fuccccking vacation to clear your head. Ever wonder what this wife of yours will say about you, it always goes both ways. Sport your shitttts out without resentment. And please buy another television....okayyyyy!!!!!!! 30 Likes 1 Share |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by snakie86: 6:12pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
liyuboy: I seriously understand your plight and what you are going through which i know every married person here will agree to. If you say your situation is bad, you will definitely see someone somewhere that their own is worst but they are still coping. I guess something is seriously missing in your marriage which is understanding and effective communication. Her change of character didn't just start from nowhere as i believe she wasn't like this when you first met and at the early stage of marriage (A month or two). Why not sit down, relax and think about if you have done something or doing something that warrant all these from her. Communicate with her and try to understand the cause of her behavior. Pacify, beg and talk to her the best time she will listen to you. Irrespective of what she does to you, never insult or compare her to her parent. Please, please and please...Divorce is not the best option, think about your children and their future. I believe you can still work things out for better and live happily. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Godmystrength: 6:20pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
liyuboy:Are you saying that she started changing after two years of marriage? Can you really walk back into the past and determined when the changes started and the circumstances around that time? liyuboy:Is there something her father does and she also want you to be doing for her? what is that thing? (not saying you should be like her father but just want to know what she is using as the basis of comparison) liyuboy:This same thing you just told us on NL, have you discussed them with her? What was her response? One thing i have come to realise about life is that you are the only one that knows what can/will make you happy. Noone can assume (on your behalf) to know you better than yourself.. Most times, the things we keep doing and thinking they are suppose to make our spouse happy might not be what they actually want. Using myself as an example, Imagine my hubby complaining to a friend now that he bought me 5 different dresses with shoes to match and that i am not appreciative and that i am complaining about the clothes that he bought at an expensive price, he repainted the house to my favorite colors for my birthday, change all the curtains in the house to the best he could lay his hands on, bought some numbers of jeans and t shirts for our son, that i have been looking for N1,000 to get a simple black multipurpose slippers and he decided to surprise me by getting a very good quality expensive slippers of my favorite color, cooked a big pot of delicious soup (with orisirisi) waiting for my arrival from work, bla bla bla and i could not say a simple thank you. And that i have been fighting and nagging him all day... I know if you are the friend, you might be quick to call me a bad wife.... Only for you to hear from me that he used the money meant for our house rent and loan repayment to get all those and he still has some debts to settle on them.....(I just gave you a real case scenario).... I am not saying you are doing something bad, but sometimes, while we are killing ourselves to please someone, what that someone wants might be just one little trivial thing and everyone will be happen..... I am not excusing your wife of all her ''bad'' behaviors neither is there any need for me to blame/condemn your wife here just to make you feel good since she isn't here to read and i believe you came to NL to find solution to make things work better and not backup/support for the divorce in your mind 63 Likes 1 Share |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by ednut1(m): 6:41pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
part of d reason i dey fear to marry 6 Likes |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Godmystrength: 6:49pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
ednut1:There is no fear in love 5 Likes |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by pickabeau1: 6:50pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
Godmystrength:; nor love in fear 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Godmystrength: 6:51pm On Oct 16, 2014 |
okay pickabeau1: 2 Likes |
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